Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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Prince said
No one is going to be directly related to people of the past like the Amekage. You may want to revamp that history to make it just a wee bit more plausible.Yes. We're still accepting.


Alright I can do that.

Alright I shall cut that out too, anything else? ^_^ Really having to make some edits is better than flat out rejection just as long as it's not change everything. Lol
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
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I just proof read your current history. You jump from three villages, you claimed to have been trained by the Amekage at a time that an Amekage couldn't even chronologically be alive. There were no Kage in existence at the specific time your character was said to be training with one; that would have been during the Reign of Sai. I seriously feel like you have taken no time to consider this setting.

I'm going to afford you one opportunity to revamp your entire CS before I simply ask you to leave.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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Prince said
I just proof read your current history. You jump from three villages, you claimed to have been trained by the Amekage at a time that an Amekage couldn't even chronologically be alive. There were Kage in existence at the specific time your character was said to be training with one; that would have been during the Reign of Sai. I seriously feel like you have taken no time to consider this setting. I'm going to afford you one opportunity to revamp your entire CS before I simply ask you to leave.


I think I changed enough of her history and removed the OP techniques, I hope this is suitable to you.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
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LillyDove said
I think I changed enough of her history and removed the OP techniques, I hope this is suitable to you.


It's really not.. I see no efforts for you to be part of this roleplay. Your character is a generic Naruto-themed character with no single quality that stands out to place her in this setting. I don't feel like you understand what is trying to be done here, and I surely don't think you realize your history contradicts itself.

Her father is a semi-wealthy Genjutsu master. Means he's a Shinobi. Why couldn't her mother afford healthcare? Also, you use generic medical terms without even knowing what they mean. If she was afflicted by a disease caused by a pandemic, she wouldn't be chronically ill. Her illness would be acute and severe.

I seriously cannot emphasize enough that your character is not built for this roleplay.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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That's alright, I feel like I put a lot of thought into her but I understand others have different opinions. They spent most of their money while they moved and to build the house in Konoha.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Marrow
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dunrhvrj (or something like that) can be a genin in the team of lillydove and me
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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I completely rewrote her entire history and working in her personality, hopefully this time, she is acceptable.

Her personality is finished now too.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Big Sister AM
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Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
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LillyDove said Her mother eventually found her, in tears hiding under a tree and decided to stay with her until she was alright. Okani told her mother that it was all her fault, they would never have left if she didn't take to Genjutsu and her mother promptly told her that in order to honor his sacrifice that she would need to become a Genjutsu master in Konoha. However her confidence had been dashed and she wasn't sure that she could do that, but her mother insisted.

Em rolling in the Academy and trying hard to measure up, failing some of the times as she wasn't a born fighter, being one who preferred to keep to the side lines. She graduated when she was 10 being the top Genjutsu user in her class, figuring out that if she needed to keep in the side lines than her own Jutsu's were needed, she set to work on developing them.

In the next coming years, she perfected her three Rose Jutsu's and went into the finals of the Chuunin exam, despite her hard work, she became a Chuunin the next year and it took her five years to become a Genjutsu master at Joinin Level.


You are only slightly better at this point. It has only been like a year and a half since the fall of Sai. Literally, there were NO Shinobi Academies. She could not have graduated to become a Genin. There were no Chuunin exams. She could not have been promoted. Shinobi earned their ranks in the Resistance.

Prince said Fifteen years past. Most clans were purged, shinobi were all-but a myth and the people had been lulled into their new lives. Sai ruled each major village using a clone of himself, and was working on improving his society at this point.


I may not have screamed it out at you, but it is literally stated in the description that Shinobi were no longer being trained. Others have came and asked me what the time frame is, so there is no reason you could not have. I do not feel like you are reading my setting and I don't care how much work you think you're putting into your character, it's only a fraction of the work I put into formatting this specific setting - to which it feels like you're ignoring.

You are not designing a character for Birth of a Better Generations. You are designing a character fit to the general Naruto theme, and this isn't a general Naruto roleplay. This has more elements to it that you cannot just ignore, and for that reason I am no longer allowing you to make a Jounin. I feel that you have overwhelmingly failed to meet the criteria I have repeatedly stated, use the example given in an actual approved Jounin or even follow my advice.

Additionally, why would she blame herself for the death of her brother due to learning genjutsu? That makes no sense. There are a bunch of reasons to self-blame, but you didn't even give me one. It seems like you were just attempting to add an emotional layer to the story that was simply weak.

Overall, she is not approved. Overall, I'm getting frustrated. I will not hold your hand and help you through creating a character. I will help you with any questions asked, but you haven't even made that effort. My final verdict is that you will make a genin, like everyone else, and if that is not suitable for you, you may leave.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
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@Big Sister AM: Your character seems fine, but I do have two issues. In her history, it said she took to a "sword class" at the academy. Now, the Shinobi Academies did not exist, but I believe you could squeeze by in saying she took a Kendo class at the regular Academies setup by Sai, as it would be common practice and plausible. Secondly, in her traits, I dislike the 'extent' she can sense. Stating "to the last drop" is almost like giving her Karin's ability, except she's a Genin. Just weaken it a little bit, but I'll let you use it to your advantage later. All it does it make her a sensor-nin and give her slightly better chakra control.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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Alright, let's hear your advice, maybe it hasn't quite gotten through yet?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
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My advice is to start over with a Genin around the age of 12. I am not letting you have a Jounin as you had ample opportunity to alter your character to make her suitable as well as ask me questions regarding anything you (obviously) didn't understand. I simply do not feel that you deserve to be allowed a Jounin, and even if every single roleplayer here disagreed with me, it wouldn't alter my decision. I gave you my verdict. Make a Genin; you have like seven to view as examples.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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Alright, I'm actually going to remove Okani and go with my Inuzuka character that I can mold better. You were right, she didn't belong in this RP not when Amegakure was pretty much her roots and her family, changing her like that makes her someone else entirely.

So my questions are as followed:
Is there anything specific your looking for?
Anything that is not allowed?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
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a) I'm not looking for anything so-well previously defined that it cannot adequately fit in this setting. Just because this is a Naruto theme does not mean that a Naruto-character will fit in.

b) I don't mind you using character concepts. But, understand, if I have to choose between the integrity of the setting and your character, you won't get in.

I cannot emphasize enough that this is not just a Naruto-setting. Every single revamp of your character ignored that. There was a fucking dictator that took over the entire Shinobi world, killed tens of thousands, purged most Shinobi, almost brought an end to Shinobi in general, controlled six of nine Bijuu, completely hid one of them. There are elements in this roleplay ranging from the fact that Sai wasn't entirely a terrible dictator to the fact he was the reason there are so few clans now. Every single clan is in a weakened state. Politics are weak. Trade is weak. The entire world is rebuilding and a lot of it is asking if the revolution was even worth it.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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Alright, I can work that into my character in some way.

Another question pertaining to the Inuzuka clan: you wouldn't consider the heightened senses and having a canine familiar a kekkei genkei right?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
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No, those are just traits.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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Alright thanks and umm sorry for being somewhat uncooperative with my rejected character, didn't mean to be unreasonable if I was. Thank you for the second chance.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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For her Jutsu, do you mind if I use all of them but mark the ones she does not know yet for later?

It doesn't say on the Wikia, but do the Inuzuka clan have a specific nature release?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
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1) You may.
2) No Inuzuka has been shown using a nature release and they're mostly combat oriented. I literally just made a character with only 4 non-Academy jutsu and no nature release as of now. If I can do it, you can, too. Develop one later.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by LillyDove
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Alright. Just wanted to make sure before I did anything.
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