[IC] Journey to the East

[snelss0]

Elann was glad to hear Aimee was okay, and nodded to the time table. It would give them enough time to eat, enjoy one another, and then pack up. No-one else had packed up their tent yet and it seemed people were just enjoying the day and recovering from their fears and loss. As Elann walked back, she felt sadness for those who had lost their family members, even a child having died in the night raid, but for Noah's sake she let the thoughts fade and instead focused on him and how she loved him; only making sure not to overwhelm him.

Upon entering the tent and sitting before her husband, she ate in a silence close to him. His legs were crossed under the blanket, and her legs were crossed over the blanket. She sat close enough that her knees rest between his, but not on him, just so she could be as close as possible. They both ate with their hands and she enjoyed her meal with him, but only ate some of the bread. Upon her finishing and giving him the rest of her food, she sprawled out before him on the soft fur and ran her hand up and down his thigh. Her soft piercing eyes settled on him in love and spoke to her devotion to him.

There was no telling how long he would stay in his funk, or what he would learn from his inward thoughts. Perhaps the thought of her leaving him would change some things. Perhaps the winds hurting him and the lightning striking where Caesarion - his lover of passion and desire- and Elann - his lover of everything else - meant something more to him than what it meant to Elann. She herself was confused as to the dream's meanings and it didn't particularly speak to her in her gift of insight or interpretation from the Gods. If such a feeling was experienced in her, she would have no control but to tell him the interpretation. As it was, perhaps if the dream meant something, whoever the dream God was who had relayed the message from his own Gods perhaps wanted him to figure things out himself. Perhaps it was the long road that would yield the best change and result in her husband.

As it was, she sat silently with him until he finished both plates, and seeing him do so, she would feel even more at peace. Elann had a strange bliss in seeing her husband eat; far more than anyone else could understand. In the desert, one didn't eat much, and the act of providing your husband with a good meal took on a greater meaning as it wasn't wasteful. He was her protector, her avenger, her lover, and to Elann, feeding him was a sign of not only her love for him, but self preservation. Up in the north where they were, food was far more abundant, and so the simple act of feeding someone was made less than what it was where she grew up. She had once explained all of that to him and the difference, but it didn't mean she still didn't derive enjoyment from watching him eat.

[Illumin0sity]

Noah’s gaze sat in his lap where his plate was. He wasn’t focused on eating as much as he was with thinking. The more he thought about it, there were distinct differences between Elann and Caesarion. Their differences were rooted in the deepness of their personalities, personas Noah carelessly failed to understand entirely before committing himself to them. That’s what it truly was, him committing himself to them, not the other way around. At first it was he who pursued them for the sake of learning about their human behavior, because they were curiosities in his mind. Somehow, when he settled in his observations, they turned to pursue him.

Elann grew close to him because he was always present, always around, and showed her the capability for friendship when she didn’t have any due to being a new arrival in the city. Their friendship blossomed with him welcoming because he didn’t have any of them either, didn’t exactly seek them out, to be fair. Caesarion grew close to him because they were alike, much like Elann and Noah in the beginning, in that they were outsiders and seemingly looked down upon. Caesarion was a former slave, and Kelvics were subhuman in the eyes of most of the society. It wasn’t that Noah cared about the stigma placed against it, but it was hampering and disheartening to him when he did try to press himself as a human.

Meeting Elann had been a turning point for him because he was ready to give up and return to Zeltiva, a place where he knew he was accepted by those who mattered in his life. With Elann he had felt as if he could try one more time to be a human, to be normal. Yet as their relationship progressed, as he grew more comfortable with her, he began to feel as if he didn’t have to continue his facade any longer, he could be himself, a Kelvic. When he tried to be himself, he was met with resistance and misunderstanding on Elann’s part. That was when the pressings for change came, when she urged and pressured him to bend against himself to keep attempting at an endeavor he no longer wanted to try at.

The harsh reality of it all was Noah had issues with trusting others. He had been snubbed and heart once by the person he supposedly held nearest to his heart, and it took time enough to recover so he could give his heart to Elann. Then, he trusted her implicitly and had the trust tarnished by a continuous barrage of requests. Now, the trust had wavered and his heart was closed up and hidden away behind the shell and walls he was erecting. Noah couldn’t deny his love for her, his want for her to understand him so he could take down his walls and let her back in.

Elann hardly ate, drawing pleasure from his own eating, his own immense appetite. She told him about the importance of it in her mind, how it was in her culture. Up here though, she didn’t have to worry about food being a scarcity, didn’t have to worry about not having the coin to pay for it either. He believed her view to be one sided, perhaps disregarding his request for equity in their relationship.

