Current
"Is this a joke? What, you think--You think I can't deal with a CAT?"
3 yrs ago
"You're a slave to history."
1
like
4 yrs ago
"He was infuriated to see Jinguuji-san eating with another man."
2
likes
5 yrs ago
"When you get to the point where you can laugh at your mistakes, you'll find new things to replace what you lost."
1
like
5 yrs ago
"Damn stupid sun, making it morning whenever it wants even though I'm sleepy. Who does it think it is? Doesn't it know it has me to thank for its continued existence? "
4
likes
Bio
You showed up.
One way or another, you've arrived at my profile. You've taken a wrong turn in an alleyway because you didn't pay enough attention to your map. You've heard of something cool and new and thought maybe you'd see what all the fuss is about? Or maybe it is that you noticed like me updating my status or were lurking through an RP or something I am in and just kinda clicked my profile, that happens too. Regardless, you'll come to learn that your actions have consequences. Not this one since you can always just, like, leave.
I have a few names and I don't mind being called whatever you fancy at that given time. KingofTheSpectrum, FamishedPants, ChadChadlainn. Any derivative of these is fine as well. Most tend to use Pants, however. I'm nearing my thirties and enjoy games, anime, V-tubers, and visual novels. You can find my still-obsolete list here as it contains everything important on it.
As for games particularly, I am a huge fan of Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Solid, Nier and its sequel, FFXIV, and recently, Project Wingman.I tend to lean towards shooters and action games, but I have also wasted 8+ years on League of Legends. I think the only games I tend to avoid are card games and sports games, but there can always be exceptions.
For anime, I tend to watch whatever looks entertaining. It doesn't have to be good. I've seen a lot of the generic, poor-quality isekai harems that are out there. It's difficult to remember what I actually genuinely like, but Chaika the Coffin Princess comes to mind, as well as FMA: Brotherhood. I'm currently enjoying Tokyo Revengers.
I've read my fair share of visual novels, as my list would tell you. I can't recommend going through Muv Luv Extra/Unlimited, then playing Alternative enough! Big fan of Rance, Grisaia no Kajitsu, and Demonbane as well. I could probably go on and on about them, but I'll stop here.
PHYSICAL: E | ARCANE: D | CHAOS: D | Current Mana 216
A hearty chuckle escaped Noble Spark's lips as he watched the nuns flee. Nothing was more satisfying than seeing villains run with their tails between their legs for him and the only way it could've been better was if they had parted with promises of vengeance. But the sheer look of frustration on their faces was an acceptable substitute.
"What an awe-inspiring display of boldness, friend!" he called down to Asher, standing beside Cerberus, who did not seem to be a very joyous sort. She was still alive, however, and that was enough for him, so he was fine with that. "Perhaps next time she will aspire to be more than a means of breaking our falls?" he chuckled.
Noble Spark watched Asher as the Esper made his way toward the entrance to regroup with them, but he turned to pay attention to the dialogue between Marie and Cerberus. Even he had difficulty keeping his jovial demeanor when faced with the Freelancer's obvious denial. But he could not fault the girl for hoping for such an outcome. Death was something hard to accept for the average person, and not everyone had been exposed to this world via life-or-death situations like he had.
"That is..." he opened his mouth to speak, yet Cerberus was much less hesitant with the situation, hopping down and beating him to the punch. He raised an eyebrow at the almost nonchalant way she picked the head of the deceased Esper up, but found himself backing her statement up once he got down to the ground level. "Death is just as absolute for an Esper as it is for a human, regrettable as it may seem sometimes. But nobody should ever consider taking lives if they are not willing to have their life taken in turn. An Esper who cannot come to terms with this is better off forgetting they are an Esper at all."
He offered his piece on the situation and upsetting demise that had taken place and then nodded as Cerberus brought up that they weren't technically done with the contract yet and that Oros was supposedly not likely to be the culprit behind this attack. Truth be told, he wasn't exactly in the state to be getting into another intense encounter, but Noble Spark was not going to abandon his duty. He kept a watchful eye out for any further ambushes, as unlikely as that seemed, while joining Mika near the podium.
"I almost hesitate to read any scripture in this tainted church," he commented, his attention directed towards the podium.
PHYSICAL: E | ARCANE: D | CHAOS: D | Current Mana 216
It was important to note the rather dangerous plan Noble Spark had gone with was made and had begun BEFORE his target had lit herself on fire. Although he was prepared to incur some damage from the fall even through his own protections, he wasn't expecting to be coated in napalm. But by the time he had noticed he was about to hug a humanoid bonfire, it was a bit too late to change plans.
