Legend Begins

Myriad Reality

<Snipped quote by Legend Begins>

Does she listen to stories like that often?

@Magnanimity

There's not much else to do during dinner. But I appreciate the audience.

Myriad Reality

<Snipped quote by Legend Begins>

I never saw this as a day off anyway. All’s well under the sun.

@Magnanimity

*The castle rises in the horizon against the looming sunset*
Maybe Blue would like to hear the story of our adventure.

Myriad Reality

<Snipped quote by Legend Begins>

With little resistance, barring the one outlier. Not a bad day.

@Magnanimity

I hope it wasn't too much of a waste for your day off.

Myriad Reality

<Snipped quote by Legend Begins>

We did something, I can say that much for sure.
*Keeps a curious gaze on the "flare" in my hands turning it over and over on repeat*

@Magnanimity

*It has the appearance of a seamless and polished brazen cube rotated 45 degrees in two directions directions, such that the base is aligned with its bottommost point*
And we got everything done we needed to accomplish.

Myriad Reality

<Snipped quote by Legend Begins>

*Sighs and slouches slightly in my seat*
Thank goodness…

@Magnanimity

We sure lucked out back there.

Myriad Reality

@Legend BeginsYup thx for evaluation. Deffo getting into these style of RP 'boots'

Wellp corrected the best i could for now, lemme know if it's better, then do i continue roleplaying with Soldier Boy on his mission until anyone arrives and meets him? or wait for someone to interact with the scene?

Like i could definitely RP and have him do things and follow his general path and mission until outside influence change them, just looking to be sure.

@Shadrack Nor

Woah sorry, I passed clean out.

I’ll send somebody to talk to him.

Myriad Reality

<Snipped quote by Legend Begins>

I don’t know anything, man.
*Picks it up and then gets back in the car with everything in tow*

@Magnanimity

*Starts back up and successfully moves through the forest until we start to near the clearing*

Myriad Reality

@Legend Begins Okay then... here goes nothing... let me know how bad i just messed up in my first post 😅😶‍🌫️

@Shadrack Nor

Really good for a first shot! Just a couple minor items:

We always use asterisks for actions. Just a formatting thing. On the sentences themselves,

I wink at the dame beside me, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of amusement and admiration. She knows a real man when she sees one, even if he's a little out of place in this futuristic saloon.

Sentence 1 is stellar. Absolutely perfect. Sentence 2 is more of a thought than something observable in this case. If I were you, I'd tie it back to something a third-party observer could pick up on, like *Winks at the dame beside me, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of amusement and admiration. She seems to eye my physique, although marginally perturbed by the clash between my outfit and the saloon*

Same applies to the other action. First sentence nails it, the next few are more thoughts. No qualms on the dialogue, that's effectively free ball. Nice work!

Myriad Reality

<Snipped quote by Legend Begins>

Tryin' my best then Mars it is! YYYATZEE!

Question... am i allowed to at least narrate his thoughts? or literally just have to act him up as if i'm literally him and everything is just as much as he can see and feel and touch?

@Shadrack Nor

There are ways to cheat it, but it all needs to be from the perspective of an outside observer.

You could use powerful rhetoric like *Wanders aimlessly around the office, drooping my shoulders into a mope when I pass my ex-colleague's cubical*

In terms of cheating, something like *Frowns when I pass my ex-colleague's cubical, clearly upset by his recent departure* shows the character's motives and feelings that aren't explicitly visible.

Try to avoid loading exposition into those, but you can leak character thoughts through actions by ascribing an intent to what they're doing. Just try to avoid outright saying what they're thinking, e.g. *Searches for a way to exit the VRMMO, slowly growing terrified by the thought of being stuck in this world* In that example, them looking for a way to exit and growing visibly more panicked is enough for the reader to infer their thoughts. I guess you could say it's a big "show, don't tell" challenge.