Bork Lazer

Wal Quest - Interactive Post Apocalyptic Quest

Third post has begun. Same protocol as the others.

Wal Quest - Interactive Post Apocalyptic Quest

[X] - An origami pinwheel flower - [3]

[X] - Politely refuse the gift. - [3]
[X] - Accept the gift - [2]

[X] - A splintered shield lanced through by two color pencils in a criss cross [1]

[X] - Smears of bright cherry pink awkwardly shaped into a smiley face [1]

---

Bloody zealots. Years of hard coded samurai conditioning that scream at you to cut the raider down are kept at bay by your senses. You remember the fire again, only this time, with the flag of the Smilers flapping overhead, a crescent black grin scrawled from burnt Play Doh over a jaundiced face. The way they tortured and killed your fellow Samurai in your clan without honour…….

You snort at the religious article with contempt and then, at the boy with pity. He was fresh stocked, an aisler who shouldn’t have been concerned about the concept of their own expiration date much less involved in religious cults. You hold the sympathy boiling in your heart and crush it underneath the cold hammer of reason. As much as you despised the Smilers, you didn’t want to anger them unnecessarily.

“ My apologies, but I was raised a Brandist, not as one of your flock.” You half-lied. “ Perhaps, your gift would be better served in the hands of someone more worthy than me.”

You didn’t get any reply. Instead, the boy's eyes shone with an eerie glint of rage, glowering at you in silence. He somehow stared straight into your pupils, even though they were hidden underneath the bulky rim of your helm. His stilted expression then morphed back into a cheery smile. “ Oh, no worries, good sir. You’ll accept his touch one day.” His voice lowered down an octave, taking on a sinister air. “ They all do.”

He then looked back at the priest who said something that made the crowd whisper in excitement. The boy gasped. “ Prayer’s about to begin!” He then bowed towards you. “ May low prices bless your future, good sir!”

Before you could say a goodbye, the young cultist disappeared into the crowd which began the process of singing a hymn. Well, that was strange. As you walk away, the singing became frenzied chanting, transforming into a cacophony of deranged shrieking and screaming, with the same three words uttered out loud.

“ ALWAYS LOW PRICES! ALWAYS LOW PRICES! ALWAYS LOW PRICES! ”

---

You arrive at the Upper Shelves. Located at the north of the Bargain Bin, they stood high above the rickety shacks and hovels that everyone made for themselves. Only a few powerful individuals could afford to live on an abandoned Shelf. You were about to find out what type of player your client was.

You stared up at the Shelf as you stood at one of its four barrel sized pillars. It was raised sky high, just stopping halfway near the Roof of the Wal’s superstructure. Ropes or makeshift ladders were usually used by most lesser Departments to navigate a Shelf but this Shelf instead used a flattened cardboard pallet that was connected by gummy worms to a pulley system. As you waited in line, the platform jerkily shifted up as shopping cart sized rats provided the force to lift it, egged on by armored guards wielding whips made from fishing hooks.

“ Stop.” One of the guards says as you approach. “ You are required to hand over your weapon to us.”

“ Like I would want your filthy hands to desecrate my blessed weapon.” You take a step back. “ You push me too far, swine.”

The guards proceed to part their coats and your eyes widen. Overcharged maglites from the Tronic Temple. One flick of the switch and not all the origami in the world could save your flesh from being char broiled.

Sighing, you glumly take off your prized weapon, the one that has served you well throughout the horrors of the Wal and surrender it to the guards.

[X] - Ivory Crane, a monstrously huge paper odachi that is said to be crafted from compressed origami sheets. It is relatively lightweight for its enormous size but is considered to be unwieldy in close quarters. It more than makes up for it with a blade that can bisect a Stocker in half with enough force. It has seen battle with the edge have dulled over years of usage.

[X] - A bundle of foiled origami paper that is razor sharp yet fragile at the same time. Your elders refer to this weapon as the Death of a Thousand Folds. You have been trained to fold the material into a variety of thrown implements from kunai, shuriken to paper airplanes to small hand held implements. You now only possess 186 sheafs out of the original thousand originally given to you.

