Avatar of BrokenPromise

Status

Recent Statuses

8 days ago
Current I think to sell someone on an interest check, it's really important to seem enthusiastic about your own idea. That means writing more than a single sentence to attract potential players.
14 likes
1 yr ago
The virgin "My post was so bad it killed the RP!" VS the chad "My post was so good it concluded the RP."
16 likes

Bio


W I T H R I G H T E O U S H A N D S





Did you know that Dante's inferno is called a divine comedy because things work out for the protagonist? Back in the day, the only two genres were comedy and drama. The only difference was that in a comedy, the protagonist is better off at the end, and a drama is the opposite. So that's why a story about going through hell can still be considered a comedy, even if it's not funny.

Name:
Broken Promise, BP, Boss

Age:
Old enough to know better, too young to care. (that is to say 30's)

Preferred RPs:
I Prefer to make my own, but will occasionally join something if it looks interesting. I'll join just about anything so long as it isn’t overly edgy/sweet, though it's rare for me to do. I don't do 1x1s too often either.

Preferred Roles:
I tend to play adorable characters everyone wants to befriend or proper assholes everyone wants to stay away from. I try not to play moral paragons or prime evils.

RP Conquests:
I've completed quite a few RP's off site, but most of them are on private forums or have simply been lost to the ravages of server crashes. As for stuff here, I'm sure everyone who sees me post in the off topic sections has seen me find an excuse to talk about Danganronpa: Tower of Carnage. It's a project that took over 4 years to complete and I feel pride not only for myself but all the wonderful people who helped make it enjoyable during its run. Re: Zero: The High Council Is technically my first, but it was just something I kind of took over and ended up ending the story after just six months. It finished, but eh...

Last RP I finished was Symphony of Espers which turned out pretty good.

RP's in progress:
For some reason I can't seem to stay away from Ari's magical girl RP, even if I'm not sure why I'm still in it.

As for my own projects, I'm doing Symphony on High to continue the gigachad adventures of the espers in Pax Septimus.

RP Graveyard:
I've been pretty fortunate on this forum. I think I joined one when I first came on the site that didn't really do anything, and there are a few 1x1 things that didn't go anywhere. It's disappointing when an RP ends before it can be finished, but I've come to look at them as learning experiences.

And then there's that london magical girl RP, and that dark magical girl RP. I think I'm done joining magical girl RPs for a while.

Other interests:
Videos
I watch a lot of educational videos on youtube. Usually as research for something I’m writing or purely because a topic interests me. I like channels like Tier Zoo and Daryl Talks Games, and I’ll also watch things like Critical Drinker or Literature Devil to deepen my understanding of story telling. Though I also like memes and jokes, to which I’ll find myself watching stuff like Sseth, but usually find myself surfing through meme videos. I gotta work on that.

Games
I have a rather long history of playing virtually every platformer to come into existence during the indie boom, as well as quite a few other indie games. I’ve played Meatboy, Binding of Issac, Gunvolt, Cuphead, Princess Remedy in a World of Hurt, Classic Metroid, Warcraft 3, Final Fantasy 7,8, and 14, Left 4 Dead, Shantae, Celeste, Danganronpa, God Eater, the list goes on. What I’ve played is kind of all over the place. I don’t play many games these days, I tend to pick things that look interesting and go on a decent steam sale.

Painting Minis
I do this in moderation. Otherwise, it's a pretty expensive hobby to start...

Music
I listen to everything, save most country/rap songs. I have too many favorites to name.

Personality:
Not one to take life or the internet too seriously. Is only serious about writing well and having a good time.

People to Insult:
Dalton is a Dingus.

Most Recent Posts

@Lonewolf685 Woops, I guess in hindsight it wasn't totally obvious.

The Miko is Mika. The max number of clones she can muster is four and she never lets her clones use her sword.

She has one in the vicinity of the apex pageless, another one somewhere between the school and the mall, The handy bison, and one holding the perimeter in the cafeteria.

If editing is a big deal, I'd be okay handwaving the shrine maiden as one of the clones that was already there.


"I'm right here, Teeny!" The clone waved. "And you shattered a window earlier while I was there, so, you know~"

Dynasty Queen didn't seem to notice Mika's clone, who was bodying pageless left and right in an attempt to secure a safe zone inside the cafeteria, and had been doing so since before she arrived. Or maybe that was the problem. That the only teacher present was a clone and not the genuine article. As explained earlier, only the real Oros the Mad ever held the dark steel Katana. It was possible she noticed this. Maybe Dynasty Queen was upset with the clone's choice to not deal with the main threat herself.

Regardless, Mika at least knew what was happening moment to moment inside the cafeteria. But that was not her concern right now. There might be a "dark" magical girl urging the pageless on in one spot, but the rest of the school could be under attack as well. Surely Roma Bhakti hadn't expected to exact her revenge with a few pageless. It wasn't like it was even lunch hour yet. She had managed to get Ozma and that one class away from the school, but she couldn't be so depraved as to expect a single assault of this scale to do anything. Then again, she did hotlink to gelbooru.

