kapuchu
♬ n a m e
Esther Cassidy Erasmus Carrington
Goes by Esi (pronounced "Essie")
Goes by Esi (pronounced "Essie")
♬ a g e
26
♬ g e n d e r
Cis-female
♬ o c c u p a t i o n ( s )
Record producer, DJ, & dancer
♬ s e x u a l i t y
Heteroflexible
♬ r e l a t i o n s h i p ( s )
Engaged in various sexual and romantic relationships. (open)
♬ f a m i l y
N/A (open)
♬ a p p e a r a n c e
Height: 5'6" (167.64cm)
Weight: 152.4lbs; (69.13kg)
B/W/H: 36/28/40 (92/71/102cm)
Dress Size: 10 US; 40 EU
Simple Physical Description: Esi is a tan, full-figured woman, wearing a permanent smirk, with dark eyes and unkempt brown hair. She tends to wear expensive designer outfits that look to cost very little, and typically contrasts understated greys and blacks with pastel blues, pinks and neon colors, she is impartial to thin sweaters, shorts, and jewelry. Her father didn’t leave much of himself in her, save for her nose.
Weight: 152.4lbs; (69.13kg)
B/W/H: 36/28/40 (92/71/102cm)
Dress Size: 10 US; 40 EU
Simple Physical Description: Esi is a tan, full-figured woman, wearing a permanent smirk, with dark eyes and unkempt brown hair. She tends to wear expensive designer outfits that look to cost very little, and typically contrasts understated greys and blacks with pastel blues, pinks and neon colors, she is impartial to thin sweaters, shorts, and jewelry. Her father didn’t leave much of himself in her, save for her nose.
Esi looks like someone who is planning something mischievous. People will often think ‘cute,’ ‘precocious,’ perhaps ‘pensive,’ ‘friendly,’ or ‘smug’ before thinking that she is beautiful. While she’d undoubtedly an attractive women, granted with natural physical assets, and pretty face, she’ll always looks more like a friend than a model.
Standing at 5’6’’, Esi looks like the stoner next door. Her hair is always unkempt, she’s always finding something to giggle about, carries herself like someone actually high, she's completely out of shape, and her dark eyes seem to gaze past whatever is in front of her and see the world differently. Perhaps for what it is.
It’s undeniable that Esi’s fashion sense is largely derived from her father’s own sense of casual wear, although corrupted to fit the public image a rising international musician might exude. Esi mostly wears similarly tame, dark sweaters and t-shirts that are much more expensive than they appear-- the T-shirts typically silk and advertising some obscure Easter Bloc movie or exclusive Korean band, and the sweaters, typically thin and more designed for fashion than practical use.
To contrast that conservative trait gained from her father, she wears on her lower half, exclusively some combination of bright pastel colored shorts or skirts, jackets, and sandals. A favorite jacket of hers currently is a pink lined lettermen jacket that is far too large for her body-- It has a snarling red tiger stitched into the back, and the words “dandelion killer” embroidered in English and Japanese on the right breast.
It’s a former Yakuza jacket. She bought it as a party for almost $100,000.
Standing at 5’6’’, Esi looks like the stoner next door. Her hair is always unkempt, she’s always finding something to giggle about, carries herself like someone actually high, she's completely out of shape, and her dark eyes seem to gaze past whatever is in front of her and see the world differently. Perhaps for what it is.
It’s undeniable that Esi’s fashion sense is largely derived from her father’s own sense of casual wear, although corrupted to fit the public image a rising international musician might exude. Esi mostly wears similarly tame, dark sweaters and t-shirts that are much more expensive than they appear-- the T-shirts typically silk and advertising some obscure Easter Bloc movie or exclusive Korean band, and the sweaters, typically thin and more designed for fashion than practical use.
To contrast that conservative trait gained from her father, she wears on her lower half, exclusively some combination of bright pastel colored shorts or skirts, jackets, and sandals. A favorite jacket of hers currently is a pink lined lettermen jacket that is far too large for her body-- It has a snarling red tiger stitched into the back, and the words “dandelion killer” embroidered in English and Japanese on the right breast.
It’s a former Yakuza jacket. She bought it as a party for almost $100,000.
