[OOC] Shifting Worlds

[Bright_Ops]

During a recent Naruto style Rp I was in, my character came up with a poison that was only triggered when it interacted with medical chakra. If left alone it did nothing and would be filtered out of the person in time, but the moment someone tried to heal the person with chakra and it would do trigger a deadly little payload.

My character managed to get a bounty on his head for war crimes because of it.

[Syben]

As it stands, I am merely an observer. In no fashion do I speak for Kapu, therefore the final say his his, but I usually give my thoughts on the matter as a friend.

I haven't read the wyvern but I'll get around to critiqueing her sooner or later. I did skim it however and I just want to point out.

It's a terrible habit to reference the picture instead of fully explaining her power set.

It should be fully explained, no matter what.

[Antediluvixen]

Aeonumbra said
As it stands, I am merely an observer. In no fashion do I speak for Kapu, therefore the final say his his, but I usually give my thoughts on the matter as a friend.I haven't read the wyvern but I'll get around to critiqueing her sooner or later. I did skim it however and I just want to point out.It's a terrible habit to reference the picture instead of fully explaining her power set.It should be fully explained, no matter what.

Fine, be logical and rational, person.
Yeah, I screwed up, I'll get to fixing it in a bit.

[Syben]

Logical and Rational are the names of my family jewels. :P

[kapuchu]

*whistles* That was a whole lot of new characters suddenly o_o I'll get to it immediately.

[EldritchOne]

Well you were waving your hoo-ha on In Nomine, so I figure that's part of the reason.

Regardless, I await your moddy demands.

[kapuchu]

I was not waving it xD We were low on players so I thought that maybe one of you guys might be interested. I didn't expect two or three people to jump at it xP

[kapuchu]

Alright, Eldritch!

Alright, first of: I have no problems with the size. I always viewed a Gorgon as being pretty big. Their upper torso would still be human sized (I'm talking about the typical Gorgon myth here, not a correction to your character) so having the Snake tail be as long as it is, is to be expected. He's a lumbering giant even as a human, so being the size he is when Shifted is alright.

Now... There's the matter of his powers. I feel like his Gaze is too powerful. He is, literally, a "Look into my eyes and-ohyou'redead" character. The second he gets eye contact with you, you can't do anything to survive. I feel like it should be possible to break his gaze, but it would take a significant amount of willpower. You could keep the pain the gaze courses (if lower it a bit so as to not make it torture levels of pain) to even it up a little. Willpower is difficult to muster when you're in pain. Note that only humans (or really, really big animals) would be able to break from his gaze. A dog or a monkey, or even a small child would be helpless. In his Full Gorgon Shift, I feel like it goes from 9 to 11. Not only is it instant paralysis/freeze, but it's also torture-levels of pain that would knock out a grown man (You didn't describe it as such, but that's what it sounds like).

As for his venom, while I understand that it can be both deadly and should paralyze its victims, I feel like it's a bit too much that he an also breathe it. As if being a hulking behemoth that can barely be harmed by any physical attacks save blunt force wasn't enough, he can also blow at you like he would a candle and watch you die. And if you hold you breath, then he can just poke your arm with one of his teeth and watch you die as well. And even if that doesn't work, then he'll crush you.

I get that he's large and has a ton of muscle (like any snake would), but he just has way too much in terms of raw power. As it is, if he wants to kill someone there's absolutely nothing they can do save gouge out his eyes before he even Shifts. There's no way to survive if he wants to kill you, as he just looks at you and you're doomed. You need to tune that down quite a bit before it's at a point where he can actually be fought. Every Shifter has strengths and weaknesses. Gregory has raw power and durability, but his attacks aren't the fastest in the world, and could be avoided if you're quick or smart enough. Lily is quick and difficult to hit, but she is still just a normal human when it comes to her physical attributes. She's trained and can run for a long time, but even then she has to rely on her magic to avoid taking any hits: She's fragile compared to the rest of you.

Liza has the range and is capable of moving in three dimensions, but she's somewhat fragile as well and isn't really the most combat focused from what I can see. And then there's your guy: Penetrative weapons are useless. Blunt weapons somewhat useful. Physically strong. Fairly quick even if fully Shifted. Instant paralysis gaze with incredible pain. Deadly venom with no cure (almost). Enough physical strength to crush a human's body... He just has no weaknesses. Yeah, Lily could run circles around him if he's fully shifted, but how much is that worth if he can just look at her and then it's over?

