Roleplay Title:
Dumbest au
AKA the superhero with a supervillain best friend au
Roleplay Origin:
Superhero/Supervillain AU
Setting:
AU earth
Characters Involved:
Cepheus Ross - superhero Cepheroth
Julian Ring - supervillain Jecht
Nicolas Marquis - police officer Trixxtal
In a world with superheroes and supervillains, there lived two boys who became childhood friends. As teenagers, both boys developed superpowers. While one set of parents felt delighted for their son, the other pair feared the power their child wielded would lead him to ruin. The boy with the frightened parents was sent far away to live with relatives, but before the boys were forced to say their goodbyes, they promised to "always be friends no matter what". However once they hit adulthood the boys, now young men, would reunite only to discover they had taken separate paths in life.
One walked the path of righteousness to become a superhero. The other walked down the road to a life as a criminal and became a supervillain. Their reunion was a tragic one, friends turned enemies, breaking their promise of eternal friendship.
...Or not.
I. A reunion
Cepheus looked at the cackling supervillain in front of him with disbelief. The man laughed cruelly as he tossed aside a defeated hero like a broken toy into an already crumbled building, which had been in pristine condition this morning until the villain ruined it with his power over electricity. Cepheus should have moved to stop him, or at least attempt to aid his injured comrade...but he did nothing but stare intently at the supervillain.
He wore a top that reminded Cepheus of a star or even a spark of light; the color was a pure white with shades of dark blue zigzagged lines, resembling the electricity he wielded. And down the sides of his black pants it looked like lightning, the same color of his top half of the costume, struck. In the center of his white top an obnoxiously large J, encased around dark blue lightning, was branded and it was the same black color as the mask covering the villain's eyes.
This disguise did not fool Cepheus. It was blatantly obvious to him that the true identity of this supervillain who called himself Jecht was his best friend, Julian.
"Jul-...Jecht!" he called, his voice barely containing the excitement and showed no fear as the villain turned around to face him. There was no reason to be afraid of his closest friend, no matter how many years they had been apart. And by the smile on Jecht's face, Cepheus knew he recognized him too.
"Cece! It's been so long." he greeted cheerfully, as if he had not been wreaking havoc three seconds ago and casually slung his arm over Cepheus' shoulders to pull him into a friendly hug. With a wave of his hand, a large shield of electricity erected around both of them so Jecht could safely ignore any heroes or police officers wanting to subdue him. Chatting with his best friend was obviously more important. "I didn't know you became a hero."
"Yeah, my hero name is Cepheroth," he casually returned Jecht's smile, "And I didn't know you became a villain, either, Julian, or that you returned to the city. Either way...it really is good to see you again."
II. What do you want from McDonalds?
"Man, Cece, I can't believe you kicked my ass that badly. You've gotten way stronger! You're the only hero who'll ever stand a chance against me. All of those other heroes aren't even worth my time, if you weren't there to arrest me, I would have totally won." Despite the fact that he was a prisoner in jail at the moment, the arrogance in Julian's tone came through the receiver and Cepheus felt a strange sense of deja vu.
"Jecht," he spoke, using Julian's villain name because the moron had decided to use his one call at the prison to make small talk with him, "Remember when we went against Skullkracken? You told me I was the only person who could ever win a fight against you, and that nobody in that gang was not worth your time. Then Fenrir kicked your ass. And don't even get me started on the Mancini brothers." he reminded with a hint of exasperation. "Try not to underestimate everybody all the time, alright?"
Jecht scowled at the memory of his youth; he was such an embarrassing idiot. "Back then neither of us had our powers yet! Those losses don't matter anymore, we were untrained kids anyways."he countered, seriously annoyed that he even remembered those damned Mancini kids again.
Cepheus let out a frustrated sigh at his friend's stubborness. "Just...try not to get hurt too badly whenever you do your dumb supervillain things alright? Anyway, I'll visit you later once I'm done cleaning up your mess."
"Wait! Wait! Wait! I called you for a reason, Cece, not just to talk about how you beat me up. Do you want anything from McDonalds?"