He saw her as more than his wife, the title itself was near meaningless in his opinion, but it meant something to her so he tried to draw meaning from it. All the titles and meanings she bestowed upon him would’ve been followed regardless of if they were married in her way or not. They were married by his bond, and he would avenge, protect, and love her because of the bond alone. In his own stubbornness, he didn’t want to add new definitions to what he had already defined, to what was already defined in their bond. He had conceded in their actual wedding because it was what she wanted, because it was causing a rift between them, and if the rift would stop and she would be happy, then he would wed himself to her.

He did it in the name of his own love, and in the love he looked up from the second plate in his lap to see her in front of him. Noah swallowed what was in his mouth before raising the plate to her. “You should eat more,” he said, and if she declined he would only insist again.

[snelss0]

Elann continued to lay there silently as Noah finished his food. The second plate was balanced in the ring of his crossed legs and she waited for him to say something. She just wanted to be a comfort to him. The immense thoughts and woes of their past were likely coursing through his brain and the food was hardly pecked at in comparison to his voracious appetite he usually had.

The food settled in her small stomach and warmed it, speaking of the many days she could last now since having it. The constant eating they did surely made Sylirans larger in comparison to some of her people - more able to gain muscle - but they would die in her land.

He seemed to settle on a thought as he finished his plate and held it up to offer to her. She wondered at the comment. He had thought far too long and deeply for that to be his chief concern. Where was the dealing with his guilt? Where was the feelings of concern and worry he had? What was this about food?

Elann shook her head, showing she didn't want it, but when he insisted more, she felt pressured. There was concern on his voice and she would tell he was being sweet, so she reached up and plucked a piece of meat off the plate and sucked the juices from it. There it rested in her hands as she rolled back to her belly and her feet came up, bent at the knees in a sort of lackadaisical kicking motion.

Before she ate the meat chunk, she would tell him, "Thank you, love. I'm really just not hungry. If I ate much more, I'd be bursting at the seams, really."

She wasn't lying to him when she handed him the plate, and if he focused through her bond he could feel she was beyond sated and almost full. Almost every time she ate, she gave him her food, but almost every time she ate, she took more on her plate just so she could give it to him.
"I grabbed the extra on my plate for you on purpose incase you were hungry. If you are done, I'll go feed it to the animals."

There were sows and dogs who would love to get the scraps from their plate. Considering the matter closed, she hummed as she bit into the meat. Her free hand flopped around a tassel that hung off the edge of one of the rugs. While Noah would have taken the entire chunk in one bite, he would notice Elann's bites were still like a child's, very tiny nibbles.

[Illumin0sity]

At Noah’s insistence, Elann folded and took another piece of meat, nibbling on it and telling him she wasn’t really hungry anymore, then offered to feed it to the animals if he was done. In reply, Noah shook his head and exhaled a weightless breath, resolving to eat the rest of the meal quickly. With that failed, he went back to his thoughts and drew quiet again, unsure what to really say. He honestly wasn’t sure the motivation behind offering her some of the food she brought for him. Maybe it was a way to repay her back for actually bringing the food to him since he had no other way to repay her in his mind. It wasn’t as if he could hunt their dinner either, or gift her anything.

The dream in which Elann walked away spoke to him as a rift being formed between them, or the rift between them widening all the more for the various reasons they argued or tiptoed around one another as to not offend. Usually in these instances he would find something to gift her with, the feather shaped earrings or the fur blankets served as means to cement her affection a while longer when he thought it was waning.

Unlike Elann, Noah didn’t seek to talk about everything vocally. He dealt with things himself before bringing the subject up, if at all. He was dealing with his guilt, his concern, and his worry. He was doing it in his head, doing it alone because he wanted to. The shifting dispositions switched like the winds patterns or clouds moving in suddenly over a clear sky. His god understood the ever-shifting nature of his Stormwarden and how it was hard to sit in one emotion for too long because Noah didn’t know how to effectively deal with them.

The more he thought about it, the more Elann became to appear as the catalyst for such hardship for him. Before he met her, he didn’t have to sit and wallow in emotions, his interactions with others were fleeting and she kept trying to attach meaning to his interactions when they meant very little. The vendors for instance; she wanted him to be kind and courteous to the vendors, strike up relationships with them. He didn’t want that, nor did he care for it. He had already attached so much care to everything else he did, why did he need more?

Noah finished his meal, cleaning the plate and swallowing what remained in his mouth before setting the plate between them. “I’m finished,” he said in announcement, looking up at her and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He licked his lips afterwards.

“When are we leaving?” he asked softly.

[snelss0]

Elann just loved Noah. She didn't have to gift him things. He could abuse her and not speak to her ever again and she would still choose to love him. The rift that formed between them, widening all the more, was not because of her. It had been in the past by her pushing, but now she had been doing everything she could to mend it, to listen to him, to do what he wanted, but instead, because of his unforgiving nature, he was left to wallow while she seemed almost cheery laying there.

