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Roger that, GM Person!
Holy freaking crap!

I FORGOT TO PAY THE WAIFU TAX!!!

Will this do?

Holy wow!

Could this be the coolest RP ever?!

Probably not, but I made a character sheet thing anyway!



BTW, great idea to make it a story, GM Person! It was super fun to write!

I really hope she gets accepted!


What are instruments of destruction, if not tools for power plays?
-Doctor Nykannis


As Nykannis’s myriad hyper advanced, ultramagitech data accumulators probed into the very deepest fibers of the Queen of Heart’s metaphysical makeup, a commandeered tank was racing across the battlefield…

“HAHAHAHA!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!” Primus-04 exulted in psychotic glee. “We’re slaughtering these fuckers and that royal bitch hasn’t even—HOLY FUCK, did she just decapitate that guy?!” the pyromanic exclaimed in shock as she watched Finn’s beheading through the tank’s forward viewport.

Oh. That wretch just decapitated her little project.

Jennifer was unphased by it. She knew Finn would be okay as long as he could get to a reinforcment user that can reattach his head and sword. No, he'll be okay. That wasn't what caught her attention. The way the Queen of Hearts talked, the way she seemed to predict and see through the others' attempts to attack her. And her eye...

Was the Queen like her?

Only one way to find out. Gritting her teeth, the false witch aimed the tank's gun at the Queen and prepared to fire soon as Mayra got Finn out of harm's way.

“FIRE THE CANNON AT THAT BITCH!!!” Primus-04 shouted, now sounding far more panicked than elated. “FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!!!”

As soon as Mayra rocketed away, the (false) Witch of Time did just that. Unfortunately, no sooner had the enchanted shell left the main cannon’s barrel, then the Queen of Hearts turned to fix it with her baleful gaze. In one smooth motion, she leapt into a somersault, using her reality-defying blade to slice both the shell and the tank that fired it completely in twain. Tumbling out of the wrecked vehicle, Primus-04 was left utterly speechless as the Wonderland Monarch turned away, apparently finding them beneath her interest.

Jennifer had to launch herself out of her seat before the Queen had sliced their vehicle in half. She landed next to 04. "You alright, dear?" She asked, going back to her real voice for the moment.

“Uh, y-yeah…” 04 replied after a moment. “But, uh, I think we should probably get the fuck outta here,” she added in a low whisper. “‘Cause Doc’s plannin’ somethin’ big…



“Can’t say that was unexpected…” Nykannis muttered as she watched the captured tank get bisected.

What was unexpected, however, was the Queen deciding to address her directly…

“To show everyone how amazing I am, obviously, Nykannis replied with a smirk.

However, it was then that her intrusive investigations into the Queen of Heart’s true nature finally reached their climactic culmination, and the numinous knowledge gleaned was startling enough to give even the Monarch of Mad Science herself pause…

For all of 0.0000000000042 seconds.

So, that’s how you wanna play things, is it, Magistrate? Fine, then let’s have some FUN…

“Wow you’ve sure got some fancy toys,” she told the Wonderland Monarch in a snide tone of utter disinterest, even as thousands of additional enemy reinforcements spilled from a plethora of newly-opened portals and the panicked voice of Tertiarius-01 informed her of how they were about to be overrun. “As it happens, so do I.”

While she was still speaking, Nykannis had also been giving instructions to Phase Two over their secure mental communications link.

Primus, Secundus, fall back to the deployment zone. Tertiarius, Quaternarius, cover their retreat. And Pentius? Commence attack.