♬ p e r s o n a l i t y
Esi has gone about a life wearing many masks-- there’s all sorts of masks for her career, Esi the hot new indie musician, Esi Carrington the up-and-coming freshmen producer, Esi C. the DJ all across Europe and the Caribbean, Ess the back-up dancer to stars who actually earned their fame… then there was Esi the lover, often confused with Esi the slut, there were of course dropout Esi, turnt Esi, stoner Esi, druggie Esi and the Esi who parties hard, they usually made out in a single mask. All of these masks make up the person she tries to exude today.
She strives to present herself to the world as a stark contrast to her mother, the parent she felt hurt her the most, who seems to suck mirth from the life marrow of any room that she may enter. To contrast this, Esi has cultivated the type of personality… or rather, something deeper than that, she’s cultivated an aura that has an almost drug-like effect to those around her. She’s chill-- a gifted conversationalist despite mostly listening to others, and someone most people will want around as a friend within a few minutes of meeting.
It’s easy enough to see why, her near-constant smirk can make one feel fuzzy inside, while her dark eyes seem to be able to pierce whatever difference she has with anyone, making people feel she genuinely understands and cares.
A joker and druggie, Esi seems to walk with an almost drunken swagger, and is never far away from wine or lean-- to say she clumsily stumbles about is a mistake, however. Speaking with her, you may laugh at her jokes and sailor’s mouth, and feel hypnotized her overwhelming charisma and charm-- but below that, what most can detect is a certain calculation. This calculation is sad, and it signifies that this is not the complete Esi-- there is a duality to the masks she wears, with ones she hides beneath.
But who, you may ask, is Esi beneath the masks?
Esther. The doting daughter. The classically trained pianist, cellist, and violinist. The privately taught ballet student. The loner. The disappointing private school student and brilliant orchestra multi-instrumentalist. The druggie. Esther, heiress of the Carrington name and family fortune.
She’s insecure-- her biggest fears are loneliness and her own hypocrisy. She wants nothing more than to be able to not think about the world, how she was raised in it by such damaging people, and how she feels she owes virtually all of her success and company she keeps to them-- if not their money, which she often refused to use when she was younger and establishing herself-- then to their family name and its influence.
She’s been a slacker her whole life-- but the lessons in ballet and classical music she was pushed into taking by her mother once she showed an interest opened her up to her biggest passions in life and she wouldn’t have even pursued her career in music without the push. Her name was the reason she graduated High School early-- when she should have been held back. Her name guaranteed her a place in practically any University she applied to-- despite apathy towards scholastic endeavors.
Her parents, and their blind pursuance of wealth have made her hate her name.
Deep down, she hates herself for not renouncing it completely, just the thought of it makes her sick. So she doesn’t think about it-- she drowns herself, in music, in whatever company she can find, in drugs, in sex, in anything. So long as she doesn’t need to think of herself.
She strives to present herself to the world as a stark contrast to her mother, the parent she felt hurt her the most, who seems to suck mirth from the life marrow of any room that she may enter. To contrast this, Esi has cultivated the type of personality… or rather, something deeper than that, she’s cultivated an aura that has an almost drug-like effect to those around her. She’s chill-- a gifted conversationalist despite mostly listening to others, and someone most people will want around as a friend within a few minutes of meeting.
It’s easy enough to see why, her near-constant smirk can make one feel fuzzy inside, while her dark eyes seem to be able to pierce whatever difference she has with anyone, making people feel she genuinely understands and cares.
A joker and druggie, Esi seems to walk with an almost drunken swagger, and is never far away from wine or lean-- to say she clumsily stumbles about is a mistake, however. Speaking with her, you may laugh at her jokes and sailor’s mouth, and feel hypnotized her overwhelming charisma and charm-- but below that, what most can detect is a certain calculation. This calculation is sad, and it signifies that this is not the complete Esi-- there is a duality to the masks she wears, with ones she hides beneath.
But who, you may ask, is Esi beneath the masks?
Esther. The doting daughter. The classically trained pianist, cellist, and violinist. The privately taught ballet student. The loner. The disappointing private school student and brilliant orchestra multi-instrumentalist. The druggie. Esther, heiress of the Carrington name and family fortune.
