LetterA

⋆ Greenwing Academy for Troubled Supers ⋆

@sakurasanI literally just skimmed it and I don't think you understood my problem despite the five paragraph essay I provided. I looked at your update sheet specifically for things I expected you to fix, and somehow you updated your sheet without improving it on things I pointed out and made the case even worse. I didn't even read the bio yet and I kind of feel like I know you didn't hold back on being OP on that either. Considering I am still at work and I don't want to put everyone else through another ridiculous tirade, I'll keep it at this for now. Look to others for guidance of you need to, be it asking them personally or just looking through how not overpowered their sheets are. Expect a more thorough and detailed PM after work.

⋆ Greenwing Academy for Troubled Supers ⋆

@Traitor im @ work so i can't poorly draw it but,, , thaT is nO t the be a r trap THA t firs T cam e in 2 my H. E A D

@Wickerno it's OkaY!!!!!! SlEeP is GOOD E Sp comiNg froM me ,, , whO loVes SlePe i still appreci8 ur presence and thank u 4 assurin me ur still here ((((': take ur time i hope u feel better:0!!

⋆ Greenwing Academy for Troubled Supers ⋆

@Traitori was gonna make trap bc i lov e traps but I already got my quota fiLL E D SO YE S pleAse makE a traP this rp n e e DS a traP

n if i end up makin a trap l8r in life they can n friends (((((':

⋆ Greenwing Academy for Troubled Supers ⋆

@HalfOfLancelot i m fuCkiNg piSSing mysElf this is hilarioUs shI T but whE e Ze ok,,, , u finish ur thing up,, Consider m e hyP e--- n ur probably gonna expand on this l8r but if u could js include more info on the physical n mental strengths lik e, , speed strength n stamina,,, y e s

@sakurasan !!!!!! i am glad u r not discouraged!!!! nothin i adore more in a person than someone willin 2 push em selves n improve (((((((': i hope u think things over n surprise me w somethin rly cool !!!!!! i kno u got it in u ((((:

⋆ Greenwing Academy for Troubled Supers ⋆

sh it its midnight n i barely finished perri's profile but ofc i gotta make up a shitty long ass history in the middle of class as the icin on the cake--

ok, ,, , goo o d news, ppl who r accept ed can post their sheets o n the character tab ,, ,, mmm m mm m,, ok now in oRDer
@Undine she's fucking depressing n awful and like sasu ke,,, but plushies rainin on her head while ur talkin 2 her,, , ,, thinkin murderous thougths has never been cuTEr ;0 accepted
@sakurasan I saw this hours ago and ever since then you have been continuously updating it which is good, never be pleased with your work, always strive for perfection but like... you're literally... i'll. , ,, explain l8r jst scroll down, ill put it in a hider so it doesnt make a fukin wALL, ,, , whe Eze-- unaccepted
@McHaggisa rarity! the status of bein unrestrained while bein a fucki n g idiot will no doubt come in2 conversation in the rp, , ,,, , ni c e, tmhumb spups accepted
@Liriia thmbubs up, , ,, good job, ,, i hav nothin 2 say bc all has ben said,, , acpepetped.

sakurasan

Okay, let's get to it! The picture change is nice, I appreciate it especially after the huuuuge change in obvious faceclaim to just a generally much nicer aesthetic image. Now that's out of the way, and also because it's midnight, I haven't slept in a while, and in general the whole way you handled this was poor, I'm going on a deeper analysis of why I don't like your character and you need to start over. It's a simple case of trying to shove all this shit into a suitcase and realizing "fuck, wow, none of this shit will fit" and taking everything out and organizing it so shit will fit.

To begin with, you bringing my attention to the fact you edited your sheet is like, a sort of shorthand for saying, "my character is finished, please give it a once over and determine whether or not I can be accepted in this rp." And I did look at your character from the time you first posted it ten hours ago, and I gave it a look over and found problems that I couldn't put down due to being on mobile so I put it on the back of my head. I came over several times afterwards in the middle of creating my own character, to see that you had and were continuously updating and changing what I'd assumed was already a finished fleshed out character. I'm not saying this is a problem per se, to edit your character, but it's a problem if you've sort of implied that they were done being edited with.