She had forgiven him of whatever things in the past he had done to make her feel bad, to make her cry, and instead just took the day on as it was; her in bed with her husband, him eating food. Unseemingly it was her husband who was in the turmoil, one moment realizing his guilt for not sharing the fullness of his bond with her in his passion - a passion and desire that was stolen from her by Caesarion - and then the next, he was nearly blaming her for making him deal with emotions as a normal human. While she hadn't known his thoughts in that moment, it was what she had been experiencing all along. She had wanted him to open to her, but he hadn't, and it made her the bad one. She had to draw closer and push him to feel, but it would all have been so much less stressful for their relationship if he had opened to her the way she did to Caesarion. It was just one of the reasons she hated the man and would want to fight him if he showed up in their lives.

His announcement brought a cheerful smile to her lips and she looked over her shoulder to him away from her piece of meat.

"Less than an hour we need to start packing up."

She then went back to humming and nibbling away. Elann wanted so badly to just talk to him, to tell him the aftermath of the attack, how people felt, how she wished they were heading to Zeltiva with the intentions they once had, but it was not so easy. Elann was carefully tiptoeing so as not to offend him. She had tried to be herself multiple times, and each time he was either too angry with her, or just didn't seem to show any outward sign of agreeability. Elann was trying desperately hard not to irritate him in any way and was just trying to watch and learn from him. All her senses told her that he wanted to sit in thought, so she would wait until he was done thinking and wanted to perhaps speak to her. Then she would stop her humming and give him her full attention. In the meantime, she got halfway done with the meat chunk and felt quite full.

She offered it to him, holding it out with her slender right hand for him to either take with his hand or his mouth.

"I'm finished too," she said with an exhaustive sigh, showing she was actually really full. He too could feel in the bond she was somewhat more uncomfortable with the feeling of fullness. It had been a larger chunk, but now it was easy to be ate in a single gulp by the eagle.

"When you are ready, maybe we can walk around or something before you have to go into the wagon."

She wanted to see how he was feeling, so she also asked him, "Feeling a little better now?"

[Illumin0sity]

Noah nodded at her words. Elann started humming as she ate what she took from him but he didn’t speak anymore after that point. There was nothing to say but there was much more to think about. His mind went back to his guilt and how he wondered how to recover the growing rift between him and his bondmate. He had tried to change for her, and was still going to try, but there was only so much he could be pushed to do with the bond or not. He had his own personality, his preferences, likes and dislikes, and all of that couldn’t be swept away in order to sate Elann’s ever-reaching requests. If he changed what he was, who was he left but a creature molded by she? That was no way to live, regardless of their bond.

Noah knew Caesarion enjoyed the untamed nature within him, enjoyed the distant disposition and many other aspects Elann sought to change. When it came to Caesarion, the man only sought to teach Noah knew things and refine what the Kelvic was already good at. Perhaps Caesarion wished to make Noah more of a darkly tuned creature than Elann, but the Kelvic wasn’t inherently good nor evil, light nor dark. He was as he was and did what he did with no insidious or benevolent nature behind it. It was out of curiosity, because he wanted to see how people would react if he were to test and push and pull in certain places, certain situations.

It wasn’t unrealistic to be unforgiving, to be vindictive. Noah believed he had been wronged many times by Elann and sought to make her understand that. It wasn’t until the new motivation came along did he grow frustrated with her, only ever becoming angry in their latest fight - which ended in him no longer wanting to debate anything with her. She was sensitive and dramatic to the point where she took his annoyance and turned it into a full attack on herself when that wasn’t it at all. Whenever he wasn’t showing of his agreement, she took it as him being resistant or disagreeing with her suggestion. His hesitation wasn’t a cause for concern as much as her out of proportion reactions were.

Noah didn’t want to quell her naturally excitable behavior as much as he wanted her to understand his naturally placid one. Before their bonding he enjoyed to see her bubbling with energy and revving with her intensity, but after they bonded, it became jarring to deal with consistently. He believed he would get used to it, and he was at one point, until they hit a few snags in which the way she dealt with her own emotions and always bugged him to talk about a problem instead of leaving him alone, it all drove her to appear annoying and naggy. Her neediness and his want for distance didn’t mix well, and it was starting to show.

The guilt he felt in sharing his bond remained but the reasoning spoke out to him; why would he share the most vulnerable parts of himself to her at all?

Noah raised his hand to the meat offered, waving it off. He was approaching fullness himself and it was an uncomfortable feeling. He only pressed himself in this way because it would be a long while before he could eat another meal.

“Okay,” he said in reply to the suggestion for walking.

“A little,” he said, meaning just that.

Next, he eased out of the blanket, letting his bare body out and grabbed ahold of the pants cast aside the night before. He set them in his lap then looked to Elann again.

“When we get to Zeltiva, I still want to show you the tree and go to the inn by the mine,” he said. “Do you?”

