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Stranger Beetles

Miss Argentina looked up, her eyes widening. "Oh no, honey!" She covered her mouth. "Miss Shoggoth did this to you?" That wicked woman had actually done it! She'd killed a child! Now this poor girl was going to be trapped here forever!

LYDIA

The house that sat on the hillside of a quaint, Connecticut town was odd, to say the least. It had strange angles, odd corners, and a tower attic that overlooked the lawn. The couple that lived there, however, were painfully, unapologetically, boring.

"You. Are. Perfect!" Adam Maitland ran a rag over the freshly stained surface of the crib he'd been restoring for weeks. A real antique! He'd lucked out and found the last bottle of Manchurian tung oil in the attic. This crib was going to be gorgeous! Now if they just had a baby to put in it... He couldn't help but think that this crib was too nice to put a baby in. Maybe this was just his way of pretending he was ready to be a parent. Maybe his perfectionism was standing in the way of-

"Look at these jugs!" His wife, Barbara came bustling in to show him the freshly blasted terra cotta vases she'd made. "Aren't they great!" She cradled them in her arms. She would keep them safe. Maybe put some pretty flowers in them. She loved pottery! Although, she couldn't help but wonder if this hobby wasn't some form of projecting her need to mother something, even if it was an inanimate object with no feelings, but incredibly fragile and thus in need of protection. Could she be replacing having a kid with silly clay bowls? Was she ready to have a kid? Would she ever be ready?!

"Oh Adam. We have everything," She said, flopping down on the sofa. "We have a house, a yard, a minivan. Do you think we're ready to...you know...have a baby?"

Adam froze. "Well...we have a lot left to do, I think. What about the bathroom? And the cracks in the plaster? And...the Wifi!"

"The wifi?"

"Yeah...it should be faster."

"Yeah, and maybe we should learn Spanish or something. We want our kid to be bilingual right?" Barbara smiled and stood. "And we have to get out of debt, first. And the economy is a disaster right now!"

Stranger Beetles

"I always got that 'fucking psycho' vibe from him," Beetlejuice said. "And that says a lot coming from Old Me." He stood and took the blanket off the back of the couch, carefully tucking it around Lydia. "We can't let him get away with this. But what do we do?"

LYDIA

I'll start us up with the classic cinnamon rolls

Stranger Beetles

"Yeah..." Beetlejuice had forgotten about that. He'd been concussed, so clearly it had been a figment of his imagination. Or had it? "We don't know anyone who can shapeshift do we? Aside from me, obviously."

LYDIA

Name: Lawrence Betelgeuse
Age: Mid thirties
Gender: Male

Occupation: Used car salesman

Personality: He uses humor to hide the fact that he's one bad day from stepping in front of a train. Lawrence likes to ignore his problems in hopes that they'll go away. He has everyone he works with fooled into thinking that he's a funny, confident, and maybe even crass comedy man. When, really, he's just a sad, lonely guy trying to make ends meet and wishing that his insane, shitty mom would stop showing up in his life.

History: Lawrence grew up in Connecticut with his parents. His dad was a normal, if not emotionally repressed, guy. His mom was batshit insane. Lawrence's father constantly turned a blind eye to the abuse his mother enacted on him, the bruises, the cigarette burns, being locked out of the house all night. Finally, one day, his father 'went to by a case of beer', and never came back. Being left alone with his mother made Lawrence's life a hundred times more miserable, so, around his teens, he began to act out and hang around with the wrong crowd. He wouldn't even come home most nights.

Lawrence dropped out of business school in his early twenties and managed to obtain a used car lot, which made him just enough money to live on. He became known for his gimmicky commercials and hilarious persona. But, when he came home to his shitty apartment every night, the facade fell away. He wasn't happy. He was never happy.

About a year ago, his father came back into his life. Lawrence had hope that maybe he'd have at least one parent's approval and affection, but he soon found out that his father was only coming to him because he had cancer, and needed someone to pay for his treatments. Lawrence, being a push over when it came to his parents, did so. This incurred the wrath of his mother, who eventually found out.

After that hell, his father still passed a few months ago. Lawrence was still alone, still hated by his mom, and still broke. He managed to find a house that he could put a 0% down payment on, and was rock bottom cheap. Apparently the two schmucks that lived there before kicked it in the basement or something. Whatever, he doesn't believe in ghosts, anyway.

Stranger Beetles

Beetlejuice noticed something was off moments before it happened. He dropped the pizza box and flew to Lydia.

"Lyds?!" He picked her up off the floor, "Lyds? Oh god, she's not breathing."

"Someone call an ambulance!" Iggy jumped out of her chair and ran over.

"Wait! No!" Beetlejuice flew over to the couch and set Lydia down, studying her closer. "She's not hurt...she's...just not home. Someone took her." He looked over at Ash for help. "I think someone took her soul."

LYDIA

So I need help finding a Lawrence picture. This is the best I could come up with. It's Alex Brightman, the guy who plays Beetlejuice in the broadway musical. Thoughts?

pronto-core-cdn.prontomarketing.com/3…

Stranger Beetles

roleplayerguild.com/topics/181616-lyd…

Stranger Beetles

Charles nodded. "I think I could agree with that." Beetlejuice was hovering over the couch with a box of pizza, and Barbara was eyeing him anxiously. She'd had to clean far too many stains off of that couch because of him.