As they danced, Stella couldn’t remember the last time she felt such a high and without having to drink anything. That wasn’t to imply she was the sort of girl who needed alcohol to have a good time, but lately, her moods have been skyrocketing and declining at abnormal rates. It didn’t help her cause that she had been trying to get along with Oliver as much as she could while Kavi teased her constantly about how he was gay. Stella had of course ignored him and despite her planting a kiss on his lips, the thought of what Kavi had said came to her mind. She didn’t even realize what had happened until she shook her head briefly and was locked in a soul-stealing gaze that would have otherwise not worked on her, but she was so lost in her own mind that Stella fell victim to Penny’s captivating eyes.
"Stella, darling, what would you most prefer? We can go tease Saliva-dor together. Or perhaps you can go back to smooch your date some more? Hmmm?"
On her multiple suggestions, the girl snapped out of it and shook her head. “Oh, no--I mean, he looks busy or like he’s not in the mood. He isn’t the best of company when he’s angry,” Stella informed Penny, almost warning her about what she assumed was Kavi’s state of mind. “And..Oliver, he probably wants time alone. I don’t know..” She hesitated to be certain about that.
She didn’t want to think he was angry at her. The kiss she gave him was almost as sudden as her being whisked away by Penny was. Plus, she didn’t know how to handle her feelings about everything right now: Oliver, Penny’s suggestions, and her own feelings that feel like they are swirling around like a storm ready to burst--but where?
Penny smiled and tugged Stella close again, enveloping her in her arms for a slow dance. “No one is good company when they are angry, babe. But it does sound like you need me more. Why do you think Oliver needs more time on his own, hmmm?” Her question was gentle and she moved close to Stella’s ear so that she didn’t have to shout over the music.
”You have a point.” Stella found herself agreeing with Penny, less uncertainty flowing into her mind.
As she thought about it, she didn’t know how to answer Penny’s question. Her first thought wa show she suddenly kissed him and maybe it was too much of a shock? Or maybe he didn’t like it and she didn’t want to bother him or push him into talking?
“I don’t know,” she murmured, the change of songs suddenly bringing the noise down temporarily. “I just don’t know.” She repeated, but this time said it a little louder.
Penny laughed lightly and brushed some of the girl’s hair from her face. “Oh Stella, my lovie duck. Any boy, or girl, who gets to taste your lips will only experience a blessing. Believe me, I know.” She drew back momentarily to wink at her slightly smaller friend. “Sometimes it is good to let them stew, but never let them stew too long. You can’t know the outcome of something unless you finally look at it babycakes. Like Schrodinger's cat or something.”. She leaned forward and rested her forehead against Stella’s. “What's got my girl so nervous, hmm? And don’t say you don’t know. Give it some thought.”
She had to admit Penny had a way to make her feel better, though Stella always felt a little ...weird when she got so close. But Stella knew she was right. The one thing she knew was how she was starting to feel about Oliver and how not knowing how he felt about her was quite literally killing her. Clearly, she knew this to be the absolute truth. There was no denying that.
Smiling softly at Penny, she inhaled just as soft. “I guess I kind of like him.” That was the first time Stella said the words out loud. “I mean, I know it’s pretty obvious or else why would have I kissed him, right?” A question she was asking only because she was trying to jumble her thoughts in a somewhat cohesive way. “I have no idea if he feels the same. He didn’t kiss me back or maybe I didn’t give him the time.” As she said that, she attempted to look down, though with Penny’s forehead against hers, that was proving to be difficult.
Penny laughed quietly. “I didn’t exactly give him enough to time respond though, did I? I swept you away like Cinderella. My bad darling, I’ll admit it.” She lifted her face and looked down at Stella. “Honey, there is absolutely no way of knowing unless you ask. Maybe kiss him again. Maybe give him the chance to kiss you,” she teased. “It’s easy to wallow in self doubt, but I know you have the strength to ask those tough questions.”
“I suppose so,” she said not-so-confidently, her voice low. She knew Penny’s heart was in the right place, but the girl wasn’t exactly in the right mindset to do as she said.
The young woman sighed, unravelled herself from the girl, and took her hand. “Come with me,” she said loudly over the music. She led Stella through the mess that had become homecoming. People obviously drunk, random fights, posturing, it certainly summed up the whole of their school.
At last, she settled at a quiet table in the back of the room. Empties and punch stains littered it but that was not what Penny liked about the table. It was a quiet space away from the noise and pomp of the dance. She pulled out a chair for Stella and then sat right next to her. “Babe, talk to me about it. I am here for you.” She smiled gently at her friend and reached out to grab and hold her hand.
Stella didn’t know where to start. She again knew that Penny’s heart and intentions were in the right place, but she just wasn’t sure where she could begin. She didn’t understand her own feelings for Oliver or if they were even real. No, she knew they were real. She was passive and always second-guessed herself, but this was something she was absolute about. She knew she had feelings for Oliver. There was no doubt in her mind.
She looked at Penny, soaking up her supportive gaze as she squeezed the girl’s hand. “I just..I feel like he doesn’t like me back. No, that’s not it,” she paused, knowing she already said that and can’t know for certain. “Okay, the truth is I’m afraid the rumors about him might be true. Both Kavi and Sonny - more Kavi - teased me about Oliver. They think he’s gay because of how he acts and how he dresses. I know he’s just an idiot. Look at what happened with him and those two girls earlier? I know it’s clear as day he has plenty of error of judgments.” Stella didn’t know where that came from, but she was on a roll, so she wasn’t going to stop. “I don’t have the best history of dating. You know about my brief thing with Santiago, right?” She asked Penny.