[X] - An oversized ream of gift paper utilised by the Sakura Clan and perhaps, their most unique implement. This paper possesses remarkable tensile strength and you are trained to unfurl it and furl it back during combat, using it as an oversized whip to immobilize opponents. Its true ability lies however in your ability to use it to construct makeshift structures in a matter of seconds. When all else fails though, you can use the Wrap of War as a solid bludgeoning instrument.

Why Is No One Joining My RP (General Advice Thread)

TL;DR: This thread.

Wal Quest - Interactive Post Apocalyptic Quest

Voting will close in one hour. Anyone looking to tip the scales should do so now!

Why Is No One Joining My RP (General Advice Thread)

299 Posts, 1317 Days and Ive never GMed an RP that got past 3 Pages.

Behold Gods Second Greatest Mistake

@BangoSkank

Dude, you're responsible for making this goddamn thread that blew past 5 pages in the span of 6 hours to humor this chap.

That's a fucking achievement right there.

Why Is No One Joining My RP (General Advice Thread)

You must first recognise that play by post roleplaying on a forum such as this and many others such as RPNation and Iwaku are inherently mercurial and chaotic in nature. Posters are not electronic robots that you encounter on the wild wastes of the internet. They are people. We have made this grave for ourselves whereby we value some abstract concept of literary quality as the marker of a good RP. There are multiple factors that make a good RP and focusing inherently on one single factor does nothing good for you.

Blaming them for the failure of your RP is about as useful as blaming water for being wet. It’s redundant at best.

Ultimately, I would encourage everyone that the best way to get more out of this hobby is to learn and adapt. Staying stagnant with one single routine and one single fandom and trying to get people to fit within a mold that you have crafted isn’t the best approach. Join other RPs. Learn from other successful posters. Try to have fun. Learn from your failures. Failure is a teacher whose lessons are not always obvious at first but it’s up to you whether or not to take those lessons to heart.

Wal Quest - Interactive Post Apocalyptic Quest

Hey, guys, Voting closes in about 10 hours so if you want to get your voice in, vote now!

The Cherridome: CHING SHIH, EAT YOUR HEART OUT: IT'S PIRATES

Goddamn, these are all equally excellent but I gotta go with the second one as well. I need that eye-patch.

Wal Quest - Interactive Post Apocalyptic Quest

Second post is out. Keep in mind that this time you must vote for both choices this time. You may notice a write-in option. Keep in mind that when you propose a write-in action, it must be agreed upon by other voters in the thread in order to be considered.

Wal Quest - Interactive Post Apocalyptic Quest

[2] - “ Far from home, samurai? We’ll know who to look for if someone finds a headless body in town. Next! ”

[1] - “ Why would you travel to a backwater hole such as this, tron? Next!”

[1] - “ Don’t let your pet beast cause any trouble in town and we’ll get along just fine. Next!”

---

Narrowing your eyes at his flippant comment, you wait for him to sign off the rest of your papers. You swipe the package off the counter as you make your way towards the exit. Well, you would have but your hips bang into the turnstile. You push but it doesn’t budge. Sighing, you lean your shoulder into it until the rusty metal creaks and finally gives way, making you stumble as it allows you past.

A hideous smell breaks your line of thought, the eye-watering smog of burnt plastic and rubber leaving you gagging and coughing. You wipe away the tears and spot the source. A large inferno on one of the guard posts on the eastern entrance. You hear one guard rushing past you shout out something about “ Damned nevergrow!”. He whistles and a ten man group rushed behind him in formation, armed to the brim with grill gloves. The bright glow flickers and wavers in your entranced eyes, melting the acrylic into a bubbling froth. The embers whip wildly back and forth like kites under an air conditioned wind. The dance of orange and red is not new to you. It is something you are familiar with, the burning. It was inescapable during the Black Friday.

Memories rush forth like people’s craft was smote to ruins, all your efforts to protect and fight for your clan gone in a single war. You unclasp the honour badge from the sling that held your scabbard, the symbol that you dedicated your life towards in your hand. You saw………

Choose what you see.

[X] - A splintered shield lanced through by two color pencils in a criss cross.