Yet Noble Spark wasn't the only hero around and at the last possible moment, he noticed a protective melody tank the majority of the damage he would've otherwise taken the brunt of. The grunt of pain he made wasn't near as loud as the 'GAH' he heard beneath him, so he considered the aerial attack a success.
"Such heroic timing! My thanks!" he shouted down to Asher, before feeling an elbow in his stomach, forcing him off the foe he had just landed on.
He quickly hopped back to his feet, his body yelling in pain from the strong self-induced collision he just suffered. But that may as well have been a whisper compared to the screaming his leg was doing since it was still covered in napalm. He hurriedly grasped his pant leg a bit above where it was coated and tore it off, tossing the flaming attire to the side.
Flame... off...!
By the time he had accomplished that, he had lost any potential initiative he might've had on the pyromaniac rabbit nun, and he was also running out of ideas for referencing the Human Torch. It was hard for him to decide which was the bigger tragedy, but it was easy enough to see he could probably leave the answer for later as it seemed Bobo was not exactly a fan of his aerial stunt and was now intent on taking a more blunt approach to killing him.
"A reckless charge preludes an ugly defeat, villain!" he taunted, seemingly unthreatened by her. In reality, he was a bit hesitant to get too close to a foe who had no qualms about being engulfed in flame, but confidence in every situation was the name of the game for a hero like Noble Spark. It also helped he had an ally flanking behind, though he'd need to survive an attack or two before Cerberus would be in a position to help.
Noble Spark initially intended to cut the rabbit off with a more offensive melody, but Asher seemed to want to take center stage and what kind of ally would Noble Spark be to deny the very person who just propped him up? He snapped his fingers and an area on the ground in front of him began to hum and spark with blue-hued crackles of electricity until suddenly a paralyzing bolt of electricity spawned as if from nowhere, obviously striking the area and Bobo were she to be in it.
PHYSICAL: E | ARCANE: D | CHAOS: D | Current Mana 324
Justin had been correct in his assumption something bad would happen if he didn't act. The threat was potential friendly fire from the very same Freelancer he owed a comic to, who did not let him forget that fact. Had he not had much more important tasks to focus on, he might've reminded her he would not be able to compensate her if he perished.
Thankfully his tale nor his ability to walk had to end there. He smirked wide in satisfaction at his quick thinking. But said smirk then shrunk once he noticed the gunmen training their sights on him. Unfortunately, Noble Spark was not a mastermind hero who was five steps ahead at any given moment. His heroism was intuition-based. Which was a fancy way of saying he hadn't thought that far ahead.
It took him longer than he'd like to decide on a course of action. That time spent thinking gave the construction workers time to begin firing, and his old nun 'friend' from moments earlier time to begin fire-ing. Or so he'd likely have said had he not been the target of said flames. It turned out that being set on fire made it difficult to think of puns. His leg screamed in pain as it lit aflame, but thanks to Cerberus' timely intervention, he wasn't also fatally shot out of the sky. It didn't do much for his pride as a hero to be saved by his charge, but it was much better than dying.
As he started to fall back to the ground, he knew there was little chance he was landing without suffering of some sort. But that was fine. As far as Noble Spark was concerned, a hero was destined to suffer. A hero didn't avoid their own suffering, they used it to further a good and just cause. Noble Spark centered a defensive melody on himself as he focused on the flame-wielding bunny who was the origin of his current suffering.
Let justice rain from above!
His next melody cast was a simple blink note, as he had done a few times already. Yet this one had a curious placement. It was not aimed toward the ground to lessen the fall, but instead directed above Bobo. He intended to use his fall as a means to inflict damage. Of course, had he known she was going to set herself aflame before he cast the note, he might've done something different. But with the mana expended, he braced for impact as he committed.
PHYSICAL: E | ARCANE: D | CHAOS: D | Current Mana 432
While it obviously would have been ideal to blink behind his opponent, Justin was more than content to settle with not being roasted and now being in a range where he was more of a threat. He grinned, notably wider than his typical resting one, and started to rush the flame-throwing nun with the intent to deliver quick justice to her face via the skillful use of punches. "Now that I've properly arrived, you're going dow-"
Of course, things didn't go as smoothly as he hoped and he found himself falling as the balcony collapsed. He cursed the ironic timing as he fell, thinking of what he could do to respond, only for things to get more hectic as he felt a melody hit him. While suddenly falling itself was quite disorienting, the sudden shift in scenery was beginning to make Noble Spark wish he had abstained from eating a big meal before setting off on this mission.
I suppose if I do give into the nausea, I can at least try to ruin their day...
