IntPenDespSword

Game: "Useless" superpowers

Wh-what? Yay, I revolutionize transportation. Unless there's some strict limitation to my teleportation which, frankly, you could have specified if so.

The power to emit a blinding, 2000 degree laser to which only your eyes are immune to the temperature of.

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted, all cats and dogs cease to exist as anything but a figment of humanity's collective imagination. A lot of people are really sad at the loss of their pets.

I wish that technique trees use to get water up to their leaves was three times stronger, allowing them to be taller.

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted. A spell makes you lose your class, and now you're just some boring, purpose- and featureless undead.

I wish things would make sense to everyone.

Game: "Useless" superpowers

Power to give anyone you shake hands with a stupid sex face grin. No off-switch.

@Foster

I will be the most successful president candidate, the only one who can stay serious.

The power to able to fly at mach 10 and be superman whilst riding a living dodo...

@PrinceAlexus

Genetics have come a long way, chumpal. One day. If my skin doesn't tear off the second I lift off.

The power to cover any roughly horizontal surface in the stuff egg whites are made of.

Tell me your birthday and I'll tell you vague details about yourself

Frankly, supporting paranormalities on a thread meant to satirize it? Y'all sum bold fellas.

10. of April, lezza go

Let's say stupid things in other languages to make them sound serious, because it's amusing.

Norwegian

Mens jeg skaffet meg en banan, kastet den fyren tretten sykler på meg.

English

While I got myself a banana, that guy threw thirteen bicycles at me.

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted. After a long day, he comes home a couple million dollars (or the local equivalent) in debt, followed by a few truckloads of cookie dough. Enjoy.

I wish life had a soundtrack that didn't get annoying.

Game: "Useless" superpowers

Haha! Now I am longer a prey to click bait! Oh and also I just look at the thumbnail of every crash course video and pass like 50 colleges just by doing that. I will be the ultimate smarty pants!

@Witch Cat

D'you know what a YTP is, son?

The power to know when a product is going to appeal to you or not just by looking at a promo pic

@Witch Cat

I'm gonna make it big as a tester in marketing, I'm sure.

The power to have appropriate elevator- or mall music play when you are in either an elevator or a mall.

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted, said culture is abolished by killing everyone doing it IRL.

I wish that everyone could play the piano professionally.

Game: "Useless" superpowers

Now you always have an excuse for not going outside!

Why obviously I am the best possible subject for hairdressers in training.

The power to know every detail about the contents of a YTP only by looking at the thumbnail.