But it seemed that there were no more attacks inside the school. One of her clones was with Morning Star, and another was returning to check the perimeter for approaching pageless. It seemed like the only immediate threat really was in the cafeteria. This could be problematic. She doubted Roma was the main baddy in all this. If she was brainwashed, she could be rigged with a bomb or have an equally devastating enchantment cast on her by a third party. This was assuming the attack itself wasn't an attempt to draw eyes away from other sensitive areas of Brittan. If there were, Mika wasn't going to waste her time scouting for them. There was only one threat to the students presently, and it was in the cafeteria. That was where she was going to pool the rest of her resources.

A second clone showed up to help carry wounded students out. Only it didn't look like a clone. This one had shape shifted into a bison covered in monkey arms. Just to ensure it didn't get confused with a pageless, the clone chose to retain Mika's face for is head. A horrific sight to be sure, but not unexpected coming from an alter magical girl. You could have the strongest hands in the world, but it didn't matter if you couldn't hold all of your cargo. The "handy ox" overcame this by having more than enough hands to lift a swath of injured and retreating magical girls in a single go. There must have been at least eight girls held to the side of the strange creature, and a few more rode on its back.

Lilac Shimmer would come face to face with this abomination as it trotted down the hall. "Bon-bon!" The clone's head was just inches away from hers. Yellow eyes half the size of Lilac's face gazed directly into her soul. "You didn't put in that practice to work apart from Dynasty Queen. Let me handle the evacuation. Team up with your friend before she brings down the school!"

The last to arrive would be a strange addition. A *miko with rebellious pink hair brandished her sword and placed herself between a pageless and a retreating magical girl. "You're doing fine, Teeny! You can fix a wall with spackle and mortar, but magical girls are a lot harder to put back together." She joined her clone and organized the wounded for the handy bison's next trip to the cafeteria.

*Ignore the second sword hue hue hue.


"Watch me wipe the floor with this Amanda twerp!”

— Sakura




Sakura was as bitter as a cup of kuding cha tea.

Things were looking up during the christmas vacation. He met some cool people and turned back into a boy. Emily seemed to be having a good time and it seemed like he might start enjoying life as a magical kid. But he managed to alienate her with a kiss, and in a moment of self loathing he redacted his wish. Turning himself back into a girl.

And things kept getting worse from there.

She had been cursed and cast aside by her patron, yelled at for attacking one of the visceral sisters, and was humiliated in front of her disciple. She had decided to sleep in today and missed the portal to the counter-wonderland raid. Swiss-Knife Chan was nowhere to be found. The other monster girls at Sanctuary were no friends either. They all had their own hook ups and mental mutations that made for bad company. Not Neko-Baba was nowhere to be found but that was probably for the best. She probably didn’t want to be around Sakura anyway. Part of her wished she hadn’t sent Tenebra away. Her company would be quite valuable right now.

Bah! This fucking city. This fucking place!

What point was there in honor when you were the only person who had any?

Sakura slithered out of one of the shacks.. She’d have slept longer, but other monsters found her long, slender body to be a comfortable thing to lay on. Like she was nothing more than a giant twenty-foot long body pillow. She might have been happy to wake up and find some new friends using her to catch some shuteye, but they were never grateful or hospitable about it. She was a convenience, and object, not a person.

“...And I swore to protect these girls?” She must have been drunk.

Just like the day she ran that one girl over.




It might be a miracle most of the bigwigs were busy. Even the other Cradle agents left to go fight Wonderland.

Maribel might've helped plan for Amanda to return to penrose a couple of days after now, but the dream magician found the time to appear early. She hadn't informed Maura or anyone else, but Maribel made sure to keep her in the loop with what's going down. And Finn was still planning on fighting Penny? She couldn't help the quiet sigh that escaped her lips. Hopefully Violet doesn't antagonize the lot of them for it.

She didn't want to lose her best friend.

Speaking of, where was she? And Dewynter, in fact? And Connie and Mia seemed to be busy too. An untransformed Amanda wandered around the city, looking for any sign of her friends. Maybe she wanted to surprise them, see the look on their faces when she suddenly appears again! Hmmm. MDP and Penny are dating. Maybe she was helping out at the Sanctuary? With no other leads to work with, the punkish girl headed to the shelter.

Once she arrived, she headed inside. Amanda could be seen asking the nearest denizens about the whereabouts of the royal couple.

A geko girl shrugged her shoulders. “Oh, hello ma’am! I’m sorry to say that I haven’t seen either of them since this morning. I believe the queen went out to run some errands just minutes ago. But if you plan on driving, you should get some insurance. So in just a few seconds I’d like to explain how you can save a bunch of money by switching to-”

Amanda’s presence did not go unnoticed by Sakura.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was just something she didn’t like about the girl. What sort of outsider just walks into a joint all untransformed. She could be a mint spy. No, she most certainly was a mint spy. And here these careless girls were giving them everything they wanted. Sakura wasn’t going to stand for it.

Sakura squared up her shoulders and slithered up to the girls talking. “Excuse me, Punk Chan.” Sakura folded her arms. “But why do you care where Swiss-Knife Chan is? You don’t look like a local.”

"The hell's a Swiss-Knife Chan?" Amanda spun around to face the draconid girl with a risen brow. "I'm just looking for Dreamy and thought she'd be near Penny. But it looks like both are busy." She explained. "...Didn't I see you from somewhere?"

