Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by RomanAria
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RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕪

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Welcome back everyone!

I was going to do a fancy-schmancy screenshot thing with all of the submissions in it.

Aaand then I checked the RPGC Entry box.


Which is super-super, seriously, super-duper cool. However it does cramp my style a bit. So instead, we’re gonna run this thread in the usual way, with hiders. You should also be glad because now you don’t need to see the hideous purple desktop and minecraft icons anymore.

As always, mention @vote when you cast your vote. This thread is to serve as both the discussion and the voting thread so it really helps us to streamline the result process. Please do leave constructive feedback for the authors—every little bit helps.

Now, onto the entries so that Aria can quit awkwardly rambling over here!













Reminder: Cast your votes by midnight on Thursday, April 7th. Results will be posted on Friday, April 8th.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Vilageidiotx
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Vilageidiotx Jacobin of All Trades

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This is the best time I have to review this week, so imma do it now. Luckily this contest is short entries so it should all go smoothly enough. Though, to be honest, I'm not exactly sure how to review here, so imma just toss out what I think without trying to be too professional, because in the end I think affect is one of the most useful pieces of knowledge for a writer.















Having read them all, imma say it was "The Database" and "Silent Blues In The Park" that became the shoe-in competitors for my vote. And with that in mind, imma give that @vote to "The Database".
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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Okay, so reviews and vote.

I struggled a bit to find the snapshot theme in some entries, but I'm not sure mine was all that clear either Talking about mine, I'd like to add that except for the age of the main character, none of the numbers are made up. In case anyone wondered.

Anyway, on to the reviews. Don't expect too much of it, I'm terrible at grammar control and things like that, but I'll do my best.















My @vote is for 'Snapshot of imagination'. My personal runner up is 'The database'
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Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by WrongEndoftheRainbow
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WrongEndoftheRainbow

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@WiseDragonGirl
Thanks for your review! I specifically used conscience on purpose as it means the following:
an inner feeling or voice viewed as acting as a guide to the rightness or wrongness of one's behavior.
And the entire thing is kind of a scattered mess of over 2 dozen revisions, large and small. I would not be surprised if there's tiny mistakes all over the goddamned place.
@Vilageidiotx Oops, forgot to respond to your review. I actually got 'Osaka' and 'triSys' out of a random name generator, so I sorta just used it. I'm fluffing Osaka as the creation of Japanese and Chinese refugees, due to an unspecified disaster in Asia following the destruction of most forms of global communications.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Knight of Doom
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Knight of Doom Slowly Becoming an Alcoholic

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@Vilageidiotx
Thank you so much for your input! To address the problem of my story being a bit "Airy," that was the kind of tone I was looking for. The breeze was a motif that I kinda planted everywhere. I made this piece very heavily focused on symbolism. I took the picture myself in order to get the tone and symbolism I wanted. It’s not very obvious in the piece which is why I want to address it now. The tree in the background is obviously a pine tree which in the world of plants, symbolizes birth, abundance, health, fertility, fortune, and love. I decided to focus on the love part of it. The tree in bloom with the two ribbons on it is an apricot tree which is a symbol of timid love. The two ribbons are meant to represent Kamala and Kyran. Kamala is the red ribbon, her name even translates to pale red in Hindu. Red usually symbolises passion, blood, love, war, and violence (among a variety of other things that I chose not to focus on). All of these aspects relate to who Kamala is as a person and what her past was like. Kyran is the black ribbon, his name is Gaelic for little dark one. Black symbolises grief, mystery, elegance, formality, and power. All of which is also incorporated into Kyran’s personality and past. In the picture, both ribbons are tied to each other on the branch. There is also a breeze that is trying to whisk away the two ribbons. In my mind, the breeze is what made the two ribbons catch and tangle themselves on the branch, but it also has the ability to take them away from the branch. This part in particular explains it. “They will cling as hard as they can to that branch until the wind breaks it. For they refuse to break it with their own power. Even if it means that they must suffer the wrath of the wind themselves.”. For this piece to have an airy tone reflects the message I intended for it to have. The two are lost in their own world, unwilling to look around them at war and bloodshed.

@WiseDragonGirl
Thanks for your review!
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Gwynbleidd
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Gwynbleidd Summon The Bitches

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@Vilageidiotx

No and nope! I was under the impression I could grab any image off the web, and I just loved that one a lot. I could take that photo (well, one similar anyway) if I still had the canon rebel t2i's I could use when I was in college from my communication department. But, unfortunately not! Just wanted to take that photo and put a story to it via poetry and that's what happened. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem that much. I could take you through the meanings of those longer verses BUT I think I'll wait until all reviews and votes are in. Really appreciate your comments and your kind words; that was an enjoyable review! Thank you very much for taking the time to dig at it, it means a lot!