The next instant, the Queen of Hearts would feel her connection to her magic be completely severed, her mana being drained away with all the ravenous force of a quantum singularity, and all her various weapons, powers, and perks being rendered utterly useless. Indeed, in mere moments, she would find herself being forcibly reverted to her mundane form (whatever that might be), as Pentius-03’s gifted focused amplified nullification field fully enveloped her. A nanosecond after that, the real attack began…

By this point, Pentius-01 had configured her OMAG-17 into a superheavy turbo-tachyonic hyper-hellbore polyphasic penetrator lance, while Pentius-02, 05, and 06 powered up their neutrino-plasmatic multi-spectrum molecular disintegrator lightning cannon, ultra-aetheric ecto-quantum mega-macro transwarp wave projector, and omni-phasic hyper-toxic biomechanical matter/energy hybrid self-replicating insectoid swarm discharger beam blaster, respectively, to max level in a swirling blur of orbiting energy prong conjurations, power core enlargements, barrel extensions, and a deluge of other nanotechnoenchantic weapon upgrades. Finally, using the data gained by Nykannis’s comprehensive analysis of the Queen of Heart’s complete metaphysical makeup, Pentius-07 had overcharged all the various aspects of her omni-sonic hyper-harmonic electro-magnetic polyphasic frequency flux pulse array to utterly shatter the Wonderland Monarch’s bones, organs, and very soul, all while bombarding her with the enhanced, weaponized sound of Magical Dream Princess’s voice. And now, having locked onto their target for 100% accuracy, and with their ultra-overcharged esoteric armaments threatening to burst with pent-up power, Team Pentius unleashed them upon their helpless foe. In an instant, the fabric of reality was rent asunder as the ruinous beams of starkly inconceivable destructive energies converged on the ruler of Wonderland in all their world-shattering majesty…

Well, Magistrate?! Whadya think?! I know a single Killing Blow can easily be dodged (unless the person firing it is named Sakura, of course), but how about FIVE KILLING BLOWS FIRED SIMULTANEOUSLY?!!! (No quotation marks are employed here to denote that none of this is being said out loud.) “NYAHAHAHAHA!!!” (This, however, is.)

Wow.

”Not bad.”






Play time~! Play time~! Magical Dream Princess wuvs play time~! (giggle!)
-MDP


MDP giggled with innocent glee as she caught pillow after pillow, with the occasional sugary treat for variety. “Mmmm~! Magical Dream Princess just wuvs this yummy wummy candy wandy~! (giggle!)” She was having so much fun, but sadly, that was about to come to an abrupt end…

While up until now the pillows she caught had simply thanked her and then been content to be piled up on the ground, her latest catch had a bit more to convey than just gratitude. “What’s thatsie whatsie, Mister Wister Pillow Willow~?!” MDP asked happily as she brought the fluffy pillow up to her ear, while smiling in eager excitement. “You wanna tell Magical Dream Princess something womething super duper important wortant~?!” after listening intently for a few seconds, the whimsical girl’s brilliant smile began to spread even wider. “Ooooohh~!” she squealed in delight. “More people weple are coming to play~?! YAY~!!!” she cheered, tossing her newest pillow pal up in the air while jumping up and down. However, her childish display of joy was brought to a crashing halt an instant later, when an explosion erupted nearby, causing the whimsical girl to wince as she was showered with debris. Looking behind her, she saw to her horror that additional Wonderland troops and vehicles had managed to circumvent her whimsical wall, and were now attacking from every side.

“HEY!!! That’s no fairsie wairsie!” MDP pouted, placing her hands on her hips and stomping a foot on the ground as she glared at the newly arrived Wonderland reinforcements. Then she remembered her now-falling pillow pal and held out her arms to catch it. However, all that landed in her hands were smoldering bits of cloth… “M-Mister Wister Pillow Willow…?” she asked in a quavering voice, her eyes beginning to rapidly fill with tears. “Mister Wister Pillow Willow?!” she cried as her whole body began to shake. “YOU KILLED HIM!!!” she screeched, before sending a shower of rainbow-tailed shooting stars to rain down upon the new arrivals with an enraged sweep of her whimsical wand. “YOU MEANIE WEANIE HEADS KILLED MAGICAL DREAM PRINCESS’S FRIENDY WENDY!!! SHE HATES YOU!!! SHE HATES YOU, HATES YOU, HATES YOU!!!” As her tantrum continued, the petulant Princess of Dreams sent still more mystical missiles to pummel the targets of her ire, with each soldier or vehicle struck by the hail of hearts, stars, and frowny faces being instantly transmuted into goopy play-dough or silly putty. “MAGICAL DREAM PRINCESS IS GONNA MAKEY WAKEY YOU ALL GO BYE BYE, RIGHT NOWIE!!!