"What?" asked Cepheus, bewildered at the random change in subject, "Why?"
"Just humor me for once, please. If you were at McDonalds right now, what would you order?"
He could almost see the grin Jecht probably had over the line and Cepheus suddenly had a bad feeling. "I don't know. A burger and fries?"
"Alright! I'll drop the food off at your house!"
"What?! Jecht, what are you-"
Cepheus suddenly dropped the phone and clutched his ear, after he heard a lould BOOM from Jecht's end of the line. "Ugh, Julian what the hell?" he growled, and bent down to retrieve his cell phone. After that random explosion that he was one hundred percent certain was caused by Jecht, the phone line went dead. He immediately ditched the clean up crew to head home to confront Julian (and he better have picked up the burger and fries for him).
III. Obligatory villain backstory
His parents, in an attempt to prevent him from turning into a supervillain, sent Julian to live with his aunt and uncle. They had many "good reasons" for this, they said, and thought living in the peaceful countryside would be a good influence on him.
Okay, so what if he was the leader of a gang, the infamous FlyingDeath? And that he clearly wanted to get revenge on that bastard Fenrir and the Skullkraken for trying to take his turf?! He had to take care of his friends and territory, obviously. (He totally would have gotten away with stealing all their stuff too, as a great bonus, if it wasn't for the dumb heroes who suddenly showed up.)
Alright, so what if he nearly beat to death the bullies who tormented his best friend, Cepheus?! Of course he would defend him. And he definitely did not care that his parents were upset that he took the time to track down every single one of them and have a "friendly chat" to dissuade any notion of going after Cepheus again. (He totally beat them up, it was so fun! Cepheus lectured him on controlling his anger, and trying to find another way to solve his problems, but he still smiled and gave Julian a high five for that sick move he did against the most annoying bully.)
And so what if he suddenly developed the power to command electricity?! Calling down lightning from the Heavens was awesome, never needing a charger for electronics ever again was awesome, and short circuiting the power of the store so he could steal shit without getting caught on camera was awesome! It's not like he ever used his power to hurt anyone. (He totally wanted to fry that annoying Val-whatever dude in his class, but Cepheus reigned in his temper and kept him from turning into a murderer over a silly thing. Julian did not agree that insulting his taste in music and clothes was a "silly thing" but Cepheus insisted and so he controlled himself.)
The actual final straw for them, however, had not even been the worst thing he had done in Julian's opinion. He just stole his mom's motorcycle...because he wanted to see a superhero vs supervillain fight up close...and when he found them Julian started to cheer on the villain...then he "accidentally" electrocuted the duo of heroes who had been fighting the villain. They were horrified that he supported a notorious criminal, and angry that Julian apparently gave away his phone number and convinced that villain to go on a date with him. (Honestly, with Elijah's pretty silver hair and beautiful blue eyes and the powerful strength he showed, fending off both Lovi Sky and Legacy on his own, how could Julian NOT be attracted to that man) Then he argued with his parents that it wasn't like this was the first time he had dated a supervillain, so it was no big deal! (In hindsight, it had been really dumb of him to mention Keziah and Vittoria) Finding out that this was the third supervillain he had a romantic interest in (he DEFINITELY realized by now that admitting all of those other unrequited crushes on all of those other villains would be a bad idea, and kept his mouth shut) made them panic, they were actually borderline hysteric. The only saving grace about this dumb situation was that his parents encouraged him to stay in contact with Cepheus, who according to them, befriending the kind and responsible boy was the only positive decision Julian had ever done.
So it was with a teary goodbye to his old gang, a cold farewell to his parents, and a heartfelt promise to Cepheus to "always be friends no matter what" that Julian arrived to some obviously boring hick town where Wolfram and Joyce Rutella lived. It only took an hour for him to change his opinion of his aunt and uncle.
Julian was laughing so hard while standing in the hidden lair in their basement, unable to stop because his parents had no idea!!! No idea that Wolfram and Joyce were high ranking members of the most notorious supervillain organization!!! No idea that they had sent him to live with a pair of secret supervillains because they were afraid he would grow up to become a supervillain!!!
