Let's B!tch. I feel it's a healthy release for our roleplay annoyances 2.0

[ArenaSnow]

It's hard to argue with someone resistant to using logic instead of ad hominem in debate. But eh. Now I'm just bitching in a thread for bitching.

[The Elvenqueen]

NEW TOPIC, shall we?

- Finding your own old RP posts from years ago *shudders* dear lord I could cringe for months...why, teenage me. Why. I thought you understood grammar >_<

- Also, when you put more effort into designing an OCs outfit wardrobe than you do really caring about your own...there may be a bit of a problem there ^^; *sits self in dunce corner* (though it is fun to design outfits that are cool looking and that I am in no way ever going to be un-flabby enough to pull off, so I can justify that somewhat as an excuse I guess :P)

[mickilennial]

NEW TOPIC, shall we?

- Finding your own old RP posts from years ago *shudders* dear lord I could cringe for months...why, teenage me. Why. I thought you understood grammar >_<

- Also, when you put more effort into designing an OCs outfit wardrobe than you do really caring about your own...there may be a bit of a problem there ^^; *sits self in dunce corner* (though it is fun to design outfits that are cool looking and that I am in no way ever going to be un-flabby enough to pull off, so I can justify that somewhat as an excuse I guess :P)

@The Elvenqueen

I used to be able to find my posts from 2001. It was hilarious.

[BrokenPromise]

You may have your own biased opinion against group scenes but I feel them necessary as a classic DnD player. Simply put the group characters need a common location to meet and then be allowed to branch off into what they want to do depending on the character.

@vancexentan

Oh, I personally enjoy watching player interactions in big groups. I just noticed that in my roleplays, things moved the slowest during these times. I don't omit big group scenes, but I do try to make them move faster. I do things like place everyone together (when apropriate) or give the characters a reason to talk to another character, but not such a strong reason that a character can't do their own thing.

[Sugar and Spite]

Humans.

Rant over :)

[ArenaSnow]

People saying "I'm interested in one of your ideas. PM me?" on other gent's 1x1 thread.

The fuck? No. If you're interested in the person's PM thread, don't be fucking rude and post in their thread asking them to PM you. PM them. It's your bloody interest, and it takes like 3 seconds more to send a PM saying "I'm interested in _".

[SleepingSilence]

@ArenaSnow I think that would just come off as something that shows that person lacks some experience on 1x1's. Or maybe their just used to doing it like that. Different sites can program you to do odd things.

To rectify that problem, simply specify to do so in the very post. So the only confusion can come from people too lazy or stupid to read.

[ArenaSnow]

Different sites can program you to do odd things.

@SleepingSilence

Yes indeed. >.>

[mickilennial]

A good collaboration comes from initiative on both sides.

[SleepingSilence]

@ArenaSnow Actually, to go one step further just the internet itself can teach you some fairly nasty or ineffective communication habits. Because some people (who am I kidding saying at least half probably wouldn't be that big of stretch.) don't have communication outside the internet, so they don't know how to respond to others correctly. Whether being overly cautious and shy (maybe introverted) online because they expect to be bullied or mistreated like in real life for not being as proactive as society tells them to be. Hence why despite being interested in those hypothetical 1x1's, they still aren't actively seeking that interest out.

Or on the opposite end, they act completely irrational online because they don't have any healthy relationships outside. Becoming the trolls and jerk asses online because they've either gotten used to people communicating in such a matter in real life. Because I know people use the argument it's easier to be an asshole online because you don't see the person face to face, you may never meet them outside. So who cares how you come off to that person?

But I'd argue it's equally as easy to be kind on the internet. So those who can't even manage that, probably aren't normal/healthy individuals. Because sociability is much easier here than offline. So as long as you're actually extroverted, which to be fair most assholes on the internet aren't. There wouldn't be any problems. But that tends to be why the internet is filled people that don't properly communicate. Also doesn't help the shy type of introvert to see such toxicity online, because that only justifies their anti-social actions. So I'd argue my advice is actually more necessary than I may have made it seem. Because actively encouraging people to talk to you online, simply adding. "Please PM me, if you're interested." instead of merely hoping or assuming they'll know it from the start. Shows that you're less likely to bite that person's head off for merely speaking to them. And because people are so used to "Oh, just be a complete dick online, you won't ever suffer consequences of that." Those shy individuals online could use all the encouragement they can get, that talking to strangers won't lead to immediate regretful consequences.

