GAME: Crush A Wish

[Mardox]

Granted. You die a coward, having betrayed everyone.

I wish for Vermin Supreme to become president.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, a giant rat becomes vice president, but it dies a week into its term and the president is assassinated the next day, sending the country into anarchy.

I wish I was almighty king of the universe.

[Shiny Keldeo]

Granted. Your title is King of the Universe. However, like the English monarchy, you are merely a figurehead, while a bunch of other guys are actually running everything. You have no power whatsoever, and eventually you are nearly forgotten after a few years until someone reminds everyone of "That guy who was known as the King of the Universe."

I wish the real world was like Grand Theft Auto 5 (Oh... wait...)

[Shadowpenguin07]

Granted but someone pulls you out of your car, beats you up with a tire iron, and takes all of your money. They then drive off in your car and proceed to crash it into every single pedestrian they can find.

I wish I had the power to shape shift

[SleepingSilence]

Wish granted you can become a coffee mug.

I wish I could rewind and fast forward time at will.

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. You fuck up and create a paradox, destroying the multiverse as we know it.

I wish to have a PS4 and get every single PS4 game for free.

[Shorticus]

Granted. Unfortunately, you start to unpack your PS4 and all your games when you realize that you don't have a house, you're 50,000 dollars in debt (last you checked anyway), and you haven't eaten since last week. (I mean, unless you count that sticky candy wrapper you stole from a rabid dog as food.) Also, you're standing in the middle of the street and you forgot which way the homeless shelter is. And the soles of your shoes have holes.

Yikes. Well, at least you can probably room with some nerds out there because you have all the games.

I wish I had my own successful, profitable, and artistically and philosophically meaningful comic book company complete with good writers, artists, and all that jazz.

[Duthguy]

Granted, it still goes bankrupt within a month because people only read webcomics.

I wish I was a Homestuck character

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. You're a dead one.

I wish for my cat to be nice to me.

[AlteredTundra]

Granted, but it dies shortly afterwards.

I wish for this thing called sleep to come to me.

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. You sleep forever. Have fun being dead ;D

I wish for my cat to be nice to me and never die.

[Shiny Keldeo]

Granted. The cat runs away because cats do whatever the hell they want and don't give a ****.

I wish I had a real lightsaber, and knew how to use it so I wouldn't hurt myself or others unintentionally, and would only use it in extreme emergencies. I would always carry it on me, and no one could steal it. It is also indestructible by conventional means.

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. You're currently in a mental asylum, running around with a broom.

I wish for my cat to be nice to me, never die, and never run away.

[Duthguy]

Granted, you become deathly allergic to it.

I wish that water no longer expands when it freezes

[AltRightHero]

Granted' instead of growing it shrinks which creates a black hole.

I wish Hillary would get arrested live on a debate.

[Shiny Keldeo]

Granted. Trump wins the election by a landslide, and turns the U.S. into the land of his dreams, and our nightmares.

I wish for my previous wish, but it was 100% real, not some kind of mental illness that gets me locked up in the loony bin.

[paragloan]

Granted you have a lightsaber that is real and works and is indestructable however due to a quirk of manufacturing it can talk but only in a very obnoxious voice and eventually you use it to commit Hari Kari rather than listen to it for one more moment. How sad.

I wish that whenever I wanted something it wasn't so Damn hard to get.

[Shorticus]

Granted. Everything is now super easy and you become complacent, bored with life, and then you decide what you want to do is die. And that's super easy to get, too. Funny, really.

I wish for the genie to make a wish.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted. The genie wishes for you to not have made your wish. the wishes cancel eachother out and all is right in the world.

I wish to be a timelord with an infinite amount of regenerations, an awesome TARDIS of my own, and I always succeed in saving anyone or anything I want to.

[Shorticus]

Granted! You're the TV star of a shitty third rendition of Doctor Who.

I wish for the power to get frungy!