Given how suddenly this all happened, it was difficult to understand what exactly was happening with senses alone. instead, his next actions were based on the assumption the random melody that hit him probably wasn't for his benefit as he was at least able to make out who just swapped with him. He wasn't even sure if a melody would go off before he met with whatever hazard was about to befall him, but it didn't mean he wasn't going to try. He focused his melody and guessed going upwards was probably the safest option given how far his melody was going to fling him. But being airborne was also dangerous, and he'd be looking for a safe way to land return to the ground assuming the gunmen weren't already prepared to go skeet shooting with the airborne hero.
PHYSICAL: E | ARCANE: D | CHAOS: D | Current Mana 456
It was a tense few seconds as the gunfire rained down from the windows above, Noble Spark hugging the wall as tight as he could while his ability to conduct melodies was refreshing. He was beginning to wish he had invested in, well, a vest to protect him from firearms. But for now, all he had were the heroic staples of hoping he didn't get filled with holes.
When he heard the shuffling of footsteps above him on the second floor, he quietly sighed in relief before quickly patting himself to check for injuries. Upon finding none, he thought about his next move. It may be risky, but getting up close and personal with the guys with guns might be his best move. But that was assuming they cared about friendly fire. If they didn't, well, things could get difficult.
Of course, just as Noble Spark began to settle on the plan he felt something hit him in the head with enough force to cause him to stumble a little, his cheek burning from what seemed to be ash. He hurriedly wiped it off his face, glaring upward just in time to see that Bobo had spotted him.
"Straight to the point without even an introduction? My heroic visage must've left you shocked!" he laughed confidently. But on the inside, he knew such a foe was far more difficult to deal with.
Noble Spark was, in fact, dismayed at the lack of a quip of any sort before she started spewing oil onto him, though. It was almost like he was robbed of something important. But it also convinced him she was probably more of a post-mortem quipper, and he didn't want to end up like Batman when you got a game over in his video games. And maybe more than that he didn't want to die a painful fiery death.
Either way, he was motivated to act fast yet again before she could make her obvious follow-up with napalm. A few ideas flashed through his mind, like swapping places with the nun via a melody, but against a foe with unknown defenses, it was a bigger gamble than he'd like. Failure would just lead to him being torched and he was no Johnny Storm, so he opted for something slightly more likely to at least go off.
As he had done a few times before, his arm surged with power that traced up his arm and out of his hand, escaping as a quick bolt of blue lightning that seemingly had been aimed at the Nun, only to narrowly miss and hit the top of the window she was firing out of. If he had angled the melody correctly, it would then bounce back towards the Nun, landing somewhere on the floor near her where he intended to go on the offensive. If not, well, he couldn't imagine the melody putting him somewhere worse than on the oil about to be ignited by the flames she was beginning to shoot his way. Hopefully.
PHYSICAL: E | ARCANE: D | CHAOS: D | Current Mana 564
If there was one thing Noble Spark learned from the failed attempt at a joint hunt with GEMINI, it was that Espers really did come in all shapes and sizes. Like goblin-sized, for example. So he wasn't too disappointed or surprised to hear this metallic man was yet another Esper like them.
Noble Spark returned a bout of laughter after hearing Dead Head's name. "I suppose I'll have to settle for only being half right. A pleasure to meet you, my fashionable ally. I am Noble Spark, an ally for justice!" he puffed his chest out, proudly. "Knock away! You will hear no objections from me."
His chest deflated just a little when Sovereign appeared and he felt a hand on his shoulder. "I'm afraid I don't have it on me," he softly shook his head. "The smallest bit of damage can affect the price, and ridealongs during Freelance work is not how you keep a comic in pristine condition!" he placed a heavy emphasis on the word 'smallest', having learned at an early age just how miniscule damage had to be to influence the value of a comic.
Whether that was agreeable or not, Dead Head proceeded to 'knock', causing the door the fly open and a gun to be pointed at them. Noble Spark quickly turned his attention to the red-headed being and took a defensive stance only for them to be the exact opposite of a threat to be defeated.
"Ah," his shoulders relaxed a bit when it was clear they were on the same side. "Suppose a 'knock' as loud as that would startle anyone. But now we can focus on our charge, who makes a great point!" Noble Spark did not seem to dwell on the close call they had with 'friendly' fire, instead opting to be satisfied that they'd grouped up with Cerberus.
Is there a more heroic task than defending another? I think not!
Noble Spark was more than eager to engage in an escort quest, unlike many, so now that they'd been united this mission was finally beginning to for real. It was also why he didn't speak up, though he desperately hoped his constant smirk helped hide his rather immature excitement. But he might not have even needed to worry: the atmosphere of the group seemed pretty laid back, watching Sovereign greet Cerberus. He'd only had two interactions with the lady, but there were a lot fewer mentions of payment and favors (less, not absence) than his interactions, so he mentally made a note his gold-obsessed companion might have a soft spot for children.