“More to the point, I haven't seen you anywhere, bitch!” The gecko girl, and really everyone, stepped away from Amanda as the naga dragon came closer. "So how about you tell me why you're really here and things won't have to get nasty?" Sakura raised her fists into a fighting stance.

Amanda gave her an unamused look. Has she been out for that long? Or did she just not get out that much?

Then again, the magical community here seemed to prefer staying transformed or undisguised. Ah well. "May my sweetest dreams be your endless nightmares." Reciting her incantation, her form changed in an iridecent gleam. The bespeckled dream magician stood in the punk girl's place. "I assure you, my intentions remain innocent. I am Amanda Valentine, a friend of Magical Dream Princess. Since she's dating the queen I figured I check up on her." If Sakura payed close enough attention, she'd see that Amanda's demeanor was different from when she's untransformed.

That unamused look was no different, however.

But as the case usually was with Sakura, there was very little about the situation she actually understood.

“That hat...” Sakura blinked. Yes, that was a mad cap, not unlike the one Justine and Caroline wore. “Fucking knew she was still around!” Sakura’s entire body trembled. “Goddamn son of a bitch! Fuckin hametsu you ya slimy vampire whore!” She brought up her hands and rushed towards Amanda. “Narukami!”

Translator's note: hametsu means "ruin."

The magician aimed her spellbook in turn, and a glyph appeared in the center of it's pages. But she wasn't aiming at Sakura, but at her attack. Instead of hitting her point blank with her streams of lighting, Sakura would find that her attack had turned into stream of...confetti? Electric blue confetti??

"You should really think about the possible damages you can cause this place, acting like that." Amanda adjusted her glasses. "And last I checked I wasn't corrupted enough to be a monster girl, much less a vampire. Care to defend yourself?"

“You bet I will, fucking yokai!” With the bulk of her mana expended, Sakura opened her palms and started chopping through the air at the dream magical girl. After everything that she had been through, she needed this victory. She wasn’t going to lose to Justine, her sister, or anyone like that.

With a gradually irritated groan, Amanda went on the evasive, blocking and dodging. She hadn't even pulled out her dagger yet. "Could you just stop and think for a second?! You're picking a fight with a stranger in a public area! How do you think the others here are going to assume?!"

Vampires were charming individuals, and it was not out of character for one of the titty leaching Vice Cereals to spin lies on the fly. They were trying to get her mental defences down so that they could brainwash her, probably. Or maybe she figured that Sakura’s long body would make a nice snack. It didn’t matter. This wasn’t going to end until one of them was dead.

“I don’t know if you’re Card Liner Piston Cereal or Juice Tin, but I’m done talking. Get fucked blood sucker!”

If she had such an easy time avoiding her fists, maybe they’d like to try her tail. Sakura grabbed a nearby railing and swung her body with all of her might.

Card liner?? Juice tin??? Was english not this serpent's mother tongue? She was slowly piecing together some things, but for now...

"Ugh." Her patience running thin, Amanda slammed her book shut and opened a rift into her pocket dimension under her own feet.

Sakura’s tail soared right over Amanda’s head as she fell into another world. Her large body landed on the ground and skidded a few feet on the concrete floor.

“Huh? Where did that titty parasite go?”

After a moment passed she appeared behind Sakura and slammed her spellbook across the pinkette's face once she turned around.

Sakura’s defences weren’t strong to begin with. Least of all when she was out of mana. Least of all when the attack in question was aimed at her face. Her torso wobbled side to side before she fell onto her chest.

“Gah!” She put her hands under her shoulders and attempted to push herself upright. “I, will, not, let, you, hurt, another-”

With that, a bunch of monster girls dragged their feet out of the shack Sakura had left earlier.

“There’s the pillow girl!” a young frog pointed.

“Good golly! I’m cold blooded so I’m glad we have a lamia to keep us warm.”

Sakura grit her teeth. “Lame Ayah?!? Pillow!?!? I’m a drag- hey!” But the monster girls didn’t seem to care about her protests or that she was laying on hard concrete.They hugged onto her soft body and started to fall asleep, one after the other, from tail to torso. Sakura’s failing strength was barely enough to move her body around. With the monster girls clinging to her en-mass, she was practically immobilized.

“...”

She growled, her arms shook, but as stupid as Sakura was she knew that her number was up. Tears of frustration welled up in her eyes as she watched her arms struggle to hold up her torso. It was hard to tell if her face was read from being smashed with a book or from the humiliation of failure. Maybe both.

“...Fuck.” Sakura sighed. “Swiss Knife-Chan is not here. Whatever you plan on doing to everyone, do it to me instead.”

"Oh for the love of- I AM NOT HERE TO HURT ANYONE." Amanda loudly explained, her untranformed self's tone bleeding into her irritation. With another groan, she set her weapon aside and sat down on the floor in front of Sakura. "I keep telling you I just want to see my friend, but no, it's like you think with your fists instead of your brain! Your intentions are pure, but one wrong slip up, and this'll be child's play in comparison...Susanoo-San."

"Then... You really are called a man duh vally time? That's not a cover for one of the titty leach vampires?"

