Corrupt A Wish

[Keyguyperson]

So I saw that Spam had no Corrupt A Wish game. Clearly a major oversight of some sort. Anyway's, I've come to rectify that glaring issue.

Corrupt A Wish is exactly what it sounds like. Someone wishes for something, and you twist that wish into the most horrifying thing ever. Then you wish for something. You can't just say "Not granted" or "Granted whatever here's my wish", because that's just lazy and doesn't make anyone laugh. Now, an example:

Person A: I wish for infinite food.

Person B: Granted. You are now covered in MREs.

Please be more ridiculous than that, otherwise the game isn't any fun. Now, let's start!

I wish for a bagel.

[BrobyDDark]

Wish granted. The bagel is actually Yidhra, the Elder God known as the Dream Witch, and as you prepare to bite into her doughy, bagel-y form, she plots. Once you bite her, the bite mark turns into a gaping maw with a ceaseless hunger and an undesirable thirst for human blood. She eats you whole, while still in her bagel form. As she digests you, she begins to take on your characteristics. She effectively becomes you. Where someone might ask "What happened to Keyguyperson? Is he still alive?" the other one will respond "But he's right there."

I want a stick of gum.

[ActRaiserTheReturned]

@BrobyDDark

Granted. It's clogging that important internal area between your nuts and penis.

I wish I had the mind of Solomon.

[BrobyDDark]

Granted. Now you have the brain of Solomon which has, unfortunately, rotted because of his death.

I wish I had blue flavored.

[Keyguyperson]

Granted. Since you never specified what you wanted to be blue flavored, you yourself all now blue flavored. Everyone is trying to eat you in an attempt to find out what blue tastes like.

I wish that I had more time for writing.

[RomanAria]

(Meh I should be working on my Stardust post, or, heaven forbid, my English paper that's due tomorrow, not on random forum games. Still...)
Granted. Time stops eternally, giving you as long as you want to write. However, the rest of the world will never see your writing, much less be able to reply to it, because they are eternally frozen with the cessation of time.
I wish that people on the internet were as considerate as they are IRL.

[BrobyDDark]

(Meh I should be working on my Stardust post, or, heaven forbid, my English paper that's due tomorrow, not on random forum games. Still...)
Granted. Time stops eternally, giving you as long as you want to write. However, the rest of the world will never see your writing, much less be able to reply to it, because they are eternally frozen with the cessation of time.
I wish that people on the internet were as considerate as they are IRL.

@RomanAria

How did you screw up so much you went from the roleplay section to Spam with this post?

[RomanAria]

(What part of "I am procrastinating on my English paper and on everything that matters and so I will do anything that I do not have to think about until I am sufficiently disgusted with myself to force myself to return to my papers." do you not understand? @BrobyDDark (Oh lol I forgot the brackets. Whoopsie))

[BrobyDDark]

Oh, didn't see that, sorry. Why are you typing in brackets, anyways?

Oh, and granted. Now everyone is as nosy and protective as a parent. No more porn, video games, or roleplaying because it attracts creeps.

[Keyguyperson]

I wish that Broby had wished for something.

[RomanAria]

Brackets on the tag. I had just "atusername" instead of "[atusername]" and it wouldn't tag you. XD
Agh keyguy don't ninja me.
Granted. Due to the somewhat paradoxical, entirely unfulfillable nature of this request, it shuts down the entire Internet.
I wish that this English paper would just spring fully-formed from my head.

[Keyguyperson]

Granted. It's an absolutely terrible paper and you fail the class.

I wish I had actual work ethic.

[BrobyDDark]

Granted. Your work ethic is to be as lazy as possible.

I wish I wasn't a lazy asshole.

[RomanAria]

Granted. The world becomes nothingness as your wish request indicates.

I wish that Broby would actually remember to write his own wishes.

[BrobyDDark]

Granted, the time demons went back and forcefully inserted themselves into my mind so I would remember my wishes.

I wish the color blue never existed.

[Keyguyperson]

Granted. All of the universe is unraveled and no form of life was ever created due to the implications of blue being impossible.

I wish that aliens would go ahead and invade already. Getting bored over here.

[RomanAria]

Wish granted. The aliens invade and as a sacrifice to Libra, the goddess of desks and thus technology, they vivisect you.
I wish that my clarinet reeds would quit breaking so often.

[idlehands]

Stock up on lube, they like their anal probes. *ninja*

Goes for you too, lube up that reed. It won't break.

I wish some people would learn to use PMs.

[The Nexerus]

Granted. They use this new ability to spam you with pictures of naked Hitler.

[BrobyDDark]

Granted, Nex. Now everyone will send you Hitler nudes.

I wish for some icecream.