Well...The series finale made this pairing even more impossible.
Okay.
I'll make my own series finale! With cocaine and hookers some twists. I'd post what ideas I have, but don't want to risk spoiling it for any other fan. If anyone is interested, post here or PM me!
Frisk winced again, yet she still didn't move. She grit her teeth and waited for what would come next, expecting so much more than him simply backing away. When he moved back, she subconsciously rubbed her wrists. The pain was very dull and light, but she knew the marks were there. She tensed, but it was mostly out of concern for Sans than herself.
She silently watched him as he retreated to the couch. After a short pause, she followed him and sat down, though left respectable space between them. She sat up and rubbed at her face with a deep sigh. "I don't know, Sans." She ran her hand through her hair, biting back tears as she brushed her bangs away. "I know you don't want to hurt me on purpose, and I trust you. But whatever happens...Whatever you do, I'll understand."
She started at the floor, contemplating what she was going to say next. "I was a kid who should have known better, Sans! It wasn't just one timeline, or a couple. I wasn't just some scared girl who didn't know what to do. I killed on purpose. Over and over." She gripped at her jeans, curling her fingers tight against the fabric. "Sometimes...Sometimes it was someone else. But sometimes it was entirely me. I was bored and curious, and I was a selfish, horrible brat."
Tears were falling down her face, yet she didn't stop talking. "I wanted to fight you. At best, I wanted the challenge. At worst, I just wanted to see what would happen if I did this, or if I did that. The only way I could ever get you to face me was if I killed P--" She opened her mouth to say Papyrus' name, but couldn't bring herself to. She bent her head and wiped at her tears, her shoulders shaking with each sob. "I'm a horrible person, Sans."
She sucked in a shaky breath and finally looked up at him. When she spoke next, she was yelling.
"God, Sans...Why don't you hate me as much as I hate myself?!"
Frisk hardly flinched at the sight of Sans' magic. Even as the wisps of powerful blue light surrounded her, heavy and dangerous, she didn't move. On the surface, she trusted Sans. Deep down, she didn't blame him and hoped he would continue.
He only had to hit her a handful of times. Only half the amount of hits he needed in the genocide runs. It'd be so easy for him.
His voice cut through her thoughts, sending a shudder down her spine. That was it. That was what scared her. That tone of voice he used, the exact tone she remembered from her many times in the Judgement Hall. She tensed and listened to him, having no other choice but to give him her full attention.
But he didn't say what she expected him to say.
"You took it too far? You took it too far? S-Sans, that's not true." She remembered those timelines well. It was where many of her nightmares came from. The memory of him slowly torturing her, waiting several long and agonizing moments between each hit. He had wanted her to feel his anger and pain, and he succeeded.
Frisk winced at the small pain in her wrists, but still didn't struggle. She was quiet, then finally spoke shakily and softly. "I deserved everything you did to me." She sucked in a breath. "And I deserve so much more punishment than that."
Never once did she think she would ever say those words. She knew it was true, yet had never dared admit it to Sans.
"I don't want to remember either, Sans. I don't want to be afraid of you. But we can't pretend it never happened...It'll just eat us alive. And you shouldn't have to go through that."
Frisk's heart fell at Sans' response. She should have expected such an answer from him. All he did was dodge and ignore difficult subjects, and this had to be one of the most difficult of all. Still, she looked at him with a defeated look, staring at him as he danced around the situation and desperately tried to avoid it.
Part of her wanted to do the same. The other part knew this couldn't go on anymore; neither of them could handle it. The nightmares and panic attacks were getting worse, and Frisk couldn't allow herself to turn away from it again. She watched him get up and move to the TV, half-expecting him to shortcut out between the table and couch. Relief briefly flooded her when he didn't, though she figured it was only because he was exhausted.
Slowly, she got to her feet and followed him. With a rush of determination, Frisk moved in front of the television, effectively blocking it. She knew he was using it to evade her. As harsh as she knew it was, Frisk wasn't going to let him get distracted. They both needed this, whether Sans agreed with her or not. She crossed her arms.
"Nothing is fine, Sans! It's never been fine!" She tried to keep her voice steady, but failed horribly as it shook. "I don't want to talk about this, either. But we have to! We can't keep ignoring this...We just keep going in circles, and I don't like it." Her voice quivered, and she dropped her arms to her sides. Her determination was quickly fizzling.
"I don't want you to hate me, again. But I can take it, if it means you'll be okay."
Frisk was quiet, sipping at her hot chocolate only to busy herself. Her fingers gripped the glass tight, her gaze cast down as she thought. She didn't notice Sans' little jump, though she glanced up at him shortly after Papyrus gave him his mug of hot cocoa.