Not only that, however, but the way you edited your character without waiting for a 'go' from me at any point during your process has not only failed to prevent unacceptable content from appearing in your sheet, but has also continued to pile it on. Your continuous editing without waiting for a word in from me has not helped you in creating a decent character sheet-- if you read my last dissertation on The One's sheet and tried to learn from that, that's great!!!!! I approve learning from others' mistakes!!! But if all you read from that was, "Oh, he mentioned not having enough words" and decided to continue to add more words and look past all the other crap I vomited about BEING OP, then you are not learning from others' mistakes, you are simply twisting it in hopes I'll overlook it for you.

So, then, wherein lie the problem? If you have not realized yet, your original post in the first page is still the same one that you said was the edited version ten hours ago on this second page, and in comparing them, anyone can see that you gave your CS the sheet equivalent of a boobjob. A pimp my ride version of character sheets, except I am looking at all these hardcore attachments that just don't need to be there and I don't know where to start. First, you aged her down(though that was a more recent edit, given it wasn't that way thirty minutes ago), which wouldn't necessarily be a problem, but you somehow thought this was okay after giving her literally an arsenal of skills and talents not even an anime protagonist would have two episodes into a series unless that series was sao which everyone agrees is awful.

Your ability is confusing and can be worded a bit differently, but I didn't mention that earlier and I take fault in that, especially since it is one of the few things to remain unchanged. The one thing that needed changing and you didn't, and I'm sorry it took me only now instead of sooner to bring it up. That was my fault.
Her physical strength barely indicates what she can or cannot do. From the mess that is the abilities section I gather that her strength is partially reliant to her ability, but then you don't explain what she is physical-wise without the Ability. You say she is fast and strong, but is that because of her power, or something she has developed?
I don't know why you changed her childish mental state into a tough bitch because that was one unique trait that I was willing to pass off for her. Her having been childish fit in with the "weak" image she was trying to portray but now, the way you forced the tough bitchiness on loses the little yandere vibe you had earlier and barely fits in with the rest of the forced puzzle pieces you were trying to put together. (also wtf how does she lov logic but not lov math like,, , ,, ??? ?? ? ?? math is the most universal thing along w music, which btw,, , , is also math ., , ,, , )
The topic of drastically changing her mental age being confusing plays in to the weakness section because a childish girl who was just like "Lalala" turning into wild blood bitch is a sick image, but a girl who's cold and calculative turning sadistic is sort of just a disappointing, "well, okay."
The Restrained portion has me miffed probably because I offered you a great idea and you took it-- but only sort of. Coughing up blood while harming someone isn't a bad enough repurcussion-- my earlier suggestion of literally vomiting blood while using the power at all is not only hilarious if she uses the ability in serious situations, but also serves as a humanizing point that will help others this literal mary-sue is somewhat human and will die if they use their power too much because holy FUck she is vomiting blood. You tried to make it your own, though, but you tried weakly. Put your strength in the important things and not the small stuff like the other section(which, don't worry, I will get to.)
The background didn't change which sucks because it needed a revamping. You can't tell a half assed angst story like that and expect me and others to just be like "well, okay!!! sounds good!" If she was such a tough bitch and, good looking to boot, why was she such bully fodder?

Now we get to the main part of the problem and holy fUCK i've spent a number of characters on you, I condensed that shit above and if you want a more in depth analysis feel free to message me. But the bulk of my problem lies in literally the two kind of unimportant sections of any character sheet which you somehow decided was the focal point of the piece. The interests and the Other section got the most tit in the titjob metaphor I mentioned earlier on because holy cow did they make a big change. And the thing is, in the times I've seen you editing your profile, it was only for these two ones you kept returning to-- which again, why? Your bio still needed work? You have "blah blah" in there, I kinda thought that meant you were gonna edit it??

