From Otaku to Weeaboo — Humorous Anime Synopsis Thread

[AlteredTundra]

Modeled after @tsukune's From Oscar to Raspberry — Humorous Movie Synopsis Thread, this one will be the Anime variety.

So that no one is confused on it, I will copy paste the rules that tsukune did for the original.

Here's how it works:
1. Choose any well-known movie - either individual titles or as a collective series
2. Write a summary - just a short one of 1 to 2 sentences will suffice
3. The catch? The synopsis has to be in such way that it makes the movie sound (utterly) worthless

TL;DR:
= Refrain from using profanities as much as possible. You don't need to resort to lame curses to be humorous.
= Seriously, no essay rants. No one is going to bother reading that and it's not even remotely funny
= To anyone who may be fans of the movies mentioned in this thread, this is purely for entertainment and no bashing is intended. Don't like what you see here? Then don't even come in here in the first place.
= Recurrence of titles that have already been done is allowed, but please don't plagiarize other people's summaries.

@tsukune

Just replace anything to do with film/movie with anime and that's how you do it.

Hopefully we get some humorous ones. :D

[Mag Lev]

Dragon Ball Z- Ten episodes of grunt and yelling, one of fighting.
Hunter x Hunter- Little kid has daddy issues so goes and becomes the same profession as daddy.
Food Wars- Food Porn...almost literally..
Dai-Shogun: Great Revolution- Virgin male must stay a virgin to pilot a giant mech with a female virgin to save sort-of-feudal Japan.

[AlteredTundra]

Bleach - Contrary to its name sake, it is not about a cleaning product.

Yu-Yu Hakusho - Oh look, I can shoot pretty things out of my finger that go boom.

[Jotunn Draugr]

One Punch Man - A superhero anime, without any suspense or challenge.

Naruto - A fighting show, where all the fighting is replaced with black smudges shooting across the screen.

Gundam - Chicks Dig Giant Robots

Eureka Seven - Chick Digs Giant Robots

Fight Ippatsu Juuden Chan - Japanese porn, but without the sex.

Ladies vs. Butlers - More porn, with even less sex.

[tsukune]

Rokka no Yuusha - When Dumbass Sherlock aka "World's Strongest Man" meets crazy bitch princess in a fantasy mystery where we all already know who the culprit is since the very first episode.

No Game No Life - The title says it all.

Mahou Sensei Negima! - Shotacon is legal. 'Nuff said.

Shinmai Maou no Testament - Giving a harem paradise-level massage sessions have never been so bootylicious.

Shakugan no Shana - Urusai! Urusai! URUSAI!!! (lit. "Shut up!" x 3)

Date A Live - When you go out with (a harem of) walking nuclear bombs.

[JDolan]

Rouroni Kenshin - Feudal Japan with sword-whips, because that's the only thing I remember about it.

[AlteredTundra]

Fairy Tail - *in the tune of The Lion Sleeps from Lion King*
In Magnoila — mighty Magnolia
Fan service is abound
In Magnoila — mighty Magnolia
Power of Feelings are around.
ooooo-weeeee-ooooo-weeee-oooo-Natsu-oeeeeeeee

[NuttsnBolts]

Steins;Gate: 24 episodes about a broken household appliance that can't cook even a banana properly.

@tsukune
Rokka no Yuusha - When Dumbass Sherlock aka "World's Strongest Man" meets queen of the emos.

[AlteredTundra]

Kill La Kill -
When fan service and Sailor Moon decide to have a vulgar love child.

Sailor Moon -
When the planets decided to become teenaged and young adult girls.

Death Note -
When killing wasn't easy enough, now you can simply write a person's name down in a book while you enjoy a Lays Potato Chip.

Inu-Yasha -
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!

[tsukune]

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha - Where lil' girls put on Gundam Suits...quite literally.

Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica - How do you turn an elementary schoolgirl into a freaking demoness/goddess? By giving her 12 episodes + 3 movies worth of mental breakdown.

Fate/stay night - A magical battle royale to summon a hole in the sky non-existent goblet that went horribly wrong.

Seraph of the End - When Attack on Titan meets Twilight. The result is...obvious.

Aria the Scarlet Ammo - One can only wonder how in the world the descendants of the great Sherlock Holmes and Arsene Lupin became a pair of...dumb twintail bitches whose intelligence are beyond any logical understanding, even for an anime.

[Unfortunately]

One Punch Man: Main character is ridiculously overpowered, not to mention appears too boring.

[Keyguyperson]

Sora no Woto: A bunch of girls in Wehrmacht uniforms and a broken tank.

The Irregular at Magic High School: Incest.

GATE: Japanese nationalism at it's pretty okayest.

Kantai Collection: Ships that ship each other.

The Place Promised To Us In Our Early Days: Confusing stuff about quantum mechanics.