You need to tune it down to a level where he has some obvious weaknesses, or at least give whoever he's up against a fighting chance. Specifically, there should be a way to cure the venom that isn't just his blood or magic healing. Just one more way that there is access to, as well as make it possible to wound him. With how tough his scales are now he's more or less impervious to most physical attacks. Otherwise you could kill off any one of our characters if you so desire, and that's not the point of this.

You mention that he knows three languages, and while Japanese and English are sort of a given (grew up in Japan, and English is also used in Japan and in most of the rest of the world) I would also like to know how and where he was taught German. I don't think you wrote anything about it in the Background.

The last thing that I have a bit of a problem with is this part:

Hiring a number of shifters

Where exactly did he find those Shifters? Yeah, he might find one or two in the underground world, but there aren't very many, so finding a handful of them in just one city is incredibly difficult. Furthermore, people such as them would likely do everything they could to hide, and many were recruited into the Army. Either flesh it out and give us some more details as to how he found several other shifters (most of which would probably come from out of town, or even out of the country. Perhaps bribing the corrupt one(s) from the military?) or reduce it to one or two, please.

Aside from that, I think he's an interesting character. I'll admit, when I read it initially all I could think of was "Great... a guy who wants to rule all of us. Woo!" But then I read what his personality was and I kinda got to like him.

[kapuchu]

Aand Your turn, Monochromatic!

The first thing that stuck out to me was the thing you wrote about her having extensive knowledge of Krav Maga and the likes. How, when? It's not mentioned even once in your background that she practised martial arts of any kinds. It might have been insinuated, but it certainly wasn't written in there. You need to add that, and a bit more than just a "she also trained Krav Maga", please. Just throwing in a line like that feels cheap.

Then there's her ability to get claws as a Human... While I did say that you do have some magic while being in your Human Form, getting claws counts as Shifting. I can't really come up with an alternative for what she might have since you have written nothing about what powers she has in her full Wyvern form. So yes, please write that as well. If it isn't written there, then you don't have the ability. Just like Gregory, even if he was still an earth elemental, wouldn't be able to move the tiniest piece of rock if he hadn't written it. Writing the character sheet is like creating the person. It is actually creating the person. If you don't jot down what they can do, then they can't do it. The only compromise I can think of for her Human Magic might be that she can't really get cold because she's capable of producing a small fire inside her to warm her up (a pre-runner to her Fire Breath, or sorts). She's not really a magical kind of creature, but more someone focused around physical prowess, so I don't know exactly what/how much magic she'd have as a Human.

I think the last thing that strikes me as off is when she woke up as a half-wyvern with a puddle of melted metal on the floor. Alright, her flames are hit, I'll give you that, but it isn't hot enough to just melt metal, let alone something as tough as aluminium. Maybe wake up and find her bed on fire, or just wake up to find herself wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings?

Oh, and I almost forgot: Her scales can't stop a bullet. Just no. They might be tough and offer a lot of protection, but being able to stop a bullet is far too much. It might not go as deep, but it won't be able to stop it. A normal run-of-the-mill fist, however, won't really hurt.

There's also this tiny bit:

When she turned sixteen, she began to work in her father’s business. It wasn’t anything a regular person might’ve given a thirteen year girl,

It's really just a typo, but I thought you might want to know.

[Antediluvixen]

kapuchu said
I think the last thing that strikes me as off is when she woke up as a half-wyvern with a puddle of melted metal on the floor. Alright, her flames are hit, I'll give you that, but it isn't hot enough to just melt metal, let alone something as tough as aluminium.

While I fully concede the point on everything else (sometimes, I hate my brain for forgetting everything), I feel a need to point out that aluminum actually isn't that hard to melt. Some people have molten aluminum by just burning wood and using a fan to add airflow. I've done so with just a blowtorch. So she'd be able to melt a soda can.
Nonetheless, if you feel I do need to change it, I will.

[EldritchOne]

"I feel like it should be possible to break his gaze, but it would take a significant amount of willpower. You could keep the pain the gaze courses (if lower it a bit so as to not make it torture levels of pain) to even it up a little."