“Eeek!” Connie yelped in alarm as enemy fire began wizzing by her. Then she heard MDP’s anguished cry. “M-Magical D-Dream Princess…?” she asked, her voice a confused and frightened whimper as she pressed her trembling hands against her pounding heart.

“Come on, little sister,” Gaia instructed, while placing an arm around her panicking friend’s shoulder. “I believe her highness can take care of this on her own,” she added. We need to head back to the teleporter.”

And just when I was thinking this was all over with…







Back at the teleporter, the Angel of Hope found herself being swiftly forgotten in the midst of the surrounding chaos…

Fuck… It’s like I’m not even a fucking afterthought… Damn it! I’m so fucking sick of Beacon and these other losers hogging the spotlight! And then there’s this asshole… I mean, hello! I just reinforced your stupid fucking barrier! The least you could do is say—

LILY!

Snapping her head in Alexander’s direction, she saw the magical boy dash off to where his girlfriend’s bruised body had fallen to the ground, minus half of one leg…

“Oh, good heavens!” the Angel cried, placing her hands over her mouth in horror. “The poor thing! Please, most valiant champion!” she begged Alexander, while pointing the glowing tip of her staff at his swiftly departing form. “Accept this humble servant’s blessing of swiftness and hasten to your soulmate’s side!”

Serves the stupid bitch right for trying to take all those fuckers on solo… And who does this bitch think she is with her lame-ass battle cry, fucking Joan of Arc?

Turning to face the Paladin-Seraph, she said, “Well said, most noble bringer-of-light! Truly, this humble servant stands in the presence of a leader-born!”

Born to run our chances of actually surviving this shitstorm into the fucking ground…


Nyahahaha! Check out my epic new Grimoiric Heart-style banner! You losers wish you had banners as awesome as this! Nyahahaha!

-Doctor Nykannis


“Don’t mention it,” Nykannis called after Alexander as the magical boy ran off. “I always enjoy helping confused and frightened lower lifeforms make sense out of their surroundings,” the mad scientist added with an amused smirk. However, that smirk vanished a second later, when Tertiarius-01 reported in.

“Doctor Kannis, we’ve eliminated our assigned targets, but additional Wonderland infantry squads and AFVs have just appeared behind our lines and are moving to engage the defenders at the evac shelter,” the aerial combat team leader explained. “They must have been cloaking their presence somehow, or were possibly deployed via that subspace warren you said they have access to.”

“It’s certainly plausible,” Nykannis agreed with an annoyed scowl. Or is it more than that? the mad scientist pondered, even as she swept a massive, clawed appendage through the air to create an arc of holographic displays, which presented detailed depictions of each part of the battlefield. This is your doing, isn’t it, Magistrate?

“One of the defending magical girls has also activated a monstermorphosis, and is currently engaging them,” Tertiarius-01 continued.

That would be Lily,” Nykannis noted dryly as she watched the monsterized young woman attack the Wonderlanders with reckless abandon and admittedly impressive power.

“Should we provide assistance?”

“Negative. Fall back to defend our deployment zone,” Nykannis instructed. “The Penrose Pack can protect their pathetic excuse for a teleporter on their own,” she continued. We have more pressing concerns to deal with…”

As the Monarch of Mad Science’s many eyes viewed the events playing out on the various holodisplays arrayed before her, she saw that although Team Quaternarius’s apocalyptic bombardment had annihilated the vast majority of the Wonderland artillery, as per her instructions, they had kept well clear of the field pieces closest to where Penny and the Queen of Hearts were facing off. Thus, a handful of the heavy cannons remained active, and, even now, they were switching from bombarding the town, to attacking Phase Two directly…

As the ensorcelled shells rained down upon the flaming fields, they passed effortlessly through the various defensive shields Teams Primus and Secundus had erected to explode amongst them in a series of deafening detonations, blowing apart Secundus-03 and 04 in the process…

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Primus-05 sighed in annoyance, before sending her restorative nanites to reconstruct her fallen comrades.

