Rudolf Sagramore
@Ithradine@vietmyke
"That's the plan!" Rudolf grunted in response to Galahad's orders, clamping down a small increment tighter as Ciradyl thrashed to try and free herself from his grip. The stiletto in her grip flashed as it clattered to the floor, thankfully not sinking into her captor's frame— he'd have grit his teeth through it, of course, but with one eye drenched in Mizutani's blood he couldn't have really seen it coming.
"Please, just stay put," he pleaded through a grimace, wrenching her back an inch further as he felt her, finally, go slack. "I don't wanna hurt you."
She wasn't fighting him anymore. He, as much as anyone he grew up in the crucible of Edreni martial culture, knew how to determine the difference between a pause and an end in resistance when grappling. The Faye bard had gone slack, felt that he wasn't budging. Safe. He'd gotten her to see reason, or at least give up on the idea. Provided Miina still had it in her to perform her white magic, they had slid home safe.
And then her breath began to hitch.
Had her reason returned to her? Had she broken when she realized her goals and theirs were in opposition, and couldn't overcome them on strength? Hell, was it Miina pulling that pointedly feline hiss out that had brought her down to earth?
He... couldn't say.
Her sobs were thus far silent.
Quietly, she was crumbling.
Well...
"Look, I get it." he breathed, already ceding the task of questioning to those that were there, moving to Mizutani's aid. Maybe he had things wrong, but going by feeling, and by experience, he'd been here before. Where she was. "I get feelin' desperate."
She wasn't resisting, but his grip didn't loosen. One part of that was insurance, on the off chance that sudden release might prompt her to try again. He didn't believe that, even if the possible reason she had broken down was having her sought vengeance denied. Galahad's orders had brooked no dissent.
"I get feeling like your only option left is the most drastic one. Like the goal's worth everything."
But, more than that.
The part that reminded you of the old saying. "No man is an island". She had just burned everything to get at this woman. Gone against her precious friend, in Izayoi— whose life he had saved in part just because he'd seen how much it pained Ciradyl to have lost her. She had employed all of their services to her cause by now, and had repaid that labor now with... well, he had caught the scathing look Galahad had pinned her with. That alone had a way of cutting into you through the ways you went behind his back. For the need to see Mizutani die to overtake her good sense with all of them right there in the first place, who knew what the hell else she'd done, that would have seen those she cared about resent her?
He had no right to judge, of course. He'd turned his back on the Mothercrystal. He'd hidden it from the rest of the Kirins. Had he not listened to his fear, pain, regret, and anger, neither of those things would have been true. He wouldn't have marked himself a danger to good people. He wouldn't have been able to to begin with.
"But when we throw everything away, we throw out some things we can't get back. People we can't get back."
His voice was solemn. Distant.
For a moment, the tears that had fallen onto his skin weren't warm, but cold. He wasn't high at the top level of a burning estate, but on a low, cobblestone road, in front of a heavy, closed gate. A storm overhead, thickening smoke rising from beneath... all the same, an inky haze that obscured one's view of what lie beyond. They light they sought, choked by darkness.
In a way, that was like those desperate wishes, which swallowed up and obscured what was right in front of you, of what reality would leave in their wake, once they had ceased. One way or another, the clouds would see you lost, stranded, until you were so far from who you were before you never found your way back.
So,
from one hopeless, damned fool to another, imprisoned by rash, desperate choices... some words of advice.
"Believe me. Life's a battlefield. It's hell to fight alone."