-the reason its at that level is partly because I fully expect people just to ignore it, because that's such a frequent event in personal RP's for people just to bugger around with the less physical forms of magic/power. If I offer that possibility then EVERYONE will take it, and the power becomes utterly useless in all forms and essentially becomes a non-entity because nobody bothers to acknowledge the effects of it. unless you're happy being an observer of fights and enforcing the idea that it takes more than "Mah dood has eenar stranth" to get out of it, I ain't going to shift on that one. a final point that his gaze requires the other to look at his eyes in order for it to actually work, just avert your eyes from his face should work, and given that he is pretty god damn massive in his second there are plenty of other thing to look at. Also his gaze doesn't work over long distances or less than a second glances because he can't actually make eye contact, so whats to stop you just firebombing him from afar? or hell, just put an arrow in his neck? Alternately, don't be a doofus and tag team him, his eyes only work on one person at a time after all.

-fair enough on the second point with the vemon breath, I will remove it, although I thought it'd be nice regardless.

"there should be a way to cure the venom that isn't just his blood or magic healing. Just one more way that there is access to."

-fine by me, you can invent one if you want given we are in some sort of fantasy setting, but I'd prefer it not to be some form of common as hell magic carrot, make the journey at least interesting for the character- epic quests should be epic- and as Chrome said "deadly neurotoxin should be deadly". Arguably you could create some sort of holy healing spring to deal with it, thats pretty common in mythology. Frankly his poison is actually not as terrible as some out there, like the taiping inland snake with a 80% death rate within half an hour and enough poison in one bite to kill a hundred men, nature is freaky like that.

-As for the armoured scales, once again I point to the fact that he has numerous weak spots and that projectiles and piercing weapons do actually work in place -such as neck, head, eye, underarm, underbelly, and that bludgeoning weapons are going to hurt like hell even with the heavy armour -as in make them cave in, a bit like smashing someones toenails, hell you could even lift up one of the scales and stab soft flesh beneath with something.

I want this to be a character that actually requires some strategy to fight, it'd actually make battles much more interesting, but I am happy to give an example here of how even your foxy gal could win against him despite being "fragile". You say she can create illusions, so why doesn't she just make numerous mimics of herself to run around and confuse the hell out of him? suddenly he can't tell reality from fiction and she decides to strike whilst he is facing the other way jumps up his coily back taking him by surprise and stabs something pointy in his jugular. Big snake dood finished, end of.

-as for the background bit, I'll change it to one or two, and hired from the underground.

[Antediluvixen]

EldritchOne said
"I feel like it should be possible to break his gaze, but it would take a significant amount of willpower. You could keep the pain the gaze courses (if lower it a bit so as to not make it torture levels of pain) to even it up a little."-the reason its at that level is partly because I fully expect people just to ignore it, because that's such a frequent event in personal RP's for people just to bugger around with the less physical forms of magic/power. If I offer that possibility then EVERYONE will take it, and the power becomes utterly useless in all forms and essentially becomes a non-entity because nobody bothers to acknowledge the effects of it. unless you're happy being an observer of fights and enforcing the idea that it takes more than "Mah dood has eenar stranth" to get out of it, I ain't going to shift on that one. a final point that his gaze requires the other to look at his eyes in order for it to actually work, just avert your eyes from his face should work, and given that he is pretty god damn massive in his second there are plenty of other thing to look at. Also his gaze doesn't work over long distances or less than a second glances because he can't actually make eye contact, so whats to stop you just firebombing him from afar? or hell, just put an arrow in his neck? Alternately, don't be a doofus and tag team him, his eyes only work on one person at a time after all.

Can I suggest perhaps having it be so that it begins with a paralysis of sorts, and working it's way to petrification, rather than full on immediate "You're a statue now!"
And maybe as a way to break it, a combo of strong willpower and one or two people needed to rouse one from it?

That or I read that totally wrong and am spouting nonsense, sorry.

[EldritchOne]

Monochromatic Rainbow said
Can I suggest perhaps having it be so that it begins with a paralysis of sorts, and working it's way to petrification, rather than full on immediate "You're a statue now!"And maybe as a way to break it, a combo of strong willpower one or two people needed to rouse one from it? That or I read that totally wrong and am spouting nonsense, sorry.

Well he can't turn you into stone, but I guess I might be able to work with the idea that it takes a few seconds to kick in, in which case the opponent has a chance to move a bit before going completely rigid. Once again that'll need to be enforced however, as it runs into the same problems as the willpower principle.

[Antediluvixen]

EldritchOne said
Well he can't turn you into stone, but I guess I might be able to work with the idea that it takes a few seconds to kick in, in which case the opponent has a chance to move a bit before going completely rigid. Once again that'll need to be enforced however, as it runs into the same problems as the willpower principle.