But that wasn’t all…

While Penny’s standoff with the Queen had ended as anticlimactically as Nykannis had expected, with the Mechanical Monarch having chosen to flee with her hostage, Finn had chosen this moment to assassinate the ruler of Wonderland via ambush. Unsurprisingly, his daring attempt failed miserably, but that wasn’t what drew Nykannis’s full attention to the scene. No, it was how the Queen had countered his strike. Using her empowered blade, the Wonderland monarch had sliced clean through the magical boy’s own weapon, and then severed his head from his shoulders.

“No way…” Nykannis whispered, her eyes going wide. According to the rules of this reality plenum, magical weapons are indestructible, yet she completely broke that sword in fucking half… Could she have nullification abilities on the level of Pentius-03, or was it simply due to the raw power of the attack…?

Her eyes glowing with even greater intensity, the Mad Scientist Supreme subjected the Queen of Hearts to a deluge of spy rays, finder beams, and a myriad of other hyper-advanced, ultramagitech sensors and scanners, in a frantic effort to ascertain the information she sought.

Well, at least Time Boy’s edgier analogue is getting that royal meet and greet he was hoping for…

Even as her various data accumulators set to work, Nykannis opened a communications link to all the members of Phase Two.

“Primus, Secundus, continue your advance.” Nykannis ordered. “Quaternarius, finish off the remaining artillery.”

“Affirmative, Doctor Kannis,” the three team leaders acknowledged.

“And Pentius?” the mad scientist added, her many glowing eyes narrowing. “Take aim on the Queen…”

Roger that, Pentius-01 confirmed with an eager grin as she readied her enormous ultramagitech weapon.

“One way or another, it’s time to put an end to this shit…”

...

Meanwhile, on another part of the battlefield, an unlikely meeting was taking place…

“Gah!” Primus-04 yelped when the (false) Witch of Time materialized next to her. “Oh, it’s you,” she added a moment later. “Doc says you’re cool so, uh, ya wanna help me operate this thing? I’ll drive, while you shoot, sound good?”

"I get to man the gun? HELL YEAH!" Jennifer's grin grew with excitement, and she swiftly took her seat behind the tank's gun. There was a wild gleam in her eye. "WELCOME TO AMERICA, MOTHERFUCKERS! HAHAHAHAHA!!"

“Okay, you I like. All right!” the pyromanic exulted as she sent the war machine surging into motion. “IT’S TANKERY TIME, BITCHES!!!”

A moment later, the captured AFV was speeding across the flaming fields, crushing dozens of hapless Club soldiers under its treads with a series of satisfying crunches as it barreled towards where the Queen of Hearts was standing…

Jen all the while was gunning down every enemy soldier that tried to approach and reclaim their lost AFV. The bloodlust was soon made apparent in her wicked grin. The blood they shed, the carnage they created... it was euphoric! She could barely contain her cackling!












Wowie zowie~! There sure are lots of banner wanners heresie weresie, huh~?!

-MDP


“Like, we totally wotally do~! (giggle!)” MDP agreed with a cheerful smile when Ronin said they should spend some time talking once things had calmed down. “Like, Magical Dream Princess wants to hear aaaaall about how you got your adorable worable new outfit woutfits~! (giggle!) Oh~! Like, hello wello againsie wensie, Mister Wister Aurelio Welio~! (giggle!)” she added happily when one of the magician’s clones came over, before her eyes widened in childish wonderment when she noticed just how many copies of the magician were running around. “Wowie zowie~! Like, there are lots and lots of Aurelio Welios heresie weresie~! Like, can you duplicatey watey yourselfy welfy, just like Olivier Woliver~?! Can you~?! Can you~?! Can you~?!”

Even if the magician were to respond, he would find that MDP’s ever-wandering attention had been drawn away from him and over to where Ronin and Miko were using their dual specializations to help move the slumbering villagers to the teleporter.