He now found the situation hysterical, and the only downside to this now was that Cepheus was not here to experience this hilarious situation with him, and he was forbidden from saying anything about this to his best friend. Julian did not mind keeping this secret, too much. After all, even with Julian's shitty influence on him since childhood, it was obvious to him that Cepheus would eventually grow up to become a superhero.
IV. Thank you for throwing my ass in jail
"Ugh, I can't believe you're throwing my ass in jail, Cece." complained Julian, whining as he watched the police car drive towards them. He looked at the flickering red and blue lights with dread as the vehicle parked. He felt tempted to immediately escape, but Cepheus was still hovering around him to prevent just that, so he could do nothing but stay put for now.
But then, the car doors opened. Julian stared at the man who emerged from the car and honestly wondered if he had just been blessed by a divine act of God.
His heart beat fast as he whispered to Cepheus, "Hey, hey! Cece look at him. Holy shit. That's the most beautiful man I've ever seen, forget what I said earlier, thank you for throwing my ass in jail." Julian silently praised himself for being patient for once. If he had run off like he wanted to, he would have never encountered the attractive police officer who was approaching the two of them.
The officer with the pretty blond hair and the gorgeous eyes wore a standard uniform, but then Julian noted the insignia enseamed into his shirt. This man was a member of the special forces, consisting solely of police officers wielding special powers like any hero or villain. Their job was to arrest the villains defeated by heroes and guard them in prison, which would be too potentially dangerous for a cop without a super power of their own. In a way, they were a subclass of heroes; they even possessed code names just like the heroes and villains. Knowing the attractive man in front of him was probably strong made Julian want him even more.
He heard the melodic voice of the officer as he spoke the Miranda rights and Julian could only sigh dreamily, no longer caring that he was being arrested as long as if it was done by this man. When the angelic voice finished speaking, Julian did not even hesitate to say, "Please, arrest me officer. I'll go with you without resistance. Although maybe you're the real criminal here, because you've stolen my heart."
Cepheus just looked at Julian in disbelief. There had been many "Cece, it's love at first sight, I think I've found the one!!!" in his life but never before had his friend shown interest in anyone who had not been a supervillain. The fact that he had fallen for a random police officer of all things honestly surprised him. The cop just looked bewildered as he moved to handcuff Julian, who looked absolutely thrilled to have the man so close to him. But then Julian opened his mouth once again, clearly not wanting to use his right to remain silent, and continued to flirt with the cop.
"So, Officer Gorgeous, are you single? Want to go on a date?" asked Julian, without a shred of shame. The police officer looked startled while Cepheus cringed and decided he wanted to curl up in an alleyway far away from the foreboding scene he predicted would happen soon.
"The only place I'm taking you is jail." the man finally responded, feeling a bit flustered by Julian but mostly annoyed and confused. He was used to supervillains hating him, or trying to hurt him and evade arrest.
"Alright, it's a date then, Officer Sexy." grinned Julian, it wouldn't be the first date he's spent in a jail anyways, he totally could make this work. "You can call me Jecht, Officer Handsome. By the way, Cepheroth over here terribly injured my leg. I'll need to hold onto you to make it to the car. Actually, maybe you can carry me, both my legs are definitely hurt really badly. That's why I'm not running away. Not that I'd want to run away from you. Or that I could, really. I would need a map anyways, because I'm utterly lost in your eyes, Officer Lovely."
Cepheus changed his mind, what he definitely wanted to do now was crawl into a ditch to die from the second hand embarrassment.
"This is not a date. And do not call me by those names.” the officer firmly stated with a frown, but glanced down at Jecht's legs. There was barely even a speck of dirt on them, let alone blood, so he ignored the earlier comments about injuries that were obviously exaggerated.