Yep, I'd almost suggest a dice roll, but I generally abhor such things.
And sorry, I saw "Gorgon" and my first thought was- He turns people to stone!

[kapuchu]

Monochromatic Rainbow said
While I fully concede the point on everything else (sometimes, I hate my brain for forgetting everything), I feel a need to point out that aluminum actually isn't that hard to melt. Some people have molten aluminum by just burning wood and using a fan to add airflow. I've done so with just a blowtorch. So she'd be able to melt a soda can.Nonetheless, if you feel I do need to change it, I will.

Aluminium's melting point is 680 degrees celcius. 1220 Fahrenheit if you use that. It's just insanely hot, and far more than should realistically be possibly at that point in time. You're just a new Shifter and your powers aren't all that strong yet. Melting metal is just a bit too much so early on. After two years of training it/getting stronger, then perhaps. But the first time she shifts it won't be possible. I'm not saying you absolutely can't have it, but just that she's not capable of making fire that hot so early on.

Eldritch - Your gaze.
I was under the assumption that the moment you look into his eyes, you're pretty much a statue. So averting your eyes wouldn't really be possible (unless you go with the "can still move eyes" thing which seems to be very common when people are paralyzed in movies, books, etc). And I read every post that is written in an RP I'm in, regardless of whether or not my character is actually present. So I will be the side-line guy that can call it out if someone does make that "Mah dood has eenar stranth" comment. I just feel like it's a bit too much that his gaze is utterly inescapable, which is why I request a way to break it. Also, I should clarify, what I mean by "break it" is muster the willpower to look away and break eyecontact, not just look in his eyes and be completely unaffected. Sorry if it sounded like that.

Cure for the venom - I was thinking some sort of plant or whatnot from the surrounding area. Pretty rare, but there nonetheless. The trial would be to actually find it, and even get to know what the hell it does as it's a plants that isn't on Earth... Plant. Herb. Potatoe Potatoe <.< You get the idea. I don't intend for it to be something that is readily available, as I understand you wanting to have your guy still be a threat. Same way that I would be kinda irritated if someone said that wearing a tinfoil hat would make them immune to Lily's illusions. And yeah, it can still be a deadly neurotoxin, but no instant death thingie. I do kinda want people to survive and not just have all our characters die off one by one. So it would take some time before they die. I hope that's okay with you?

You make a valid point in regards to his scales. I was/still am just a bit worried because it sounded like he was pretty much covered in steel-like plates that would make a sword bounce off of him like a plastic knife. But if he can still be hurt by physical weapons, then I see no problem in letting it stay as it is.

On a final note: I'd like for you to clarify just how severe his gaze is when it comes to paralysis. Is it every muscle in the body freezing up, or are they still capable of moving some parts of their body. Eyes, perhaps? You made it sound like it is possible to just look away, so depending on whether or not you see that as possibly sorta decides if you should still make it possible to break it & look away by sheer willpower.

[EldritchOne]

Monochromatic Rainbow said
Yep, I'd almost suggest a dice roll, but I generally abhor such things.And sorry, I saw "Gorgon" and my first thought was- He turns people to stone!

S'fine, he was going to but Kappy was all like "nopes, I like the Gorgon idea, no stonegaze/touch", so I figured a way around it with the paralytic gaze and the fact that corpses turn into pseudo-statues.

[EldritchOne]

"I was under the assumption that the moment you look into his eyes, you're pretty much a statue. So averting your eyes wouldn't really be possible (unless you go with the "can still move eyes" thing which seems to be very common when people are paralyzed in movies, books, etc). And I read every post that is written in an RP I'm in, regardless of whether or not my character is actually present. So I will be the side-line guy that can call it out if someone does make that "Mah dood has eenar stranth" comment. I just feel like it's a bit too much that his gaze is utterly inescapable, which is why I request a way to break it. Also, I should clarify, what I mean by "break it" is muster the willpower to look away and break eyecontact, not just look in his eyes and be completely unaffected. Sorry if it sounded like that. "

