Feeling ignored. Part 2.

[Majora]

<Snipped quote by Majora>

<Snipped quote by NesyExecutive>

okay, so i know people generally don't know how to pronounce my username

but this one's new even for me

@Ammokkx

I don't know shit about names. Almost copy pasted, went 'I can wing it', obviously didn't wing it well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Should have stuck with 'ammo', at least then it looks deliberate.

[NesyExecutive]

Alright, I'll try to be approach more when it comes to roleplay. It'll be kind of hesitant at first but I'll just embrace it like a madman I truly am...I hope.

Edit: Swapped out the word: Approachative to this. "I try to approach more." LOL

[Mixtape Ghost N]

approachative

@NesyExecutive

Not even a word

[NesyExecutive]

@The Ghost Note

I know that, but still hah... You get what I mean about it. Just attempting to approach more. By the way I'm looking for fantasy or sci-fi roleplay so. I'm like, hard-looking for em.

By hard-looking I really mean I am looking for one.

[Roach]

As an aside, I don't think it is helpful (or safe) for a minor to hide their age in their 1x1 interest checks to potentially get more activity, as some people in this thread have advocated for. The actual number may not be necessary, but a heads up like, "I am under the age of 18" is appreciated – and it's not just an internet security, cover-your-ass thing.

In my opinion, hiding it would be disrespectful to potential partners who may have personal boundaries about not roleplaying with minors. They may not want to roleplay adult themes (not necessarily sexual things, but topics like addiction, violence, other dark story elements) with someone under the age of 18. That is fine – it is their prerogative to have limits on who they want to tell stories with.

They also may not want to roleplay with someone under the age of 18, period. That's also fine. They are allowed to want to write with someone who is on equal footing, with similar life experience and maturity, regardless of topic or genre. Considering that roleplaying is a social hobby that often leads to internet friendships that last long after a thread dies, it is not at all wrong that people should want those potential friendships to be with people in their own age bracket.

Calling it age discrimination is ignoring the potentially-valid feelings of the person on the other side of the screen. Key word being person. They would be fully within their rights to drop anyway if they do find out you're underage, so it may save everyone time and effort to be upfront about it.

Trying to mislead someone into roleplaying with someone they would otherwise be uncomfortable writing with (if they knew the full circumstances) might be something a lot of us did as shitty teenagers on the internet, but... was it good of us to do that? Looking back, probably not.

[NesyExecutive]

As an aside, I don't think it is helpful (or safe) for a minor to hide their age in their 1x1 interest checks to potentially get more activity, as some people in this thread have advocated for. The actual number may not be necessary, but a heads up like, "I am under the age of 18" is appreciated – and it's not just an internet security, cover-your-ass thing.

In my opinion, hiding it would be disrespectful to potential partners who may have personal boundaries about not roleplaying with minors. They may not want to roleplay adult themes (not necessarily sexual things, but topics like addiction, violence, other dark story elements) with someone under the age of 18. That is fine – it is their prerogative to have limits on who they want to tell stories with.

They also may not want to roleplay with someone under the age of 18, period. That's also fine. They are allowed to want to write with someone who is on equal footing, with similar life experience and maturity, regardless of topic or genre. Considering that roleplaying is a social hobby that often leads to internet friendships that last long after a thread dies, it is not at all wrong that people should want those potential friendships to be with people in their own age bracket.

Calling it age discrimination is ignoring the potentially-valid feelings of the person on the other side of the screen. Key word being person. They would be fully within their rights to drop anyway if they do find out you're underage, so it may save everyone time and effort to be upfront about it.

Trying to mislead someone into roleplaying with someone they would otherwise be uncomfortable writing with (if they knew the full circumstances) might be something a lot of us did as shitty teenagers on the internet, but... was it good of us to do that? Looking back, probably not.

@Roach

Sounds pretty logical to me. I mean, I was pretty blinded by my frustration that I called it age-discrimination. That was stupid shit, that I did.