Undeterred, Julian's eyes flickered to the badge on the cop's chest. "Oh, then thank you for giving me permission to call you by your name, Officer...Trixxtal." he smirked, his gaze lingering on his chest for a few seconds longer before looking back to Trixxtal's perfect gaze. "Hey, Trixxtal, do you believe in love at first sight-"
Finally fed up with Julian's advances, the police officer suddenly blasted a small stream of water at his face to shut him up. The criminal looked taken aback for a mere moment, not expecting an attack at all, before smiling even brighter at Trixxtal. "Oh my, Trixxtal, already wanting to get me we-"
Trixxtal quickly shoved Julian into the police car and shut the door, not wanting to hear any more from that clearly delusional criminal. Cepheus wished he could burn his own ears off.
V. Movie Night
After breaking out of jail on the day they reunited, Julian realized he had no place to stay so he ended up becoming Cepheus' roommate. Their arrangement worked because they kept their lives as Jecht and Cepheroth away from home. But after Jecht became smitten with Officer Trixxtal, resisting the urge to strangle him was difficult.
"What gift do you think Trixxtal would like?"asked Jecht, not even bothering to pretend he was watching the movie.
"A restraining order from you." Cepheus rubbed his temples. "You're acting like an annoying stalker, Julian. He definitely won't return your feelings if you're being creepy. Actually, he probably won't feel anything for you as long as you remain a supervillain."
Julian looked unconcerned. "I can probably change his mind about the supervillain thing." he said with a nonchalance that irritated Cepheus. "I don't know about the restraining order though...I wouldn't be able to see him. Maybe a pet instead? Like, an exotic one he can't buy anywhere. Do you think he would like a komodo dragon?"
"Why would he want one? Why would you think that's an appropriate gift for anyone?!"
"Well, I think a pet dragon would be sick."
"And illegal. Wait a minute...no absolutely not, I forbid you to smuggle a komodo dragon into my house."
"Aw, come on Cece, live a little."
"...You've already ordered it, haven't you?"
(Later that week, the news reported that the local zoo happily received a komodo dragon rescued by the hero Cepheroth.)
VI. Lunch with the devil
"Hey Trixxtal, do you want some lunch?"
Nicolas stilled as he heard the voice of devil speak and forced himself to slowly turn around. The past month was hell, pure hell, and probably the most annoying assignment he ever had so far and the reason for it was right in front of him. The villain he arrested over and over again wore a police uniform and held a box of pizza in his hands. Nicolas wondered just who those clothes had been stolen from, whose money he stole to pay for the pizza (if he even bothered to pay in the first place, it was entirely possible the poor delivery person was threatened with the fear of god), and just what he had to do and who he had to knock unconscious in order to even reach his office without getting caught. He massaged his temples at the annoyance named Jecht.
"Shouldn't you be in your jail cell?" he asked weakly, wondering why he even bothered to ask by now.
Jecht thought his question amusing, judging by the smug grin on his face, and set the pizza down on his desk. "Those new upgrades to the lock were hardly a challenge for me to overcome," he bragged, as if Nicolas should be impressed at his skill.
"Ugh..." Nicolas groaned, frustrated. What a fucking creep. He had figured it out by now that Jecht only let himself be thrown in jail as an excuse to be around him, and once he went off duty, Jecht immediately escaped as if his prison sentence was optional. Nobody but himself and Cepheroth were capable of arresting Jecht, so Nicolas was stuck dealing with him. EVERY. TIME. "I'm escorting you back, criminal."
"You're so dedicated to your job..." Jecht complimented with a dreamy sigh, "To be willing to arrest me again, even on your lunch break."
Nicolas paused. He took in the aroma of the pizza Jecht brought. "You're right, screw this, I'll deal with you when I'm on duty."
Jecht grinned and took a seat across the desk, uninvited. "I'm so happy we're on this lunch date, Trixxtal."
"This is not a date." Nicolas said reflexively, since he said it nearly everyday, "I'm only letting you stay so I can arrest you in thirty minutes."
Jecht helped himself to some pizza; Nicolas left it untouched. "You're so sweet to make time for me, Trixxtal." he said, not at all phased by the denial.
Nicolas resisted the urge to drown him; submerging his office in water would cost too much out of his paycheck to repair the damages.
