I'm actually at work myself, so I'll keep it to the basics of the idea:
The Demon is one of the Blood Clan, as it's the most applicable to what she is, a Butterfly Demon, and works best with how she came to work as a Maid. Hydrargyrum, or Mercury, as she'd be known by in a modern tongue, is a weak demon - a Whelp, almost Demon Beast. Her strength isn't in anything that a demon would be expected for: she uses her demonic control of the elements to bend the blood of corpses or herself into Blutterflies (Blut, German for Blood + Butterfly) and uses them for distractions - largely to run away.
Her purpose is to bake sweets, as butterflies are addicted to sugar, and will sip blood for it's sugar content. Hydrargyrum seeks to bring ruin to the world by baking cake, candy, and cookies with her blood inside (because it's sweeter than sugar), but she's, like, fighting a demon on Game Journalist difficulty.
However, before she was sealed, she pleaded her case: become a Maid, so she can kill other Demons and keep baking her sweets.
"Hydrargyrum is just a meager Butterfly Demon. Hydrargyrum weak! Weak, she is! But, weak is not useless! Hydrargyrum can be useful to the Master! She cooks sweets! Yummy! Nummy! Swummy! And, Hydrargyrum can make Blutterflies! Sure, they can't cut... or hurt... or be anything but annoying, but that's useful! Make deal! Not seal! Demons like deals! Demons hate seals! Hydrargyrum make deal! Let Hydrargyrum live, and she will make the Master sweets and clean and even be the Master's pet! Good deal!? Yeah!? Yeah!?!"
Should that not jive well, I am fine with an Emtomancer variant of her. Like I said, the Demon aspect is cooler than her being Human, but not a deal-breaker.
Is this RP in a position to take on new players? It's a petty interesting concept, and I would like to argue for a Demon Maid, as no-one else has, and I've character concept in mind that, while it does work fine as a Human, it is slightly less cool.
That's something that Sho would need to answer, in terms of mechanically how it will function. I pinged you, on the off-chance that you might have thought of a balancing features (such as, they are hindering, but not debilitating a.k.a mild effects) and so you didn't just pop in, and think I was attacking you.
Sadly, we only have two characters to contrast and compare, after all, and it's fair that you get your say on the matter, as well.
So, this just occurred to me. How exactly is John's [Kirin's Eyes] broken for allowing her ten second clairvoyance that causes immense sensory overload, if she uses it too long, when @Letter Bee has a gun that does unblockable Poison on hit and a gun that does unblockable Sleep on hit?
[Kirin's Eyes], pre-patch, were inherently balanced by the fact that John had to prescription glasses with the INTENT of dealing constant damage to her eyes in order to control her "blessing" of seeing into the future.
Ken just has to shoot a target to poison them and put them to sleep. There is a claim that, "Well, some enemies will be resistant, and some will be just immune," and that's all find and dandy. But, that goes both ways, since John's [Kirin's Eyes] saw into the immediate future, but an opponent that knows that would be able to create simultaneous multiple futures by just doing one thing, but envisioning themself doing elsewise, and furthermore, she needs to be able to SEE the target, they need to be ALIVE, and generating a BIOELECTRIC FIELD as she's reading their brainwaves, more or less.
Robots. Undead. Elementals. A rainy day. A foggy day. A sudden crowd. A bunch of clones. A bag over her head.
[Kirin's Eyes] has so many countermeasures, whereas Poison Gun and Sleep Gun need to be Resisted, which means, eventually, they will take, or Immunized against, for anything to not be trivialized by these weapons, as just basic enchantments.
Alrighty, instead of relaunching the entire sheet, I'm just going to post the changes, so you can just see them immediately. So:
Main Weapon Type: Electrium-Copper Knuckle Dusters
Secondary Weapon Type: Railgun (Shotgun-type)
Fighting Style:
Hard Knocks, Street Smarts: John's preferred style of fighting is born of the unfair lessons learned on the streets during her formative years, "Punch first, and fire last." Acquiring such underhanded technique allows her to seamlessly blend her electric punches and shotgun blasts during combat.
Boons:
Ambidextrous - John is well-versed in orthodox and southpaw boxing styles, and can dominate a fight regardless of which hand is available.
Quickdraw - Practiced and refined, John is able to draw her shotgun almost on a whim, and even the playing field in a blast.
Kirin's Eyes: Blessed with the Kirin's Eyes, John can enhance her kinetic vision to hyperspeed - granting her what appears to be a sneak peak into the immediate future of her opponents.
Good for cheating at cards and fights in equal measure, but shit for everything else. It is also damaging to John's eyesight, and causes her to require glasses to see in spite of it.
Added to [Ionizing Purity]: "There is potential to purify other poisons, but they would need to be carefully introduced into her system to be learned and affected by this sorcery."
Alright. Everything in order, with a preface that a lot of the CS comes off as vague, as for what's desired in the actual space without clear-cut examples. But, that's a broad criticism, so on to the specifics.
