Feeling ignored. Part 2.

[NesyExecutive]

I do understand if this is due to me being uh... Not able to write good plots or they are only one character or whatever. But I feel a little ignored and I don't know what to do at this point and such. Honestly, I'm just 15 and it can be hard when you're young and creative. I just want to enjoy a roleplay with someone and I do embrace myself to see other's checks ofc. But that's about it.

It's just that my interest checks being ignored or nobody cares or...Not interested. Honestly, if I were to be older it would've been better! I mean, I might put myself under a wrong impression to be honest. I do feel bad about myself and I've always felt this. Is this what it feels like to be young? To be rejected because of your age, I do know that people seek 18+ stuff but that's not my problem. Or even not comfy with kids. I just feel that it's hurting me in a sense. I have meet likeminded people who've been ignored as well in a few forums. It pains me though, being either young or maybe incompetent but I'm not. I have potential like everyone else but that's about it.

I know what you've probably thought and it seems dumb to complain or maybe there's another problem I'm not addressing. Someone will always take my offer but at dark times it feels so hopeless while I struggle a lot. I've been to multiple forums and sure, it kind of feels like it's the same. Of course, I have been accepted into roleplaying but sometimes, it feels a little alone at times.

Thanks for reading this message, if you've felt the same well feel free to make me less alone.

[rebornfan320]

I don't think it has anything to do with age being a thing on your end, being young in ways has advantages I would say. But I will say this, I can relate to how you feel really on the title/topic at hand.

My interest checks are ignored too, I think it is more of people not interested in me or my ideas. You're not rejected because of age at least to me from the standpoint of experience and youth. I know some people are not as comfortable roleplaying with someone who is not older like 18 plus, some maybe want to be safe in a sense of not wanting to be in trouble.

I do not think it is dumb to complain about a problem you have, I think if you have a problem and you need help then voice it out. I do know the feeling of struggling and dark times, the feeling of loneliness does in fact suck. Truthfully it does.

[NesyExecutive]

@rebornfan320

Life has to suck sometimes, then it could be great. Heh...

[DruSM157]

There could be a plethora of reasons why you're not seeing a lot of interest in your checks. On Casual and Advanced forums, I would try to have a very concrete RP idea before even putting the interest check out. You don't have to have mountains of info for an interest check, but the checks that do well tend to have a focus on what they'll be about.

Also, take note of what's popular in the forum at the moment. For example: High School Slice of Life rps, rps based on popular anime and television shows and rps based on popular canon material tend to have more people apply for them. Also building up a reputation on the guild tends to have people that like writing with you go to your roleplay more often.

My suggestion if you're not seeing a lot of hits on your own ideas? Take a break, look at interest checks you may be interested in, and apply for those. PM the GM about character ideas and try to show your interest; I always take people passionate about my RP, even if they don't have a rich history of detailed posts, especially over someone who's burned me in the past. Also, check out what's popular in different forums, and see about making a twist or an interesting take on that.

That's just some ideas, anyway.

[NesyExecutive]

@DruSM157

I mean it's cool and such. But I don't have mountains of information. Just an introduction and my capabilities and then a bunch of likes and genres. I do like slice-of-life so.

Maybe because of like, timezones as well! But nevertheless, I do say in my int-check: I would like to try out your ideas as well! So, I may fill in criteria but maybe just people aren't interested or maybe I posted it in a wrong timezone, that's my idea.

[Ammokkx]

First off, you haven't actually made or bumped a thread in seven months before you made this. Anyone who goes digging through your post-history may find something like this offputting if you're already complaining before having tried again in recent memory.

Second, put in effort yourself. Don't wait blindly for someone to take a hit on your interest check. Go look at other people's stuff and PM them, too.

Third, if you're only doing 1x1, you're especially likely to get drowned out. 1x1 is not only a crowded market, but also, if you don't already know someone, it's going to be insanely hard to find someone you're compatible with. It's the most wild west of all the sections and can be incredibly hard to find a like-minded individual in.

My suggestions are:

-Don't really begin about your age unless someone asks. It's not info we need to know up-front, your skill as a writer isn't dictated by how old you are.
-Try not to talk about yourself as an individual in general (at least, outside the status bar) because people don't really care unless you become friends with them. It comes off as overly familiar.
-Try to join or make group RPs before going into 1x1 so you can meet people and get some contacts on the guild.