She had to say something. The things left hanging between them were heavy and choked the air right out of the room. She could feel all the words she needed to say build in her chest, making it hard for her to breathe. She couldn't take this...She needed to get the words out. She glanced at Papyrus, silently hoping that he'd find the need to do something else.
As much as she hated leaving Papyrus out of the loop, she knew it was for the best. He didn't need or deserve such a heavy burden, especially when said burden was nothing but a ghost of past heartbreak and hostility that no longer existed. There was no point in dragging someone through something that, essentially, had never happened. So, when the taller skeleton declared he was going to take a shower, Frisk let out a mental breath of relief.
Once he was gone, Frisk set her empty mug down. She didn't say a word and hardly moved, until she stood and gathered the two empty mugs. She placed them in the sink and sat back down.
She was quiet for another moment. She bit at her bottom lip, tapped the counter, played with her hands...Anything that could distract her from talking to Sans. Eventually, the heaviness in her very being pushed her to open her mouth and draw in a deep breath.
"I think we need to talk, Sans," she softly said, still unable to look at him. "I know we've both wanted to leave it all alone, but that's not helping either of us anymore." She rubbed at her forehead, trying to ease her own stress. "I know it's hard, but--"
Frisk cut herself off, unsure where she was going. She swallowed and looked up at him with her forehead resting on her palm, elbow on the table. With her frazzled hair and rings under her eyes, she looked terrible.
"I need you to promise me something. I-I know promises aren't your thing, but...This is important."
If you understood the title before clicking, then I think I love you. If you understand it now, I still love you.
Anyway! Yes, I am looking for a Gravity Falls roleplay! Specifically, I would like to play an aged up!Dipper, to someone's Bill Cipher. BillDip. Bipper. Why? Because I'm a stupid fangirl, and will never accept any ship/friendship as being impossible.
And I adore Bill Cipher. And I've been reading waayy too much fanfiction, again.
I don't have much in mind, but I will say that I don't need romance in this. This can easily be a friendship or love-hate sort of thing. Really, I just want a scenario with Dipper and Bill being on fairly okay terms. How that happens, we'll just have to figure out! Cranking up the show's dark and dramatic elements sounds like fun, too! AUs are also on the table.
Rules. Boring Stuff
- First and foremost, I need someone with patience. I do have a job and other things in my life, so I can't always reply in a timely fashion. I try for a post a day or more, but shit happens. Let's just be patient with each other, yeah?
- Dipper will be aged up to at least eighteen, preferably to his twenties for the main part of the story. No exceptions, unless we're doing something that's strictly friendship and has to take place within the same timeframe of the show.
- I really would prefer someone eighteen or over. Roleplaying with minors makes me feel uneasy, even if the characters are from a children's show.
- Please have decent grammar, spelling, and general roleplay abilities. Please
- This is just a hobby. Don't be a dick.
Current plot idea:
"A-X-O-L-O-T-L! My time has come to burn! I invoke the ancient powers that I may return!"
Bill Cipher's new physical form was trapped in stone, and his dream form was lost in the destruction of Stan's mind. By all accounts, he was dead. Was. For a solid few minutes, all existence was free from Bill's tyranny. But something had to have brought Stan's memories back, something that hadn't been trying to fix the human at all, but allow a certain demon one more chance.
When and how that chance would come was...Unknown. If Bill wanted to stay alive, he'd have to hang tight and accept whatever fate gave him. Even if that fate was a large dose of karma being smacked right in his eyeball. Redemption is a long, cold road...And it's even worse when you're dragged along that road by one of the very people who put you there. Dipper, on the other hand, thinks it's fucking hilarious.
In other words, Dipper gets roped into Bill's redemption arc years after he convinced himself the triangle was long dead. The Axolotl didn't give him much of a choice, and now he has to play babysitter to a very angry dream demon.
I've been binge watching the show, so this won't leave my head for a while...
Frisk half-expected Sans to reject her promise. If he did, she wouldn't blame him. She wouldn't take her word, either. She anxiously waited for his response, and when he relaxed so did Frisk. That was a good sign, right?
She returned his tight hug, waiting to hear him speak. Upon hearing his thank you, she simply smiled and held him a little closer. She didn't want to move, either. Then again, she never wanted to move away whenever she hugged Sans. He had a powerful, calming effect on her. Even now, when he was so broken, she found comfort in being in his arms.
When they finally broke away, Frisk watched as Sans stood. She remained on her knees for a moment, taking in the sight of the brothers standing together. She was just about to get up on her own, when Papyrus held out his hand for her.
Frisk let him pull her up, and once she was on her feet she put a hand on Sans' shoulder. "Yeah, hot chocolate fixes everything." She softly laughed, then turned to make her way back down the stairs.