You were a retainer of Clan Faber-Castell, one of the five founding clans of the Stationary Shogunate. As such, they wield considerable military and political power, having incorporated the territories of many minor clans in order to maintain their dominance. They are especially famous for their use of their pencil yaris, sharpening their wooden implements to a deadly degree.

[X] - An origami pinwheel flower.

You are a retainer of the Sakura Family. Sakura do not possess the army of samurai that most clans have but they are one of the very few clans that supply the Stationary Shogunate with their invaluable knowledge of Origami, the art of paper smithing that is considered legendary by other Departments in the Wal.

[X] - A paper crane folded out of sheet metal in a pool of black.

You are a mercenary of the decadent Crane and Co Clan. Although not a founding clan of the Stationary Shogunate, they are the most richest and preside over trade with other neighbouring departments. They favor the use of metallic stationary over the traditional paper stationary that most other clans use, believing that the Department’s strict adherence to tradition will be their downfall.

[X] - Smears of bright cherry pink awkwardly shaped into a smiley face.

You are what remains of Clan Smiggle. The smallest of the minor clans, what they make up for in size is their unquenchable optimism and code of justice that makes them a parallel of the Cereai. They are one of the many clans that favoured intervention of the Stationary Shogunate in the affairs of other more impoverished Departments. Shame that their approach led to their extinction in the last Black Friday. Now, the clans future rests on your shoulders.

Shaking your head, your eyes wander over something else in the distance. The namesake of the settlement looms over you, a humongous mass of detritus and artifacts from all corners of the Wal. The tales you heard from wanderers on your journey as well as your Sensei did not do it justice. The pile rested in a massive gyre rent in the superstructure of the Wal, cratered in the floor. Stockers floated errantly overhead like a cloud of flies over a dead body. You watch one to your right, floating just low enough to be visible. Your body freezes instinctively, even as you tell yourself that you and the rest of the settlement are far away from the Stockers senses, enough that it won’t trigger a security alert. It stops near the periphery of the pile, chute unfolding from its square belly. It only takes a second for the gush of expired garbage to unload before the stocker becomes a speck in the distance.

Enough fooling about. You have a package to deliver and the sooner you can get out of here, the better. The meeting place that your client provided was on the 2nd row of a Shelf downtown. You begin at a brisk pace, your sandals plodding in the trash littered ground. You settle at a pace that’s slow enough not to bring any attention onto enough but still fast enough to meet the demands of your schedule.

You take a right turn, past a street of roving Samplers, all grinning hungrily and wearing sandwich boards with slogans such as “ FREE TWINKIE KEBABS” and “ BUY NEW QUINT-A BATTERIES”. Unfortunately, you seem to have stumbled onto a large mass of people, huddled together as if they were weathering the cold. They were paying attention to a man on a stage, preaching brazenly to the crowd. He was dressed in the blue and yellow polo shirts and jeans that the Pre-Fall employees used to wear, his mannequin features contorted in a cold homely grin. Around his neck was a long sash woven from a dozen old ties but the most identifying feature of his character was the yellow smiley face on his face, the lines carved messily with a knife.

“ Refund your debts! Refund your debts before Smiley, my friends, and he will greet you at the Gates of Sliding with everlasting discounts!” The crowd was possessed, hanging onto every one of his words, before repeating “ Refund our debts” along with him. You roll your eyes. Great. A priest of the Smiling One. You thought your clan had wiped out those maniacs already. It seemed those lunatics were hardy like the blessed Nokias of the Electronics Department. No matter how many times you killed them, they always managed to put themselves back together at the end.

However, you’re not part of a clan anymore. You’re strictly here on business. Before you can walk away, one of their followers runs into you excitedly. He’s young, at the age where you’re smart enough to believe you’re independent and dumb enough to be impressionable. He’s adorned in the same uniform as the priest onstage.

“ You there, friend! Smiley blesses you with low prices! Please accept this as a token of his favor!”

He lifts out an old coupon punched through the top with a pipe cleaner, forming a makeshift necklace. It’s old and crunched up. You can read out the musty letters of ‘90 PERCENT OFF’ on the scratched surface.

Choose your action.

[X] - Accept the gift.

[X] - Politely refuse his gift.

[X] - Write in