Despite what they were going through, he still held onto the hope they would be better once they arrived in Zeltiva. He had expressed the want to show her his hideaway, somewhere dear to him, because he was seeking to create something special in Zeltiva with her. As much as each day seemingly cut away at the amount of hope in his heart, it still remained.

“Could you help me?” he asked next, raising the trousers slightly off his lap.

[snelss0]

Elann had hope for their relationship, not entirely sure where it would head, but she would do what it took. Her only hope was that she was not alone in this, and he would express to her in ways that were patient with her to show her how she could change. She would still be herself, but wanted to be more mindful about things when dealing with him since she had hurt him so badly. She really cared for him and felt bad she had done what she had. Her only peace in it was that it wasn't intentional, but now he could tell she was trying at least.

Elann nodded as he rejected the meat and set it down on the plate to remain there. She was surprised that he could not finish the remainder of her meal as he usually did, and attributed it to the slowness of his eating and his thoughts elsewhere.

She seemed to brighten a little as he okay'ed their walk as well as indicating he felt a little better. Elann was trying to take him at his word, and that meant he was feeling only a little better. When she and most others would use the phrase, it could mean a "significant deal better", but she was trying to see from his antiemotional eyes that what he said, was.

"Well I'm glad that you didn't have any tea and made it through the night without unbearable pain. You even had a night terror and it didn't make your pain far worse. I think that's a good sign you are getting closer to being able to get out your stitches. Only a few more days I imagine."

She could notice the difference from when he walked to when he didn't. It seemed almost like he was more full of life. Elann watched as he eased out of the blanket, her scooting up to her knees so she was out of his way, and she nodded. The reminiscent thought brought a smile to her face, but she then corrected her thinking in knowing he was just interested in going with her, not necessarily drudging up the past to remember better days between them. With an interested look on her features she answered.

"Of course. I want to see everything you have to show me in Zeltiva. I imagine there is a lot you used to do."

She wanted to ask more about his father and family, but had settled into a funk on the fact they would not likely enjoy her. Already she had had troubles understanding even Isabella and Aimee, who were the more sensible of the group. Elann had no idea what to expect with the father and likely would just keep her mouth shut around him. She had no idea about pack mentality or anything of the sort, but she was trying her best to learn. It was just that Noah didn't explain things to her, he showed her, and it wasn't how she learned.

Elann saw him raise his trousers and was actually somewhat taken aback by his offer to have her help him. All through his previous injury, he hated her helping him, wanted to do things himself. Even this time he had been like that, so she truly treasured the moment and came by his side as if soothed by his words.

"Of course. Lay down."

With her taking them from him, she would slide them onto both legs almost ritualistically. It was a reminder to her of the times when she had to pull his shorts up after a bath in his old apartment. She bunched them up at his calves until they were all above his feet, and then would perhaps more carefully than needed to, raise the pants up his legs, her eyes set heavily upon his scar there. As the memory came in, she burned in her heart with love for him, but it became milder, more tolerable as she thought about him and how she was flooding their bond. She would assist him, letting him do all he could to get them up and bind them and then if wanted or requested, would help him sit back up.

[Illumin0sity]

“I hope so,” Noah had said in reply to the comment on his stitches being removed. Them being removed would be the most welcome step in his recovery he could anticipate for. He just wanted to move freely again, didn’t want to lean on others for anything anymore. It was already damaging to his pride to ask even Elann for help, regardless of if she relished in aiding him or not. It wasn’t what he wanted and hopefully she understood that.

When Noah thought on the past he could vividly recall the good along with the bad, it was just the bad weighed heavier than the good. He remembered Elann’s joy and their happiness together in bright color but also saw the times he had been pushed and shoved for things he didn’t exactly want to do in a heavy layer of darkness and gloom. In his mind, the bad outweighed the good because he felt as if it was himself who had been wronged. As it were, he loved Elann then and loved her now. All he wanted to do was hope their future would be brighter and less darkness filled than their past.

Lying down, Noah finished putting his pants on with her aid and then used her to sit back up. He muttered a thank you, not in a begrudged tone, but in one that was just made in his quiet voice. He meant it, and assumed Elann derived joy from aiding him in the menial task he wanted to do himself. Noah couldn’t explain how appreciative he was when Elann fashioned the special pants and shorts for him when his leg was injured, how all he had to do was pull up his pants by two strings instead of straining with his injured leg. She fashioned a way for him to do something himself without needing her help while also satisfying her need - or want - to aid him as well. He loved her for that.

Thinking on it as he sat up and tied the drawstring of his trousers, he felt a little bad for their fights. They weren’t stupid in his opinion, but the suffering they caused was heart-wrenching and hurtful. He had been hurt enough though and hadn’t found it in his pattering heart to allow her to regain the fullness of the special space within himself made specifically for her.