1: I've addressed the issue with the Main Weapon and Subweapon in the preface, but I'll revisit it for a moment, to simply state that it's placeholder text until I actually knew what you wanted in that spot.
Now that I know you want very specific things, and not a broad category, I can more specifically say: Main Weapon: Knuckle Dusters, Subweapon: Railgun (Shotgun).
2: Second verse, same as the first, but let's be specific. There's no distinction here of what I'm to presume is her "fighting style" and what is a "boon" of it. John's a boxer, first and foremost, who is versed in orthodox and southpaw boxing styles, so she's ambidextrous. So, I'm working now, under the assumption you are asking for, specifically: Fighting Style: Traditional Boxing, Boon: Ambidextrous.
To address the gun, what fighting style exists for a shotgun? The best I could think of is: Fighting Style: Riot Control, Boon: Quickdraw. If you have suggestions here, I am open to them. This is a pretty unusual ask for a character, so, admittedly, I'm stumped.
3: Kirin's Eyes is pre-balanced by the fact that it's sensory overload is so immense that John wears glasses with a prescription strong enough that it's damaging her eyesight, because she would be dozens to hundreds of people's lives and their next ten seconds. Throw her into a crowd, knock off her glasses, and her forced to close her eyes or go insane from sensory overload.
Your suggestion is essentially the Sharingan, and that's 100% fine by me as a Naruto fan, so I'll revise with that. Just wanted to point out that it was default balanced.
4: Ionizing Purity is specific poison resistance, geared towards her personal vices. John doesn't go about drinking general poisons on a nightly basis, but I could see her learning to make it into a general poison resistance in future events. So, thanks for the suggestion, I like it.
5: To the point of the Masterless Visions, I suppose spoilers are due, in which the Alighieri Coven Patriarch and Matriarchs performs a Ritual of Reincarnation, which summons a soul from rhe Circle of Hell represented by the birth mother's namesake, and draws that soul back to the unborn child at the moment of birth to attempt to reawaken the Vision by generating a Destiny of overcoming Death's Embrace.
Hence, why the children are born of The Seven Deadly Sins, sired the Sin of Pride, and John is the 1,856 child, as the success rate is influence, but still as unguaranteed as any. Setting John to receive a Vision at any moment in her life doesn't overtly change anything, but it's more interesting that her Vision is with her from birth, due to reawakening to its Allogene reborn.
Alright. With all that addressed neatly and fairly, I think, I'll make the revisions and adjustments that are needed after I get off work.
And, thanks for a rather prompt reply and critiques.
Appearance: A rather tall woman, though not unusually so, standing a 5' 9", John is rarely seen outside of her business casual; consisting of a one-piece, backless, black knit dress, which stops at her midthigh and features no sleeves, but a turtleneck, strangely enough. The yarn that knits her dress is a rubber polymer that, "breathes, but doesn't yawn," as John puts it.
To complete the fancy piece, she wears a pair of stylish, stiletto heels that are 100% moulded rubber - custom-made for her feet, like she was Cinderella - but no socks, unless they make comfortable, rubber socks. Her boots aren't the only piece of shaped rubber in her apparel, however, as her unique gloves are also form-fitted rubber, with the pointer and middle finger exposed to serve as the positive and negative connections when interacting with her weapons and standard railgun technology.
Her modesty is covered overall by a long, rubber-lined trench coat that covers her from shoulder to ankle, and hides, not only her figure, but her double-barrel sawn-off shotgun that is strapped to the small of her back on a rubber strap holster that doubles as a bra.
The final piece of her look is the large, round glasses that somehow set well with her look, combining debonair and nerd in one unpredictable pack. Her shoulder-length hair is kept in a low ponytail with a rubber band, while her bangs hang long to the sides and short to the bridge of her nose in the center.
Lastly, though not an article of clothing, John is rarely seen without a cigarette in hand.
Personality: John is one of the boys, through and through, ready to throw down and fight dirty, whether the situation calls for it or not. Keen of mind, she studied the effective stability of alcohol and tobacco put under pressure of electricity within the Human body in order to allow herself to drink and smoke with reckless abandon, and to cheat at any drinking game.
Rash, impulsive, and competitive to a fault, John won't back down from a challenge, simply due to pride in herself, and winds up being thrown out of bars - either via a bouncer or a brawl (which, she tends to start).
In a fight, she relies on her brute strength and lightning fast movement to end fights quickly in a one-on-one affair, and her railgun double-barrel sawn-off shotgun to even the playing field when outnumbered.
Her worst traits, among her many bad traits, would be her womanizing and quickness to one night stands. Like a bolt of lightning, she strikes fast and rarely twice -- though, sometimes, lightning strikes birth wildfires...
Backstory: Born on the 6th Day of the 10th Month, the 1,856th child of Dante Superbia, Arch Warlock and Patriarch of the Alighieri Coven, Johanna was born, and her waking cry would bring sparks.