She’s insecure-- her biggest fears are loneliness and her own hypocrisy. She wants nothing more than to be able to not think about the world, how she was raised in it by such damaging people, and how she feels she owes virtually all of her success and company she keeps to them-- if not their money, which she often refused to use when she was younger and establishing herself-- then to their family name and its influence.
She’s been a slacker her whole life-- but the lessons in ballet and classical music she was pushed into taking by her mother once she showed an interest opened her up to her biggest passions in life and she wouldn’t have even pursued her career in music without the push. Her name was the reason she graduated High School early-- when she should have been held back. Her name guaranteed her a place in practically any University she applied to-- despite apathy towards scholastic endeavors.
Her parents, and their blind pursuance of wealth have made her hate her name.
Deep down, she hates herself for not renouncing it completely, just the thought of it makes her sick. So she doesn’t think about it-- she drowns herself, in music, in whatever company she can find, in drugs, in sex, in anything. So long as she doesn’t need to think of herself.
♬ l i k e s
(in order of importance)
- Clubs, Music & Dancing
- Party drugs (MDMA, LSD, DMT, Shrooms)
- Motorbike racing
- Clothes & Jewelry
- Beaches
- Flashing lights
- Abstract concepts
- Sleeping in late
- An organized selection of herbal tea
- Crêpes
♬ d i s l i k e s
(in order of importance)
- Loneliness
- Hypocrisy
- Most technology, and her inability to "Get it."
- Narcissists and those overly concerned with material wealth
- Violence
- Intolerance
- The Cold
- Pollen and Bees
♬ h i s t o r y
Esi, born Esther Cassidy Erasmus Carrington to Cassiopeia and Lee of the infamous Carrington name was a quiet and docile young girl in her youth. It has been said she didn’t even give her mother pain during birth, although there has been no confirmation of this rumor on Cassiopeia’s part. She grew up largely insulated from the world around her, school and vactions were her only exposure to life outside of her family’s bubble, her own growing insecurity in her self worth made connecting to people difficult for her from a young age. It felt, for much of her younger life, the only genuine interaction she had with other humans was with the private tutors she saw to help her studies (an issue from a young age), the occasional sight of her parents, and her siblings.
Life was like this for Carrington children until age 7-- that age, at least for Esi, was when she made her growing interest in music piqued the attention of her mother. She can recall her excitement in the beginning-- she was getting attention from her mother and exclusive lessons. Piano, percussion, woodwinds-- everything a classically train orchestra student could want to know, she had access to. Esi’s musical prowess became the complete focus of her life, and the years leading up to her time in High School were laser focused by Cassiopeia towards training her daughter to become a competent instrumentalist.
That what made her happy seemed to make her mother happy made young Esi feel that she needed to tell herself that it increased her enjoyment, and made her happy. But Her first mental break was at 14-- 3 months into starting High School. They came and went, and with her panic attacks as frequent as they were, she found herself isolated from her peers and felt further alienated from her family.
“I won’t pretend smoking a blunt at 15 was some magical fucking seance that fixed everything,” She laughs, “But I will say it helped me calm my shit down, I actually found friends-- sure I was a burn out, but the shit was fun.”
To cope with the ramping stresses of life; disappointment in her grades, the musical expectations of her mother, and her general lack of camaraderie-- she turned to self-medication, and experimenting with drugs-- weed at first, before slowly discovering the Californian nightclub scene and expanding ehr psychedelic horizons. It was around this time that her interest in classical music began to wane, and she took to producing music on 808 drum machines, keyboards, and other electronic means. Eventually DJing for small local clubs as a freelancer, and even joining a garage band in her school’s ‘druggie scene.’
Her parents, for their part, were generally receptive to her change in interests, and even encouraged the mild success her band was beginning to see. However, as Esther-- now going by Essie or Esi-- was beginning to learn, all good things must come to an end. During her Junior year in High School her full drug habits had come to light. They were aware of her penchant for weed almost immediately after she had picked up the habit-- but as the discovered through whatever means they used to learn things about their children-- they found a gram of DMT in her room.