Humans.

Rant over :)

@HaleyTheRandom

I guess this is kind of same thing, but shorter. :I

[Lady Absinthia]

People who can't drop shit even though everyone else has moved on. ><!!!

[SleepingSilence]

People who can't drop shit even though everyone else has moved on. ><!!!

@Lady Amalthea

@Lady Amalthea Doesn't sound like a roleplaying problem. Not dropping those is usually considered a good thing. :P

I guess that could also be about following trends but I'll guess not. As a social argument, that can become a problem itself.

Sure, not holding grudges is usually a good thing. So say, despite having an argument with someone, you can still the very next day or maybe within the very next breath, talk to them about a different topic. Without making it personal or assume that person is trying to act malicious, merely for having previous bouts. Sort of a "everyone has a bad day rule." I mean even friends and family fight once in a while right? And you still love and like them in some capacity, so it's beneficial for social interaction if you can still be social to complete strangers.

I know a lot of online places in particular, take 'one disagreement and I'll shut you out of my life forever occurs a lot.' Which is quite unhealthy if that's something they follow in real life. But that person, talking to you again, usually doesn't mean they secretly hate you. Only means they've actually gotten over what had happened and moved on. Ignoring someone or believing civil discussion can't take place with people you disagree with, has a numerous amount of problems.

But one still has to be careful with that argumentation, because it's possible to be abused. Similar to "this kid bullies another kid because of ____" whatever that excuse is and whether credible or not. It's just justification for something bad you've done. People in general like to justify their bad decisions, everyone does it. Also I'd argue one's that start fights tend to also use the "well I'm cool, so why can't you be?" argument, usually when lacking empathy or understanding how human emotions work.

The aggressor is already in a bad mood and needs something to take it out on. Some use themselves, some use objects or addictions. Others use others. That aggressor is now attacking the defender. The defender may be in a bad mood, or a good one. Doesn't matter. But this person probably does one of former and not the later. (aka uses anything but others to remove their bad mood.) So, while the aggressor is actually fighting to improve their state of misery. The defender is only getting negative effects of the fight. (unless their a masochist. In that case it's fantastic.) So the aggressor can much easier let go of their interaction, because it was made to ease their stress. The defender does not reap the same benefits.

Just two cents on that. :3

[mickilennial]

@Lady Amalthea



Anyway, does any fellow GM’s run discord servers? Because this is the second time I’ve noticed this particular problem that comes up. This problem is players particularly being online on discord yet not logging onto RPG itself; players who were engaged with the RPs who suddenly won't reply to private messages (on discord) or mentions to the point you cannot communicate with them anymore. Why does this happen?

I know the solution is to kick these players and move on, but I'm wondering if others have run into this issue.

[Ammokkx]

Well, I didn't realize bitchfest got locked. Guess I'll do my venting here, then:

I dislike when people, under the guise of discussion, try to draw all the attention to them and throw a pity party, especially if the issue didn't happen all that long ago. Or just hogging the attention and pity-partying overall. Fuck, someone at my school merely slipped on the staircase and came to school on the next day with crutches and stumbling, even though I could see her walking just fine without them once school was over. Similar things happen just over the internet, and it's annoying.

To loop this back around to RPing, I hate it when people make it all about them, especially in the OOC. I had to deal with a person that thought everything was about them and should revolve around them, getting prissy when it didn't and getting especially sour once I punished their behavior. But hell, you can't criticize these people. Either they demonize you, deflect it, ignore it or downright twist your words to say something you didn't.

And you know the worst part? Those people refuse to move on and let it go- lest by some miracle a year passes and they have a change of heart. But they message you for a couple of days after the fact, bugging you, or publicly ranting. And when they disguise it under the pretense of addressing and critiquing everyone they're fucking petty, and so am I for even bothering to vent about it.