Arpeggio of Blue Steel: See Kantai Collection

Girls Und Panzer: Porn. Tank porn. Not girl porn, we're not pedophiles.

Strike Witches: Okay now we're pedophiles.

Spice and Wolf: Economics 101.

Maoyuu Maou Yuusha: Economics 101, with that one girl with whom your relationship never went anywhere as the teacher.

Stellvia Of The Universe: Like Star Trek but with 900% more little girls and wasted potential. And 0% of the exploration.

Now And Then, Here And Now: A parade of horrible things happening and thinly-veiled political messages. Like Keyguy's writing.

Code Geass: Liberty's Kids: Japan Edition.

Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon: BOOB. RIBBON.

Sword Art Online: Every teenage boy's wet dream.

Sword Art Online 2: Every 12 year old COD player's wet dream.

Starship Operators: The pinnacle of reality TV.

Space Brothers: It's about a car designer who headbutts his boss.

Future War 198X: Cold War paranoia.

Guilty Crown: Liberty's Kids Japan Part Two: It's Vaguely The Americans Now, Probably

Akito The Exiled: The French Revolution Part Two: Slavic Brits.

Space Battleship Yamato: Great for making your grandpa who was on the USS Hornet have traumatic flashbacks, and little else.

Yuri Seijin Naoko-San: Gay aliens.

Koufuku Graffiti: A series set in a universe where the "hot" in "hot food" doesn't refer to the temperature.

Gunslinger Girl: The animated adaptation of a loli porn title with all the porn taken out of it.

[Unfortunately]

Log Horizon: Sword Art Online, except with good 'ol politics.

Haiyore! Nyaruko-San: A blasphemous offense upon the Elder Gods.

Hataraku Maou-Sama: Satan would gladly give you fries with that.

[tsukune]

Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion - Freedom is hate. Hate is freedom.
Code Geass: Akito the Exiled - Freedom is pain love. Pain Love is freedom.

A Certain Magical Index (To Aru Majutsu no Index) - A pedo's wet dream.
A Certain Scientific Railgun (To Aru Kagaku no Railgun) - A lesbian's wet dream.

Love Live! School Idol Project - Idolm@ster in school. Or the genderbend of UtaPri.

Unbreakable Machine Doll (Machine-Doll wa Kizutsukanai) - A battle royale for pride, revenge...and yandere.

Madan no Ou to Vanadis - The Art of War 101, Ecchi Version.

Hagure Yuusha no Estetica - Stealing underwear like a ninja is what make a hero a true badass.

Rakudai Kishi no Cavalry - Who gives a shit about harem anime logic? Look, you even get a Sin City opening to boot!

High School DxD - "Protect your club president's boobs at all cost." Please see the Campaign Promotional Video here. (warning: don't watch this in public...you'll know why).

Kanojo ga Flag wo Oraretara - How to get a harem: raise dem girls' flags...literally.

Cuticle Tantei Inaba - Hair-fetish bro-con weredude with glasses + money-eating cute goat mafia boss = there's absolutely no way anyone can take this hero-villain combo seriously. At all.

[AlteredTundra]

Blue Exorsist - Letting everyone know that Satan is just misunderstood and god is the real evil. #praisebetolucifer #fuckgod

[tsukune]

Grisaia no Kajitsu ~Le Fruit de la Grisaia~ - When 007 meets School Version Love Hina.

Macross Frontier - Forget about those retarded Gundam drama or Code Geass politics. Just be prepared for eye + ear rape.

Ore ga Ojousama Gakkou ni Shomin Sample Toshite Gets Sareta Ken - How can a guy be enrolled into an all-girls school? By pretending that you're a gay...in the form of muscle fetish.

Outbreak Company - Where otaku-ism is actually a form of politics.

[Darkmatter]

Cowboy Bebop
Nothing happens, really. IN SPACE!

[AirBender]

Attack On Titan: Giant naked people eat small clothed people.

Naruto: The worst ninjas ever don't know stealth and scream their attacks at each other.

.Hack: Where Sword Art Online got all its ideas from.

Black Butler: Yaoi between a twelve year old boy and a demon with a human form.

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club: Hot shirtless guys who are all gay for each other... And I think maybe some swimming. I don't know, too many hot shirtless guys who are all gay for each other.

[tsukune]

Haikyuu!! - A murder of nerdy volleyball crows whose strong bromance (read: team spirit) is often mistaken as gaaaaaay hell courtesy of trashy fangirls.

Detective Conan / Case Closed - Where a shrunken Sherlock fanboy is a billion times smarter than the entire Tokyo Metropolitan Police Force + FBI + CIA put together.

[Marayla]

One Piece - Non-swimmers have superpowers. Apparently.

Kaichou wa Maid-sama - Pervy stalkers are totally acceptable if they're hot.

Boku no Pico - A heartwarming story about a young boy and an ice cream cone. It's a wonderful tale of self-discovery and the magic of childhood.