"What is it with you and vampires? Of course I'm me. Amanda rose a brow, and her expression was starting to soften up. "I'm part of the Crimson Cradle, if that helps you get some idea."

Sakura had no idea what the crimp sons cradle was, but understood that this all seemed to be a misunderstanding.

“Your hat.” She allowed herself to sink to the floor. “You shouldn’t wear it. Only titty leaches wear hats like that. Its really fucking confusing.” She placed her hands on the side of her head. “Shit shit shiiiiit! Why does everything keep getting fucked up? I can’t even keep my promise to defend these girls. Nothing I do-” She buried her face in her arms. “Nothing I do works out…”

Amanda glanced up at her hat once Sakura mentioned it. Oh. So that's why she went ballistic. She pulled it off and stuffed it into her pocket.

"...Maybe because you're too reckless?" She noted. "Maybe you should, y'know, think before you act? Not blindly throw yourself into fights? You could end up hurting someone innocent like that. You need to keep yourself levelheaded in such situations. Especially if you want to protect people, like them." She motioned to the monster girls that pilled onto Sakura's form.

The naga looked back over her tail at all of the girls hugging her body. She promised Dina that she would. But she was only doing that because she had deprived Dina of a valuable ally. And she was only doing that because of the yakuza’s code of honor. And she only followed that code of honor because… because…

“...Do I want to protect them?” She wondered out loud. Protect a bunch of monster girls, likely losers like herself. More drunk men who ran over their fair share of magical girls and were paying the price with eternal servitude. Were any of their lives worth more than her own? “Punk-chan, you said you were looking for a friend. How did you meet?”

For once, Amanda's mouth quirked up into a smirk. "Guessing I can't keep up the act with you now, huh? Anyways, It's not that extravagant. We met a while back when I was salvaging old library books from a ruined, well, library. This was before Covington Industries revived the town, so I did eventually bring them back good as new. But she popped in out of the blue on the hunt for nightmares." She explained. She then frowned for a second. "Her dad was plagued by severe night terrors. Like, severe, debilitating night terrors, and she wanted to put a stop to that. It's an admirable goal, protecting your family. She might be a bit jarring, but she means well! And her innocent views on the world is kinda cute once you get to know her. Along with a few other things too but..." Amanda muttered under her breath with a sigh, but perked back up when she looked back at Sakura.

"What I mean is, good or bad, however the hell morals work in this dumb town, everyone's got a reason they fight. Even if you don't know it, don't take yours for granted, 'ight?"

Sakura’s attention span was pretty short even on her best days. But she really didn’t have the patience to lay here and just listen to amanda drone on and on. It was painful, but to the victor goes the spoils.

But she recognized Amanda as an “Emily” type. Someone who was always willing to help. Of course she had a friend. And they probably didn’t accidentally kiss her while in a daze. Had Sakura done that accidentally? Did part of her want to do that?

Why was she thinking so much? Was it because this was the first time she had been utterly defeated and humiliated like this, or was it Amanda’s humble attitude after the fact?

What was her own reason to fight?

“...Alright Punk-Chan, I’ll keep that in mind.” With a huff, she used her arms as a pillow. “I hope you find your friend. I feel kind of tired. Think I’ll sleep off our fight.”

"Thanks, Susanoo."

With that, Amanda stood up from the ground and dusted herself off. "Well then! Take the best care of yourselves! I heard this Wonderland has been a bother to your uh....'kingdom'...and I fear things will only get worse from here on out. Till then." Saying her fairwell, she tucked her book under her arm and walked back to the outside world.

...Though not before she subtly casted another spell on the slumbering denizens. Transforming a Killing Blow of all things might have been as taxing, but she did have a bit of mana left to give them well-needed dreams.




Sakura had fallen asleep, and now it was time to wake up.

It always took her a moment to get her memories in order. Even though Sakura had been sleeping at the sanctuary for a while now, she would still expect to wake up in Emily’s apartment. It would take her a moment to remember why she wasn’t there.

But she was in Japan.

Or more specifically, a Japanese style dojo. The feel of the tatami maat on her cheek was a familiar one. She didn’t need to wait for the wall scrolls and training weapons to come into focus. Even if she had never been in this particular dojo before, it did remind her of the years spent perfecting her art. It was what the former yakuza took most pride in.

The dragon pushed herself up. It was a little hard to “stand” without feet, but she found her balance on her belly soon enough. Sakura turned to look at the exit..There was a dirt path backed by rows and rows of trees. If she didn’t know any better she’d swear she had been transported to feudal japan. That was impossible of course. But maybe not! Magic was an interesting thing.

“Can I come in?”

Who was that? It was an enchanting voice. Well, no. That wasn’t quite right. Emily, Yui, and his daughter all had enchanting voices. This woman’s tone was more seductive in nature. It was honey in her ears regardless. The only reason Sakura hesitated to answer was because this might be a threat. She vaguely remembered fighting a vampire that turned her killing blow into confetti. This might be her or one of her sisters. She brought up her hands and prepared to fight.

“Sure.”

But turning the corner wasn’t a vampire.

