GAME: Crush A Wish

[ChickenTeriyaki]

You open a portal to Earth, and all sorts of demonic creatures come out. However, it is discovered that if they are exposed to human flesh, they turn into pistachio ice cream. Nobody eats them, since the pistachio ice cream has a nasty amount of cashew nuts in it. Your plan fails ridiculously, and you decide to run a small cigarette shop instead.

I wish that I had telekinetic powers.

[Bishop]

@ChickenTeriyaki Granted but you can only use it to stroke yourself.

I wish that the cigarette shop that I ran flourishes and becomes a big brand, the smoke of cigarettes that I sell have the effect to disintegrate human flesh through time and after 10 years every human flesh is disintegrated and me and my hellish legions are free to occupy earth realm.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted. But because you've been causing so much trouble, the little girl God blows up the earth.

I wish someone would get me out of Wonderland.

[ChickenTeriyaki]

Granted, but this guy comes to lead you out.


After he leads you out the magical cabinet WRONG STORY PIPSQUEAK, his face suddenly grows. Then he eats you.

"Yum yum vely vely testy owganz!"

I wish I could finally succeed in my quest for a boyfriend-free girl. I'm the mayor of CWCVille, by the way.

[RinOkumara]

you succeed, but she looks like this

@ChickenTeriyaki

I wish... I guess?... I wish I could dance a really cute dance

[ChickenTeriyaki]

Granted. However, you also become chronically obese.

encyclopediadramatica.rs/File:Typical…

I wish that I could get a life.

[Vashonn]

Granted, the genie takes you quite literally and you begin to grow a tumor on your brain which will continue to grow at an exponential rate, slowly morphing into a sentient being which takes a likeness to your own form. Congrats, you've just gained an identical Siamese twin, who happens to speak to you telepathically about only Gorgonzola and the Disco Demolition Night of 1979, consistently. It gets rather annoying.

I wish I didn't feel so alone.

[Publius]

Granted, you are in the company of three screaming toddlers incapable of empathy or speech and an abusive father with the same qualities.

I wish that my wish only had objectively good outcomes for myself.

[Vashonn]

Granted. Nothing happens. (It wasn't bad now, was it?)

I wish I wasn't so stressed about the financial struggles of lower- and middle-class households in the United States during a time of extreme crisis in regards to the uncertainty of the near-future with frugal enterprises that are predominantly monopolized by an ever-slimming minority of billionaires.

[RinOkumara]

sorry I don't get politics so I'll just take it like you wished to have your loved ones killed slowly and painfully and then for that to happen unto you

I wish I wasn't a cow

[RinOkumara]

sorry I don't get politics so I'll just take it like you wished to have your loved ones killed slowly and painfully and then for that to happen unto you

I wish I wasn't a cow

[Bishop]

Granted but now you are a literal bitch pregnant with a litter of puppies.

I wish that after the loli girl goddess destroyed my planet, and I escaped to the realms of hell with my army, that we successful invade and occupy heaven and make God and every angel ,which are all beautiful young females, my slaves.

[IntPenDespSword]

dude chill

Sure, you may try to invade heaven, but no genie or some lusty internet feller can overcome literal omnipotence.

I wish for every program in the world that is currently running, and that uses a while-loop running using an actual true expression instead of just the word true, to stop running.

[Bishop]

It is a running story line I have. I became The ruler of Hell.

Granted, but that wish applies to another world ruled by sentient programs who "live" by only using a while-loop running that use only actual true expression. They all stop running...in other words they die. Congrats in single-handedly eradicating an entire race..

I wish that God lost it's omnipotence giving me the power to invade heaven with my hellish legions.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted. You overpower God and now rule heaven as well as hell. However, a sudden wide spread STD causes all of your sexual partners and followers to die, leaving you partnerless and alone. This cannot be reversed.

I wish for that goddamn spider to stop crawling on my wall!

[Bishop]

Granted....but now it will start crawling on you!

After all my partners die, they either spawn in hell or heaven and as such i collect them again and add them to my harem. I wish that I could travel to another universe and invade all the worlds there with my angelic and demonic legions.

[ChickenTeriyaki]

Granted.

However, the other universe you land in is filled with overpowered Mary-Sue characters that could easily destroy your entire army without blinking an eye.



This ugly cretin dissipates your entire army simply by snapping her fingers and sending a myriad of Spirit Bombs at them. She then continues banging Sephiroth, who, in this twisted world, is the grandson of Sirius Black and the brother of Squidward Tentacles.

I wish that I could think of a creative wish.

[Lord Orgasmo]

Granted, but you have used up your one wish.

I wish I knew how to make really good sandwiches.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. They taste great to termites. Everyone else, well, their retching is immaterial.

I wish to be lifted of earthly obligation.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted. You've been excused from gardening duties.

I wish I knew whether or not the aforementioned spider from several wishes ago has laid eggs or not. Its abdomen was deflated.