Lith

Lithfangel's Character Emporium.

Gonna start making characters here now. Hell. I may even use them. You don't know, I don't know, we don't know.

Note most of my roleplaying is in arena/1v1 fighting scenes and in Roll20 ran Pathfinder. I'm probably down for other stuff but these characters may not work so well for some genres. Can't see them being the most impeccable for a romance roster. Doesn't mean I won't do it, but it does mean you should really know better.

Gonna try to make one shitty character a day the next several days. Here's my first one.
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[Name] :: Thomas "TJ" Jones Walker.



[Profession] :: High School Janitor.
[Height] :: 6'1"
[Weight] :: 168 lbs
[Reach] :: 76"
[Age] :: 32 years
[Male] :: Heterosexual but questioning.
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Story

TJ was a well known staple among the school district he worked within. If you wanted it clean, why, hire ol' Thomas. He'd scrape the gum and shine the toilets with the best of them. However, rumors began to propagate that he was perhaps too energetic. Yes, lifting weights and drinking protein shakes during work hours wasn't all that strange, but him having mock MMA fights with mops while being caught yelling at the top of his baritone voice "You're dead now bitch!" became alarming.

It all came to a head when in a psychotic and paranoid delusional mind break, TJ beat several students unconscious because he was convinced the "Feds" had infiltrated the school and body swapped with them.

However, thanks to an unfortunate series of clerical errors in his paperwork, not only was the ex-janitor released with time served -- he was not added to any "lists."

An unfortunate mistake for his new school district, where even now, he cleans with vigor -- all the while harboring a lethal edge; a killing intent.

Abilities

Thomas is a "normal" human by any standard definition. Defined skin tone and muscular, but generally mundane. Instead, where he shines is his mastery of janitorial duties.

Squeegee: 53" handle, 18" "blade." A cobalt blue paint job completes this destructive weapon. On the surface, sure, it's predominantly used to maneuver fluids. However, with its reach and dual-hook design, it can "rake" in enemies without a problem.

Broom complete with Swivel Dustpan: 10.4 x 11.6 x 52 inches, the broom weighs in at 4 lbs while the pan at 10. Decent reach weapons to be sure, but their true deadly nature lies in the combination; by quickly sweeping up an area, TJ unlocks access to projectile powder-based weaponry within the pan which can blind and disorient his foes.

MicroTwist Microfiber Twist Mop: Snap! Pop! At 57.5 inches, one may think this microfiber mop is simply a variant of the dreaded Squeegee. And that one would be mistaken. For while 10 lbs on its own, upon soaking in liquids, the "twist" comes into play; upon rotating the shaft, the Twist Mop transforms its head into a jabbing and bludgeoning baton that can batter foes into bloody submission.

Generic Glass Cleaner: In a convenient 2' spray bottle at 26oz each, TJ has two of these bad boys on the ready at all times. Oh sure. They clean glass, chrome, and other such surfaces quite well. No need to worry there. Your concern will be when he douses your eyes with alkali-based cleaner that isn't diluted. Burning eyes, massive irritation, and seething pain awaits.

Samsung Galaxy Axe: Oh sure. It's a bit of an old model, first released in 2011. But come on.



With this bad boy hooked up to a monthly data plan with no cap, TJ can look up all kinds of information he can wield against his foes. Weather, time of day, easily Googled information - there's almost no limits as long as Google hasn't removed it from their search results. All from its convenient slide-out touch keyboard.

Anti-Slip Shoes: Falling is seriously uncool. Size 14 US Men, these comfortable shoes weighing in at 9.7 oz have a mesh reinforced wingtip to avoid crushing damage from the everyday menace of walking around a high school, along with systematic layers of proprietary cushioning compounds softly padding each step.

Stain Resistant Jumpsuit: The janitor staple. This version is flame retardant, cut and stab resistant, and sewn with reinforced microfibers for that comfortable yet functional build that lets you tackle anywhere be it the cafeteria, the boy's locker room, or even the urinals.

And more???: Yes, as terrifying as this may be, janitors have access to many cleaning items and implements depending on school budget. As such, while TJ keeps these items above on his person or in a small rolling cart, the truth is: his arsenal is vast. Perhaps even unending. Bleach? Sometimes he needs that and gets it out of the chemical closet. Chlorine? What the swim instructor won't know won't hurt them.

TOP 10 GREATEST RP FAILURES NOT CLICKBAIT YOU WON’T BELIEVE THESE TRUE STORIES 😱😱😱

Hm. My greatest RP failure is wanting to be in the perfect environment/head space to start writing.

Obviously based on my post count and registration date here, you can guess how that's worked out.

Across various sites, arenas/tournaments kept a kind of mandated frenzied pace / shit talk flow that would jar me out of it. And I do Pathfinder RP fairly often that scratches that creative bug, but it's easily my greatest flaw that I spend way more time thinking about than actually performing any writing.

I think I've even spent more time creating characters, video game RPG style and reiterating on them over and over and over, than playing them. That "taking the plunge" step eludes me. In fact I'm already thinking about making some characters before I shape up and go into an RP proper again. lol

My advice based on that is don't get into the habit of waiting for the stars to align like me; slap whatever shit down you can and be willing to fail sometimes. Because sub-optimal yet tangible beats optimal but at most hypothetical.