While she use to be a hard as nails Yakuza, she was always loyal to her wife. Sure, Yui wasn’t the first prostitute he laid with, but she was the last one. He grew up before the dot com boom. Most magical girls were men or lesbians who fried their brains on all the hard core erotica the internet could suply them with. But Sakura was from a more “innocent” time. He never had the opportunity to explore his fetishes, and was woefully unprepared for the cat-girl-maid in a bikini that stood before her now.

Her eyes were as red as the morning sun, her breasts were barely contained by her wardrobe, and she was lifting her skirt so that Sakura could see her garter belt. Her smile was equal parts mischievous and playful, and Sakura didn’t know if she should be concerned or happy this woman was approaching him.

She was a woman, right?

Sakura locked up. Her jaw hung open and she froze in place. Even as the cat-maid placed her hand on the bottom of his jaw, she did nothing. She eased his mouth closed before folding her hands over her skirt.

“Hello! My name is Yumi, and I’ll be taking care of all of your needs from now on!”

Sakura remained frozen in place. “Oppai-Neko-Maido-Chan? Am I still in Sink You Airy?”

Yumi placed the back of her hand over her mouth to hide a chuckle. “Oh you’re quite confused, aren’t you? I guess that’s to be expected.” She folded her hands together again. “You’ve died, Sakura. This is the afterlife. Without getting into a lot of spiritual mumbo jumbo, you made the cut and are going to live out the rest of your afterlife in the world of light.”

“I-I died?”

The maid gave a single, slow nod. Her breasts continued to jiggle like jello played back on a high speed camera. “Sanctuary was under attack from Justine’s third secret sister. Like the other two, you single handedly did her in. But she had just enough strength to push you through death’s door before expiring. Your death will be celebrated for your heroic sacrifice and all the lives you saved.”

“Fucking titty leaches…” Sakura pouted. “Well, at least everyone was safe. I guess they can’t say I was useless can they?”

“Certainly not! In fact, you’re a little special in that regard. You impressed the big guy so much that he picked someone hand tailored to you to ensure you have the best possible afterlife you can have!”

“That’s you?” Yumi nodded. “Fucking what!?” Sakura slithered backwards, raising her fists in the process. “I don’t believe you! How could you be made for me?”

“I’m as kinky as Yui, kind as Emily, and cuter than both.” Yumi took a seat on the floor. “No, but I think you’re missing the point. I’m not trying to get you to like me, I’m here to set up your perfect afterlife! I’m less the brave homewrecker trying to steal you away and more the home decorator setting up your perfect afterlife. But I can play a more ‘central’ role if it pleases you.” She closed her eyes and placed a finger against the side of her head. “To start, let’s look at the current afterlife I’ve constructed for yo-”

Sakura’s fist collided with Yumi’s nose, causing her eyes to fly open. But rather than her nose being flattened against her face, Sakura broke every bone in her hand. She howled and withdrew her hand. “Fucking hell!”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you were still skeptical about me.” Her smile never faded. “Being that this is the world of light. All unjust actions are punished, and the innocent are spared. You’ll be able to sate your aggression and lust to your heart’s content without unpleasant outcomes like this!” Yumi stood up and scuffed towards the entrance of the dojo. “Would you like to see what I have for you so far?”

After the brief spike of pain, Sakura’s hand seemed to have mended itself. Was he still skeptical? Of course. But it was getting harder and harder to refute that this wasn’t some dream. He did remember fighting that third sister. Maybe he could get a rematch with her and survive their next encounter. “Yes. Lead the way, Oppai-Neko-Maido-Chan.”

Once outside, Sakura could see he was on a giant island. While it would take him days and weeks to explore everything, his home wan’t hard to spot. It was a large eastern style mansion built on a flat plot of land. But more impressive than the grand mansion was the stuff around it. There was an asphalt road that would be perfect for motorcycle races, and it led straight into a nearby town. Inside the track’s many twists and turns were giant bonsai plants that had been trimmed to meet Sakura’s tastes.

Yumi pointed at the mansion. “It has a wine cellar stocked with any spirit you could ever want. If you venture further out, you’ll find all kinds of ways to ‘uphold your honor’ against some challenging foes. And of course…”

Sakura looked at himself. He was a man again. The manliest of men, maybe. “Fuck yes! I don’t even look like a girl this time!”

“Or a snake! And what’s paradise without your friends?” Yumi presented Sakura with a cell phone. “The world of light is timeless! All of your friends, favorite celebrities, whoever can be called with this cell phone. I should caution you that while this is your afterlife, anyone you call here is going to retain their free will. You’d be surprised how many people think they can just call their Ex or a favorite celebrity over and get disappointed when they want nothing to do with them.”

Sakura looked down at the phone in his hand. He had it all. The body of a god, the perfect home, and the means to contact anyone he wanted. His old Yakuza buddies, Yui, and Ai would all come at the drop of a hat. But then there was her…

“Do you like it?” Yumi folded her hands behind her back and swung her shoulders back and forth. This had an interesting effect on her breasts. “If you’d like something changed, just let me know! Otherwise I can give you a tour of the mansion. Or the town! Your afterlife is truly your oyster!”

“Yumi?” Sakura looked up from the phone. “I like what you have done with the place. ‘Tis a nice home for me. But would it be possible to change me?”

This got another “back handed” chuckle out of the busty cat maid. “Yes! Your wardrobe should have everything you need to become what you desire!”

