Hugs are not something Bella has ever been good at. As a child she didn't trust them and wasted most of her time squirming and feeling trapped. By the time she'd realized Redana meant an embrace solely as affection they'd already grown up enough that the closeness had become and entirely different type of dangerous and awkward. Mynx's embraces on the other hand often were traps, which made walking into her arms a horrible game of russian roulette. And of course, no one else had ever wanted to touch her.
All of it meant she had no developed sense of how to receive affection, or sympathy. Dyssia's embrace is a nightmare of limbs and coil, at once crushing and yet constantly shifting and threatening to pull away at every slight twitch. Sympathy at war with fear. Well if that didn't sum up every problem with the person she'd grown into, nothing ever would. She can't accept the kindness, but she can at least tuck her claws against her palm of the hand she uses to awkwardly pat Dyssia's arm.
There you... there. See? She gets it.
"I'm fine, ok? I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. It's you who's got the rough end of this. You fell from the sky like a bolt of lightning and shocked me from the dream I was trapped inside of. What did I do as thanks? Stuff you in this crab-infested rust bucket and drag you into all of my bullshit, is what. Didn't ask you what you wanted. Didn't tell you what I was up to. I've wasted so much time getting mad at you over all these stupid little things but I won't even--"
Bella sighs. The lights in the room have turned an ugly warning red. No cries of warning have come pouring from the communication tubes yet, but it's obvious that something is coming. She ignores it.
"Dyssia. This ship has a mission, and as long as we're on it we're going to be Demeter's enemy. I didn't tell you that whole story so you'd think I was some tragic hero, I just needed you to believe me. Lord Hades wants a message delivered to someone on Gaia. I don't really know where that is or how long it'll take to get there, and this is just a guess on my part but I'm pretty sure giving this sword back to its owner is part of that. The point is, it'll suck. It's going to be dangerous and painful and you need to understand 'cause if you or anyone you care about is going to stick you shouldn't be doing it in ignorance. The best time to get off was yesterday, the second best time is now.
"And if you want out, I won't stop you. I'll even give you that gun if I can find it again, and you can trade it whatever to group that wants me dead to help out whichever planet you trust them to save. Nevermind what I said before, that'll be my punishment for not being honest with you. But if not, if you stay... staying means knowing. And knowing means you help me. And helping me means all kinds of terrible shit is going to happen. You are not going to be able to help every sad story we meet, because I have to keep moving and all of my enemies are so much stronger than me that I have no chance of making it. It's only sheer, stupid luck that's gotten me and mine this far and even then we've lost more than I can count."
She taps her claws against her desk one last time. Right next to the sword still gleaming in the dim red light. The first shrill calls of warning have begun to echo through the Plosious.
"We won't make it, Dyssia. We're all going to die. Whether we substantiate into a school of fish or whatever doesn't make it any less the end. So don't take this as me promising you anything. Nobody who's tried this has succeeded for two hundred and fifty years, and they've been making the attempt every year without fail. We're not more special than they are. If anything, we suck a whole lot more. It's a doomed voyage, Dyssia. Completely fucked. But. If we make it to the end before the journey gets us, there's a wish waiting there. Anything you want. Anything you could ask from the God of the Dead. You should... think about that."
Bella blinks in the flashing lights, and frowns at the warning cries filling her peaceful little room, as if her overtuned senses were only just now picking up on them.
"...What the fuck?" she says in a brilliant display of intelligence and leadership, "This can't be an engagement already. We were supposed to have another day at least before-- shit. Vesper! Oh gods, Vesper!"
Bella leaps to her feet. Her eyes open wide with sudden fear, and her hands fly up to cover her mouth in a surprisingly girlish display for such a foul mouthed death cat. Her tail whips behind hard enough to cut the air, audible even over the alarms.
"You don't understand, she's, fuck! She's an information addict, I was supposed to seal her room off ahead of -- no, no, no, no, no, she's so sick already! If she tries to process any of this she'll! Sister!!"