You know it's moments like these wh--
Noble Spark's rather meta internal monologue was interrupted by exactly what he was thinking about. As a side door burst open and smoke and wooden debris started flying through the air, the previously relaxed atmosphere became tense for a moment, with armed construction workers wearing what might've been some kind of thermal goggles and a Nun doing their best impressions of the S.W.A.T members.
He raised his gloved hands to defend against the rain of splinters, hoping both his eyes and the glasses that rested on them would make it through unscathed. Then they postured to begin firing immediately, leaving them scarcely little time to think of their reactions.
Thankfully, Noble Spark already knew what he needed to do. His impulse was to ensure Cerberus wasn't harmed, and so quickly flung his arm her way intending to cast a defensive melody, only to remember she was somewhat crowded and there was now a wall of smoke concealing her. He had no means to see her through the smoke, but having been watching Sovereign and her interact, unless they immediately repositioned, he figured he could still hit one of them by casting it where he last remembered seeing them, and so he zapped a bouncing projectile their way and hope it worked out.
"Doubt they're intending on aiming much, take cover not concealment!" he warned the rest of the Freelancers, hoping they understood what he meant by it as he most certainly didn't have the time to elaborate right now.
Then, he scrambled to take duck behind the frame of the church doors himself as a hail of gunfire and flames descended their way, which he hopefully wasn't hit by. He knew he wasn't exactly following his own advice, but it was the best he could do on the spot. For the time being, he was oblivious to the gruesome scene that had unfolded on the other end of the smoke as the cacophony of small arms fire drowned out any conversations over there.
PHYSICAL: E | ARCANE: D | CHAOS: D | Current Mana Don'tlookatthisi'mlazyrn
"Convention? Ah! I had no idea!" A voice suddenly called out from a bit behind Maria. The owner was none other than the boisterous Freelancer and comic enthusiast, Blustin Noble Spark. He pulled out his wallet, tipped it over and nothing fell out. "I would have brought some money along had I known!" he chuckled. "Maria, wasn't it? Haven't caught too many familiar faces in an operation in my career. Most times it's a one-and-done thing, huh?"
Turning his attention to the metallic being she had been speaking to, he examined the figure without any attempt to hide the fact. After a minute, he grinned wide and nodded. "An Esper... or... hmm... yes, a named opponent at the very least! Such character design would not be wasted upon a mook! Your name, is it perhaps... 'Deadeye'?" Noble Spark asked, looking at the guy expectedly, then to the church momentarily.
I wonder if it's too early in my career to be dealing with someone like Oros? Eh, what are heroes for if not beating the odds?
Suddenly, a chime rings out from inside a room in the school.
A well-dressed man stepped into an office and closed the door behind him before sitting on the chair set before a desk. This was of course where he would be getting interviewed. But what he didn't know was... well, anything.
Blinking as if he just snapped out of a daze, the man started looking around as if he were lost. "W-what is going on? Why am I in this chair... w-where am I?" the man questioned the person who had been sitting at the desk in front of him.
The admissions officer smiled warmly after a bit of a delay. "Ah, you must be intending to enroll. Can you tell me your name?" they asked, apparently not noticing the man's distress as they brought up their clipboard to write down his answer.
Despite the desperation and confusion in his voice, the man's body didn't move at all. It was almost as if he was frozen there, beside his head, which started showing signs of worry. "Did you not hear me? Where am I!?" he demanded, losing his patience.
"Samuel Howard, huh?" the officer tapped their clipboard with their pen, then raised a finger. "Somehow I doubt that's a coincidence. If you don't mind my asking, what's your relationship with Samantha Howard? Sibling? In that case, perhaps you could get her to stop staring at her fellow student, Veronica? She's reportedly been doing it for about two months. I think she's just a bit too shy to approach her crush. Thankfully her friend has been keeping her fed and hydrated..."
The officer directed Samuel's gaze with their pen, pointing out a window in the room towards a black-haired girl with piercing red eyes perched on in the corner of the gates to the school, eyeing what appears to be a popular student with great interest. And even after a whole minute, they show no signs at all they intend to move, even as their friend tries to shake them.
Samuel eventually tears his eyes off the weird scene and back to the admissions officer. "...I have never seen that girl in my life..." he trailed off. "...can we get back to WHERE I am?"
"...But I suppose we are getting ahead of ourselves here, aren't we? Sorry about that," they apologized. "Let us continue. What is your age, Samuel?"
