BangoSkank

Why I Roleplay Female Characters (As a Cisgender Man)

I'm glad we can all discuss this like adults. You know some real mature, open minded, slightly opposing viewpoints while finding a reasonable middle ground and respecting how we differ from one another. Some real kumbayah stuff.

Now I can I get more details on this scary lady that's stepping on people? Hook a Bango up.

Perchance! A Persistently Preposterous Perfidy of Petulant Pugilism : Moldovan Masked and Mustachioed Muscle Man from Mount Magora MEETS MOLE-MAN!!!!!

Giuseppe and Annaliesse are really the stars of the show. I hope they work out their differences. Tandi, Randi, and Ghandi are good kids. They deserve a good family.

I'll post more today or tomorrow. I really didn't expect such a rapid back and forth. I usually post once or twice a week. It's been fun as hell though; and I love that you caught that stupid shit I was doing with the names for the announcers. I read that thing you did with "Astonishing" and had a dumb idea and wrote it down in my phone before I went to sleep...and then I got FOMO. Didn't want to wake up in the morning not remembering my dumb ass idea right.

Next up I see them pulling a Spanish Announcer table out of the crowd. Then some Mole Men show up to take over announcing duties while Alejandro and Guillemot bitterly bicker about where their Make Up Dinner will be. Something about Danger Danger being confused and/or infuriated. Maybe an interference. Maybe another song. Maybe a guest spot. Maybe a little Fourth Wall Fuckery.

Shhhh I'm using this to make notes for my next post so I don't forget
DBZ combo move or whatever they call it when two characters dance around and morph into one. Tequila + Fully SemiAutomatic 30 Clip Mag A Second Ghost Gun with a Bump Stock = Hugh Capacity Long Range alcohol dispenser

Why I Roleplay Female Characters (As a Cisgender Man)

Try doing an unusual race Saiyan.

There are folks who hyper sexualize any female being but it might be easier for you if you write as like an Argonian, or Khajit, or Dwarf, or Halfling woman. I did a similar thing to stop writing block head bad asses by writing a lot of doctors and reporters and detectives and just general non-warriors.

Turns out they're a lot of fun to write.

The female character I want to write is a combination of both those things - non-combatant and a non-human non-sexpot woman. Nice to explore new territory.

Or take it to an extreme and do a basic parody/exploitation/deconstruction of the sexpot bad ass fantasy girl. That could be fun too.

A New Person

Great place for a fantasy fan.

Lots of Elder Scrolls and Warhammer Fantasy RPs. A good few Pen and Paper RPs. Did my first one here.

There are relatively often also Isekai RPs set in fantasy worlds. Maybe Isekai is always fantasy, I don't know, but it's a fun way to start a Stranger in a Strange Land type story.

Cheers NoChill.

Cowabunga!

1980s Turtles are best Turtles.

Period.

Perchance! A Persistently Preposterous Perfidy of Petulant Pugilism : Moldovan Masked and Mustachioed Muscle Man from Mount Magora MEETS MOLE-MAN!!!!!

Pirouetting Perilously through the air they Crash with a Considerable Cacophony Causing our Champion to have a Close Call with Crapping himself.

Astonishing!
Astounding!
Astonishing!
Incredible!
Astonishing!
Inconceivable!
Astonishing!

Moving the Mic away from his mouth one announcer, Adam, whispers to the other, "Listen Greg you Gotta Step your Game up, this shit won't do. Work on your fucking vocabulary man, be a fucking professional for fucks sake, this isn't fucking Bingo night Back in Baltimore, this is the Big League."

Greg sits there with a stupid fucking grin on his face, maintaining his composure. Shaking his head Adam moves the mic back

Impossible!
Improbable!
Illogical!
Irresponsible!
Huh, what are you-

Aggressively Adam interrupts, this time on the mic.

"Greg you're better than this. It's clearly not impossible that's a nonsensical response you're trying to get all fucking cutesy and I don't like it. The same letter thing is only funny if it makes sense. You're being ridiculous. This is our goddam careers take it seriously. Don't you fucking Drag me Down to the Dregs with you."

"Oh my god Alan. This is about Denver again? Always Denver, I swear to Deity you Do this every fucking time. It's always like this I can't fucking work like this do you know how much this shit stresses me out? Do you fucking care?"

"It's not always like this Glen listen-"

"If you're so unhappy why don't you stop wasting both of our lives and just leave?"

"I could never leave you Gary, listen..."

The lights flicker off one by one until there is only one light, shining down on Aaron as he begins the duet.

"I may not always love you"

Tears in his eyes Gaston picks up the next line. As the light moves to him.