@WiseDragonGirl

Thanks for the review! Though, I'd say be open to your tastes changing. I used to hate poetry and not be able to get into it. But, the more I read the more I appreciate the amount of things people cram into their pieces.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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@Vilageidiotx Thank you for your feedback! (I'm not completely sure how to pronounce the title either, I only looked up how it was written)
This is actually not a personal experience. I don't do sports and I only recently began to watch ice-skating a bit, because my OC is an ice-skater. So that was flattering.
That part about droning, I see what you're getting at. I didn't know I used descriptors, I'm not exactly sure what they are either, but my aim was to submit a descriptive piece and explore expository writing with it. So, I don't know if using descriptors or not falls under that or not.
The explanation in the hider was basically to explain the title and the language it was written in. The information about the competition itself was woven into the story, some of it anyway. But if I would let this piece read to Dutch people, depending on the age most will know what the eleven city tour is and I basically wanted to give the foreign readers the same advantage. And that part about the language itself didn't fit in the story. Still, I see what you're getting at and it would have been better to put it after the story to answer questions people may have after reading it. I like you appreciate the educational parts of my entry

@WrongEndoftheRainbow Right! Okay, I didn't know conscience was an actual word. I did put it in Google, but didn't get any results. Well, only results of a Belgian writer called Hendrik Conscience. Also it was spelled as consience in the piece, which didn't really help looking it up. But hey, learned something new :) Thanks.

@Dark WindI'll definitely continue to try and read poetry like that.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by PlatinumSkink
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PlatinumSkink

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My opinions. Here we go.

















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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by RomanAria
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RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕪

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Are contest staff allowed to vote?

I think we are.

I dunno.

I @vote for @WrongEndOftheRainbow's The Database. Clever idea, clever execution. I love it. Real reviews will be coming... sometime. Probably this weekend.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Knight of Doom
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Knight of Doom Slowly Becoming an Alcoholic

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@PlatinumSkink Thanks for your input! I know I didn't specify this well, but I explained some pretty important things to my story in my previous post. It was mostly directed towards Vilageidiotx, but it contains some of the symbolism and other stuff.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Gwynbleidd
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Gwynbleidd Summon The Bitches

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Many great entries here all! First, congrats to everyone for completing their stories. Also, no really long ones! I blame @Keyguyperson for that, so can we all jump on top of that train and blame him together? Yeah? Cool. I'll have my reviews up over the weekend I hope, but for now I shall vote.

Drum roll, please.
DUHFHDUSHFHIFKJLHFJLNFMN<JFEJLKGNEFHJNK

Yes. That was a drum roll. Glad you all noticed. Someone tore the drum open, god damn drunkard (He was actually caught staring at minecraft symbols and the color purple from Aria's snapshot screen on the other thread...).

Alright, no more hesitations and jokes.

My @vote goes to... The Little Augustus by Vilageidiotx! Why? The writing is excellent for starters. There are moments where the showing takes a backseat to telling but for the most part you painted an in-depth snapshot in time of Romulus Augustus and the end of his reign. You had me invested in the characters and gave them real-feeling characteristics. Also, the dialogue. I'm jealous. I'm hit or miss on that but what you did there was really solid. There wasn't A LOT of dialogue, but you used your words very well and the voices felt true to the characters.

And to give them a shout out, I want to say my runner up goes to WrongEndOfTheRainbow's The Database because YO! That was a well thought out and creative take on the contest. Also, writing was quality for the point of view and style you had it written in. The AI had its own quirky and frightening (... and murderous) characteristics going on for it! The way it rationalized itself almost reminded me of Agent Smith's speech to Morpheus about human beings being a virus in The Matrix. Just, less... evil? I didn't feel like this AI was evil, just a bit glitchy perhaps. It had more remorse than Agent Smith, that is for sure. Great work.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by RomanAria
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RomanAria 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕟𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕪

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RPGC #8: Snapshot!
Official Voting Results



Winner: The Database by @WrongEndoftheRainbow!




Honorable Mention: Snapshot of Imagination by @PlatinumSkink!



Honorable Mention: The Little Augustus by @Vilageidiotx!





Bonus categories will be decided and awards will be handed out once the rest of the crew gets back online.
(Sorry I forgot to post this earlier... I totally forgot what day it was...)
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Loksfjoer
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It had me smile :)
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