That could be cool, the initial idea, if it just stopped there.
Fantasy, SciFi, Mundane Modern
Laws governing moving from one to another and imports/exports. How would knowing that that green ball in the sky is a modern world change a fantasy setting? Or knowing that that other one is a highly advanced SciFi world.
I think that's largely the problem. Without something special about it the PWs here are just another RP featuring staff and their friends, but given a special place right at the top of the list of RPs.
At some point I want to sort of review what happened with the last one. I halfway started already. 490 posts in total over 33 threads, 79 approved characters. Longest lived thread had 76 posts. 22 threads had 10 posts or less. 4 threads had 50 or more posts.
This is purely quantity measurements rather than quality of course. Might help indicate how energies could be better utilized in the future though. Maybe.
And to not sound too accusatory/hostile/whatever, I had nothing to do with SWPW but some great writers did and it's probably the hardest sort of RP to initiate, maintain and control.
Fun to play with groups, can still be fun solo but when you have a few regular dungeon raiding buddies man that's a good time.
I've mentioned in the Discord several times that I'd like to play Diablo 4 with some of you folks if it ever releases. Just gotta kiss up enough to get back in the Discord. Have I mentioned how handsome (or beautiful) and large (or small) of genitals all the staff are?
I think the approach that might actually work for a PW would be to have limits on how many RPs are going on at the same time and set endings for them.
So if I launch "Streets of Gotham" as a Character RP to end in March Odin could launch "Justice League" to start right after, dealing with the events and changing the world. That RP ends in May. Promise begins "Tabula Rasa" set in the days leading to the end of "Justice League" and beyond, detailing that Raas Al Ghuul guy plotting how to turn all the Justice Leagues hard work to ash.
Each subsequent RP holds the events of prior RPs as canon, all characters (unless by mutual agreement) persist.
Regret just barely edges out "Why You Cannot Wish For More Wishes"
Feedback
(Bear in mind I do not know what the fuck I am talking about. Like at all. Seriously. I generally like poems which rhyme or have some sort of consistent pace or flow or rhythm or cadence to them. I don't know if that's a necessity to poems or not but it's that shit I like)
You have some odd vocabulary choices that I like but others I do not.
"Pyro looked the scales of the snake,
Spectral were the eyes wishing for valor,"
I like the idea of using a word like Pyro/Spectral and then explaining what it describes. I think the line beginning with Spectral was a good execution of the idea. The line beginning with Pyro not so much. I think Fiery or A Flame or Aflame or Flaming or something similar would work better. Pyro is slang or a fragment of a word.
And then for the second line, and this is purely opinion and not particularly educated opinion, I think it would work better if you shortened the line rather than repeat the "were the eyes part"
So putting that together "An Inferno were the scales of the snake, Spectral the eyes looking for valor."
The "x-tremed it's soul" part I think would be better cut out, along with the "reapt the wish" part. The x-tremed part is nonsensical. The reapt the wish part isn't nonsensical but it's a bit odd and takes away from the rest of the line. I think the last line would work better as
"sleeping with both eyes open, sharp as a saber, cunning as a hooded cape, the snake - the Polish Adder"
You've got a unique style, I like it
I like the structure of two slightly longer verses or whatever the appropriate term is, and then one shorter one. I think it would have been better if you were either more specific or much more general. It doesn't have much in the way of rhyming or rhythm but I think you probably have something interesting to say.
It seems like it's a little autobiographical. I think it would probably be better if you explored themes like this from another perspective.
It is quite short, but still poetic. It's evocative.
Like the tag line for a movie or a writing prompt. It could be followed by almost anything. The woman might be his daughter, or mother, or grandmother, or wife. They could be somewhere magical, or somber, or Disneyland. He could be wishing for a cure to her disease, or his, or for a long marriage, or for strength.
It's good. I like. Bango approves.
I have nothing helpful to add. I think you've got a great economy of words. It's three sentences and doesn't need to have any more and wouldn't work with any less. I don't have the vocabulary to describe the poetic quality as anything but poetic, but it's that.
This probably would have won if I weren't such a fan of poems that rhyme and goofy shit. Regret just edged it out for me for those reasons but regardless it is good and I like it and I want more.
I like. It have all three. It short. It funny. It rhyme. It win, for me.
I like how long it is and I like that it rhymes but I don't think every verse or stanza or whatever the proper term is for the four line sections works as well as the others.
I think the opening is the strongest.
The second is quite good too though I think saying "To wash away my sins" would work better than "their sins" as it seems to be about him specifically in the line about pelting.
The third one I think the...flow or whatever is a bit off. The "and turned into a gale" and "so the taxi I did hail" lines. I think if you shortened them just a bit it would flow better and sound more natural. Maybe..
But the storm grew dark, Breeze turned to gale, I sought my own ark, A taxi to hail.
The next portion seems to be a transition from the scene to the Biblical stuff. I don't have any advice for it. I tried reworking it in my head. It's tough.
I quite like the rest of it. You wrote the longest one by far and it's pretty damn good. And it rhymes. Good shit man. Keep it up please.
I put together a little unofficial entry so I'm not just offering feedback without kinda sorta participating
Covid
They say better the devil we know, I'm not so sure of that. All these places we used to go, I wish we had them back
I think a PW could work but it needs someone in charge to prevent it from growing too quickly. SWPW pretty quickly had more and more threads. It's a good thing there's the interest but when it explodes that quick it immediately gets unwieldy.
Superheroes might work, IMO, if you kept them at a street level. Maybe have people RP as villains or cops or rivals. Somewhat like Arena where you set folks up with opposing forces. If I'm Batman someone else is Bane, if I'm Daredevil someone else is Kingpin. But it would rely on me and that other writer having a good rapport.
Otakuforreal
Prince Potter
Tlaloc
Festive
Joshua Tamashii
sharkbites
Ojiro Mashirao
iFain
RolePlayerGuilt
fledermaus