@Lugubrious OOC will be fine, unless there are any secrets you don't want everyone else to know *looks around conspiratorially*
I'm just interested in knowing if they are an 'Order', which would otherwise require Might (but I think it is safe to say that, due to that terrific post, I'll let it pass in a restricted form - restricted to the village it is in and twenty or so members. If you want it to grow, you'll have to spend Might in future)
As the Liaison already wields the kind of Wi being taught, I don't there is an issue there.
Last thing - the temple is not (at least now) a holy site is it? Because that DOES require Might otherwise the game mechanism managing how they work breaks.
Spelling and Grammar: 9/20 (few typos here and there, but brilliant on the whole)
Writing Quality: 10/10 (The definition of gripping. Loved it)
Story Line Advancement: 10/10 (This new 'Order' of sorts and the new Wi humans know will change the Fate of Mankind forever! What's more, you've just inadvertently set humans on the path to more advanced architecture xD let there be stone houses and walls)
Character Development: 10/10 (For an Outsider, your character has really grown close to humans. His ability to understand his own weaknesses and limitations and calling out to his god. Surrounded by his new Order, I think he will only grow as a character. You've put him in an interesting position, perhaps the fame of this temple will grow so much that it will attract other Heroes...coughIalucough)
Independence: 10/10 (You've seized on what others have posted and progressed beautifully)
15 Khookies
I'm just interested in knowing if they are an 'Order', which would otherwise require Might (but I think it is safe to say that, due to that terrific post, I'll let it pass in a restricted form - restricted to the village it is in and twenty or so members. If you want it to grow, you'll have to spend Might in future)
As the Liaison already wields the kind of Wi being taught, I don't there is an issue there.
Last thing - the temple is not (at least now) a holy site is it? Because that DOES require Might otherwise the game mechanism managing how they work breaks.
Spelling and Grammar: 9/20 (few typos here and there, but brilliant on the whole)
Writing Quality: 10/10 (The definition of gripping. Loved it)
Story Line Advancement: 10/10 (This new 'Order' of sorts and the new Wi humans know will change the Fate of Mankind forever! What's more, you've just inadvertently set humans on the path to more advanced architecture xD let there be stone houses and walls)
Character Development: 10/10 (For an Outsider, your character has really grown close to humans. His ability to understand his own weaknesses and limitations and calling out to his god. Surrounded by his new Order, I think he will only grow as a character. You've put him in an interesting position, perhaps the fame of this temple will grow so much that it will attract other Heroes...coughIalucough)
Independence: 10/10 (You've seized on what others have posted and progressed beautifully)
15 Khookies
but then again Ialu does look pretty ordinary. And probably looked dead. In any case, I was saying it from his perspective rather than as a general statement