Only because it is almost 1am and I spent forty minutes writing this in a half-asleep stupor, I am gonna boil the last part down into main points. First of all, have you ever heard of a Mary Sue? I'm just realizing this now, is this actually a deep prank to make me go on a huge rant and have ryo run into this and think I'm fucking insane for going off? Am I being punked? Because oh my God your character which was at the "chuuni" level earlier on just nosedove into mary-sue territory. Short break, I just refreshed the page again and you added the sunshine and gumdrops in-- but why, what was the point---

Back to the broadcast, here is a list of additional specialties you have given this now 17yo girl- violin prodigy, mastery in poison, gun expert, dog whisperer, disowned adopted orphan(and this is just me pulling it out of my ass because I still don't know was she adopted, did family just take her in I don't know). Basically, look at this list here. Realistically, do you think a seventeen year old would have all of these abilities? Just a normal seventeen year old, no powers. And if you think, realistically, that a normal seventeen year old girl with those special set of skills does exist, then that poses this question: with all those things tucked under her belt plus the weird blood power thing, what the fuck is she doing in a school? How is she not harley quinning her ass through the cities and causing terror because apparently she is more than capable to do so?

my eyes r gettin weird i cant continue this but pm me 2morro after school n work n we'll discuss u scrappin this character entirely (whcih sucks bc i bet u worked mad hard on her, but also no it doesn't suck bc this character is awful and the only development we'll get out of her is nothing) and makin a new one which will hopefully b less of a mary-sue

god i hope im not bein punked

ok i hav essay 2 do and like 50 art projects to masturb8 2 goodn i g ht u shitS

⋆ Greenwing Academy for Troubled Supers ⋆

Justice Rivera

"Remember when you were like, two inches tall and couldn't reach the shelves and shit?"

J U S T I C E . R I V E R A

Name:

Justice Rivera

Age:

Eighteen

Height; Weight:

6'4"; 150lbs || 4'; 50lbs

Stripes:

12

Reason for Admission:

• A general dick as a kid.
• Reinstated after setting last school on fire.
• Other guilty cases of pyromania

Years Admitted:

Seven

---

Special Abilities:

Age Manipulation. With his ability, Justice is able to transform the age of what he so desires, be it simply in physical form or in mentality as well. He cannot change the mentality of a person into a child without also changing their physical appearance, however changing their physical appearance can be done without messing with their head. In a rare medusa-like case, all Justice needs to be able to change something's age is make eye contact-- even one eye will do. Physically touching a person has been disputed to work as well, though given people make eye contact before he gets a hand on them, no one is really sure.

Physical touch is, however, needed to affect things that don't necessarily have eyes, like trees. The ability affects anything that has either grown or have the potential to grow, so uh, read as: pretty much all living things except living things about to die. He cannot use this aging ability to kill, given as death is not technically an age. Shriveling up a tree until it's old or reversing the growth of a tree and turning it back into a sapling is no problem for Justice, though if he doesn't revert it, the repercussions could end up being weird no matter the subject, be it animal, human, or nature, leading into mental deterioration or dna mutations. The age changes tend to be permanent unless Justice wills it differently.

That said, it can be used for aging someone up to heal a wound(he can't age the wound specifically), but the process ages them only if the wound would have healed naturally without the aid of modern science and obviously can't be used too much given there's a point where a person would just turn really really old or not heal at all.

Physical Strength:

Clearly, in his different forms, Justice's strengths and weaknesses differ. While he is a fast runner in both bodies, the speed differs from him being in his normal form to his child form. He is flexible and dexterous, with a capability in both bodies to climb trees and hang upside down, as he is prone to doing (as well as lighting them up). However, the muscles that Justice has developed in his times doing crazy fucking shit does not translate to his younger body, and things that would seem like an easy thing for Big Justice, like running long distance or picking up people may seem different to Young Justice.

The same goes for the other way around, things Young Justice might be able to do not translating as well when he reverts to his original size, either because of weight difference or just because the difference in the length of his limbs are too drastic and weird. That said, he may come off as clumsy in either forms, and despite his affinity in climbing shit or whatever, he is bound to trip over his own two feet due to the confusion on his proprioception.

Mental Strength:

Justice is definitely collected, and despite the ever changing of his body, handles it quite well. The fact he changes form so much should also be a hint as to his tendency to be stubborn, not a bone in his body that enjoys losing or quitting. He's self confident despite his flaws and faults, rarely anything brushing past his thick skin. Past that, however, there are obviously some issues regarding his thought processes, given his pyro tendencies and tendency to lie about the smallest things. He feels neither closeness nor distance in others, though understands the concepts of friendships and love and acts upon such concepts if he sees fit.

School wise, Justice was never into academia and is close to illiterate, things like reading taking him a long time. He identifies much easier with pictures and images, and it's unknown if this is an effect of changing bodies so often. While he doesn't quite understand physics in the mathematic sense, his educated guesses are pretty good, Justice being more instinctive than anything, be it from how to break a fall without breaking anything, or throwing things at a distance.