A single dumb mistake resulted in her social life effectively being shut down. She was watched intently from dawn to dusk, and given regular drug tests. She had felt somewhat close to her father before the incident, and although she had many negative feelings towards her mother, she still loved her for enabling her to do what she loved well. She felt as though that relationship disappeared after her experimentation with party favors came to light. Her life was managed-- even after she graduated from school. She spent the rest of her teens proving herself to be responsible and worthy of the Carrington name.
She was accepted into UC Irvine on some music scholarship, and spent her first few years continuing to prove herself to be her parent’s child. Focusing on the technical aspects of production and sound engineering-- only sneaking in parties when she was absolutely certain her parent;s didn’t have some agent staring at her. When she was 20, she had built enough trust to have her leash finally cut. Nearly immediately after this, she was having a going away party for her transfer to the University of Milan, entered an academic hiatus, and focused on finding as many parties and connections to restart her DJing career.
Logically, she used her family’s influence to begin DJing for large fashion shows in MIlan, giving her a stepping stone to begin producing electronic music for artists in Western Europe proper. After a few years spent on and off in school, establishing herself in the Milan nightclub scene, and with the taste of travel fresh on her palette, southern Asia became her next conquest-- she dropped out of University and began traveling. This time using own connections to secure a foothold for herself as a kind of indie-electronic producer.
She’s since lived most of her life on the move, increasing her slight fame, touring Asia and Europe as she can, and making beats and collaborating with whatever artist will have her. She does live in America-- she owns a townhouse in Puerto Rico, bought proudly with her own money-- where she keeps her growing record collection and hosts her own house parties.
Life was like this for Carrington children until age 7-- that age, at least for Esi, was when she made her growing interest in music piqued the attention of her mother. She can recall her excitement in the beginning-- she was getting attention from her mother and exclusive lessons. Piano, percussion, woodwinds-- everything a classically train orchestra student could want to know, she had access to. Esi’s musical prowess became the complete focus of her life, and the years leading up to her time in High School were laser focused by Cassiopeia towards training her daughter to become a competent instrumentalist.
That what made her happy seemed to make her mother happy made young Esi feel that she needed to tell herself that it increased her enjoyment, and made her happy. But Her first mental break was at 14-- 3 months into starting High School. They came and went, and with her panic attacks as frequent as they were, she found herself isolated from her peers and felt further alienated from her family.
“I won’t pretend smoking a blunt at 15 was some magical fucking seance that fixed everything,” She laughs, “But I will say it helped me calm my shit down, I actually found friends-- sure I was a burn out, but the shit was fun.”
To cope with the ramping stresses of life; disappointment in her grades, the musical expectations of her mother, and her general lack of camaraderie-- she turned to self-medication, and experimenting with drugs-- weed at first, before slowly discovering the Californian nightclub scene and expanding ehr psychedelic horizons. It was around this time that her interest in classical music began to wane, and she took to producing music on 808 drum machines, keyboards, and other electronic means. Eventually DJing for small local clubs as a freelancer, and even joining a garage band in her school’s ‘druggie scene.’
Her parents, for their part, were generally receptive to her change in interests, and even encouraged the mild success her band was beginning to see. However, as Esther-- now going by Essie or Esi-- was beginning to learn, all good things must come to an end. During her Junior year in High School her full drug habits had come to light. They were aware of her penchant for weed almost immediately after she had picked up the habit-- but as the discovered through whatever means they used to learn things about their children-- they found a gram of DMT in her room.
A single dumb mistake resulted in her social life effectively being shut down. She was watched intently from dawn to dusk, and given regular drug tests. She had felt somewhat close to her father before the incident, and although she had many negative feelings towards her mother, she still loved her for enabling her to do what she loved well. She felt as though that relationship disappeared after her experimentation with party favors came to light. Her life was managed-- even after she graduated from school. She spent the rest of her teens proving herself to be responsible and worthy of the Carrington name.
She was accepted into UC Irvine on some music scholarship, and spent her first few years continuing to prove herself to be her parent’s child. Focusing on the technical aspects of production and sound engineering-- only sneaking in parties when she was absolutely certain her parent;s didn’t have some agent staring at her. When she was 20, she had built enough trust to have her leash finally cut. Nearly immediately after this, she was having a going away party for her transfer to the University of Milan, entered an academic hiatus, and focused on finding as many parties and connections to restart her DJing career.
