[OOC] Uno Mundus -Uncovering the World Secret-

[Grey]

Lexzah said
No we are still trying to get started. having more members now will make it easier ^^hmm we still doing the whole dragon library thing first grey?

BumpintoRenbumpintoRenbumpintoRen

I mean, yes.

Also, Will, do you know what I had for the Class IV and II descriptions? I recall the ones for I, III, and V, but not those.

[HellHoundWoof]

So any critiques or ideas as to when the mods will be on?

[Grey]

Well, I'm online and the CoGM, apparently, but I don't think I have authority to Deny/Accept CSs.

Plus, if we're being honest here, I'm REALLY nitpicky. Dunno if you'd even want me to critique you. And it's ~12:30AM, and I'm particularly irritable when I don't sleep enough, if you need more fuel for the flame.

Will lives across the world from me, so I'd say he's busy since it's roughy 2:30PM where he is.

[HellHoundWoof]

Ok I'll let you rest rather than annoy you and get a bad word in.

[Lexzah]

Grey said
BumpintoRenbumpintoRenbumpintoRenI mean, yes.Also, Will, do you know what I had for the Class IV and II descriptions? I recall the ones for I, III, and V, but not those.

Alright I will bump into Ren, where is he currently?

[HellHoundWoof]

Sooooooo if our major GM is on the other side of the world should he be on by about 4am eastern standard time?

[Lexzah]

Depends on where everyone else is as well X3
But I would assume so.

[Grey]

Lexzah said
Alright I will bump into Ren, where is he currently?

The cafe. You know the one.

[Lexzah]

hehe alright, I will make sure she 'bumps' into Ren

[HellHoundWoof]

Oh god I would be great in that cantina scene my character is essentially a super soldier as well! Ugh! I would work so well with that. The frustration of watching a perfect scene go by XD

[Lexzah]

haha, always the way isn't it?

And I replied to you Grey.

[HellHoundWoof]

Indeed always the way. Always...

[Grey]

OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW SLEEP. TIME TO REVIEW A CS!

[HellHoundWoof]

I feel bad that I brought this fit upon him...

[Grey]

Oh, it ain't your fault. I just found several fanmixes of songs that I want to sift through to find stuffs to download later.

[HellHoundWoof]

Is it my CS you're reviewing? If so I believe I've played a small part in the bringing of this fit.

[Grey]

Well, I'm doing both, but yours is probably gonna be quicker, so I'm doin' it first.

[HellHoundWoof]

Ok

[Grey]

HellHoundWoof said
Appearance: He is tall and muscular though he does not work out it is merely worked into his physiology, he has long dark hair that he pushes back behind his head. He has greenish gray eyes and a small scar over his right eye. He has a tattoo of 1624 on his right forearm which is what he will introduce himself as.

I prefer pictures but that's a nitpicky thing

Name: Project 1624

Alias: None

Race: Clone of an elf and human hybrid.

Nationality: Lyranian.
Lyranias isn't the continent to be spitting out clones, IIRC. Pitover or Island Nation would be better. Unless this is where his 'original' came from

Occupation: He has no occupation and is currently seeking clues as to who he is.

Age: 21
There is a thing here I was going to mention here, but I forgot over the song change.

Oh right, so is this his legit age or his biological age? Since I'd assume a clone would have accelerated aging to be useful quicker rather than having to wait X amount of years.

Gender: Male

Specialty / Skill: He is good at cooking though he does not know how, he is also gifted with instant combat reflexes however he loses sight of his goals in combat other than to neutralize his opponent.

So how instant is instant?

Personality: He is commonly a shy person but can be flirtatious at times. If provoked he will likely be hostile or conflict with whomever stands in his way. He prefers to avoid contact with other people as he suspects people to shun him and or harm him.

>Shy and avoids contact with other people
>Flirtatious

I cannot see that combination working out, at all. Also, this seems a bit on the short side.

Ability: He is prone to act as though in combat which gives him instant reflexes if attacked or if he hears a sound he does not recognize as familiar. However he cannot always control it and will likely harm someone if they were to accidentally trip and or wake him in his sleep. His bones are near unbreakable as well as increased strength and stamina due to his enhanced physiology.

Well he must hate amusement parks and horror movies

Others: He does not like being given orders and commonly seeks to avoid situations where he is not in control. He seeks the man he is cloned after and generally anyone who'm can help him survive and find out more about himself. Not knowing his true name he does not give any name and if he is comfortable enough will tell his story.

So THERE'S where the rest of the Personality went. Though I feel you could mesh the personality traits together better.

Also, he doesn't sound like a very good Super Soldier, I can see why they left him what with the insubordinate personality.

I hope my usual review style still works. Is the Bold formatting there?

[HellHoundWoof]

Thank you for the critiques I'm gonna rewrite some stuff now.