Weaknesses:

Due to his always changing limb size, Justice never had time to truly get used to each version, and whenever he did get used to one version, he'd do something to transform into the other version and ultimately continue the cycle. As such, the confident Justice tends to come off a bit clumsy at times, more than once burning himself as he tried to head out of a fire he'd started. Not only that, but his hubris is to the point of unhealthiness, probably bound to get him landed in a real jail anytime soon. Honestly, if he did get badly hurt or burnt, he would probably be too proud to ask for assistance. As stated earlier, he is damn near illiterate and too proud to try and fix it. He has a deep dislike for people who talk too much about things that don't interest him, especially considering his personality-- he'd rather run off than sit and listen. Furthermore, he has a bad smoking habit, developed at the young age of a year ago and thus often gets antsy or just straight up just starts his smoke break wherever he is.

Restrained?:

Yes.

Details:

If Justice uses the ability, he can only change the age somewhere within a six months' span, the change will not affect the mental state, and the change can only last three minutes. In simpler terms: his power's useless. If he pushes it, however, a feeling akin to rubberbands tightly wrapping all over his body comes over him and he makes a physical transformation into a child version of himself. His mental age for the most part does not differ, which makes it weirder to see a little kid walking around smoking and shit. His appearance tends to stay consistent, though if he continued to push the limits of the collar, he would probably only continue reverting further as a child.

---

Background Info:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Interests:

Other:

Peridot King

"Pardon, Monsieur Officer? Moi? A bad girl?"
A . B U B B L Y . P E R S O N A L I T Y

Name:

Peridot "Perri" King

Age:

Eighteen

Height; Weight:

5'2; 132lbs

Stripes:

Eleven

Reason for Admission:

1st Admission: Bullied Kids in her Elementary Class.
2nd Admission: Pleaded Guilty to seducing teachers in Middle School.
3rd Amission: Started a cult following in class that lead to the murder of a male teacher.

Years Admitted:

Five on three different occasions

---

Special Abilities:

Bubble Manipulation- Perri has the ability to create bubbles or control them in expanding or retracting. Her bubbles, of course, are stronger than average bubble and will not pop without her command.

Physical Strength:

Perri is moved by motivation. If she refuses to do something or has no desire to do something, she has no power to do that thing. However, if you motivate her with certain points of interest she has been well known to run extra fast or lift a good amount. For someone who does not exercise, any exertion of her body based on motivation can make her muscles very sore afterwards. She does nothing to train her body spare stretches, and doesn't push herself. Overall, her body isn't as great as it could be, but can be motivated to do more than it should be able to.

Mental Strength:

Looking past the whole "kooky" vibes, Perri seems to be quite mentally strong, which is actually not uncommon to sociopaths. She has an interest in games made with special complicated rules, and despite it seeming as though she makes them up on the spot, if a person keeps notes, they realize she truly is playing by the rules. Which is a big metaphor on the way Perri's mind works-- she herself plays a game in which the whole world is her arena, and plays with rules that seem to always change but don't actually. She is patient and impatient, playful and direct. It takes a lot to break her, but she often breaks herself so you just have to wait till she reaches that point.

The fact that she can be motivated to run faster despite her body not being able to do that much without the motivation says a lot about her obsessive qualities as well. A tendency to warp the importance of certain things in her mind make her moral standing a bit harder to grasp. Not to mention that beyond that, she isn't necessarily lacking in creativity-- even with an ability that is as silly as bubbles, she has found many ways to use it to her enjoyment.

Weaknesses:

A girl as strong as Perri is also quite weak. From her obsessive mindset to the way she pushes her body past the limit in order to appease her obsessions, it is only a matter of time she loses a limb doing something drastic. She also has a strong distaste of consistent noises, or noises with a pattern to them, from tapping feet to a ticking clock. They irritate her inexplicably, and she'd rather scream to drown the sounds out than continue to hear them. Perri often finds herself in compromised situations due to her lack of motivation, be it being tied up and taken advantage of or being stuck with lawyers that don't do their jobs properly. She is bleeding bad luck and anyone that takes a further step back to look over her history can see it.

Restrained?:

Yes.