“No I mean.” Sakura placed a hand over his mouth. “What do I need to look like in order for Emily to like me?”

“....Ahh.” Yumi smirked. “Something like that, huh? I hadn’t realized you were done with your old family already..”

“Fucking WHAT!?”

“My observation is justified, isn’t it? You had an opportunity to wish your old life back and decided against it. Instead you wished yourself into becoming a ‘16 year old magical boy,’ which is a pretty specific request, and one you only made after talking to Emily. What would you call that?”

“The debt has been paid.”

“Right, of course it has.”

“You’re annoying me, Oppai-Neko-Maido-Chan.” Sakura growled. “I took care of my family.”

“You gave them six-thousand dollars a month. That was the bare minimum to get them off you conscious. A little bit like paying child support. Then you pursued Emily as a romantic partner.”

Sakura’s growling became more audible. “Is that what you think?” Yumi remained silent. “I didn’t mean to kiss Emily. If she just understood how much she meant to me… If she saw Hurricane Emily was named after her…” Yumi continued to stay silent. “Just say it! Is there something you can do or no?!”

“The heart wants what the heart wants, doesn’t it Sakura?.“

That was it. Sakura had enough. She propelled her fist straight into Yumi’s face again… to the same disastrous effect. “Fucking titty minx harlot!”

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t meant to provoke you with my teasing.” Yumi only sighed through her smiling lips. “What would you have me change? How you look?” She placed her hands on her bosom, causing it to bounce. “Would I be less annoying if I looked like Emily?”

“Fucking no! Your attitude is what makes you-” Sakura’s eyebrows flicked up as the realization hit him.

“See what I mean?” Yumi paced around Sakura. “You’ve gone from being an old man, to a magical girl, to a magical boy, to a monster girl, but who you are on the inside through all of that has remained unchanged. What someone is on the inside is not something I can change, as the big guy forbids me from doing so.”

“But change has to be possible, right?” Sakura scratched the back of his head. “Can I change on the inside? Maybe with a trainer or something like that? Would Emily like me then?”

“Wellllllll…” Yumi rubbed her chin. “That’s going to mostly be up to you and Emily. You’ll have to work at it. It won’t be as instantaneous as your physical transformations.”

“That’s okay.” Sakura pointed at himself with their thumb. “Nothing’s impossible for me. It took me years to master my martial arts. ‘Tis another thing I will soon master.”

“That’s a good attitude to have!” Yumi clapped her hands together. “In that case, let's go back into the dojo. If you want to make self improvement part of your perfect afterlife, who am I to stop you?”

“Nobody can stop me!” Now this was more like it. A few good punches to put Yumi in her place was sure to put Sakura in a better mood. And if it made him a better person, even better!

But what was Yumi doing?

As soon as they arrived, she took a seat on the floor and closed her eyes. There were no further instructions.

“Oppai-Neko-Maido-Chan!” Sakura shook his fists. “I demand satisfaction! Tis’ why we’re here!”

Yumi opened an eye. “I’m meditating, dear. And if you want to reap the benefits of a better self, you’ll do the same.”

“The gall of this fucker.” It didn’t matter though. He was willing to do this if it meant seeing Emily again. He folded his legs as he sat, pinched his fingers together, and hummed loudly. “Does this really work?”

“You’d know if you ever bothered to get in touch with the spiritual side of martial arts.” Yumi stood up and approached Sakura. “The idea of meditation is just to empty your head and recenter yourself in the here and now.” She lowered Sakura’s arms into his lap. She was so close to him too. Her mounds of flesh just hovering behind his back. That was enough to redirect all of his thoughts to the here and now. “You need to get rid of your distractions, like your fears. you need to silence them before we can continue.”

“I’m not scared!” Sakura was still a little flustered by how close the maid was to him.

“We all have fears, even if we’re not scared.” Yumi continued to grin. “But for the most part, they are possibilities that may never come. You can acknowledge them, but do not let them rule your mind.”

Sakura took a deep breath and thought about his fears. Yui becoming a target of the yakuza, Ia left by herself, Emily never forgiving her, Sakura losing his honor. These were all rational things to be afraid of, but he could see Yumi’s point. They were all possibilities. He had taken measures to prevent them, and could probably deal with others in his own way if they came to pass. Regardless, filling himself with worry was not going to solve anything.

“Now you need to get rid of your shame and your grief. You’d be surprised how much time we spend trying to overcome our past failures and shortcomings..”

Did Sakura have anything to be ashamed of? He supposed he felt bad about what happened to Emily, but that was really it. Aside from how everyone treated him, he didn’t have much grief either.

“We must also overcome the lies we tell ourselves. Maybe we live under a pretense of honor, but that honor is just an excuse to conceal our shame rather than expose our virtues.”

Hey now…

“And when you’re done with that, you must look inward and outward. Seperate yourself from all earthly desires and embrace the self! The trick is-”

“Yumi?”

“Yes Sakura?”

“I don’t think this is going to work for me.” Sakura lowered his head. “I don’t think I can be a better person by just meditating. I’ve always had good luck doing it on the streets, you know? Street smarts, not book smarts.”

Yumi raised an eyebrow. “You’re not one of those people who looks for instant results, then gets frustrated and gives up on day one are ya?”