There's no more time for heart to hearts, or to wait for answers or any other cute little gesture that might have made this meeting worthwhile. Bella is already vaulting over her desk and is flying out the door as swift and agile as if she had suddenly grown wings. All else is forgotten. In this moment there is only enough space in her brain for family.
All of it meant she had no developed sense of how to receive affection, or sympathy. Dyssia's embrace is a nightmare of limbs and coil, at once crushing and yet constantly shifting and threatening to pull away at every slight twitch. Sympathy at war with fear. Well if that didn't sum up every problem with the person she'd grown into, nothing ever would. She can't accept the kindness, but she can at least tuck her claws against her palm of the hand she uses to awkwardly pat Dyssia's arm.
There you... there. See? She gets it.
"I'm fine, ok? I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. It's you who's got the rough end of this. You fell from the sky like a bolt of lightning and shocked me from the dream I was trapped inside of. What did I do as thanks? Stuff you in this crab-infested rust bucket and drag you into all of my bullshit, is what. Didn't ask you what you wanted. Didn't tell you what I was up to. I've wasted so much time getting mad at you over all these stupid little things but I won't even--"
Bella sighs. The lights in the room have turned an ugly warning red. No cries of warning have come pouring from the communication tubes yet, but it's obvious that something is coming. She ignores it.
"Dyssia. This ship has a mission, and as long as we're on it we're going to be Demeter's enemy. I didn't tell you that whole story so you'd think I was some tragic hero, I just needed you to believe me. Lord Hades wants a message delivered to someone on Gaia. I don't really know where that is or how long it'll take to get there, and this is just a guess on my part but I'm pretty sure giving this sword back to its owner is part of that. The point is, it'll suck. It's going to be dangerous and painful and you need to understand 'cause if you or anyone you care about is going to stick you shouldn't be doing it in ignorance. The best time to get off was yesterday, the second best time is now.
"And if you want out, I won't stop you. I'll even give you that gun if I can find it again, and you can trade it whatever to group that wants me dead to help out whichever planet you trust them to save. Nevermind what I said before, that'll be my punishment for not being honest with you. But if not, if you stay... staying means knowing. And knowing means you help me. And helping me means all kinds of terrible shit is going to happen. You are not going to be able to help every sad story we meet, because I have to keep moving and all of my enemies are so much stronger than me that I have no chance of making it. It's only sheer, stupid luck that's gotten me and mine this far and even then we've lost more than I can count."
She taps her claws against her desk one last time. Right next to the sword still gleaming in the dim red light. The first shrill calls of warning have begun to echo through the Plosious.
"We won't make it, Dyssia. We're all going to die. Whether we substantiate into a school of fish or whatever doesn't make it any less the end. So don't take this as me promising you anything. Nobody who's tried this has succeeded for two hundred and fifty years, and they've been making the attempt every year without fail. We're not more special than they are. If anything, we suck a whole lot more. It's a doomed voyage, Dyssia. Completely fucked. But. If we make it to the end before the journey gets us, there's a wish waiting there. Anything you want. Anything you could ask from the God of the Dead. You should... think about that."
Bella blinks in the flashing lights, and frowns at the warning cries filling her peaceful little room, as if her overtuned senses were only just now picking up on them.
"...What the fuck?" she says in a brilliant display of intelligence and leadership, "This can't be an engagement already. We were supposed to have another day at least before-- shit. Vesper! Oh gods, Vesper!"
Bella leaps to her feet. Her eyes open wide with sudden fear, and her hands fly up to cover her mouth in a surprisingly girlish display for such a foul mouthed death cat. Her tail whips behind hard enough to cut the air, audible even over the alarms.
"You don't understand, she's, fuck! She's an information addict, I was supposed to seal her room off ahead of -- no, no, no, no, no, she's so sick already! If she tries to process any of this she'll! Sister!!"
There's no more time for heart to hearts, or to wait for answers or any other cute little gesture that might have made this meeting worthwhile. Bella is already vaulting over her desk and is flying out the door as swift and agile as if she had suddenly grown wings. All else is forgotten. In this moment there is only enough space in her brain for family.