“Wowie zowie~! You two work super duper well together wether~! (giggle!)” she told the sisters in her typical bubbly manner. Then she noticed some more familiar faces… “Angel Wangel~! Gaia Waia~! (giggle!)” she cheered, rushing over to the pair and wrapping them both up in a big hug.

“Well, this is certainly a pleasant surprise!” a slightly stunned Gaia replied after being subjected to her whimsical friend’s unexpected glomp. “It pleases me greatly to see you, Your Highness,” she added with a warm smile as she returned MDP’s embrace.

“Oh, my!” the Angel gasped as she suddenly found herself being hugged. “Well met, whimsical champion!” she added with a giggle. “It brings such abundant joy to this humble servant’s heart to know that you are here to aid in this most noble endeavor!”

Great, when the fuck did this bitch get here?!

“Like, you’re both totally wotally welcome~! (giggle!)” MDP chirped. “And golly wolly~!” she added, looking over the pair’s shoulders. “Magical Dream Princess just wuvs all the pretty witty flower wowers Gaia Waia made~! (giggle!)”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Gaia replied demurely. “Although I cannot take all the credit,” she added, gesturing to a nearby magical girl. “Annabelle, here, is quite the talented wielder of nature magic as well.”

However, before MDP could dart off to annoy the hell out of befriend the local Mahou, a familiar voice called out.

“Mia!” Connie cried in relief as she rushed over to hug her best friend. “I-I’m s-so glad you’e s-safe!”

“As am I, little sister,” the verdant maiden replied, returning her emotional friend’s embrace. “Thankfully, it would appear our mission here is drawing to a close,” she added as she took note of the ongoing evacuation of the sleeping townsfolk. “And not a moment too soon…”

Indeed, even as she spoke, Gaia saw an enchanted tank shell shatter the protective barrier surrounding the evac zone. More tanks were preparing to finish what the first had started, while a hoard of infantry was advancing ever-closer…

Thankfully, Alexander was quick to raise a new barrier, one which the Angel of Hope promptly reinforced with her own magic. “Excellent work, valiant champion!” the heavenly beauty told the magical boy with a radiant smile. “Please allow this humble servant to bless your construction with an endurance as strong as your selfless spirit!”

Damn… It fucking sucks that all I can do is reinforce these idiots’ pitiful attempts at making shields… Still… kind Master Chiichuu shall surely reward his humble servant with such blissful contentment in return for granting them her assistance!

Not to be left out, MDP bounced into action as well. “Aww~! Those soldier woldier people weple wanna play~! (giggle!)” the bubbly girl exclaimed with cheerful innocence. “And, like, Magical Dream Princess knows the perfect werfect gamey wamey~! (giggle!)”

Waving her whimsical wand, the Princess of Dreams created a prismatic arc of hearts and stars, which quickly expanded into a curtain covering the width of the street.

“Come on, Connie Wonnie~!” MDP instructed as she gabbed the confused masked girl’s hand and enthusiastically dragged her along. “You, too, Gaia Waia~! This gamey wamey is, like, one of Magical Dream Princess’s super duper favorite wavorites, ‘cause it’s, like, soooo super duper fun~! (giggle!)”

“G-Game…?” a confused Connie stammered as she was dragged along.

“Uh huh~!” MDP confirmed with a happy smile as they came to a stop in front of the colorful curtain. “Like, when the soldier woldier people weple fire thingy wingies through this pretty witty curtain wurtain, we try to catchy watchy them~! (giggle!)” the hyperactive girl explained.

C-C-Catch them?! Connie cried in uncomprehending horror.

“Just watch Magical Dream Princess~!” MDP reassured her. “You’ll get the hangy wangy of it in no timey wimey at allsie~! (giggle!)”

A moment later, Connie saw exactly what her whimsical friend meant. As soon as a tank shell or spray of bullets passed through the bubbly girl’s barrier, they were instantly transmuted into big, fluffy pillows, or tiny, colorful candies.