"But as long as there are stars above you"

"You'll never need to doubt it"

"I'll make you so sure about it"

Together they sing

"And God only knows what I'd be without you."

And then a chorus of motherfucking mole men and mole women...mole persons I guess. Mole People? Fuck I don't know. A bunch of humanoid mole things. That. They all sing that whole song. It is beautiful. Breathtaking.

In one Magical Momentous Moment they kiss and the whole world stops.

"What the fuck Adam what are we doing"

"Greg, what wha..why are we doing this"

"I don't know I'm not like that."

"Me neither. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Absolutely not. We're both married. To each other."

"Ok ok this is fine."

"Super fine."

Yeah yeah. We can still work together."

"Definitely."

"Cool."

"Cool."

"Cool cool cool."

"Super cool."

"So cool."

"I still get visitation every other weekend right? You know how important Andy, Sandy and Mandy are to me."

"Yeah yeah, of course. I would never take that from you. The kids love you."

"Ok cool."

"Yeah. Cool. So."

"Beach Boys are great right?"

"So great."

"So great."

"American classics."

"A national treasure."

"You're fucking A right they are."

Coming to on the floor, Bleeding his own Blood, Certainly Concussed, and at the Moment being Mercilessly Mauled and Man Handled by the Mole Man, Danger, Danger Fontaine Must Maintain his Masculinity and Manage to Make this the turning point of the Match. After that he should probably see a therapist or at least quit the Ketamine.

"C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker" he shouts for some reason and begins headbutting the general cranium region of MOLE-MAN. As is traditional when performing a headbutt.

Perchance! A Persistently Preposterous Perfidy of Petulant Pugilism : Moldovan Masked and Mustachioed Muscle Man from Mount Magora MEETS MOLE-MAN!!!!!

Staggeringly, his Stability Stressed, Stumbling the Celebrated Champion and Regal Re...Ra.... Royal Registered pResident of the Ring Rapidly Exits Said Ring Entirely of his own volition. He Definitely Did that on Purpose. I Promise.

What an Unprecedented Utilization of a most Unregistered weaponry. Unusual to say the least.

The Immovable Object has met the Irresistible Force. Who Might have iMagined, a Mole Man. THE Mole Man, MOLE-MAN, Malodorous and Mighty Man Mole!

"He was Clearly Cheating!" Danger, Danger Fontaine Cried to a Crowing Crowd.

Despite their Deliberate inDifference and general Doubting expressions Danger, Danger Fontaine knew in his heart of heart and kidney of kidneys that the Crowd Could see the Credulity of his Complaint. Flying Tackle Charge? Nonsense. That wasn't in the movelist. He had all the DLCs too. There was a Top Rope Flying Charge. A Tackling Charge. A Charging Tackle. No Flying Tackle Charge!

"ILLEGITIMATE! ILLEGITIMATE!" Danger, Danger Fontaine wisely and Bravely Brought the matter to the Announcer's Attention.

They just kinda shook their heads. It was a no. MOLE-MAN was good. Everyone knows the only rules in both the Human Wrestling League For Humans and the Monthly Mole Man Motivational Invitational is that there are no rules. Other than that first rule, the one that there are no rules. That's the only one.

"FUUUUUUUCK. Fine."

Danger, Danger Fontaine Valiantly Vaulted To The Tippity Toppity Tippity Top of The Turnbuckle and Executed an Exemplary Elbow Drop Aiming to Assault the Mole Man MOLE-MAN right on the Tippity Fuckin' Top of his stupid fuck Mole Man head.

But would it land? Would the Mole Man Maneuver Making him Miss? Perhaps the Man of La Mole-a May Suddenly Slip Clear of the Colossal Catastrophic Crush of a Conundrum of Realizing Rhyming gets Really hard. Not that that rhymed. It just started with the same letter, sometimes. Fuck.

Still Something Cool would Surely oCcur. Ooooo, that was Kinda Kool. I liked that.

Perchance! A Persistently Preposterous Perfidy of Petulant Pugilism : Moldovan Masked and Mustachioed Muscle Man from Mount Magora MEETS MOLE-MAN!!!!!

Very masculinely Danger, Danger Fontaine covers his ears against the Rancorous upRoar Of the Onslaught of the Oration of the MOLE-MAN's MOLEY MANAGER, MOLE-MANAGER.