Details:

When she laughs, screams, or in general has a diffent voice pattern, bubbles come out of her mouth. That includes making silly voices or whispering. Often times she will be caught whispering in class due to the appearance of the bubbles-- which, similarly to the ones she can create, last longer than actual bubbles but unlike the ones she can create, are not indestructible. They make for a bad trait to have when playing hide and seek.

---

Background Info: (a bio, can b lengthy or short or bulletpoints on why they r who they r-- js basic shit on their history)

Interests:

Robin Lowe. Never has a boy been so frightened by her and had such big eyes and pretty hair. Perri wants to scrape his skin off with her nails and trace the shape of his ears with her tongue. All weirdly obsessive stuff.
Bugs and tiny animals. Perri has a side interest in pinning butterflies down or nailing mice onto crosses, countering that it is a hobby and not simply a sick outlet to release the shit going in her head. Plus, she loves how tiny and terrified they get.
Spelling. She can't actually spell for shit, and a teacher she once had told her to spell words in her sentences that she said to both introduce vocabulary words into her daily life and also spell it. Words now interest her, though not as much as the above two.
Strong scents. No explanation here, other than she finds them intoxicating.

Other:

Hangs out with Anita's crew to smoke and snort shit in the bathroom but she's not really /in/ the crew because her obsession isn't with Anita.
Really bad at beatboxing.
Rolls up her long skirt instead of actually getting just one of the shorter skirts.

⋆ Greenwing Academy for Troubled Supers ⋆

I M P O R T A N T . R E V E A L S

Slightly less dorky NPCs.

TO BE ADDED

PJO: New Generation

s w e e t ok,, , after work i will bake up a cake,, , it'll b R A D

⋆ Greenwing Academy for Troubled Supers ⋆

h o ol lyly l , ,, shIT ,, ,, ok ,,, hold on,, , , i just speed drew a fuckin
i mad e a neW chaRACTER,, WHY THE FUCK iS THE CHAraCTER shEET SO LOGN, ,, --- ok lets get down 2 business

@Undine the chuuni npc is gonna see her as his manic pixie girl n itll b hot n embarassin bc le ts b real, ,, real life is, ,,

@The One If the only thing that you'll be editing is the background, I might suggest taking a step back and scrapping the whole thing, because honestly this is unacceptable. I'll let the age slide and let him have a moment of a doubt that he was held back, and arguably having a 20 year old prince knee deep in elementary school kids who are a hassle could be hilarious, but the rest of the profile makes it seem like this will be the opposite of a joke fest-- which, as I have made very clear, this RP is supposed to be.

This RP is comedy first, badass second. So, to have a guy who was admitted solely because "his parents wanted him to make friends" is unacceptable because why, in heaven's sake, would a king and queen or whatever other royal court, send their son into a prison school of delinquent to make friends? Not only will they be a bad influence for what already looks to be a shitty and arrogant son, but the image would be terrible for whatever country, with the news that the prince is playing nice with possibly the worst kids in the world. He would be better off playing protagonist in a better rich school with better rich superpowered kids.

Furthermore, me making this dissertation on your character sheet probably already has a higher word count than your sheet itself which is a problem. Nevermind the OPness of your character's ability (controlling both light/fire and darkness? What RP universe do you live in where such a combination is allowed?), the fucking Restraint is... less than desirable. If you took even a two second glance at other sheets you can see that Restraints have to do at least with the Power they have-- which it doesn't, and is making me think holy shit you probably won't read this because there's too many words.

I'm gonna cut this short because I just had that realization and basically- scrap the whole idea, start from the bottom. I can deal with an asshole, but I need an asshole with depth. Bakugou from BNHA is a huge dick, but is believable because he's more than a one sentence description. If you need assistance in making a sICK character with depth and decency, feel free to talk to me, I have honestly been playing with this idea for years and I am not about to let it suffer because you want to play someone OP as fuck.

Also please change the image. This is last because it's more personal taste than anything.

⋆ Greenwing Academy for Troubled Supers ⋆

@Wickertak e us 2 the deepest depths

also i made npc list,,, if u wanna b part of Anita's gang,, feel free,,, they r mostly here 2 release all the ideas i had in the two years this has been in my fucking mind christ move shit along or b general dic ks

EDIT: fuck i posted right after u
@The One 2 is the limit 4 now but dw i understand ur feels, ,, , holds u, ,, b patient,,,
s o o n