Noah had felt how their bond briefly lit up with her burning love and then it was squelched in the next moment. It warmed his heart momentarily before it was lessened and made milder by her.

“Did you do that?” he asked, looking at her. “That feeling, did you do that?”

[snelss0]

Elann knew her husband couldn't wait for the day to be independent and free, and it was her focus to repair what she could now while she could. He would have no hesitation any longer in leaving her if they fought, if only temporarily. His scruples against the action had likely all but faded as they continued to fight and she had no intention of seeing him fly off again because of her.

Elann brushed back her hair as he sat up, and upon him asking her if she suppressed the feeling, she nodded silently with a simple affirming hum. She particularly didn't want to explain why or what she was doing. If he didn't know already, then perhaps she had misunderstood him? Perhaps he didn't want her to suppress her emotions for his sake. She was so confused.

It wasn't that he couldn't feel her love for him anymore or that she was closing the bond on him, she was just for his sake not compounding her love for him and overwhelming him and thus it tapered out into a more calm soothing feeling than a rush of warmth as it once was.

She spread out her palms on the fur to feel it for a moment and then stood to grab his shirt for him. She held it out until he was ready for it, and then extended it so it was easier for him to grab. He could put on his own shirt she figured, but if he requested her aid, she would be more than happy to help.

If she could help it, she wasn't going to push nor broach the subject of her feeling, hoping it was a nonissue. Before, she would have likely asked him why he wanted to know, or maybe have explained what she felt and why she felt that way, but there had been times that in his own actions, he had made her feel insecure to speak of her emotions.

[Illumin0sity]

Noah thought her simple answer was peculiar, all it was was a hum and a nod, nothing more, nothing less. Before, Elann would voice herself, though he understood why she was being quiet now. The history of her questioning him, or him questioning her, led to arguments and fights and more rifts. Seeing it for himself was a heavy thing and the tiptoeing around was going to become a new annoyance because they were so closed up to one another now for fear of what would be if they spoke.

Last night, with Elann’s acceptance of learning about him, Noah had set himself to attempt to try again, resolved himself to use last night as a starting place to go forth from. He had lost his will to fight with her on anything else and knew it wouldn’t be a vocal altercation as much as it would be one filled with attitude and quiet thoughts.

Noah took his shirt from her and set it down in his lap. Simmering, he assumed she misunderstood him last night in the moment he thought was so special between them. By this point her misunderstanding him wasn’t surprising, that’s all it seemed to be between them, misunderstandings.

“Why?” he simply asked, waiting for clarification so he could clarify to her what he meant.

[Illumin0sity]

Noah thought her simple answer was peculiar, all it was was a hum and a nod, nothing more, nothing less. Before, Elann would voice herself, though he understood why she was being quiet now. The history of her questioning him, or him questioning her, led to arguments and fights and more rifts. Seeing it for himself was a heavy thing and the tiptoeing around was going to become a new annoyance because they were so closed up to one another now for fear of what would be if they spoke.

Last night, with Elann’s acceptance of learning about him, Noah had set himself to attempt to try again, resolved himself to use last night as a starting place to go forth from. He had lost his will to fight with her on anything else and knew it wouldn’t be a vocal altercation as much as it would be one filled with attitude and quiet thoughts.

Noah took his shirt from her and set it down in his lap. Simmering, he assumed she misunderstood him last night in the moment he thought was so special between them. By this point her misunderstanding him wasn’t surprising, that’s all it seemed to be between them, misunderstandings.

“Why?” he simply asked, waiting for clarification so he could clarify to her what he meant.

[snelss0]

"Hmm, well, I just felt love for you when I saw your scar. It reminded me of how I took care of you then."

She just assumed he wanted further clarification and so in her old fashion she just answered him, hoping it didn't backfire on her.

"I could tell last night you were showing me how to calm my feelings and just enjoy the moment, or at least I think, so I just wanted to show you a period of time where I did that for you. I just figured I'd remain calm for a while."

She awaited him, standing close by within arm's reach of his head. She could tell he was in thought, but that was normal for him. She wondered if the patient husband willing to teach would emerge, if she would be congratulated for learning the lesson right, or if the annoyed and frustrated man would come forth. She hoped the former two rather than the latter.

[Illumin0sity]

“Oh,” he said at first lowly.

Noah leaned his head over and ducked it under her hand and nuzzled up into it. As he expected, she had misunderstood him, but it was hard to tell her exactly what he wanted of her, at least it was for him. Noah grew up in a family where emotions and wants were communicated by motion alone. There was an air about his family’s home that told of moods and when someone wanted to be bothered and when not to. He often showed those moods to Elann but she didn’t know the language enough to interpret the moods he was giving off. The fact that his face was placid unless he directly sought to communicate with her meant his quiet state of being was easily misunderstood and otherwise unseen motions were left unseen.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said after a moment’s thought. “Well, it is what I meant, but not like this. Do you remember when you told me to be slow that time we had sex after the movers took the things out of the apartment?” He looked up at her, her hand sliding over his forehead as he did so. “I guess you like that sometimes, so I wanted to show you something I liked as well.”