"...This has to be some sort of dream or a monster's ability... Fine, I'll try answering your question then. I am 30 years old," he replied.
The admissions officer's pen moved as they wrote down the answer and nodded. "Fifteen, got it. And what is the gender you identify with?"
"F-fifteen!?" Samuel repeated. "Do I look like a teen to you?!"
"Male? Okay, now where are you coming from?"
"..." Sam narrowed his eyes towards the officer, refusing to speak.
"The States? I see. And can you give a brief description of your appearance for me?"
"No."
"Oh, that's good! It's pretty concise and sums you up perfectly, I think." The admissions officer finishes writing their answer, but a bird suddenly slams into the window, startling him. As the officer turns to look at what it was, Samuel catches a peek at what they had written down.
Who in the hell is Joker and what is P5?
Turning back from looking out the window, the officer sighs. "That happens a lot more frequently than it should..." they muster a smile again and continue. "So how about your race?"
Samuel rolled his eyes.
"Caucasian. And now for the more interesting part. Can you tell me how you use your magic?"
"As if I would reveal such things to... whoever or whatever you are," Sam scoffed. "Is that your ploy? To get me to divulge such information? I will not submit to this... strange form of interrogation."
"Seems like your skills may be suited to subtlety. Shadow powers are pretty handy for stealth, and I'm sure you'll master them in no time here," they assure, smiling warmly. "Now, can you tell me why you've decided to enroll?"
"I'm being forced here against my will."
"That's a pretty common reason," they comment. "But that's not to imply anything wrong with it. I mean, it's considered the best place to learn your powers for a reason. But anyway, I'd like you now to describe yourself a bit. What sort of hobbies do you have, what should someone know about you?"
"..."
"So you like jazz?" the admissions officer's smile seemed to widen a bit. "Uh, continuing," he continued. "Now final question: Tell me about your background."
"That is not a question."
After a moment spent in silence, the officer spoke up. "A-ah, that's quite the interesting history you have there for a fifteen-year-old... well, it's not my place to comment on such things, but thank you for answering," he said, placing the paper on his desk before standing up and moving to Sam's side, giving a pat on the chair. "You're all good! I think you'll fit just fine in this school. It's so diverse and full of interesting characters!" he smiled, offering his hand.
Samuel found himself standing up and shaking the hand without any intention to. It was almost like it was a reflex. "Now what? Am I finally going to be freed?"
The admissions officer didn't pay the comment any mind and completed the handshake, closing the door behind Sam as he left the room. Not long after, Sam heard a chime from inside and found his consciousness slip away from him. But his body moved regardless, disappearing down the hall.
The admissions officer leaned back against the door and heaved a heavy sigh. "Wow, that was tense!" he flipped open his phone and then dialed a number. The phone rang for a few seconds before it connected to another individual. "Y-you said that the hypnosis was perfect! If that's the case, why did he start flipping out!?"
The voice on the other end of the line laughed. "That rarely happens. Either the person is resistant for some reason or someone got a text with the default notification that sounds similar to the chime I use, so it partially failed. Not a biggie, right? You don't sound like you've been caught."
"...wait, really? Why does it sound like that? I'm at a damned school, why would you not tell me this!?" he complained, squeezing a fist in irritation.
"Didn't even think about it, honestly. And besides, this is not even the first time we've done this. It hasn't come up before?"
"...actually, no. That's... kinda lucky. Well, somehow I sorta panicked and gaslit them using that weird girl's sheet. Neither of them mentioned having a sibling but really? If you could see them together they basically are just different-aged, gender-bent versions of each other. It's insane!"
"Uh-huh. So that's your last one, is it? Can I now ask what the point of this charade was? Why did you go through all this effort to put people who aren't interested in enrolling into the academy? The hypnosis won't last forever with me maintaining it, and it would take a lot more than you can afford to get me to keep it up the entire school year."
"It's not about that. Just needs to be until school starts. We can take the actual officer and put him back in his place well before then, and nobody will be the wiser, not even him. He's still in that dazed state you put him in before?"
"Yes, well sorta. I got tired of worrying about feeding him so I just made him do it himself,"
"W-what? My plan is screwed if he realizes he's been swapped!"
"Oh, stop being such a worrywart! He won't remember a thing when I give him back. It'll be fine... probably."
"...It had better be. Anyway, that should get him back for what he did to me. Once all those completely absurd people snap back to normal, I'm sure he'll end up losing his job!" he cheered.
"So this was a revenge story? And what did he do to make you go so far out of your way to ruin his job? There's probably easier, less weird ways to go about that..." the voice trailed off.
