[IC] King of the Hill: Boiled Mountain Dew Electric Boogaloo II

[rocketrobie2]

"I think that's a very good idea Dale." Bill uttered, his grip getting ever tighter on the branded chalice his own clutches bore. His head shook vigorously as he concered with his long time companion Dale.

[Product]

Boomhauer manuevered himself between Bill and Hank, in the event Bill kept running his mouth. "Dang it, Redcorn ain't doing yoga with nancy, man, but yeah man I tell ya what, them chicks doing yoga down there at the dang ol' Arlen Mall. I seen em' do that...human pretzel."

He took a sip of beer, finishing the last of his can. "A lot of creeps like Bill down there man. Not good. Not good."

[xXSINXx]

An old hippie van made it's way down the street, playing loud muffled punk music before it stopped at a house across the street from the Hill's. There had been a for sale sign in that lot for months. Paige and her friends, one male the other two females, stepped out.

They all grabbed a few things and started moving Paige in. After a few moments the van pulled off and Paige was there in here new yard waving goodbye to her friends, a slight breeze blowing through her hair.

[BangoSkank]

Dale squinted his eyes taking in the new young woman who had arrived in town. Weird clothes. Hippie Van. Across the street from Hank.

"Goddamn night crawler that one." He said in a tone one might use when explaining a deep truth to a rapt audience.

"Goddamn FBI spying on us. Probably making sure we all take the 5G shots."

Still it was good to see a new face. Town was slowly growing. This one would turn Arlen into Austin if she's not a goddamn glow worm. Could never be too safe. He'd have to implement some counter intelligence measures. An extra layer of tin foil around the old Gribble PC, more cinder blocks in the living room, reach out to his connections on the Discords and the Tikki Toks and all that. They wouldn't take him easily, not even with all the doohickeys and whatchamacallits they had.

He'd play it cool.

"Probably saw Bobby's search history eh Hank? Boy ain't right."

[Dark Cloud]

Hank just hoped as block captain he wouldn't need to enforce his authority too harshly upon the lady, but when Dale spoke up about Bobby's search history Hank shuddered "Bwuh," he didn't want to think about what he saw on his son's history but he knew he would never look at clowns the same again "Where'd I go wrong with that boy." he shook his head.

[xXSINXx]

Paige looked across the street to see the four men standing, she waved at them before coming to introduce herself. "Oh rad! Beer! You fols are alright." She sounded like your typical stoner, hippie woman with a North Carolina accent, now looking at Hank presenting her hand."Names Paige Romano, came all they way from Cameron NC to get here. Hell of a drive, mnd if I partake?" She asks pointing at the beer cooler.

[Rodiak]

Luanne was in the backyard under the tree attempting to do one of them yogas. Her newly bought mat had all sorts of pretty pink and blue flowers. Peggy had loved it and ordered one right away, something that Hank didn't much agree on. But then again, Uncle Hank still wasn't over her being a fighter for the people and the revolution! When she heard a woman's voice, Luanne spotted her Crow pose and stood up to peek over the wooden gate.

[BangoSkank]

Dale patted his pockets for another pack of cigarettes. It had been too long. He had forgotten if he had just finished or just started a pack. Shit maybe he had quit. No no, probably not that.

He patted his pockets three times until another pack of cigarettes materialized as if by magic. Nice.

He pulled out two of them. Talking about Bobby, that definitely called for two cigarettes. Maybe even a threefer.

He posed himself as cool and casual and reflective as he could. Looking off into the middle distance all mysterious and broody like.

He began to speak but broke into a coughing fit. After a brief pause to regain his breath and dignity he continued on as if nothing had happened.

"Bobby? Shit Hank, where didn't you go wrong? Now you look at my Joseph, boys right out of the ol' Gribble playbook. Probably out there seducing all the ladies, setting college football records, putting all them liberal professors in their place."

He takes another long drawl of both cigarettes, this time holding his own though his cheeks visibly bulge with a barely held back hack,

"Shoot you'll see, soon as he comes back to town he's gonna be Governor or Mayor or some shit. You all better vote for my boy."

[Product]

Boomhauer grinned as Dale continued to praise Joseph. It was very touching to see someone with so much love for their child. If only Hank could show the same dedication to Bobby. It was about this time that John Redcorn drove by, stopping in front of Dale's house to take care of Nancy's headaches. The Texas ranger could only shake his head to hide his disgust

"Joseph. Dang ol' Block captain election." Boomhauer tried to suggest to Dale before turning and looking Hank in the eyes and taking another sip of Beer.

Boomhauer helped their new neighbor get a beer. "Dang, y'know welcome ol rainy street." Digging into the cooler, he retrieved a cold beer and tossed it to Paige, but it was a bad throw and a little high.

[Dark Cloud]

Hank wanted to argue with Dale or y'know kick his ass but in the end his jackass of a friend was right, he just sighed defeated and sipped his can of Alamo beer. Hell if he could trade Bobby for Joseph he would, well he wouldn't but his son was..just wasn't right. It was bad enough that Luanne and Lucky had divorced and she was back living with them but Bobby was getting weird.

[BangoSkank]

"You know what," Dale said squinting despite his sunglasses and hat,
"At least Luanne is doing good."

He drew the rest of the cigarette in one long suck, shook his head around with his hands like you might shake up a dang ol' giant 8-Ball, if you had an 8-Ball that big for some reason, and blew it out in another long ass breath. Ever since they took all them good ingredients out the cough syrup and the Four Lokos and all that he needed something stronger than good old nicotine and Dew.

Light-headed now he continued on,

"I never liked Lucky much. Sounded like some kind of fruity Seattle guy. Or like Portland. Or Santy Franciscy or something. Squirrelly little fucker. And I'll tell you what, toward the end Hank,"

He looks off into the middle distance again. His repertoire of cool guy moves is very limited. It's basically Middle Distance Looking and Not Looking At Explosions, but with Hank here running the propane and propane accessories business there aren't too many explosions.

Anywho, Dale continued on looking all dramatic like,

"Toward the end there Hank I don't think Lucky liked Luanne much. He wasn't a big fan of her no more. She's in a better place now Hank. She'll turn it around I reckon. She came home, back in Alamo and making friends. Shit these day she hangs out with Only Fans. Heard her talking about it. Spends all day with them most every day."

Bill looks as though he has something to say for a second, but then he just does a creepy Bill Dauterive laugh, slams the rest of his Alamo, and hurries into his house about as fast as he's ever moved.