[Majora]

Some followup asides before I'm back in the shade.

Though it may seem pretty weird. But I don't really "Focus" on age primarily but more like secondary and I don't complain too much because I have the right to voice it out when I feel to.

@NesyExecutive

What you feel of your own approach is secondary to what people take from it, unfortunately. Sometimes one must adjust if they think they're doing something one way, and it's not working despite it surely being right. I write for what I derive, not for what you intended. What I derive is that you put much more emphasis on your age than people typically do, and that is part of what comes off as problematic.

Bold of me to assume but the reason you wouldn't roleplay with me is just that I'm not old enough and that you may not be comfortable roleplaying with me regardless of wrting style.

@NesyExecutive

Yes, and the breakdown on the last page elaborates on that. "Old enough" by raw numbers is a matter of liability. Otherwise I judge by compatibility and a certain level of perceived maturity. The latter can overcome the former (especially if I don't know) unless the former directly rears itself.

Those are my reasons; the last point I made covers a few others, which I find unnecessary at times since I've had perfectly good roleplays with people who were younger and a few years back, an excellent one with someone who was definitely younger... in a setting where the NSFW concepts I explore would never come up and liability would be virtually impossible, unlike here.

However, the reason I actually am open about my age in interest-checks is that I don't want people to bump into me and like ask about my age due to some... Weird scenario let's say. When it happens someone is asking for smut and I decline and tell my age. I don't approach someone's PMS without permission so that's all about it. I'm very much aware about why there's 18+ but it's just frustrating me. That's all I have to say to be honest, it's not like the adults are in wrong but it's more like I'm either unlucky or just stupid and pretty whiny about the subject.

@NesyExecutive

This is fair enough, though the former can be covered by being clear about what you want to make it inappropriate in the first place for people to approach you with 'weird' content. Unfortunately this is not the ideal community, especially in the 1x1 section to be openly a younger demographic. Open as the guild is, 1x1 for years has been populated by overwhelmingly 18+ threads in feature compared to the open sections.

I imagine the group roleplay will turn out well since it is a different playing field for a much broader average of tone and content. If it succeeds is another question, but I'm sure you'll learn from it either way. I'd focus on and look into that for the time being and set the 1x1 section in general aside, only to approach people or open yourself up to people in the public sections who seem compatible.

Swapped out the word: Approachative to this. "I try to approach more." LOL

@NesyExecutive

Some use of 'approachable' might work here.

[NesyExecutive]

@Majora

Thanks for being a good sport anyway!

[FinalPalladium]

<Snipped quote by FinalPalladium>

Have done that before to be honest and putting myself into other shoes, in other RP-Sites and here but mainly it's just 18+'s on all interest checks I deem cool which disappoints me entirely due to the 18+ thing anyway. I don't think you know me well to be honest.

@NesyExecutive

Sincerely, I wasn't judging you. I was addressing the facts you mentioned in your own posts here. Being defensive about your age and accusing others of prejudice without looking at it through their prism.

Your answer only makes it more evident you don't understand what are the implications here from the POV of an adult. That's only to be expect since you are a minor and while we have been in your shoes in the past you haven't been in ours yet, that's what's called life experience.

I do agree with the others that legal liability isn't the only factor here.

Certainly it's the one I consider the most because I have no interest on ruining my life over a RP, but there are many other complex things involved. Doing things like roleplaying the weariness that comes from working, or family worries is certainly more engaging when you do it with some that may not have the same exact life experiences, but at least understands it somehow in their own way.

RPing is a great way to lighten your burdens without actually complaining about your actual problems to others because—let's be honest here—more often than not no one cares and it only annoys them. Such a social experience is much more interesting if the other party can relate.

At any rate, you'll get there someday, hopefully. But not with this atitude.

[NesyExecutive]

@FinalPalladium

The problem has been solved, I guess I went on a pure rampage. Sorry for the huge ignorance of mine.