[Lady Absinthia]

@Inkarnate I'm lucky in that regard. Rpers in my Rps either hit me up in our private chat (Which is not on discord.) or PM. We are all pretty open and they are really good about the communication thing. Probably one of the big reasons my rp's tend to run as long as they do. The lines of communication are open and there are multiple ways for me to contact them and them to contact me.

[ArenaSnow]

I dunno if this is bitching, but man, the edge on Page 148.

[SleepingSilence]

Well, I didn't realize bitchfest got locked. Guess I'll do my venting here, then:

I dislike when people, under the guise of discussion, try to draw all the attention to them and throw a pity party, especially if the issue didn't happen all that long ago.

But hell, you can't criticize these people. Either they demonize you, deflect it, ignore it or downright twist your words to say something you didn't.

And you know the worst part? Those people refuse to move on and let it go- lest by some miracle a year passes and they have a change of heart. But they message you for a couple of days after the fact, bugging you, or publicly ranting. And when they disguise it under the pretense of addressing and critiquing everyone they're fucking petty, and so am I for even bothering to vent about it.

@Ammokkx

There's nothing wrong with venting about problems. It's always better to let go of frustrations than to hold it in and possibly explode when you wouldn't want to. The thread was closed because of people were bullying forum members through passive aggressive actions. And people didn't want that on the forum.

When you say move on...shouldn't that mean "can be nice or civil" to someone who treated you poorly instead of acting rude to them? I mean that's how it works in real life right? Fight with a friend over something dumb, you make up and share about your days a few hours later? I've done that with my roommate and high school friend for 5-6 years in a row.

Sure, I'm fully aware what everyone is talking about. But I seriously/easily can get over something in less than a hour. Others can to. So no guise needed here.

Somebody who fought with me, asks a separate question. I can give them a separate answer without needing to pout in a corner or take shots at them from afar. Are we arguing a person can't/shouldn't do that? I guess maybe you can call that person naive for assuming that person you fought with -wants or cares- to have friendly discussion with you, but that's also not entirely one person's fault. But I don't see why you can't argue about something and in the very next breath find common ground.

If it takes a year for you to think someone can change their opinion, it really doesn't. But even if you can't change yourself completely. You can both acknowledge your mistakes and at least try to be a better person as a result. Ignoring a problem if it's still there doesn't actually magically make it disappear.

[mickilennial]

@Inkarnate I'm lucky in that regard. Rpers in my Rps either hit me up in our private chat (Which is not on discord.) or PM. We are all pretty open and they are really good about the communication thing. Probably one of the big reasons my rp's tend to run as long as they do. The lines of communication are open and there are multiple ways for me to contact them and them to contact me.

@Lady Amalthea

I moved on from skype and chatzy – I find discord a more intuitive solution. But yeah, I follow you. I just wish I knew why I run into these players who are pretty communicable to suddenly be unaware people are trying to get ahold of them. If you have no time for a RP why not inform the GMs that you’ve lost interest or availability? It’s a little bizarre.

[BrokenPromise]

@Inkarnate Some people get really anxious and don't want to tell you to your face that yes, they're leaving your RP. Sometimes they don't want the backlash (Not that most of us would), they think it saves them face, etc.

Someone (name will be withheld out of mercy) wanted me to kill of their character in my DR rp, and I could tell by how uninterested in how his character died that he wasn't really feeling it. So I was like "Uh, you were going to have another character join, are they basically replacing this one?" And holy cow, he wrote a solid paragraph of apologies and requests for forgiveness! Some people are really paranoid around the GM for whatever reason.

Anyway, I guess it depends on how tidy you want your discord to be, and how afraid you are of looking like a tyrant in front of your other discord buddies. If seeing their name doesn't bother you, I wouldn't do anything. If their presence is troublesome, or you don't feel it will make much of a fuss, I'd just remove them. They don't need to be in your group to DM you after all.

[Ammokkx]

Sure, I'm fully aware what everyone is talking about. But I seriously/easily can get over something in less than a hour. Others can to. So no guise needed here.

@SleepingSilence

I didn't realize you kept up-to-date with a year old drama from an obscure YGO RP -.o