“No.” Yumi continued to stare at Sakura. “...I mean, recently I have been that way. But I really think what I’d like more than a perfect afterlife is a second chance.” He bowed before the busty maid. “Give me a second chance on earth, and I’ll come back as someone that Emily and Yui can be proud of.”

“Really now?” She shook her head with a smile. “If that’s how you feel, why not?”

“You can do that?”

“I don’t like to, but it is my job to serve you.” She placed her hands on her hips. “Alright Sakura, you get a second chance just this one. I’ll alter time so that the vampire that killed you didn’t. In fact, she won’t be a vampire at all. She’ll be a cool girl magical girl called Amanda. Because we’re bringing you back to life, she’ll also be a magical girl with dream magic, which will force you to explain away your entire visit here as a dream. Is that okay with you?”

“I’ll always know the truth, but that’s okay.”

“You’ll also go back to being a snake woman.”

“DRAGON!” Sakura repeated. “But I figured that would happen.”

“Good!” Yumi pretended to look at her watch. “Is there anything you’d like to do before you ‘wake up’ from your dream?”

“Can I get a hug?”

“Sure! Just try not to suffocate?”

“Well it shouldn’t be that hard for me to hmumphumuhphumuh!”




Sakura woke up on the street, smothered in monster girls.

“The fuck!?” Sakura pushed a rhino beetle woman off of her face. “For the thousandth time, I am not a fucking twenty-foot body pillow!”
Mmmmm, was more waiting to find out if attacks were happening all over the school or just the cafeteria. But if she's just yeeting pageless in the communal eating chamber I can work with that. I'll have a thing up later, probs.
Suppose I'll wait for @Lonewolf685 to make a Roma post before having Mika do anything. Unless there's a preference for having her act first?


The Tom and Jerry skit continued to play out between Betty and Finn.

Releasing Betty and allowing his time magic to slow his fall did prevent him from being cleaved in half. He even had time to force a smile and boldly throw a taunt at his reasonably angry pursuer. But while Finn had been concerned with Betty’s initial attack and falling to his death, he hadn’t put much forethought into what Betty’s next move would be. With a roar of hatred, she descended.

Slow was a versatile note, but didn’t give Finn nearly the same level of air control that Betty had. She could fly, accelerate and decelerate with just a thought. It would not take long for Finn to fall to the ground, but Betty could still catch up. He was powerless to do more than block the incoming swing with his rapier, and was flung into the wall of the police station as a result. The slow melody did help him resist the damage, but Betty’s assault wasn’t over.

She approached Finn with her ax slung over her shoulder. With a howl, her body was covered in black debris. Finn had been falling too fast before, but now the giant flies buzzed overhead and would be touching down any second.

”Nowhere to run, coward!“

A wall to his back, flies at his sides, Betty’s at his front, and noise all around. Betty howled as she brandished her weapon for a decisive blow.

Binky’s melody contained a pierce note that allowed for multiple cuts, but after each cut the saw degraded before finally wedging itself in one of the bloody tentacles. Ashley had just enough time to put up a barrier before more attacks came in. A shield melody would protect her, but not for long. The protection a shield note provided was dependent not only on the power of the attacks, but also the number of them. A single shot from Pac’s gun was all it took to rupture her spell. She could dispatch some of the flies with her wand, block a few more with her shield, but it wouldn’t stop everything. A fly landed on her back and dumped acid onto her shoulders. It felt like she had caught fire, but at least the frog guts were being burned away.

Ashley’s call to action did get Pac to turn her attention to the other espers. But between the flies, tentacles, and blood, it was impossible for Pac to see Marrie, let alone shoot her. Marrie had no difficulty passing a flight melody onto Leroux before flying up to Pac. But Marrie’s flight path brought her into Pac’s line of sight. She managed to fire a single round, which burned a hole in Marrie’s torso. But this didn’t stop her from trying to wrap up Pac in a chain. Her efforts were likely helped by the fact that Pac-A-Fist was pretty banged up at this point. She had just fallen a pretty far distance, and while everything was working her mobility wasn’t quite what it was. As soon as Marrie got the chain looped under her shoulders, she was off again.

”Are the lot of you mad?”

There were no places with an overhang aside from the apartment complex that Marrie had just flown away from.

Pac wasn’t going to wait that long.

With a growl, she twisted her body and fell out of the chains, only to summon a giant pixel starship just as she was falling. Marrie would need to take evasive maneuvers if she wanted to avoid the ships gunfire or being attacked by the still-growing amalgamation of bloody tentacles.

With Justin’s cronies out of the way, would the other espers be able to defeat him?

Samuel voiced his opinion about the statue. It caused the vampire’s fingers to curl into fists. ”You’ve spoken enough.“

The wall of blood opened up a hole just big enough for Justin to see Samuel run away. He may have had his back to Justin, but it didn’t matter. Once he opened his eyes, Samuel’s legs locked up. He wasn’t running anywhere, not straight or at an angle. Behind him, the wall of spikes started to crease in the center and fold like a hinge. It was no longer a wall of spikes, but an iron maiden made of blood.