VII. A(n) (Un)Pleasant Vacation
He was off duty. Nicolas did not have to deal with him right now. If he somehow evaded him in the lobby of this hotel, and made it to the double doors leading to the beach...he could have a nice relaxing time and forget he ever noticed the last person he wanted to see right now. But life hated him, because as he stared at Jecht from across hall, the man suddenly looked up and they locked eyes. He saw Jecht smile and immediately knew he could not avoid him now, so Nicolas braced himself for another cheesy pick up line.
"You know, Trixxtal...you're like a camera, just looking at you makes me smile. Of course, your own smile is more radiant than mine ever could be. Speaking of cameras, mind if I have a picture? I'd like to prove to my friends that angels exist." Jecht smoothly walked towards him, without a care in the world, and it almost felt surreal for Nicolas to see him in casual clothes instead of his stupid supervillain costume or wearing the prisoner garb.
"I never smile around you," Nicolas denied immediately, "And I'm on vacation, so there is no reason for you to hang around me or for me to be anywhere around you." As long as Jecht was doing nothing blatantly incriminating in front of him, then he never bothered to try arresting the man while off duty; it was largely pointless since Jecht escaped immediately after Nicolas exited the building. And Nicolas did not get paid enough to deal with something so troublesome. "Leave."
"Hm...but won't you feel better when I'm right next to you? You don't have to worry if I'm doing something nefarious in the next room. You could actually enjoy yourself." mused Jecht, and it infuriated Nicolas at how much his stalker seemed to actually understand his thought process. It creeped him out.
"Ugh, why don't you go hang out with Cepheroth? I thought you said he was your best friend, go bother him instead of me!" he snapped. Nicolas honestly did not understand how a superhero and a supervillain could be best friends. Jecht never seemed to care that Cepheroth defeated him or arrested him constantly...actually now that Nicolas thought about it, maybe Jecht liked that since he would get sent to his "beloved Officer Trixxtal".
Nicolas suddenly wished he could forget he ever imagined that; ignorance is bliss.
"Oh, Cece is angry at me right now. He sometimes gets like this after I pull a heist, so I'm avoiding him until he forgives me." Jecht admitted, pouting like a scolded child. Nicolas wondered if he imagined the flicker of fear in Jecht's eyes. Then he realized what the criminal had said.
"Heist?! What hei- actually NO. I do NOT want to hear about this; otherwise I'll feel obligated to do something about it. This is my vacation and I officially do not care what you've been up to or going to do for the rest of the week. And if you're going to follow me to the beach then you are going to sit QUIETLY in the sand, preferably to bury yourself in it and just don't emerge ever, so I can relax."
"Wow, you feel relaxed around me, Trixxtal? Well, then of course I'll join you. Go choose a spot for our date and I'll pick up some ice cream." Jecht easily twisted his words once again, and Nicolas didn't bother responding to him. He stormed towards the beach while Jecht made his way to hotel store and did not bother asking for a certain kind or flavor, because Jecht probably already knew what his favorite was.
(Nicolas did not dare think about Jecht most likely stealing them. This week was his week to NOT CARE.)
VIII. Latte
"Cece! I got you this latte as an apology! I'm sorry you had to leave your concert early to come arrest me because I was robbing that bank..."Julian trailed off awkwardly, presenting Cepheus with a venti sized cup.
But Cepheus tentatively eyed the latte sitting in Julian's hands. He did not move from his seat on the sofa. "What is the name on that cup?" he asked briskly, and he saw Julian squirm as he covered the black scribbles with his hand. Julian opened his mouth and felt tempted to evade the question or lie, but Cepheus gave him an icy look, so he closed his mouth. There was an uncomfortable pause.
"...Ethan." he admitted with great hesitance, after enduring Cepheus' cold glare for a good solid minute. "Alright, I stole it, but he didn't show up after like five seconds so I didn't want it to go to waste!"
Cepheus stood up. He slowly walked towards Julian and calmly pried the stolen latte from his hands. He stared at the drink without saying a word and the awkward, discomforting silence from before returned with full force. Julian began to sweat as he watched Cepheus, who continued standing in front of him with a sinister calm aura.