Back in the kitchen, Frisk grabbed a paper towel and wiped up the small spill on the table. She cleaned off the drips from the sides of her mug, then tossed the paper towel and sat back down.
Frisk looked him in the eye, searching his face for a moment before meeting his gaze. She hesitated. She didn't know why, but she hesitated. She had made this exact promise before, the promise that there would be no more resets. No more saves. No more reloads. No more different timelines. And she always broke it.
Always.
Could she really promise it again? It didn't mean much before, so why would now be any different? She had done well to not reload any saves, but the resets...Sometimes she got so scared. Sometimes she made such big mistakes. Sometimes she just...got bored. She couldn't trust herself.
But sitting there, looking at Sans, Frisk knew she had to try harder. If he could continue on, despite being just a pawn in whatever game this was, then so could she.
Frisk smiled warmly and nodded. "Yes," she whispered. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to Sans'. "I promise, Sans. I promise with all my heart and soul."
Frisk was in the middle of sipping at her hot chocolate, her biggest worry at that point being not burning her tongue, when Papyrus' door slammed open. She jumped and the table rattled, the mug nearly knocked out of her grasp. Hot chocolate splashed out of it as she quickly put it down.
"S-Sans?" She looked up to see his horrified expression, and for a moment she was scared. Was he locked in another nightmare? Was he confused and mixing up timelines? She wasn't who she had been before, and she desperately hoped that Sans knew that in that moment.
When Sans' horror deflated and he began to cry, Frisk's fear instantly vanished. Concern and heartbreak replaced it, and Frisk was just as quick as Papyrus in getting to the shorter skeleton's side.
For a moment, Frisk was just as helpless as Paps. She didn't want to accidentally upset Sans more than he already was, given her very image could have been what set him off in the first place. She looked up at Papyrus, considered his silent plea for help, then turned her attention back on Sans.
"Sans...Sans, it's okay," she softly said as she wrapped her arms around him. "It was just a dream. Just a really bad dream." She held him close, though was mindful of any move he made in case her presence made him uncomfortable. Taking a deep breath, Frisk glanced at Papyrus, then bent her head to whisper softly in Sans' ear
"This isn't one of those timelines, I promise. Papyrus is safe. Everyone is safe. And it's going to stay like that." She hugged him a little tighter as her guilt washed over her again. She swallowed it as much as she could, however, knowing her full attention had to be on Sans.
Frisk's heart warmed at hearing Papyrus' response to her apology. She smiled and nodded, letting her hand drop from her eye and to the table. She folded her arms and sat quietly, watching Papyrus as he worked and listening to him.
She thanked him as he set her mug in front of her. The sweet, chocolatey aroma wafted into her nostrils, carrying the heat and moisture from the steam. She picked up the mug with both hands, careful to not burn herself, and sipped slowly. She smiled as she lowered the drink from her face.
What was it about hot chocolate that always made sleepless nights better? Considering that, Frisk quickly came to the conclusion that it wasn't just the sweet beverage. It was that it was made by a dear friend, out of an attempt to make her feel better. And it had certainly worked.
Frisk swiped a drip of whipped cream from the side of her mug, and as she licked it off her finger she looked up at Papyrus. While he spoke, she held on to her hot chocolate with both hands, keeping her attention solely on him. Gradually, her gaze drifted down to her mug. She hunched over it.
It was hard to imagine what Sans was like before Frisk fell into the Underground, before the resets. Had he been just as troubled? Frisk doubted it. If only she hadn't been so selfish in past timelines, so uncaring of the world she had fallen into. Sans would have never seen his own brother die - multiple times at that - as well as the rest of his family if she had never shown up. He would have never had to relive day after day, unsure when the next reset would happen.
Sans was the true victim in this. He hadn't done anything wrong, yet he was put through nightmare after nightmare. Frisk had sins to atone for; Sans did not, and it wasn't fair.
Sometimes she wished she could just...Pop out of existence. No more resets. No more unstable determination.
Frisk looked up at Papyrus and smiled softly, only for his sake. "That's not selfish at all, Papyrus. I understand. He doesn't talk to me about it, either, but maybe I can...Try harder to reach out to him." Sans and hers unspoken agreement came to mind. They wouldn't speak of past timelines to each other, but that was clearly not working as well as they hoped.
No more bottling it up. No more avoiding it. Sans needed her as much as she needed him, in ways that no one else could help them. As much as she didn't want to face it, Frisk was prepared to see and hear Sans' anger towards her, like in past timelines. At least it'd be out in the open, rather than poisoning them both from the inside.
"I'll do my best, Paps." She smiled again, but it held a sadness behind it.
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