Logically, she used her family’s influence to begin DJing for large fashion shows in MIlan, giving her a stepping stone to begin producing electronic music for artists in Western Europe proper. After a few years spent on and off in school, establishing herself in the Milan nightclub scene, and with the taste of travel fresh on her palette, southern Asia became her next conquest-- she dropped out of University and began traveling. This time using own connections to secure a foothold for herself as a kind of indie-electronic producer.
She’s since lived most of her life on the move, increasing her slight fame, touring Asia and Europe as she can, and making beats and collaborating with whatever artist will have her. She does live in America-- she owns a townhouse in Puerto Rico, bought proudly with her own money-- where she keeps her growing record collection and hosts her own house parties.
♬ m i s c
- Esi can speak Spanish on a near fluent level and speaks passing Korean
- Has a one winged dove tattooed over her right breast
- Hasn't seen her parents or actually set foot on mainland US soil since she was sent away
- Has been sporadically taking vocal lessons
- Esi's favorite band is Radiohead
~Family~
Lee~
"Maybe... I don't know, like, maybe I'm fucked up here, but I feel like we used to be close. I wonder what happened?"
Esi thinks of her father as a shrewd businessman first, and a father who showed his affection through his allowing her to exist second. She resents him, but she does love him, deep down, and this is confusing for her. She can't forget when, as a child, she'd play him a song on her clarinet-- something she'd worked on, while waiting for the next chance she could actually interact with her parents, and the slight curve upwards in his cheek as he would tussle her hair and congratulate her.
Part of her was always chasing that feeling. From him, and perhaps from the world. She supposed the other part of her was angry he didn't do more to reach out to her-- although Esi is certain it has something to do with the shrew he married.
Cassiopeia~
"<audible hiss>"
If there is one thing that Esi feels she hates in the world, it's Cassiopeia. She felt targeted and antagonized by her mother throughout her childhood. Feeling as though that the pressure her mother placed on her-- while maybe well meaning, as her mother clearly wanted her to be the best at what she loved-- was simply too much pressure for her. Esi doesn't feel unloved by her mother-- she knows that the cold pushing to succeed and the strong reaction to her drug habits came from a place of love. It's just that, for Esi, she feels that love is completely toxic.
Esther respects her mother-- maybe even feels that love at a less toxic distance. But she does not like her one bit.
Sammy~
"I think she's my favorite."
Esi doesn't say that lightly-- she admires Sam more than she ever could her actual mother. Sam did what Esther wished she had the strength to do at 18. She left, and then she made a name for herself without the cancer that is the Carrington name. The love and respect Esi has toward Sam for actually pulling this off is near infinite.
Her love of abstract works actually came from seeing Sam's work in some art magazine her father had left on a coffee table when she was younger. She's since been the highest bidder on a few of Sam's later, more abstract works.
She wishes the two were closer, and worries about her, but knows how it is.
Arther~
"
He married the straight version of Sam, sans baggage-- Ahahaha!! I wonder if he's, like, Melissa's trophy husband, or something."
He married the straight version of Sam, sans baggage-- Ahahaha!! I wonder if he's, like, Melissa's trophy husband, or something."I was never particularly close to Arthur-- although I'm sure if he was around I convinced him to buy me shit when I was younger. I dunno man.
Gabe~
"Neeeerrd. What kinda fucking loser, from a family as rich as ours, CHOOSES to go into the army? Hahaha, oh man."
Truth be told, Esi is going to give Gabe a lot of shit-- she doesn't agree with his decision to join the armed forces. She's ideologically opposed to all kinds of conflict, yet, she does respect him. More than he'll ever know. She knows he's lost a lot, and resents the world for taking it from him.
Her calls, albeit rare (once a year or so) are about 90% her chiding him and giving him shit, and 10% her displaying that she does genuinely care for him deeply.
Art~
"He's like Dad, if Dad could laugh."