He took a breath, pausing to think. His sights came back down as he scratched his chin. “You are… very laouru, fiery, or… too hot to handle, like fire,” he explained. “It’s not all the time, but when you get really excited it can be overwhelming. I like it sometimes, it’s endearing, but it’s also shocking.”

Noah pressed his head further up into her hand. “Does that make sense?” he asked. “I don’t want you to hide it. I just want you to know that I’m not like that, okay?” He paused again and chewed on his lip. “You know that though, don’t you?”

Noah hoped she did. To him, it was easy to tell Elann’s moods and emotions usually before she even showed them on her face. It was why when they did basically live together for a time he managed to avoid getting in her way or felt he knew how to approach certain situations because of how she would flare both in their bond and in the room before she reacted physically.

[snelss0]

Her husband showed what she interpreted as affection and she coursed her hand through his hair. She wasn't sure if that was what it was or if it was something else entirely, but she would only know if and when he seemed to respond to the behavior of her petting his hair softly. He seemed informative instead of judgemental, and it seemingly put the growing tension within her to ease. If he handled more of their conversations in a learning way as he did now, she felt she could better understand.

It seemed she came close to the mark, but upon hearing him, she nodded, showing him that she heard him. She figured it was something akin to that, but wasn't sure how and when she should do it. After his brief explanation though it made more sense to her. At times of request, he would ask her to calm herself, much as she had to him.

He paused, explaining afterwards in careful manner that she was too hot to handle. She was slightly worried that he was going to say that he didn't like it, but he actually did the opposite, dispelling the worry within her and causing a bit of happiness to come flooding in.

As he pressed up further into her scratching hand, she moved downward toward the back of his head and scratched there lightly as she listened.

"Yeah...I understand," she answered in brief.

He then explained further and she chewed her lip in nervousness.

"Well, I hoped not, but I was actually kind of confused. When I look at my mother and she looks at me, I know what she is thinking. In the same way, you were trying to do that with me I think and I just got the feeling you were saying that my bond was too overwhelming for you, to slow and calm down- which you were, but I wasn't sure how long you wanted me to be calm, to sort of let you handle it my laouru nature. So I was just doing what I could to not overwhelm you."

Just because she had permission to do it, didn't mean she did overwhelm him just then. There was no particular rise in her emotion at that moment, so she was in a way, idle.

[Illumin0sity]

The way Elann scratched at the back of his head and into the depths of his curls felt lovely to the Kelvic. If he hadn’t been talking, and if the moment hadn’t of been delicate, he would’ve started his purring again. As it were, he kept himself from the near involuntary reaction and sought to see how Elann interpreted his words - hopefully in a good way. There wasn’t a swelling of emotion in her as she expressed she did understand him. He was kind of worried that she didn’t surge then, but he assumed she was keeping in mind what he just said. In a way, it was easier for him to speak in Fratava to her because the language was filled with the emotion he was naturally devoid of sometimes. If anything it made him want to redouble his efforts in teaching her his mother-tongue.

“I’m sorry for confusing you,” he apologized softly, leaning his head against her leg since she was standing.

The Kelvic laughed there quietly as he remembered something. “I was at the post office one day and I was talking to Liam while I waited for the mail sorter to get done with my parcels so I could deliver them. I think you started laughing at something and getting really happy and I started laughing too,” he said, smiling. “Liam got scared and asked why I was laughing. I had to tell him I didn’t know. It was… weird.”

In his affection and want to be close to her, Noah brought his hand up and grasped lightly at the back of her leg, going a bit beneath her dress so his palm actually touched her skin. “I like when you smile,” he said caringly. “I like it when you laugh too, when you’re happy.”

Noah took another breath, pausing heavily. “I know it’s been… bad lately, but I want it to be like it was in Syliras again,” he said carefully. “Can we try again, please?”

As if bracing himself for an answer, the hand on Elann’s leg held fast, his grip slightly tightening in its hold. He wasn’t attempting to cause her discomfort, but she could feel the increase of pressure where the hand once just rested, now it held.

[snelss0]

Elann hummed affectionately as he actually apologized and leaned into her leg. While she didn't feel much emotion before, now a soft, velvet blanket of warm love would seethe through the bond. Her scratchings would turn more soothing and forgiving, but a shrill jump in delight would come from her as he actually began to laugh. He didn't realize - or perhaps he did - but it had been a long time since she heard him laugh. A day was long enough for her, but however long it had been was far greater.