Inscribed on the back of her neck, as a barcode of sorts, were the numbers: 06101856, and set within was her destiny. Affixed to her crib, one of many Masterless Visions bought by the Alighieri Coven would hang; now, ascribed with the Vision of Electro.
Raised by her birth mother, Luxuria, and her concubine aunts - Gula, Avaritia, Trisitia, Ira, and Invidia - Johanna would develop in a pampered environment, but under the bullying thumbs of plenty of older siblings; brothers and sisters and cousins, all happy to create an environment that would raise not a princess, but a villainess - sorta. Most would call her a tomboy, or even just one of the boys, as Johanna didn’t fit in with her girlier siblings and cousins, but sat well at the table with the rowdier men.
Able to hold back her drink, smoke a pack a day, and pick up women while playing wingman, Johanna would gain the uncreative nickname “John”, as a result. Consequently, John's penchant for ploymorphic potions and disregard for safety has resulted in, at least, nineteen children sired by her loins.However, before all that, she would be known better for her first and only love: solving mysteries. Born with a keen intellect and eye, John would form one of many small coven-clubs within the massive coven, itself, known as the Mystery Magnet Club. Assembled of nosey children, the club would childishly explore the criminal underworld and solve “mysteries” set out by the adults, amused by their antics and growth.
Sadly, as with all things, children grow up, things change, and people drift apart. Separated, and off on their own paths, John would turn her childhood hobby into her adult job; remodeling herself into a Private Eye, and proprietor of The Witching Hour Investigations - expertly solving the problems of the upper class and lower class of Averton alike. Equipped with a pair of knuckle dusters, a shotgun, and a pack of cigarettes, John embroiled herself in anything and everything, regardless of the danger.
However, some mysteries were better left unsolved, and a warning in the form of a brutal beatdown and her unconscious body being unceremoniously dumped into a crate bound for Al-Marbara would tell John - once she woke up from her temporary coma, that is - one thing:
She got close to something interesting.
Independents:
Witch Sorcery: Born a Witch, John as an innate ability to cast Sorceries. In her case, one of her most relied on Sorceries is her [Kirin's Eyes]; though, as it was inflicted on her at birth, she has no control over it. Her usage of Sorceries on a personal level is best seen in her reality-altering [Ionizing Purity] and her body-altering [Shock and Awe].
COMBAT
Element: Electro
Main Weapon Type: Melee
Secondary Weapon Type: Ranged
WEAPON
Name: Orthodox Southpaw
Description: A pair of Electrium-Copper Alloy Knuckle Dusters, which channels John's magic to achieve a largely taser-like effect upon impact. They can also be used to transfer electricity to and from John to help supplement her reserves.
Weapon Enhancements
Frequency Lock: Liable to get wasted from time to time, even with her cheating, John has enchanted her weapons to be unusable by anyone without an intimate understanding of her biometrics and an Electro Vision.
Name: Thunderclap
Description: A double-barrel sawn-off shotgun made of railgun technology, and kept under John's trench coat for easy access and surprise attacks. It fires 12-gauge shells and specially enchanted beanbag rounds.
Weapon Enhancements
Frequency Lock: Liable to get wasted from time to time, even with her cheating, John has enchanted her weapons to be unusable by anyone without an intimate understanding of her biometrics and a matching Vision.
Fighting Style:
Ambidextrous Boxer: Left hand. Right hand. Trained to rumble with both in equal measure, John has no dominant hand, but conquering fists of the sweet science.
Quickdraw Cowboy: Practice makes perfect, and perfect is drawing a double-barrel sawn-off shotgun from the small of your back before your opposition can even blink.
Shock and Awe: Electrifying her muscles, John can force her body to achieve superhuman speed and strength for brief periods of time, similar to an injection of synthetic adrenaline. However, this comes at the cost of lightning burns to her hands and feet, despite her rubber gloves and rubber boots. Extended or extensive usage can lead to severe burns of the dermal, subdermal, and, inevitably, musculature.
Abuse will lead to crippled movement, and paralysis after a time.
Kirin's Eyes: John's glasses aren't an item for show; she doesn't even need them to see, but to damage her ability to see. Blessed with the Kirin's Eyes, John can see the immediate future of anything that exudes a bioelectrical field - granting her a sneak peek into their next ten seconds of their lives.
Good for cheating at cards and fights in equal measure, but shit for everything else. By wearing her glasses, she can dull her vision, and her Kirin's Eyes in turn. It doesn't work on inanimate objects, even once that project an electrical field, unless influenced by an Electro Vision user.
Ionizing Purity: "A Quality of Life Spell, if anything," as John puts it. This overcomplicated sorcery is a godsend to heavy smokers and hard drinkers, by purifying the "negative ions of vice" and removing the bad parts of tobacco and alcohol.
It also diminishes the "positive ions of vice" as well, so it's a give and take. It won't completely remove everything, so the risk of lung cancer and liver cancer are slim to none - but, slim is still a chance.
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