Esi never hung out with Art much-- but she was one of the first people he explained that fucking nick name to-- that 'He's a work of art.' Truthfully, Esi can't disagree with that assessment-- he might not make as much money as she does, but he saves lives in a very real way, much more than 'your music touched me,' anyway. He reminds her of father, but a funny, narcissist father, instead of the stoic businessman the Carrington children have come to love.
Esi considers herself on good terms with Art, they call every now and then-- although she's sure he vents to his wife about her afterward. That thought makes her laugh. He's always one of the first to receive free tickets to one of her larger gigs. Esi hopes he remembers her in his Nobel Peace Prize speech.
Char char~
"My brother. A fellow outsider! I was always the troublemaker in the family, which set me at odds with basically everyone-- he was more of a... I don't know, an outsider outsider. Even when I wanted nothing but to smoke and play with my band, I was always a Carrington. I was always confident, I always had a perfectionism about me... but Char char seemed like... I don't know, different, and that set him apart, too."
Nathan~
"Easily, without effort, the coolest Carrington."
Hope he's down to hang for a little bit when this goes down, he's one of the people I'm looking forward to having as a buffer to avoid 1 on 1's with mother. This is all assuming he actually shows up and he's not getting some poet laureate thing or something, haha.
Indie~
"This is why I dropped classical, man. No growth potential."
Esi spends more time than she might care to admit about Indie. In a similar way Sam did, Indie left and tried to make it on her own merits completely, and even though she has no logical reason to, she feels guilt that it hasn't worked out as well for her.
Esi and Indie are only three years apart, in terms of age, only Nathan was closer-- and Indie was a girl. They were always going to be close, even if only out of necessity. Their shared interest in music couldn't have been a coincidence, and Esi remembers going to music lessons with her younger sister. Indie was always better at... any instrument she attempted. Esi recalls her affinity for the strings, not even feeling jealous, but just asking how she could become as good.
Look at them now.
Esi feels that Indie is the best Carrington musician-- and one of the most beautiful violinist's she'd ever heard, Carrington or not. She's got connections that could help her, but Esi is worried that Indie resents her for becoming such a bad influence when they were younger, and if an offer would only worsen the resentment.
They email and occasionally text-- never call.
Emi~
"Heavy shit. Short story; I suck. I fucking suck and I fucked up a nice thing we had going on."
Long story; so Esther, in her infinite wisdom, decided some time ago that she'd at least try to take a more active role in her younger siblings life. She's utterly aware she isn't the best influence, but she figured it'd be better than feeling suffocated by a general lack of affection all the time. She figured she'd offer for her teenage siblings invitations to wherever she was during summer vacation, or other breaks-- friends could come, complete freedom-- she half expected her parents to just crumple the letters up before anyone could read him. But apparently they didn't-- and apparently Emi (he hates that nickname) actually wanted to take her up on her offer.
It started off pleasant enough, he'd visit her in whatever apartment she was in, maybe bringing along a few friends, more often than not alone though. Beach going and parties were common-- although after her shows they'd always go to some bar, since Emi's vice of choice was the firewater. Things were nice.
Nice things don't last in a Carrington child's life.
She doesn't remember much about the night itself-- what cocktail of chemicals was pulsing through her veins when it happened. But she does remember Emi pulling her off some fan who had said something to set her off-- she remembered bleeding, Emi getting the two back to her apartment and making sure she didn't die. Whatever he had learned about being a nurse saved her life that night, she's sure of it.
He wasn't angry when she eventually came to, he just said he didn't want to spend all his time worrying about her, and that was that. That was a wake up call, for sure-- they haven't really spoken since, and Esi's been agonizing over seeing him.
Elaine~
"Who?"
No, seriously. That's not a jab, but Esi seriously doesn't remember having a younger sibling than Emile. She only keeps tracks of so many of her older ones, she's got even less incentive to keep track of the ones she needs to watch her tongue around.
Esther, deep down, wants to have a closer relationship with all of her siblings-- they'd never been a close-knit family, but that was only because the "glue" of their family unit, their parents, seemed to drive everyone off. Unfortunately in separate directions, because they'd be the best at supporting each other. Esi would want to get to know her, but would probably hesitate, she's aware how bad of an influence she can be.