The mana sapping melody went off under Justin’s feet just as planned. Monsters were an oddity when it came to depleting their mana reserves. Their internal mana sustained them while their magic was often pulled out of the surrounding environment. Hitting them with a mana burning melody was more likely to make them hungry or tired. Mavericks often employed such spells to weaken a monster without killing it, but it wasn’t uncommon for GEMINI espers to burn up a monster's mana to weaken them. But it wouldn’t stop Justin.

Enter Jacqueline’s melody.

While the blood magic went to work on her knee, a stream of metal tore through the air and struck Justin’s back. Each sliver of steel ripped away a small bit of Justin’s outfit, then his flesh, and even his bones. The vampire gurgled as his own blood mixed with the rain.

Justin broke eye contact with Samuel, and he was able to resume running just as the blood maiden attempted to close in on his body. The only thing it managed to do was clamp down on his scarf, pinning him nearby. The wall was not done though. While it had narrowly missed its target, it was still folding, drawing Samuel inward as it turned inside out in a second attempt to smash Samuel between its spiked walls.

Once the last bit of shrapnel fell it became possible to assess what happened to Jsutin. Part of his torso had been blown off along with his left arm. Even his neck and lower jaw were missing. Though not everything had been blown away. All of his blood vessels and organs had been left intact. His heart was still beating, and his lungs expanded and collapsed like they should. Only there was no flesh around them.

Justin whipped around and looked at Jacqueline, causing her body to freeze up much like Samuel’s had. While she was still in flight, she was unable to actually fly anywhere. The blood rain started to gather behind her and pushed the agent closer and closer to Justin. The vampire raised his arm, which was presently nothing but several large blood vessels. But with each passing second, a claw of blood grew at the end of it. In a matter of seconds, it was large enough to crush Jacqueline’s torso.

And then everyone’s skin started to itch.

Then the lord said to Moses and Aaron, "Take handfuls of soot from a furnace and have Moses toss it into the air in the presence of Pharaoh. It will become fine dust over the whole land of Egypt, and festering boils will break out on men and animals throughout the land."
— Exodus 9:8–9


Then the boils started popping up.

Festering pockets of bile built up under everyone’s skin. Uncomfortable on their own, and sure to affect the speed in which one could cast melodies. That said nothing of the agony they would bring if punctured.
I'm presently in too much stuff right now to participate in a fight. But here's the character.




Stripes wasn't expecting anything interesting out of Moonlight Tsubasa. Her only weapon in this "debate" was a series of arguments that leaned heavily on fallacies and half truths. Furthermore, she had made it clear she wouldn't be reasoned with long before Stripes decided to join the conversation. But the goal wasn't to get her to change her mind. In true bad guy fashion, Moonlight Tsubasa had revealed her intentions and why she was this way. They call that a "slam dunk" for those in the business of solving mysteries.

"Yeesh..."

Moonlight Tsubasa may be a lunatic, but her own plan worked without a hitch. She anticipated Ozma would come after her, lured her and the students here, and locked them inside a barrier while the real one attacked the school. Even stripes had to admit that was impressive. Anyone who could reliably predict Ozma's antics was a force to be reckoned with. She was far better at strategy than orating, at least.

Ozma declared that Moonlight Tsubasa was elsewhere, which cause her to raise an eyebrow. "She did say something like that." Stripes was unsure why Ozma would state something so obvious, but figured she was just nervous over what happened. When your plan backfires so hard it ends up helping the enemy, when you're refrain from telling anyone what you're doing and still get figured out, you have to do something to maintain control. Perhaps stating the obvious did that for Ozma. The rest of what Ozma said was directed to those above her station; her teachers and assistants. It was clear that catching Moonlight Tsubasa was a priority.

"Oros the Wise is not here." One of the clones called back. "She is still at the academy and knows what's going on. Probably." It was easy to assume that just because a magical girl held a mythic grimoire they had boundless power. And while that was a safe assumption for the most part there were a few small limitations. While the clones were strong enough to punch through a barrier with their fists, Mika was the only one who ever held the katana that let her partake in the world's knowledge. That meant that while Mika knew exactly what was happening here, she could not relay anything to the others. The state of Marrywell academy was a mystery for the moment.

"That's just adorable, Orzo!" The other clone grinned. "Maybe you can get some teachers to go along with your schemes, but I dance to my own tune." Faculty member or not, Mika was an alter magical girl. She had her own way of doing things and wasn't about to be swayed by the likes of Ozma. "They likely have reinforcements somewhere. One of us will stay with Morning Star, and the other will scout for more pageless."

Stripes looked to Maria. She might have been a myth, but she was their teacher and figured she had their best interests at heart. But it seemed like she was fine having them turned over to the arguably cooler German lady. It seemed they would have to continue to kick more butt elsewhere.

"Very well." With a hop, Stripes landed in Lupin's arms. "Lets join the others."

One of Oros the Wise's clones had already sped off. This left the remaining one with Morning Star. "I'm sure you've got this my horny friend! I'll just keep an eye out for any potential ambushers and- OH GOD THE FIRE'S COMING!" She dove behind some rubble as the flames washed past her like a burning tide.



I wasn't feeling left out. we all have "secret clubhouse" discord servers. I just wouldn't think of calling them "the discord."
There was a helpful post in the discord I thought-




There's a discord?
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