He smirked, though she couldn't see it obviously. "It's a long, tragic tale that has too many nuances for some stranger to properly comprehend. But essentially, about 8 or so years ago he took the food I CLEARLY marked as mine in the staff room fridge at a prior job we shared. I knew then I had to hurt him just as much as he had hurt me."
"...what? That's Silly, what's the real reason? There's no way you went through the trouble of kidnapping someone, getting a magical disguise to assume their place, and then enrolling random people for no other reason than the hope that it'll get him fired."
"That is exactly what I did and if you can't understand that then you must not have ever had such a terrible thing to happen to you! I was looking forward to that sub!" he growled through the phone, taking a few deep breaths to regain his composure. "Well, that's it anyway. I'll finish the school day and disappear. Of course, I'll pay you the other half before vanishing, but I demand a discount for that dumb chime nonsense!"
"We'll see," the voice replied, though it didn't sound like it actually intended to follow through.
....
....
....
A good two weeks passed since that event.
A lone businesswoman walked through the halls of her office building, heading towards the staff lounge in order to rest and eat on her break. Her day had so far been terrible and she was very frustrated, but that was all fine. She had some leftover pasta from a restaurant she was looking forward to finishing. It would carry her throughout the rest of the day.
She heard a chime as she received a text. Opening the message app she ignored the many messages asking for her services and opened the most recent, which was confirmation that every penny she was owed for her last job had been paid. There were some issues with payment delivery but now it had been solved. Good news. It looked like her days was looking up.
Man, that guy was weird, but it's not my place to question petty revenge quests.
Once she reached the lounge, she beelined for the refrigerator with anticipation driving her every step. She yanked the door open and smiled, knowing things would only go up from her on for the rest of the day. But then she looked into the fridge.
Alright, yeah just a quick thing I threw together. LMK what you think.
Suddenly, a chime rings out from inside a room in the school.
A well-dressed man stepped into an office and closed the door behind him before sitting on the chair set before a desk. This was of course where he would be getting interviewed. But what he didn't know was... well, anything.
Blinking as if he just snapped out of a daze, the man started looking around as if he were lost. "W-what is going on? Why am I in this chair... w-where am I?" the man questioned the person who had been sitting at the desk in front of him.
The admissions officer smiled warmly after a bit of a delay. "Ah, you must be intending to enroll. Can you tell me your name?" they asked, apparently not noticing the man's distress as they brought up their clipboard to write down his answer.
Despite the desperation and confusion in his voice, the man's body didn't move at all. It was almost as if he was frozen there, beside his head, which started showing signs of worry. "Did you not hear me? Where am I!?" he demanded, losing his patience.
"Samuel Howard, huh?" the officer tapped their clipboard with their pen, then raised a finger. "Somehow I doubt that's a coincidence. If you don't mind my asking, what's your relationship with Samantha Howard? Sibling? In that case, perhaps you could get her to stop staring at her fellow student, Veronica? She's reportedly been doing it for about two months. I think she's just a bit too shy to approach her crush. Thankfully her friend has been keeping her fed and hydrated..."
The officer directed Samuel's gaze with their pen, pointing out a window in the room towards a black-haired girl with piercing red eyes perched on in the corner of the gates to the school, eyeing what appears to be a popular student with great interest. And even after a whole minute, they show no signs at all they intend to move, even as their friend tries to shake them.
Samuel eventually tears his eyes off the weird scene and back to the admissions officer. "...I have never seen that girl in my life..." he trailed off. "...can we get back to WHERE I am?"
"...But I suppose we are getting ahead of ourselves here, aren't we? Sorry about that," they apologized. "Let us continue. What is your age, Samuel?"
"...This has to be some sort of dream or a monster's ability... Fine, I'll try answering your question then. I am 30 years old," he replied.
The admissions officer's pen moved as they wrote down the answer and nodded. "Fifteen, got it. And what is the gender you identify with?"
"F-fifteen!?" Samuel repeated. "Do I look like a teen to you?!"
"Male? Okay, now where are you coming from?"
"..." Sam narrowed his eyes towards the officer, refusing to speak.
"The States? I see. And can you give a brief description of your appearance for me?"
"No."
"Oh, that's good! It's pretty concise and sums you up perfectly, I think." The admissions officer finishes writing their answer, but a bird suddenly slams into the window, startling him. As the officer turns to look at what it was, Samuel catches a peek at what they had written down.
Who in the hell is Joker and what is P5?
Turning back from looking out the window, the officer sighs. "That happens a lot more frequently than it should..." they muster a smile again and continue. "So how about your race?"
Samuel rolled his eyes.