Step Up, Get Knocked Out

@LeeRoy

I'm almost ready to KO your character with a mundane janitor and I see you're roleplaying offsite.

But you won't escape the mop for long.

Ask an Admin, v2.

Whenever our group of troublemakers keeps their noses clean for a while,

@Hank

Rather, there's an organized group of troublemakers here? O_O

Every bit ominous.

Nonetheless, thank you and staff for your hard work.

Obviously many people don't comprehend the struggle to keep internet communities toxicity free.

Pre-Christmas Tournament Round 1: Xavier Bloodbayne Vs Tristwich

My. What a glorious battle this has been so far, and a twofer for the price of one! I may have to review this one!

I'll Show You Why I'm at The Top of the Food Chain

I'm impressed actually Lee.

Except I'm not, what kind of fool do you take me for?

I already beat you to this concept for Pathfinder.



Strangely Magnus denied me getting to play this. But regardless, 8 swords. You can apparently wield swords in your mouth, armpits, and leg pits. This adds a lot of options. Why not spears?

I'll Show You Why I'm at The Top of the Food Chain

Yes. That's about right actually. I feel a kindredship with that man.

And Raddum. I can only make prime Italian foods with the finest ingredients. I'm sure as the fight gets better, the review will get even more informative.

I'll Show You Why I'm at The Top of the Food Chain

I see no better place than to post this here. Good luck gentlemen, I - Lithfangel the Great, known by no other alias ever, will actively narrate your amazing battle. I'm very experienced at doing this. Feel honored.
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(UPDATED 12/29/2017)
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[LeeRoy Post I]

Roy is a monkey I guess? He has some anime hair breeze shit go on.



Pretending paranoia somehow justifies him having Spiderman powers and just magically knowing bad shit is about to happen to him, he begins to pose with his dual wielded spears. You know, Roy's playing himself and I bet he's working two poles all the time so this seems pretty immersive.

He's got "work boots" on - careful other guy, those're gonna have metal plates in them!

It dawns on me this guy is standing out here in the winter cold freezing to death carrying two spears but has decided not to start a fire. I guess that'd be useful. Can't have that.
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[Harbinger Post I]

Some metaphor about a shadow bitch dancing in terror or something. I dunno. It's flowery. I'm gonna skip that.

Wait...



It all reads like this! I'm doomed! I'm no good at deciphering this kind of gibbity gock while I'm drunk! Granted I've not drank any alcohol yet but I get the feeling when this fight takes off, I'm gonna kill my liver.

Well. Uh. The lion... is a ghost. And the ghost lion is hungry. So it begins sniffing really good. What it sniffed, Roy, was so quiet that this made it a better target to hunt I guess because bullshit. The lion has like, fucking.. sonar radars that can detect footprints under snowfall I guess. I never learned this in college. I was more of an art student myself, wanted to really waste them grants.
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[LeeRoy Post II]

"Oh man, it just conveniently dawned on me that I could be tracked if I leave footprints." Roy lied, closing out the web browser on his computer with roleplayerguild.com in a tab on WaterFox x64 before pushing the desk into some snow quietly and resuming stroking his spears.

Dual wielding spears you see, really gave you all kinds of advantages. Like a reduced range of motion, less thrust, less power in a strike, dead spaces to defend yourself- it's really the way master martial artists like to do combat with spears. I recommend it.

VATS from Fallout was on I guess because he already knew the invisible ghost lion was somewhere nearby, so he knew if he started running, it'd float after him really fast.

We get some riveting backstory.

Roy as a boy was unhealthy. So his father, in a stroke of genius, made him swing an axe like a fucking Baki the Grappler character until he aggravated his illnesses and died. We get no insight into how this has any relevancy to the situation right now where Roy's out in Antarctica trying to kill ghosts with anime spears but I guess it was no time like the present.

Finally realizing a fire might be a good idea (all too late), Roy knew he couldn't stop to make one yet as the encounter music from old computer RPGs was on. So there had to be enemies nearby.

Roy was a psychic.

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[Harbinger Post II]

The ghost lion I will now name Snoop Dog was inhaling tall grass, as it told itself the trail to Roy was irrelevant despite harping on it seconds ago. A lying lion. That sounds funny if you say it out loud. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

The lion had ascertained this was unlike any animal it had encountered thus far, and therefore, it clearly needed to go fuck with it when there's likely other easier game nearby. Well worth the risk!

It began using its [Shenanigan Eyes] to scan the environment. The second the victim moved within sight of its motion detecting nightvision, the ghost lion Snoop Dog would annihilate said target. Its tail flaps back and forth, because when you want to sneak up on something, pretending you're a house cat that just found a dead mouse and you want catnip as a reward is really the peak of nature's evolutionary path. Roy sensed this ghost by beating his sticks off, there's no way he won't magically see the tail wagging. gg no re Snoop Dog.

And that is the tale of this epic battle so far as told by the mighty Lithfangel. Who will win? And who... will survive...?

I'll try.

welcome. I'm newer myself here. but i'm sure you'll fit right in.

Underrated and Overrated Video Games

Not to derail but uh...

DOOM had a new version made in 2016. It sold really well and got a lot of good scores.

So even people who're young would have exposure to the franchise.

I dunno? I guess when I think of underrated, I think of something that is good in quality but didn't get many sales or much news buzz. Every game in the DOOM series has had both.