[IC] Stranger Beetles

[Metronome]

He picked the cherry flavored Jello and slurped it up. "Hey, haunted houses are the shit, man. Cheap, free cooling, an audience, if you're into that kinda' thing." He winked, then laughed at his own dirty joke yet again.

On screen, a basket ball hit the bathroom window as the woman was brushing her teeth. Seriously? Was this was counted as a 'scare' these days? "Well, time to take another one!"

As predicted, they were about halfway through the first film before they'd finished the whole tray. "Damn. Lemme go see what else these little punk left behind," He said as he floated up lazily and headed to the kitchen.

[Beetlejuice96]

"I told you these movies were -HIC!- bullshit." Ash slurred, already a little tipsy as they continued watching. "Who comes up with this shit? Go back to school you f -HIC!- fuckers!"

[Metronome]

Beetlejuice could be heard cackling from the kitchen as Ash opened the floodgates to the cursing. He was digging around for more cheap booze when a hilariously dumb, drunken idea popped into his head. He grinned mischievously and flew upstairs to snoop.

When he returned he was wearing a set of lacy lingerie that had clearly been left behind by a college girl, one much smaller than him. He waltzed into the living room and did a spin, arms in the air.

"Whatcha' think, Ashy? Is pink my color?" He grinned stupidly.

[Beetlejuice96]

Whither it was from the jello shots or how he was dressed, Beej would never know as Ash turned a deep shade of red as they looked at him speechless for a while. "N-Now if I didn't know any better, dearie, I'd think you're -HIC!- trying to seduce me with your sex -HIC!- sexiness."

[Metronome]

"It wouldn't be the worst idea I've ever had," Beetlejuice grinned. He didn't know Ash could turn that dark, and it was both hilarious and adorable. "Are you gonna' spread rumors about me at school if I put out on the first date?" He clenched his hands to his chest, feigning worry.

[Beetlejuice96]

"Oh, you little tease." Ash purred before stumbling to their feet to playfully chase after him. "I'm going to -HIC!- show you why it's not a bad or worse idea at all~."

[Metronome]

He giggled deviously as he flew up the stairs. "You gotta' catch me first!" He blew Ash a kiss from the top step. God, they were weird.

The next morning came a little too soon, and Beetlejuice could feel the dull headache of a little too much booze. One good thing about being dead was that the hang overs weren't nearly as bad. He groaned softly and rubbed his eyes, sitting up in the bed they'd hijacked. He looked over at Ash and smiled, chuckling softly.

"I'm an idiot for letting you talk me into this date," He said. "But I'm glad you did."

[Beetlejuice96]

"Please don't yell, darling, it makes my head ring." Ash begged as they lifted themselves up a little to smile at him. "As for the idiotsy, at least you're my idiot." They chuckled before kissing his cheek.

"Next date night, you're picking the place." They said, booping his nose playfully.

[Metronome]

"What? I thought the hijacked cabin in the woods was a great idea," He said with a chuckle. "I guess we probably should scram before those breathers come back for their shit, though." He paused. "Whatcha' think, Ashy? Ready to pack it up and head home?"

[Beetlejuice96]

"I suppose we must." They sighed softly before looking up at him. "Ooor, we could scare off a few more before heading home." They smirked, knowing it was a little tempting.

[Metronome]

"Tempting," He said, "But maybe let's get cleaned up, first." Beetlejuice never thought those words would leave his mouth.

Once they were both presentable, Beetlejuice stole some food from the kitchen for breakfast. "So, where's out last scare gonna be at?" He asked, as he munched on some pretentious as hell granola bar.

[Beetlejuice96]

"I think it should start in the cabin before turning towards the woods. Send them screaming back to their cars ,maybe chase them a little." Ash replied

[Metronome]

He tossed the wrapper on the floor behind him. "Sounds like a plan!" Right on cue, a van pulled up outside. No doubt the college kids returning to try and reclaim their belongings during the safety of daylight. Beetlejuice grinned and pulled Ash into the nearest closet.
"Whatcha' thinking? Slasher? Swamp monster? Poltergeist? Oooh, maybe a slashing poltergeist swamp monster?"

[Beetlejuice96]

"I love it. Besides, what's better than one slashing poltergeist swamp monster?" Ash replied as they shifted into just that, dawning sharp fangs and claws.

The kids soon walked in, foolishly thinking they were safe in daylight.

[Metronome]

Beetlejuice promptly took the part as the victim, specifically a human with his arm torn off and a giant bite taken out of his side. He burst from the closet, dragging a mangled leg behind him.

"Run before it eats you!" He screamed, flailing his other arm. "It's evil! Pure evil! And hideous!"

[Beetlejuice96]

Ash appeared around the corner, holding onto the severed arm as blood dripped from their fangs. "Leave this place or suffer the curse!" Ash wailed in a ghostly demonic voice as it grabbed Beetlejuice, dragging him back to a gruesome, inevitable death.

The kids took off shrieking like banshees as they fled, roaches when the lights turned on. Ash cackled with laughter.

[Metronome]

He rolled onto his back, howling with laughter. The arm Ash was holding sprung to life and crawled back over to re-connect to his shoulder. Beetlejuice floated up, now back into his normal form. "God, those kids are never gonna' sleep again!" He laughed. He headed back to the kitchen and nicked a bottle of vodka for the road. "Well, Ashy, ready to go?"

[Beetlejuice96]

"Iggy is probably wondering where I am. Your Lydia must be worried you didn't come home." Ash replied as they took hold of his arm gently. "I did have a great time, darling. We should do it again."

[Metronome]

He had a feeling Lydia probably knew exactly why he didn't come home. Damn kid was too smart for her own good. He smiled. "Yeah, we should. Maybe next weekend when Lyds comes to visit?" Beetlejuice held on to Ash, and they were suddenly back at the station. He smiled and them, then leaned up to give them a kiss.

[Beetlejuice96]

Ash blushed a little before kissing him back. It turned darker when they heard a whoop from one of the gang. "WHOO! It's getting hot in here!" Max exclaimed, teasing the two demons.

"Quiet you!" Ash snapped, face still flushed before looking over at Beetlejuice. "Next weekend sounds perfect."

"Bow chicka bow bow." Max teased again with a cackle.

"SHUT IT!" Ash yelled.