"Caucasian. And now for the more interesting part. Can you tell me how you use your magic?"
"As if I would reveal such things to... whoever or whatever you are," Sam scoffed. "Is that your ploy? To get me to divulge such information? I will not submit to this... strange form of interrogation."
"Seems like your skills may be suited to subtlety. Shadow powers are pretty handy for stealth, and I'm sure you'll master them in no time here," they assure, smiling warmly. "Now, can you tell me why you've decided to enroll?"
"I'm being forced here against my will."
"That's a pretty common reason," they comment. "But that's not to imply anything wrong with it. I mean, it's considered the best place to learn your powers for a reason. But anyway, I'd like you now to describe yourself a bit. What sort of hobbies do you have, what should someone know about you?"
"..."
"So you like jazz?" the admissions officer's smile seemed to widen a bit. "Uh, continuing," he continued. "Now final question: Tell me about your background."
"That is not a question."
After a moment spent in silence, the officer spoke up. "A-ah, that's quite the interesting history you have there for a fifteen-year-old... well, it's not my place to comment on such things, but thank you for answering," he said, placing the paper on his desk before standing up and moving to Sam's side, giving a pat on the chair. "You're all good! I think you'll fit just fine in this school. It's so diverse and full of interesting characters!" he smiled, offering his hand.
Samuel found himself standing up and shaking the hand without any intention to. It was almost like it was a reflex. "Now what? Am I finally going to be freed?"
The admissions officer didn't pay the comment any mind and completed the handshake, closing the door behind Sam as he left the room. Not long after, Sam heard a chime from inside and found his consciousness slip away from him. But his body moved regardless, disappearing down the hall.
The admissions officer leaned back against the door and heaved a heavy sigh. "Wow, that was tense!" he flipped open his phone and then dialed a number. The phone rang for a few seconds before it connected to another individual. "Y-you said that the hypnosis was perfect! If that's the case, why did he start flipping out!?"
The voice on the other end of the line laughed. "That rarely happens. Either the person is resistant for some reason or someone got a text with the default notification that sounds similar to the chime I use, so it partially failed. Not a biggie, right? You don't sound like you've been caught."
"...wait, really? Why does it sound like that? I'm at a damned school, why would you not tell me this!?" he complained, squeezing a fist in irritation.
"Didn't even think about it, honestly. And besides, this is not even the first time we've done this. It hasn't come up before?"
"...actually, no. That's... kinda lucky. Well, somehow I sorta panicked and gaslit them using that weird girl's sheet. Neither of them mentioned having a sibling but really? If you could see them together they basically are just different-aged, gender-bent versions of each other. It's insane!"
"Uh-huh. So that's your last one, is it? Can I now ask what the point of this charade was? Why did you go through all this effort to put people who aren't interested in enrolling into the academy? The hypnosis won't last forever with me maintaining it, and it would take a lot more than you can afford to get me to keep it up the entire school year."
"It's not about that. Just needs to be until school starts. We can take the actual officer and put him back in his place well before then, and nobody will be the wiser, not even him. He's still in that dazed state you put him in before?"
"Yes, well sorta. I got tired of worrying about feeding him so I just made him do it himself,"
"W-what? My plan is screwed if he realizes he's been swapped!"
"Oh, stop being such a worrywart! He won't remember a thing when I give him back. It'll be fine... probably."
"...It had better be. Anyway, that should get him back for what he did to me. Once all those completely absurd people snap back to normal, I'm sure he'll end up losing his job!" he cheered.
"So this was a revenge story? And what did he do to make you go so far out of your way to ruin his job? There's probably easier, less weird ways to go about that..." the voice trailed off.
He smirked, though she couldn't see it obviously. "It's a long, tragic tale that has too many nuances for some stranger to properly comprehend. But essentially, about 8 or so years ago he took the food I CLEARLY marked as mine in the staff room fridge at a prior job we shared. I knew then I had to hurt him just as much as he had hurt me."
"...what? That's Silly, what's the real reason? There's no way you went through the trouble of kidnapping someone, getting a magical disguise to assume their place, and then enrolling random people for no other reason than the hope that it'll get him fired."
"That is exactly what I did and if you can't understand that then you must not have ever had such a terrible thing to happen to you! I was looking forward to that sub!" he growled through the phone, taking a few deep breaths to regain his composure. "Well, that's it anyway. I'll finish the school day and disappear. Of course, I'll pay you the other half before vanishing, but I demand a discount for that dumb chime nonsense!"
"We'll see," the voice replied, though it didn't sound like it actually intended to follow through.
....
....
....
A good two weeks passed since that event.