Which was why Julian got caught completely off guard when he felt the cold drink suddenly dumped all over his head. "Ahhhh Cece what the hell?!" he cried, wiping his eyes, feeling them sting as the liquid got into his eyes. "No, my poor hair!"
He heard a snap and turned towards the sound, a sickening foreboding feeling in his gut about what just happened. And to his horror, like he suspected there was a phone in Cepheus' hand. His best friend had a smirk on his face, recognizable to him as the look from their childhood when Cepheus got revenge on him for whatever bullshit Julian dragged him into.
"I think I'll send this picture to your 'true love'." he taunted, immediately inciting panic in Julian.
"What?! But I look so gross! Trixxtal can't see me like this! CECE!" cried Julian, the thought of Trixxtal seeing him looking anything but cool horrified him.
But Cepheus just laughed evily, as if he was the one who was the supervillain in the room. "Its too late, I've already sent it. But don't worry, I forgive you now."
"CECE!!! Ugh...wait, why do you have Trixxtal's number?!"
IX. Phone Calls
Cepheroth had formed an odd sort of camaraderie with Officer Trixxtal. They bonded over the fact that they were the only ones who could successfully deal with Jecht's bullshit.
Cepheus covered for Julian often when they were children and he regretted his actions now that he looked back as an adult. Because of Cepheus, Julian hardly ever had to face punishment or consequences of his actions and his friend learned to do what he wanted. And now, Julian became the supervillain Jecht who thought prison was optional and did not feel much remorse for any of his crimes. But now it is because Cepheus is his friend that he continues to arrest Jecht as the superhero Cepheroth. They were not children any more, and adults had to face responsibility for their actions. Still...he was still rather lenient with his friend. His standard of good behavior was so low that Cepheus felt Julian committing minor crimes were "not that bad". He only stopped him when he did something ridiculous like destroying buildings, robbing places, or assassinating people he did not like. Most of the time now, Cepheus could successfully defeat him.
But there was one thing Cepheus was utterly failing at, and that was convincing Julian to leave Officer Trixxtal alone and to stop being a creep. And it was that guilt that drove Cepheus to be willing to listen to any rant the police officer had about Jecht.
"Your insane friend found my mother on Facebook and they're chatting each other up like old friends, sharing pasta recipes or something!" hissed Trixxtal, and Cepheus winced and slightly pulled his ear from the phone. The yells were badly hurting his ears. "My mother apparently thinks he is the greatest thing ever and told me she was disappointed that I won't accept that lunatic as my boyfriend. I told her that Jecht was a dangerous supervillain, you know what she told me? She said that I have a thing for bad boys anyways so she can't see why that's a reason to I dislike him, can you believe that?!"
"I'm so sorry Trixxtal, I've tried to stop him..." Cepheus apologized, but if he was heard then he was ignored, and the rant continued.
"Don't even get me started on my nephew! Tori likes him even more than my mother does, and told me to marry him already so that he could be related to a cool supervillain," he seethed, "He bragged about how Jecht came to his house to teach him and his friends how to fight properly. What the hell? When did Jecht become cozy with my family?! Wait, does this mean he's figured out my real name..." He sounded completely freaked out.
It was at that moment Julian strolled into the living room, also on the phone, "Madeline, the Coq Au Vin turned out great! It was even better than last week's crepes recipe. Thank you so much...maman?...are you sure? Ah, I'm so happy you practically think of me as family already, maman! So, the next one you want me to try is Chicken Fricassee?"
Cepheus stared as Julian walked past him, hearing him speak somewhat politely for the first time in his life. As Julian's voice trailed away Cepheus gathered the courage to ask Trixxtal, "Uh, is your mother's name Madeline? Because I think Jecht is on the phone with her right now, he just called her maman-"
"WHAT?!"
X. Grocery Shopping
"Haha, hey there Cece!" grinned Julian, waving at Cepheus with one hand while his free arm pushed the shopping cart in front of him. Cepheus saw that the idiot was clad in his supervillain outfit, apparently not even bothering to change into civilian clothes before grocery shopping. Several other customers, easily recognizing Julian as the supervillain Jecht, fearfully rushed away from him and scattered into the many different aisles.