perhaps its my fault, I wrote it late at night I think my clarity may have faded a little as I got more tired. Anyway lets see if I can measure this out with some points, and I am considering taking on Chrome's point on the gradual paralyzing feature.
-The gaze cannot effect other from far off distances and require consistent eye contact between the two forces
-Limited movement is capable of being done for a few seconds into the gaze, but the longer it goes on the more the body becomes rigid, lets say 5 seconds until complete immobility. during this time your legs and arms feel unnaturally heavy and it requires considerable strength to move them.
-Aversion of gaze: so long as you look away immediately upon connecting with his gaze you will be able escape it, longer than that and you fall into the above situation. The gaze does not work on reflective items, nor does it work if you are moving at such a speed as to make perfect eye contact impossible.
-Aversion point two: Whilst the opponent is in pain whilst looking into the eyes there is an allure to them that makes the body want to look deeper, if the opponent can overcome the allure and the pain he can avert the gaze with only residual pain from the gaze effecting him.
-Pain levels differ in terms of the form, the first form feels like buckets of ice has been thrown over you repeatedly, mixed with intensive heartburn and headaches. Upon aversion of the eyes the feeling dissipates, but the awful headache will continue for several minutes afterwards, disorientating the person.
-Level two is much more intensive pain, and the aversion of the gaze is much harder to achieve but still possible for particularly powerful characters (Dragon Lady and the Windigo for instance could probably get out of it through sheer stubborn willpower, but it'd still hurt like a bitch), in this state the pain is comparable to be being on fire and with blades stuck into all your muscles.
-The gaze requires intensive concentration, any distraction which might avert Akira from his gaze will let the character go - say like a fireball/explosion/someone shooting him with an arrow. Once utilizing the gaze he is mostly unable to shift it without freeing the character, leaving him open to attack from multiple opponents.
-The eyes of the afflicted can still move about to a limited degree several seconds into the gaze, but much like a dancing cobra to the tune of a snake charmer, he will sway back and forth with them to keep them in his gaze.

"Cure for the venom - I was thinking some sort of plant or whatnot from the surrounding area. Pretty rare, but there nonetheless. The trial would be to actually find it, and even get to know what the hell it does as it's a plants that isn't on Earth... Plant. Herb. Potatoe Potatoe <.< You get the idea. I don't intend for it to be something that is readily available, as I understand you wanting to have your guy still be a threat. Same way that I would be kinda irritated if someone said that wearing a tinfoil hat would make them immune to Lily's illusions. And yeah, it can still be a deadly neurotoxin, but no instant death thingie. I do kinda want people to survive and not just have all our characters die off one by one. So it would take some time before they die. I hope that's okay with you?"

-Fair enough, I did offer the alternative which would be to bleed the afflicted person anemic to remove the poison from their system, leaving them quite weakened from the encounter, but if you want to stick a big ole rare plant on some dragon haunted mountaintop I am game for that too. I am happy to reduce the killing speed to hours/days, dependent on the characters raw stubbornness to live.

[Antediluvixen]

kapuchu said
Aluminium's melting point is 680 degrees celcius. 1220 Fahrenheit if you use that. It's just insanely hot, and far more than should realistically be possibly at that point in time. You're just a new Shifter and your powers aren't all that strong yet. Melting metal is just a bit too much so early on. After two years of training it/getting stronger, then perhaps. But the first time she shifts it won't be possible. I'm not saying you absolutely can't have it, but just that she's not capable of making fire that hot so early on.

Alright, I think I've fixed it to correspond with what you said to fix, how's it look now?

[kapuchu]

Not quite that kind of rare plant, but yeah... something along those lines.

Also, thanks for that list. Helps clear up a lot of things. Can you throw it into your character sheet, but perhaps shorten it a bit? And if you can then just copy paste it. There are, however, one thing. Would it be possibly to turn down the pain level for his Gorgon Gaze V2? Sword stabs and being on fire are bit much from simply looking them in the eyes. I'd suggest something like putting your hand on the stove. Similar levels, but not quite the same - it would still hurt like freaking hell.

(Dragon Lady and the Windigo for instance could probably get out of it through sheer stubborn willpower, but it'd still hurt like a bitch),

The size of a creature does not equal willpower. That's up to the individual. Lily's strongest point is illusions: The mind, so to speak. I believe that she and Gregory, perhaps our Phoenix might be the Top 3 when it comes to Willpower, simply because of what they do. Gregory controls immense amounts of rock, and the sheer power that requires would have strengthened his mind a lot. Fire is insanely difficult to control, so that's pretty much the same. Lily doesn't have so much to control, but she does directly affect another person's mind. She might be the last of those 3 when it comes to sheer willpower, with Gregory as #1 and Anita as #2.

[kapuchu]

Monochromatic Rainbow said
Alright, I think I've fixed it to correspond with what you said to fix, how's it look now?

I'm going to make some dinner and get something to eat. I'll give it a look after that.