Another sigh, but this one was accompanied by an indulgent smile. “Yes, you told me a bit about you and Santi. Is there something more you want to share?” Her thumb skimmed back and forth across the back of Stella’s hand.
Instinctually, she attempted to with her hand. “That tickles!” She whined softly, giggling. She had always been ticklish on the base of her thumb and Penny always knew exactly where that spot was. After a short moment, she recomposed herself. “I’m just saying that my luck hasn’t been the best. So what if this is just another reminder that me and dating is doomed to fail?”
“Mmm, I dunno lovely. I think saying something like that is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You don’t think you can find love then you won’t. In terms of Oliver’s ‘gayness,’ it is certainly a possibility. However, people can be gay for a partner, why couldn’t he be straight for you? I guess, what I mean to say is, the truth can only be spoken from the secret holder’s lips.” Penny furrowed her brow and leaned down to catch Stella’s eyes. “Does that make sense, my love? If you want to go after this guy I wholeheartedly and without reservation am behind you. But I don’t want to push you either. If you want to take time and just relax with me, or even someone else… Feelings are some tough shit my girl.”
”Someone else?” She felt like she had to repeat it because she wasn’t sure what Penny was implying. “I doubt anyone else would be interested in me - well, at least in that way.” Again Stella found herself looking at the negative rather than the positive.
This was so much unlike her baby girl. She was the brightest, sparkling rainbow glitter princess. Penny leaned back and watched the features on Stella’s face. “I just mean, if you get sick of me darling.” She crossed her legs and brought a hand up to her chin as she settled the elbow on the table. From her propped up position, she watched Stella’s reactions. “You sell yourself short. I cannot imagine a single person in this whole wide world who wouldn’t be interested in you.”
Stella doubted that immensely, especially in her current state of mind. No amount of Penny’s much appreciated comforting words seemed to have any effect on improving her outlook about herself. “I’m sorry” was all she managed to say, a frown on her face where a beaming smile usually had a permanent residency.
Penny grinned her big, ol’ welcoming grin. “What in the world have you to be sorry about? You are an angel, my Stelly. There is nothing wrong with having moments of self doubt. There is nothing wrong with thinking everything I have said is a lie. But, my Stella-duckling, have I ever lied to you before? Do I not tell you the truth in all things?” She did not reach out for Stella like she wanted to. She did not cradle the girl against her like all of her instincts demanded. Instead, this was something for Stella to figure out. Penny would just be the catalyst to help it along.
She wanted to say that she was sorry for being lowsie company. She wanted to apologize to Penny for being the debbie downer. Penny has been nothing but sweet, supportive, and comforting and all Stella has done was make it seem like it was hopeless. No matter how much so she felt, she just felt even worse that she Penny’s efforts were falling on deaf ears. But there was something that Penny said that seemed to ring true: Penny never did lie to her. Sometimes she was blunt about it, but there was never a moment where she felt like Penny ever lied to her.
As Stella squeezed her hand, her smile returned, albeit not to its former glory but there was no longer a frowning Estelle meeting Penny’s gaze. “Thank you,” she said, giving Penny her gratitude. And in keeping with the spirit of the uniqueness of their friendship, Stella gave Penny a peck on the cheek. “I mean it. Thank you, Penny. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here,” she found herself admitting.
The kiss on her cheek caused a large, feral grin to spread across her face. She wrapped her arms around Stella’s waist and pulled her into her lap. She was now looking up at the girl and snuggled her close. Her fingers trailed up and down her friend’s spine. “Any time, my darling. I live for that smile upon your face.” After a moment of just enjoying Stella’s closeness, she loosened her grip on her waist with another charming smile. “If you ever need a single thing, I am your girl. Why don't you, tomorrow, come and hang out if you have time.”
It had been a while since Stella had been embraced by Penny. They both had been involved in their own spheres, so their best friend bonding time had been sparse. That’s why she appreciated Penny’s company, especially with how flip-floppity she’s been in the past twenty minutes alone. She was blushing just a little bit.
As she stood up, she adjusted her dress to make sure there weren’t any wrinkles “I’d like that very much,” she said, smiling again at Penny, this time a little wider than before. “My Aunt Florence and her family will be leaving in the morning, so I could swing by around the afternoon. Will that be okay?” She asked Penny.
”I would really love that and look forward to seeing you,” she said, letting her dear darling leave her lap. She looked up to her, hands clasped together at her stomach. Was Stella about to go do the thing she needed to do? “Just come over, ring the bell and I’ll come get you. Every single time.” She gave her another wink.
“Sounds like a date!” Stella exclaimed in a familiar tone.
Suddenly, Stella gave Penny a tight hug, wrapping her hands around her. “Again, thank you. I know what I have to do now,” she told her, releasing Penny from her embrace. “I’m gonna find Oliver!”
“Good, am so glad my darling love. You got this.” Another wink and a thumbs up. And, yet again Miss Penny was left alone. Was this to be her life? It seemed older males were the only sort to draw her attention or have their attention drawn to her.