Seeking out some Semblance of Sentient thought in the Man so Monikered as MOLE-MANAGER, MANAGER OF MOLE-MAN, he squints and considers his Fearsome Foe. More specifically his Fearsome Foe's MANAGER. Small and black, like a thing which is both small and black. It is said by some braniac fuck or another that when you gaze into the void you must be careful because the void stares back, but when Danger, Danger Fontaine stares into the black void that is the eyes of MOLE-MANAGER all he sees is small and black. And probably blind. And also a little bit of dirt. He should probably get some artificial tear drops for that, after Danger, Danger Fontaine beats the ever living shit out of the MOLE-MAN and collects a Mountain of Money.

"MOLE MAN has MANAGED a MOLE-MANAGER? But can MOLE-MANAGER MANAGE?" he Confidently Cuestioned as he sized up his opponent and laughed very derisively.

"Taste my Fucking Foot Foul Fiend!" he shouted as he jumped high and valiantly Prepared a Punishing Dropkick for the Distracted Digging obsessed Maybe/Maybe Not Marsupial Mole Man, MOLE-MAN.

At last the Battle has Begun.

Perchance! A Persistently Preposterous Perfidy of Petulant Pugilism : Moldovan Masked and Mustachioed Muscle Man from Mount Magora MEETS MOLE-MAN!!!!!

The greatest song ever written begins to play. Immediately distinguishable. Totally and fully bad ass. Universally beloved. It catches your attention before your stupid idiot brain has even really processed the first note. That's how stupid you are and how ridiculously good this song is. You should probably pray to whatever Deity you believe in right the hell now and thank him or her, but realistically he, for allowing you to have working ears at a time and place that would allow you to bask in the Goddam Glory that is the intro song for Danger, Danger Fontaine.

What's that you feel? Yeah that's right. The auditory part of your brain, the part that hears shit I mean, it just got pregnant. You're welcome.

At an appropriate time Danger, Danger Fontaine slides out just as his song hits a high note. Not literally a high note, like not musically high like an alto or whatever, but at an opportune time where it makes his sudden appearance just a little bit more bad ass. Yeah that's right it can always get better. I know, I know, it is hard to believe.

Anyway, dude slides out all cool like and does a little dance. It's both sexually arousing and also like platonically arousing at the same time. It lifts your spirits and other stuff too probably. Everyone is excited to see him. He's so cool. His grocery cart full of weapons, that is also the coolest grocery cart you have ever seen. Can you say what makes it so cool? No, no you probably can't, you moron, but wow it's so cool. Even that live lobster, confused as it appears, is impossibly cool. What a rad guy.

"Cut the music! Cut the fucking music!" Danger, Danger Fontaine screams very cooly after reaching the ring.

He poses in silence for a little while. Also in a very cool way.

"Anyone out there think they can take me?" he asks the crowd.

"Anyone out there think they can Match up to the Masked and Mustachioed Muscle Man of Mount Medulla? Now is your time! Step up peons!"

He stomps around the ring, pointing into the crowd. Questioning various fans, both men and women, about their masculinity and the size of their genitalia and/or brains. It's pretty cool, he's a cool guy.

"Hey!" he shouts as the ring begins to rumble. "Hey what the fuck is that?"

The ring shakes hard, Making his Marbled Musculature and Magnificent Mustache Shake Seductively. Very cool.

The center of the ring shakes a bit harder before a clawed hand rips up from under the mat.

"Ahhhhh!" he shouts very masculinely.

The clawed hand rips a line down the center and then out he crawls.

"MOLE MAN! You dare challenge the Mountain of Moldova? Meet your Maker!"

He waves to the announcers.

"Hey, hey, find this Mole Man a Manager, can't make Money without a Manager. Danger, Danger Fontaine Don't Fight For Free."

Cowabunga!

Shell Yeah Brother. It's Turtle Time.

I too am a total dork.

There are a good few folks here who are good ass writers and often write in comic book settings. Sometimes I try to list a few of them but I usually end up feeling like a dick because the list is too long and I don't want to leave anyone out.

Take a look at some of these for a list of folks to maybe write with, or be like me and mostly just read what they write and try to come up with an idea but miss every single deadline because you're scared of commitment because Sean Fitzgerald bullied you on the playground in 6th Grade and now you don...

Anyway only the first one, Ruby's, is active but the others have some great writing and some great writers

Ruby/Ezekiel
roleplayerguild.com/topics/188543-mar…

Master Bruce/Lord Wraith
roleplayerguild.com/topics/188099-one…

TGM/Hound55/Bounce
roleplayerguild.com/topics/184718/ic

If none of those spike your interest we can't be friends. I'm lying, we still can be friends. One day I want to start an RP about the Department of Multi-Dimensional Time Police Who Know Karate And Maybe Magic. The DMDTPWKKAMM. Let's do it.