She listened intently as he expressed what had happened with Liam and she gave a small chuckle herself, though inside she was far happier than outside. A bright smile took her as she voiced her pleasure in the topic.

"I imagine that could happen quite a lot with some of the things the girls would say at my work. I think it was pretty common for us to laugh and joke around. He probably thought you had laughing sickness or something at first hmm?"

She knew someone outside of her tribe who lived in a tent who had that disease. It was a horrible thing to see, but they made sure he was fed better than most, instead of letting him die out there.

As he came under her dress to grab her thigh, it was a little bit of a shock at first, but his compliment sent warm tinglies all through her.

"Of course we can. I am not going anywhere," she said as she pulled from his hand to turn and face him more readily and then lowered herself onto his lap carefully. "I love it when you make me smile."

He didn't may not have known it, but his reconciliation to her was very human-like, and it was why she was responding as she did. Elann tried to respond to the true self of her husband, but couldn't communicate well. She had been so focused on changing him, that she came to a point where she couldn't listen to him telling her to stop. Now though, she was listening as long as he was explaining, and here he had explained in human fashion, and she understood.

Both of her hands came up to his hair to resume the petting, except this time, she wanted to have some play with him.

"What was that I heard when I was scratching your back last night hmm?"

She nipped a playful kiss at his cheek near the corner of his mouth and scratched down the sides of his head down near his ears. There she softly scratched around them, even coursing her hands to very lightly play with his ears. There was no seductive feelings or desire to make love with in her, as he hadn't seemed to desire her, but there was plenty of love, interest, and comfort, all which were missing in part from when he had woken up from his nightmare.

[Illumin0sity]

It had been a long time since Noah had last laughed in genuineness. He had felt so down since their last fight that laughing was the last thing on his mind, consciously or not. He failed to find the humor in many things, even in the inside jokes him and his sister shared. It was the consequence of falling that hard in mood and staying that low. If he had been in his truer form, Elann would’ve seen the differences in him should she had been perceptive enough or had enough knowledge of how he looked and behaved as an eagle. He missed the feeling and the first chuckles flooded him with feel good emotions.

Elann came down, saying they could try again and she wasn’t going anywhere. Sitting in his lap, facing him, they were immensely close, how he wanted it. His hands came to her body in the dress, setting outside the fabric on her thighs as her hand with through his hair. The curls of his head had turned torrential and wild, taking over whatever tameness he had once managed to accrue when it was last cut. Atop that, the hair on his cheeks, jawline, and chin were coming in. He usually liked to keep himself cleanly shaven, liking the features of his face to be unhidden. He wanted desperately to groom himself, to bathe, at least to wash his face in cold water.

In the moment he was trying to enjoy himself with his bondmate, letting himself fall into relaxation now that his mind had been greatly put to ease by her words. Her voice alone could soothe him in normal situations, but when they spoke words he yearned to hear, the impact was tremendous.

Elann’s tone turned playful, the hum coming being signature to the mischief she usually partook in right after. To her character, she leaned in and kissed him on the corner of his mouth and let her hands course down over his ears and then resided in that area. She was letting her emotions down the bond to him and he was already relaxed as he was last night due to tiredness alone, and thus it didn’t take long for the sounds and gentle vibrations to sound through his body.

Noah closed his eyes lazily and let his head lax slightly as he hummed in delight. “When something feels good…” he trailed softly. “Keep doing that…”

A low groan rumbled through his throat and his shoulders slacked entirely. Sitting on him, she could feel the actual base in his chest and how the gentle rumbles turned into feelable vibrations coursing through the entirety of his being. The longer she went the more relaxed Noah became and the consistency of her actions played a part in how deep the reverberations turned into. Because he was a man and not an eagle they were several times louder and greater than they normally would’ve been.

In his state, his hands slowly crept towards Elann’s core and gripped gently at either side of her abdomen. The hold was loose, nothing in him wanting to tense, but she could plainly see the affect she was having on him.

[snelss0]

Elann's playful tone elicited a response that spoke more than he realized. It reminded her of the feelings they had on their wedding night when making love. She could intimately tell when things were just right for him, and if she could do that then, why stop there?

She herself closed her eyes and tried to feel him, not through their bond - as he had closed it to her - but in the sounds of his body. Elann may not have had training as an animal, but she understood intimacy with him. She had hyper focused on it, and truly tried to learn his "I like" sounds and the way he moved his body. With her eyes closed and deep intent to further bring him comfort and pleasure, she felt him out. It wasn't long before in her scratching and gentle rubbings that she found areas more associated with feeling good than others.

A low grumble came out at one point and she hummed as if interested. It was then she learned that even her own hum had added to his enjoyment. As he placed his hands on her waist, it wasn't long before she had his bond unintentionally opening up. His mind had become like jelly, and it was then that she began to speak lowly, quiet, not quite a whisper that had the shrill twang at the end with breath, but just as soft.