Cepheus took one look at his best friend and let out an exasperated sigh, then pinched the bridge of his nose. All he had wanted to do today was pick up some cheap food to eat before he went on patrol. "You broke out again?" he asked, frustrated but not in the least bit surprised to see Julian in front of him. Just last Friday he had thrown Jecht in jail and Cepheus miraculously enjoyed a relaxing weekend, having the house all to himself due to Officer Trixxtal having overtime at the prison, but it looked like his peace had ended. Clearly, this was yet another reason to hate Mondays.
"Yeah, I got bored." Julian replied nonchalantly, instantly falling into step beside Cepheus. "Trixxtal left our date early, so I didn't bother staying." A fond smile was on his lips.
Cepheus rolled his eyes as Julian gave his reasoning and chucked his shopping basket into his friends cart, since they lived together anyways. "Officer Trixxtal is the prison guard, idiot, he's not spending time near your cell because he likes you." he reminded, futilely, knowing Julian would continue to pursue the man. He had repeated this every day for the past few months.
Julian walked with him towards the register and casually pulled out a gun at the frightened cashier. "They are dates, Cece. I planned every single one of them and I give him gifts and everything!"
And just as casually as Julian was when the weapon was pulled, Cepheus calmly grabbed the gun from his hand and took it away from him. He stuffed it into the shopping cart, next to some of Jecht's groceries. "We already have two cartons of milk in the fridge, why are you picking up more?!" he complained, eyeing the milk as if it was a nuisance. "And I am one hundred percent sure Officer Trixxtal does not want any of that junk you stole." he retorted, then moved to snatch a random kitchen knife from Julian's hands. Careful not to accidentally cut himself, Cepheus chucked the knife next to the discarded gun.
Unconcerned by Cepheus' stops to his criminal activity, Julian reached out for his friend's pocket to obtain his wallet, but this time the hero made no movement to stop him. "Because Trixxtal loves milk! When I found him at the bar, he told me he needed some." Julian gave Cepheus a look, as if "Duh", he should have obviously known that. "And I'm pretty sure he liked that priceless pocket watch I gave him. It took a lot of effort to steal that from the museum and keep it hidden until I got to me and Trixxtal's cell, you know. You nearly confiscated it along with the other stuff you returned to the place." he said with pride, stepping behind the now abandoned register that the cashier had long fled from, and swiped Cepheus' credit card to pay for the groceries.
"Julian, he was only happy because now he could return it to the museum." he pointed out, but Julian paid no attention to him because as if Julian could sense his presence, through the doors emerged Officer Trixxtal. The man's guarded expression immediately shifted to annoyance and the tension in his shoulders seemed to leave him the moment he spotted Julian.
"Even for a regular crime, I run into you." the police officer grumbled, but Cepheus could hear him with his enhanced hearing. "Jecht, you're under arrest." He sounded resigned.
Unsurprisingly, Julian's face brightened at the words. "Trixxtal, I'm so happy to see you!" he greeted the unhappy cop, who dully recited the Miranda rights that Julian was listening to, he would always stop to listen to Trixxtal's wonderful voice. But instead of immediately running to flirt with the officer, both Cepheus and Trixxtal looked surprised to see Julian reach into the shopping cart and pull out a bouquet of roses. "These are for you! I even paid for them. A legal gift, just like you wanted."
The police officer hesitantly accepted the flowers, having enough experience by now that Jecht would only act more annoying and insistent if he did not take them. He could just throw them into he trash later anyways. "I didn't say I wanted anything from you." he retorted, placing the handcuffs on the thrilled villain.
Cepheus rolled his eyes at this stupid scene, because it was his money Julian used, and if he had not coincidentally ran into him then Julian would have totally stole them.
"See you later, Cece! Put away the groceries, will you? Thanks! I'll tell you how our date goes." happily exclaimed Julian, who was being escorted out of the store and back to jail by Trixxtal, who now just looked really tired.