DeathstrokeSW said
Name: Kenny (no other name known.)Appearance: a Soul Reaper uniform with most of the chest exposed, short-cropped hair and a black hood with a mask covering everything from nose to collarbone.Age: (Keep it sensible! Think of it like this. 10 Shinigami years equal 1 of our years so a 19 year old would be 190. Just what we go by) 240Height: 6’3Weight: 265Hair Colour: BlackEye Colour: GreenRace: CaucasianRank: Unseated, but I hope to rise to captain. Spiritual Energy Colour: BlackPersonality: (Would like to be done but can be done later)History: (Would like to be done but can be done later)Other: ~Zanpakuto~Zanpakuto name: SankontessuoType: CombatZanpakuto Shikai Release command: ReapSpirit Appearance: like the grim reaperInner world: (optional)Sealed appearance: Ninjato with a black wrapped hiltShikai appearance: a scythe with a red bladeBankai appearance: sickle with a black bladeShikai skills:(Start off with no Shikai or 4 to 5 Shikai skills)1. Fear inducement(minor, but all it does is the equivalent of an increased heartrate)2.a slash similar to a getsuga tensho in function.3. Increased speed4. Darkness generation similar to what Tosen was able to do but without the sensory deprivation, rather, it simply forces the battlefield to shrink to a more intimate level5.6.7.8.Bankai skills:1. Fear inducement similar to Shikai2. Darkness generation becomes sensory deprivation excluding hearing3. Increased speed4.increased strength5. A getsuga tensho like slash6. (Ultimate Skill) steal life from the opponent like reaping a soul but at the cost of the user's life.Non-lethal Zanpakuto Skills: instigates fear.SkillsZanjutsu: ShitonegashiKido:Tsuzuri RaidenHakuda:TesshōHoho:ShunpoPoints gained from missions:Mission log:Points spent and skills gained:
Well overall, I think you should write allot more.....But here's some things to help:
1. Race = Shinigami.
2. Add descriptions for your abilities, as well add post durations and cool downs.
Now onto the actual abilities:
Fear inducement - You said minor, so that states how much fear is given....But does the fear actually do anything besides give fear? Are there any after effects or...???
a slash similar to a getsuga tensho in function - That makes sense, I just think you could write it better (As you could write the whole CS better) and add a post duration and cool down.
Increased speed - How much?
Darkness generation similar to what Tosen was able to do but without the sensory deprivation, rather, it simply forces the battlefield to shrink to a more intimate level - I think forcing an area to become smaller would be too much, rather just make it an illusion type ability or something?
Same for the Bankai abilities pretty much. How much faster and stronger? Etc.
Also the last Bankai ability is probably too much, no matter that it's an ultimate skill.
Overall you just need to add more to it and/or write it better than what's up there. Adding a personality would help too, just saying.