"You enjoy this...Just relax...There is nothing else, just you and me here."

Instead of leaning back slightly, she came closer so he could feel her closeness, her chest against his, her face breathing close to his own, and her natural scent, full of the fragrance of the earth she had spent the night in to fill his lungs. It was as much comfort as she could give him.

"Just you and me. Together as one, bondmates. Feel me through our bond..."

She would think then on how she felt sitting on her comfortable rug next to the hearth with him. In her memory, the children weren't there, just him and her. He looked at her with his beautiful eyes and presented her with the gift of her golden earrings. She recalled how she felt wearing them and how beautiful she felt in them. That was what she thought of to send comfort to him through their bond; a highly comfortable memory.

[Illumin0sity]

Noah was finding himself in a plane of utter bliss. The more she did, the deeper he sank into the feeling, and his conscious hold on their bond loosened to let loose his deep feelings of delight and pleasure. The want residing within the bond was a want for the feeling for it to continue, and it did to his greatest pleasure. In between the movements of their lovemaking from before Elann couldn’t detect the deep rumbles of pleasure coming from him but they were there, quietly lurking between the thrusts and actions to further the act. Even when they were quietly going about their lives and he was perfectly content, the buzzing was there in his body, sounding to denote just how happy he was. This was the ultimate way for him to communicate how he felt about a situation, and once one took in his surroundings and logically noted what would make sense, they could tell Noah’s mood without him telling.

Elann’s voice came and added to the mixture of outrageously distracting stimuli and he only sank lower still. She drew close, pressed her chest against his, and could feel the brunt of his rumbling as it transferred into her body. When she did draw close his hands continued to wrap around her until she was in a loose hug. He took in her scent with each rolling breath and exhaled the heat held inside him down onto her neck and shoulders. Noah rested his head on her shoulder, turning to lie his cheek there as his face turned towards the slope of her neck.

She trickled in the loving emotions that fueled the memory in her mind and brought him further still under her spell. Elann had coached him to believe it was just him and her there, they were together as one and as bondmates. Her words repeated over and over in his head and fulfilled a wish of his to be like this with her in more than this moment. As she said before, he yearned to be able to look at her and communicate exactly what was on his mind and vice versa without the need for telepathy. He wanted them to develop their own silent language. They hopefully were sowing the seeds here and now for a vineyard of tacit signs that would blossom once they rooted their home in Zeltiva.

Noah was unsure how much time had passed for he had drifted to a place between conscious and not. He came around enough to tighten his hold around her body. “Stop…” he eased quietly, dreamily. “We should go…” he trailed halfheartedly, he wanted to stay truthfully.

Since he was coming to, the deepness of his vibrations stopped and he pulled back to view her face to face. “A rarou ona,” he said in soft Fratava, a phrase Elann knew as it translated to ‘I love you.’

Though he asked her to stop, he didn’t let her go, only tightening his hold on her there in his lap before pecking her on the corner of her mouth as she did him. Pulling back again, he was essentially inviting her to kiss him in full. It was obvious in the way his pale eyes flicked between her lips and then her eyes.

[snelss0]

It was highly entertaining seeing him fold under her pressure, but really she wasn't trying to be entertained. In his pleasure, she herself now was receiving pleasure. While the bond had been opened and had let through his pain, it was inconsequential to the amount of enjoyment he was getting. Ten chimes had passed before he had warned her to go. She herself was not sure how long it had been but knew it had not been more than fifteen.

Elann hummed delightedly, in a sort of bliss herself as he spoke to her in Fravata, more in response to his voice than anything else. It took her brain a moment to catch on that he wasn't talking in common anymore and when she interpreted, she grinned.

"I love you too," she replied in Shiber, sounding very shushing and calm in its soft spoken form. Fravata could sound emotional and romantic, but hers sounded intimate and smooth in a different way. It was clear that both languages had love in mind when being made, plus she could kind of tell he loved her accent. While many others had mocked her mispronunciations, he simply corrected her and enjoyed her speaking. Even still, her normal common had that hint of accent in it, but it wasn't as strong as it once was. Here, the fullness of the "el's" and "sh's" sounded softly.

He kissed her, lingering close and his eyes communicating their intent. It was in times of romance she could understand him so easily, having focused on it so much so as to please him on their wedding night. Now he looked into her eyes with that longing for her kiss. She searched him and found that with his longing, there was a kind of desire for her in it. He wasn't just wanting to kiss her because it was the right thing to do, he actually wanted her lips.

"You know..." she said lingering close to his lips with eyes closing, "It's only been fifteen chimes at most."

There was a quick lick of her lips and she connected to him, feeling a growing desire within herself for him. Her hands fell the from his hair and hugged around his shoulders in an embrace as she kissed him full.