[FinalPalladium]

PS: As a final bit of advice, bringing things like your disability to shield yourself from criticism ("Because I have autism I often do this or that") is also frowned upon—especially by people with the same disability because that paints a bad stigma for them as a whole—I would refrain to mention it as a defense in the future as well if I were you.

On the other hand, it might be something word pointing out in your interest checks, because it might allow others the chance to mentally prepare themselves to deal with you in a respectful and appropriate way, the same it way it would be preferable to mention if you have any non-conforming sexual preferences and such just to make sure others won't others won't offend you without even knowing.

If you require special circumstances make them known, but don't turn them into a crutch. That's seriously not cool.

[NesyExecutive]

@FinalPalladium

PS: As a final bit of advice, bringing things like your disability to shield yourself from criticism ("Because I have autism I often do this or that") is also frowned upon—especially by people with the same disability because that paints a bad stigma for them as a whole—I would refrain to mention it as a defense in the future as well if I were you.

On the other hand, it might be something word pointing out in your interest checks, because it might allow others the chance to mentally prepare themselves to deal with you in a respectful and appropriate way, the same it way it would be preferable to mention if you have any non-conforming sexual preferences and such just to make sure others won't others won't offend you without even knowing.

If you require special circumstances make them known, but don't turn them into a crutch. That's seriously not cool.

@FinalPalladium

Rightly.

[zelxel]

My interest check is being ignored too on every site

[BrokenPromise]

@zelxel Might help if your interest check was more than "I'm looking for people to join my Sailor Moon rp it's walk in style."

People want to be sold an idea, and they want to see you have passion for it. Magical girl RPs crop up all the time and you have to try a bit harder if you want to garner any attention. Try looking at other interest checks for the section you plan on hosting it in to get a feel for what an interest check should look like.

[NesyExecutive]

@zelxel

The same thing happens to me, however I do rarely get roleplayers that are interested. Atleast, I could be happy where I am actually lol.

I'm usually a original type of guy who likes to create his own ideas, share them around and make them happen.

[BangoSkank]

Small suggestion from me, echoing what DruSM said, try making an Interest Check for a relatively developed idea.

The other way works as well, listing like "Starter Ideas" for RPs that you might be interested in or general settings you like...
But that tends to work better when you have written with more people so they know who you are, how you write and if you're someone they enjoy writing with. A good few people here do that but it's only really super useful to someone who has written with you before or knows the quality of your writing. Like I know a few people who do excellent Elder Scrolls RPs, a few people who do a lot of Slice of Life High School or Supernatural RPs (linked below), and a few people who do Warhammer RPs.

Making an Interest Check for an idea you have partially developed helps indicate to prospective partners what interests you and where your writing is. If you have an idea for a world or a dilemma that really interests you, and it sounds like you do, then developing it into a more involved Interest Check might help people who stumble upon it become interested in it as well. That was how I got started writing here, just found an Interest Check that sounded interesting and that was it. If it's well developed it can serve as an introduction to a world that might be a new take or just something folks havent seen in a while. If you're sort of at a loss for how to continue it you could always put up an Interest Check with what you have and specify that you're looking for people to RP with and collaboratively make a world with.

It's the difference between "I'm interested in High School Slice of Life RPs" and roleplayerguild.com/topics/183907-ros…

Try not to take it too hard if you post an Interest Check and get little to no interest too. There are a lot of RPs in progress here generally at any one time and a lot of writers don't want to join more than they feel they can handle. If you happen to make a Murder Mystery RP at a time when there are 3 Murder Mystery RPs underway you might just not find any takers.

Finally if you just don't seem to be having any luck with starting your own RP sometimes the easiest way to start getting active is to join a story that interests you and start getting to know other writers. If you join a story that's not 100% your cup of tea but was a weird setting with a character or two you really liked you might find yourself realizing you really like something you didn't think you would ever try.

[NesyExecutive]

@BangoSkankYes, my existential crisis has been kind of solved. However, I am trying to spark by starting a completely new life in this forum.