Also, try to avoid telling other people up-front what they should be like in your check. Just describe what you're good at / looking for and then leave it. The less you tell people what to do, the more likely they'll be to want to give you a shot, because then it doesn't seem like you have this pre-conceived notion of mistrust to the general public at large. By differentiating between a 'serious' and a 'non-serious' RPer, you're inherently putting people into one of two camps and asking the question "Oh, so what do I fall in then?"

Simply put, by assuming something of someone else, you're shooting yourself in the foot. You plant the seed of doubt in their head, and they may in turn think you're a problem player yourself. Don't be that way.

[NesyExecutive]

@Ammokkx

That may be it actually. Since I do put my introduction in the check I actually probabaly am doing a mistake doing so! Thanks for your advice though, I'll remove my age and change my interest check.

Best of luck here bud!

[NesyExecutive]

When searching for threads, I just find 18+'s everywhere. Sigh, this is harder then I thought.

[Chuuya]

When searching for threads, I just find 18+'s everywhere. Sigh, this is harder then I thought.

@NesyExecutive

Hey there.

Sorry to see that you're having a difficult time looking for Roleplays on here. I actually read this topic earlier and agree with what Ammokkx already touched on. That said, I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago about how Roleplaying has become somewhat discriminatory towards younger folks (those under age eighteen). I feel that there are a few reasons for this though it mostly comes down to the fact that Roleplay has been, as a whole, on a bit of a downswing lately. Most of the folks already invested in the hobby have been here for years, since they were younger, and are now over age eighteen themselves. I feel like the hobby has been getting less and less interest in recent years as a whole. It's honestly sad, but this is the observation that I've made based on the ages of current users along with who has been coming onto the site lately (based on introduction topics in any case).

I had some issues with this myself when I was around your age. It was actually part of the reason that I lost my self-confidence with writing and stopped on forums for years. I was writing with college aged individuals by the time that I was fifteen myself. I was often barred out of Roleplays because of my age - most of the people around my age wrote differently than me and those that wrote similarly were usually uncomfortable writing with someone under the age of eighteen. As a twenty-two year old, I actually understand as to why this is myself. It's odd and uncomfortable especially when delving into some topics (even non-sexual ones such as gore, mental illness, drug use, etc). I don't think that age really has much to do with your case, however, as you seem to have been inactive for a few months. I would say wait a little longer with your interest check and see what happens.

If you want someone to write with though, I'd be open to hearing your ideas at least. You might have some better luck on alternative sites, however, if you feel the Guild has become too stifling in that regard. RPNation is PG-13 at all times while Iwaku has an entire community geared towards younger users. Whatever you decide, I hope that you're able to find a solution to your dilemma.

[NesyExecutive]

@Hyde

I understand mate, but I am not having a problem with that when it comes to waiting but it just feels a little ignoring! I am on RPNATION of course!

But I'm very patient but sometimes I have the right to speak out of course, I hope you understand that. Wait, you want to hear my ideas? Oh yeah! They're actually on the RP-Interest check inside of a document. If you access it or I could PM you one then it'll be awesome.

[Carlyle]

That said, I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago about how Roleplaying has become somewhat discriminatory towards younger folks (those under age eighteen).

@Hyde

To be fair, this is really only a problem in 1x1, which is mainly due to how most 1x1 RPers on the guild either want to write smut with a legal adult or just generally feel more comfortable writing any 1x1 with someone their own age for whatever reason they have.

[NesyExecutive]

@Kuro

<Snipped quote by Hyde>

To be fair, this is really only a problem in 1x1, which is mainly due to how most 1x1 RPers on the guild either want to write smut with a legal adult or just generally feel more comfortable writing any 1x1 with someone their own age for whatever reason they have.

@Kuro

That's how it is unfortunately. It does shatter my heart when people are discriminatory though.

[FinalPalladium]

@Kuro

<Snipped quote by Kuro>

That's how it is unfortunately. It does shatter my heart when people are discriminatory though.

@NesyExecutive

I think this has less to do with discrimination and more with the fact people don't want to get into hot water for dealing with children on the internet. Just imagine for a moment what could happen if one of your parents/legal caretaker took a hold of one of your RPs with someone who's above 18 and decided that the content is inappropriate regardless of your opinion on it (since minor have no legal say in such matters) and sought legal action against that other player?