A lone businesswoman walked through the halls of her office building, heading towards the staff lounge in order to rest and eat on her break. Her day had so far been terrible and she was very frustrated, but that was all fine. She had some leftover pasta from a restaurant she was looking forward to finishing. It would carry her throughout the rest of the day.
She heard a chime as she received a text. Opening the message app she ignored the many messages asking for her services and opened the most recent, which was confirmation that every penny she was owed for her last job had been paid. There were some issues with payment delivery but now it had been solved. Good news. It looked like her days was looking up.
Man, that guy was weird, but it's not my place to question petty revenge quests.
Once she reached the lounge, she beelined for the refrigerator with anticipation driving her every step. She yanked the door open and smiled, knowing things would only go up from her on for the rest of the day. But then she looked into the fridge.
And so, a cycle began.
Oh, and of course the waifu tax. Ever17 is a decent read if you like stories about people being trapped in underwater theme parks, or washing machines. It also has Tsugumi and she is bae.
You showed up.
One way or another, you've arrived at my profile. You've taken a wrong turn in an alleyway because you didn't pay enough attention to your map. You've heard of something cool and new and thought maybe you'd see what all the fuss is about? Or maybe it is that you noticed like me updating my status or were lurking through an RP or something I am in and just kinda clicked my profile, that happens too. Regardless, you'll come to learn that your actions have consequences. Not this one since you can always just, like, leave.
I have a few names and I don't mind being called whatever you fancy at that given time. KingofTheSpectrum, FamishedPants, ChadChadlainn. Any derivative of these is fine as well. Most tend to use Pants, however. I'm nearing my thirties and enjoy games, anime, V-tubers, and visual novels. You can find my still-obsolete list [url=https://vndb.org/u29404/ulist?vnlist=1]here[/url] as it contains everything important on it.
As for games particularly, I am a huge fan of Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Solid, Nier and its sequel, FFXIV, and recently, Project Wingman.I tend to lean towards shooters and action games, but I have also wasted 8+ years on League of Legends. I think the only games I tend to avoid are card games and sports games, but there can always be exceptions.
For anime, I tend to watch whatever looks entertaining. It doesn't have to be good. I've seen a lot of the generic, poor-quality isekai harems that are out there. It's difficult to remember what I actually genuinely like, but Chaika the Coffin Princess comes to mind, as well as FMA: Brotherhood. I'm currently enjoying Tokyo Revengers.
I've read my fair share of visual novels, as my list would tell you. I can't recommend going through Muv Luv Extra/Unlimited, then playing Alternative enough! Big fan of Rance, Grisaia no Kajitsu, and Demonbane as well. I could probably go on and on about them, but I'll stop here.
Also, fuck you, Broken.
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;">You showed up. <br><br>One way or another, you've arrived at my profile. You've taken a wrong turn in an alleyway because you didn't pay enough attention to your map. You've heard of something cool and new and thought maybe you'd see what all the fuss is about? Or maybe it is that you noticed like me updating my status or were lurking through an RP or something I am in and just kinda clicked my profile, that happens too. Regardless, you'll come to learn that your actions have consequences. Not this one since you can always just, like, leave. <br><br>I have a few names and I don't mind being called whatever you fancy at that given time. KingofTheSpectrum, FamishedPants, ChadChadlainn. Any derivative of these is fine as well. Most tend to use Pants, however. I'm nearing my thirties and enjoy games, anime, V-tubers, and visual novels. You can find my still-obsolete list <a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href="https://vndb.org/u29404/ulist?vnlist=1">here</a> as it contains everything important on it. <br><br>As for games particularly, I am a huge fan of Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Solid, Nier and its sequel, FFXIV, and recently, Project Wingman.I tend to lean towards shooters and action games, but I have also wasted 8+ years on League of Legends. I think the only games I tend to avoid are card games and sports games, but there can always be exceptions. <br><br>For anime, I tend to watch whatever looks entertaining. It doesn't have to be good. I've seen a lot of the generic, poor-quality isekai harems that are out there. It's difficult to remember what I actually genuinely like, but Chaika the Coffin Princess comes to mind, as well as FMA: Brotherhood. I'm currently enjoying Tokyo Revengers. <br><br>I've read my fair share of visual novels, as my list would tell you. I can't recommend going through Muv Luv Extra/Unlimited, then playing Alternative enough! Big fan of Rance, Grisaia no Kajitsu, and Demonbane as well. I could probably go on and on about them, but I'll stop here. <br><br>Also, fuck you, Broken. <br></div>
Member
Kero
TaintedMushroom
Vertigo
Izurich
Majoraa
Nyahahameha
BrokenPromise
Mixtape Ghost N
twave
