Metronome

Stranger Beetles

Beetlejuice perked up, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "OooOoOOoO!" He flew around Ash in a circle. "Ashy said a naughty word!" He teased. "I don't know why you're apologizing to me about it. I think a good, colorful vocabulary is good for the soul."

LYDIA

"Uh," Lawrence croaked. Behind him, Adam jumped up.

"Banishing spells!" He cried, picking up the book. "Winter light, raven's flight-" He began to read.

Stranger Beetles

"Nah, Mary ruins everything," Beetlejuice said dismissively. He looked over at Ash and grinned at how excited they were. "Let's hack their Netflix and watch every shitty scary movie we can find. We take a shot for every garbage jump scare!" Now who was playing Satan? They would probably pass out before the first movie was over.

LYDIA

"So soon? No bachelor party? Wedding shower? Appeal?" Lawrence whimpered. He looked down, now suddenly wearing the tackiest red suit he'd ever seen. Red wasn't really his color. He yelped as an invisible force drug him next to the demon, and looked down in horror at the tiny skeleton priest. What the hell was going on?

The priest began to rattle off the typical wedding bullshit, but Lawrence wasn't really listening. Adam and Barbara were behind them, scrambling to search the Handbook for a way to banish a demon.

Stranger Beetles

"Hell yeah!" Beetlejuice flew behind them. He kicked in the door, which was totally necessarily for dramatic effect, and burst inside. The cabin was littered with food wrappers and half empty bottles of booze. A whole rainbow of booze. Mostly the cheap, college kid shit, his personal favorite.

"C'mon, c'mon, I know they're here somewhere," Beetlejuice muttered as he tore through the cabin. He finally opened the refrigerator. "Ah ha! No college kid gathering is completely without basic bitch Jello shots!" He pulled a whole tray of tiny little, Jello filled shot glasses out and set them on the counter, looking very pleased with himself.

LYDIA

Lawrence's jaw fell. "What?!" He and Adam both said in unison. Barbara let out another shrill cry. Lawrence looked up at her, biting his lip. "This is my fault," He said under his breath. He couldn't let poor Babs suffer because of him. Even if it meant getting hitched to some crazy ass demon woman.

"Fine, I'll do it," He said through gritted teeth.

"Lawrence," Adam said softly, looking at him with concern.

"I have to," Lawrence insisted. "I have to take responsibility for once in my life."

Stranger Beetles

"Whoa, hold on there, Satan," Beetlejuice held his hands up in defense, "As much as I'd love to go around giving breathers heart attacks all night, I don't think Lyds would approve. She's got me on this whole 'no unnecessary killing' diet." He chuckled. "Why don't we call it even. And we can go dig around in the shit those college kids left behind in their cabin!"

LYDIA

"You're insane!" Lawrence accused. Barbara let out a shriek of pain. He had to do something! He couldn't let that poor, innocent labradoodle suffer his mistake. "What do you want? What will it take to make you stop this?!"

LYDIA

sounds good

Stranger Beetles

Once all the college kids were headed for the hills, Beetlejuice flew back to Ash. "Hey, all's fair in the love and war, Ashy." He grinned.