In the world of today you don't need much, just one misinterpreted word, to get your life completely screwed over, no matter your original intentions.

Maybe if you put yourself in others' shoes instead of being accusatory and defensive, you could find a better reception.

[NesyExecutive]

<Snipped quote by NesyExecutive>

I think this has less to do with discrimination and more with the fact people don't want to get into hot water for dealing with children on the internet. Just imagine for a moment what could happen if one of your parents/legal caretaker took a hold of one of your RPs with someone who's above 18 and decided that the content is inappropriate regardless of your opinion on it (since minor have no legal say in such matters) and sought legal action against that other player?

In the world of today you don't need much, just one misinterpreted word, to get your life completely screwed over, no matter your original intentions. Also, I get the children stuff already but it's just that it's annoying when people primarily look for smut.

Maybe if you put yourself in others' shoes instead of being accusatory and defensive, you could find a better reception.

@FinalPalladium

Have done that before to be honest and putting myself into other shoes, in other RP-Sites and here but mainly it's just 18+'s on all interest checks I deem cool which disappoints me entirely due to the 18+ thing anyway. I don't think you know me well to be honest.

[Majora]

There's interesting psychology at play here to be sure - I was roleplaying before I was 18 and getting into 18+ circles, but that was a matter of mindset and different circumstance, and not something I could turn into a usable guide for others.

Instead I'll speak for myself now, as I developed past the mindset of those early years and have put myself firmly into the 18+ search camp.

I'll share the main reasons I'd look by or likely decline if you approached me for roleplay.
- 18+ is a matter of liability in many cases. I get into legally 18+ content frequently. If it's not for sexual content, it's because I straight up explore very adult material. The last thing I need is a parent on my ass. If I consciously know you are not 18, I am liable because of it due to where I live. Regardless of what we're doing I am now walking on a certain set of legal eggshells. I don't need that in my life. Roleplay with me is under the automatic assumption you are the proper age. If I don't know and you strike me as mature, whatever. If I do know, that changes the dynamic regardless of how mature you seem. I can fight with ignorance, that goes away once you make a front line opening of the fact you're 15.

I had to cut off someone who was 17, both physically and in maturity that I knew might have been on the border. It sucked, but due to the content matter and my stringent policy on how to not get in shit, it had to happen. The player is now 18+ and I welcome contact anytime.

- 18+ is a generic, but often accurate form of vetting. Legally or not, it's simple fact that on the average, people who are 18+ are more mature or at least functional with the subject matter I explore on average than not. Now again, I don't have any qualms with the idea of having roleplayed with someone below 18 who never brought it up and who was mature enough. Why? I did that myself. I didn't go out with age. I was a slippery little shit who just made it about the roleplay and did all sorts of other things to pass the time (aside from life itself) and it worked. If someone else does that to me, good for them, they've earned it and they're certainly smart enough not to bust it by opening up out of the blue and going 'oh and I'm 16' because it's almost certain they too are aware of a level of liability even if they aren't in material that would result in legal issue. I know people under 18 can have the maturity. Usually they don't. Usually those people oust themselves. Sometimes they're above the legal age and make decisions like they're 12. Don't worry, I acknowledge that too.

- Thou protests too much. This is the biggest thing that would turn me off from roleplaying with you.

It's not because of your age itself. It's because of your focus on your age. Your total lack of awareness of the liability involved, or the fact people begin making assumptions when they know about things. Instead of focusing on the roleplay and maturity you bring, you prominently focus on your age, right down to your signature. You are defensive about it. It is the stereotypical "but I'm 12 and a half," or "hey I'm a kid but you don't know me" while seeming to miss what people are actually saying.

Aside from that you have a tendency towards snap statements. It's harder to explain, but there are signs from the writing style itself.From that I assess, right or wrong based on what you show me, that you would not be able to get me on maturity. You wouldn't be able to hide it if all you did was not bring up the age, per the interest check (which is subverted by this thread, something a serious partner would likely see before jumping into a message). You look and act 15 as it is interpreted online. That's down two counts.

18+ also tends to offer advantages in life experience, situation handling and (per above) handling of sensitive material (though these days that becomes very murky...) all of which people would be right, by broad stereotypes that developed for a reason, to wonder about with someone younger than that. It's why you have people who tend to look for others in their age group or people who actually go out and write 25+ at times. It's a bit simplistic and I don't do it, but there's a reason for it when it shows up as something people stick to. 18+ on this site though strikes me as being used for liability and as basic vetting much more often, slightly informed by the above.

