Corrupt A Wish

[Keyguyperson]

Granted. It's Hitler Nudes flavored.

I wish that "Hitler Nudes" will become a massively popular meme.

[BrobyDDark]

Granted. Did you see those Hitler Nudes? L O L

I wish the world was made of popcorn.

[RomanAria]

Granted. The earth is sucked into the sun in a massive fireball due to it's suddenly tiny mass.
I wish that clouds were made of cotton candy.

[Keyguyperson]

The popcorn hardens under the pressure of its own gravity. The planet is now a sea of popcorn atop a layer of compressed popcorn.

I wish that all of the internet would come to this thread.

[RomanAria]

Granted. The server crashes due to being unable to handle so many people.

I wish that Sven and Kristoff had never made me question my worth with the song "Reindeers are better than people."

[Keyguyperson]

Granted. The song no longer exists, and I never got to listen to it. As a result, I never watch the movie because that song's awesomeness made me watch it. I spiral into depression, and eventually attempt suicide. But I fail. I am permanently paralyzed, forced to live out my life as a significantly less awesome version of Stephen Hawking.

I wish that I was an equally awesome version of Stephen Hawking.

[Cerberov]

Granted. You have become an equally awesome version of Stephen Hawking.

It is then that an earth-shattering revelation is discovered in the world of physics, and you are incapable of accruing any fame due to your career revolving around concepts that are newly outdated. You play catch-up in obscurity, as many other physicists have done and still do today.

I wish magic was real, and that I had magical powers.

[BrobyDDark]

Granted. Your magical power is to constantly climax.

I wish constant climaxing was a disease. It'd be funny.

[Keyguyperson]

Granted. It is highly infectious, and all of humanity dies off because nobody can get anything done.

I wish I had a superpower that let me type really fast.

[BrokenVeil]

Granted. It is highly infectious, and all of humanity dies off because nobody can get anything done.

I wish I had a superpower that let me type really fast.

@Keyguyperson

Wish granted. You type really fast. Due to your fast typing you wear out your keyboard extremely fast and have to buy one every month. When you use a touch screen to type you crack the screen. Not only that, but your finger tips lose their sensitivity from all of the typing.
I wish I could eat chocolate without vomiting.

[Keyguyperson]

Granted. You now have explosive diarrhea every time you vomit.

I wish I wasn't so happy about spelling "diarrhea" right without spellcheck, because that's just sad.

[BrobyDDark]

Granted. You can no longer get happy. You'll become a horribly depressed mess and end up almost committing suicide before you remember that magical moment when you spell diarrhea without spellcheck. Then you live happily ever after.

I wish I had a fish in a dish.

[Cerberov]

Granted. The fish in the dish is fugu.

I want to have a giant fighting robot.

[Antarctic Termite]

Granted. It's a large wind-driven weather balloon that uses an internal computer to take grainy reconnaissance photos. Unless you have some means of recovering the balloon months later when it finally deflates, it's single-use.

I wish for the cold, comforting release of death.

[AlteredTundra]

Granted. It will now try to kill you and your entire family.

EDIT: Granted, but it will be slow...very slow.

I wish for something.

[Keyguyperson]

You find the cold embrace of death.

I wish for a cinnamon roll.

[AlteredTundra]

Granted, but it's actually a cumin roll.

I wish for peace on earth.

[Cerberov]

Granted. Everyone is now in a coma, so there is no more fighting.

I wish to be good-looking and talented.

[AlteredTundra]

Granted, but people think you're superficial, so you lose all of your friends and are exiled from any charitable functions you belonged to.

I wish to be rich and wealthy.

[BrokenVeil]

Granted. You are rich and wealthy, but now you are hopelessly bored and even the most fantastic things fail to impress you.
I wish for a lampshade.