- Other things.

Aommokkx brought up quite a bit here. For the recent history alone I wouldn't know what to make of it aside from wondering if you've actually given enough of a chance to say people are, in fact, ignoring you. It's a simple fact that most people are going to have a heck of a time both finding and keeping roleplays because this is an issue across roleplaying itself.

This is blunt and not well tailored, but it's my honest thought. If it isn't clear now, it may be more understandable down the line.

[NesyExecutive]

@Majora

Though it may seem pretty weird. But I don't really "Focus" on age primarily but more like secondary and I don't complain too much because I have the right to voice it out when I feel to. That's how life is with autism though, it may be hard to voice my opinion out because it seems rather non-logical or dumb. However, sure I may have a disability but I'm working hard to combat it. I'm not using this as an excuse but mostly due to me misinterpreting stuff and yes I was diagnosed with atypical autism so that matter is solved. Mostly it's because of interest checks and such. Bold of me to assume but the reason you wouldn't roleplay with me is just that I'm not old enough and that you may not be comfortable roleplaying with me regardless of wrting style. So sorry if this statement caused any...Further issues about my complaining. It's just that I feel like protesting and yeah.

Also that I may be seen as immature but some parts of myself are grown up a little. However, I do feel the need to speak out anyway! I have to at least voice it out in a sense but feel like I can't keep it in. But, you could cut me some slack about the whole subject. I may be a young roleplayer but that doesn't mean I won't ever improve but of course, you didn't say that but it seems to be a little strange.

Yes what Aommokkx brought up was a good point. However, the reason I actually am open about my age in interest-checks is that I don't want people to bump into me and like ask about my age due to some... Weird scenario let's say. When it happens someone is asking for smut and I decline and tell my age. I don't approach someone's PMS without permission so that's all about it. I'm very much aware about why there's 18+ but it's just frustrating me. That's all I have to say to be honest, it's not like the adults are in wrong but it's more like I'm either unlucky or just stupid and pretty whiny about the subject.

[Alfhedil]

It's not you or people judging you based on your age when it comes to why people aren't clicking on your interest checks and showing interest. It's just a thing that happens to everyone, like it's hard enough for some of the regulars to get fresh interest in their things. Most people I know generally shift from RP to RP in their own group, picking up a few, dropping a few along the way. This is just how it works.

I would seriously suggest listening to some of the prior advice though, especially in dialing back and trying to just integrate into the community first. Join up with a few RPs that look interesting. Make connections with people and get to know them. After a while you'll have some people that you could just say "Hey, I got this idea." and there's a few guaranteed players. This stuff takes time.

[Ammokkx]

Aommokkx

@Majora

Aommokkx

@NesyExecutive

okay, so i know people generally don't know how to pronounce my username

but this one's new even for me

[NesyExecutive]

@Alfhedil

Thanks for telling me that though. I mean, It's just hard integrating myself into things and I always look at other people and see how they were successful. Which leads me to think I am the only one left. But with your statement, I'm not sure how I feel any more in my honesty.

However, I am actually making my own group roleplay dedicated to sci-fi and sci-fantasy here on the forums. Sometimes I'm scared to approach people because I might get rejected, it sounds weird but I feel nervous and shy sometimes. It's alright to be shy though, especially in forums and interest checks. I only got like 1 player the last time I joined and now it's just 2 players in the last 2-3 weeks? Or 1. Though, I feel I must take the step of my life anyway. Thanks for being so understanding.

It's not you or people judging you based on your age when it comes to why people aren't clicking on your interest checks and showing interest. It's just a thing that happens to everyone, like it's hard enough for some of the regulars to get fresh interest in their things. Most people I know generally shift from RP to RP in their own group, picking up a few, dropping a few along the way. This is just how it works.

I would seriously suggest listening to some of the prior advice though, especially in dialing back and trying to just integrate into the community first. Join up with a few RPs that look interesting. Make connections with people and get to know them. After a while you'll have some people that you could just say "Hey, I got this idea." and there's a few guaranteed players. This stuff takes time.

@Alfhedil

[NesyExecutive]

@Ammokkxoh omegalul lmao.

Sorry.