“M-My heavens!” the Angel gasped in stunned amazement. “That precious little darling is changing all the awful projectiles from those horrid weapons into items utterly devoid of harm! N-Not only that,” she added as she caught one of the oversized pillows that had managed to slip past the Princess of Dreams and her two friends. “Just touching these objects fills me with such peace and joy! Oh, what a sweet and kind soul!” the angelic beauty gushed, elegant hands clasped over her chest. “This humble servant thanks you from the bottom of her heart, whimsical champion! Truly, your presence here is the greatest of blessings! Indeed, you are an inspiration to us all!”

Seriously, what the fuck even is this girl…?


Nyahahahaha! My wall of text is even bigger than yours, Chloe! EAT IT, BITCH!!! NYAHAHAHAHA!!!

-Doctor Nykannis


Nykannis’s maniacal grin swiftly dissolved into an annoyed scowl as she continued to watch the thoroughly lackluster “showdown” between Penny and the Queen of Hearts. Seriously Penny?” the mad scientist deadpanned. “You honestly think taking a hostage is going to be an effective tactic against someone who regularly decapitates her followers for shits and giggles? I thought you were smarter than that…”

And that wasn’t the only disappointing development.

Although Phase Two had been phenomenally successful with their initial alpha strike, the Wonderlanders were now launching a counterattack. Her enhanced vision easily penetrating the dense plumes of smoke, Nykannis could see a new wave of reinforcements cresting the far hill, in particular, a squadron of tanks supported by several squads of infantry. Although both Team Primus and Team Secundus had advanced midway through the burning fields, they were both proceeding at a cautious pace and wouldn’t be taken unawares by this new development. However, one member of Primus was apparently a little too eager to continue the carnage and had recklessly run ahead of her teammates. This lack of caution would have fatal consequences…

Even as one of the tanks was utterly annihilated by the iridescent beam of a poly-phasic neo-neutrino particle projector cannon, Primus-04 found herself in the crosshairs of another tank’s main gun. Before she even realized the danger, Team Primus’s resident pyromaniac found herself flying through the air, the force of the enchanted shell having blown off her legs. No sooner had her battered body slammed into the ground, then a hail of enchanted bullets from dozens of magitech assault rifles and tank-mounted machine guns drilled into her prone form, before a second explosive cannon shell completely blew her apart.

"Oho! that's gonna leave a mark!" The witch on Nykannis's shoulder commented with eagerness.

Yet, the dismembered girl wouldn’t stay that way for long. Slowly, but inexorably, a swirling cloud of nanites began collecting the girl’s various blood-stained pieces and parts, before setting to work reassembling her. By the time the cloud dissipated, Primus-04 was as good as new, albeit still rather shaken up by her recent experience.

“Be more careful next time, idiot,” Primus-05 admonished as she helped her teammate up. “Doctor Kannis is watching,” she added. “We can’t afford to be sloppy.”

“Whatever!” the pyromanic snapped. “That fucking tank is MINE!!!”

In a flash, she had darted off to leap atop the nearest tank and, like a flaming meteor, smash open its turret hatch, whereupon she promptly began bathing the war machine’s interior with technomantic flame.

Meanwhile, two other tanks, having destroyed one of the towering sunflowers, were now advancing into the town itself in an attempt to outflank the defenders, but they wouldn’t have long to savor this accomplishment. Indeed, they would soon find themselves under attack by the members of Team Tertiarius, who, from their position above the battle field, rained a torrent of bylithyian beta beams, megamorphic macro missiles, and hypersonic polyphasic quantum crystal spikes upon the pair of unfortunate war machines.

“Excellent… Most excellent…” Nykannis noted with approval as her creations handled the Wonderlanders’ counterattack with ease, barring a sole exception. And even she was working on redeeming herself, having captured an enemy tank. Yes, everything seemed to be going quite well. And what was this? One of the other defenders was approaching her with questions. Clearly he knew an authority figure when he saw one.

“Well now, aren’t you precious,” Nykannis said with an amused smirk as she loomed over the magical boy. Her smaller friend waved cheerfully at him. “Are all the bright lights and loud noises starting to overwhelm your primitive little brain? Well, lucky for you, I’m more than happy to explain things, and I’ll even try to use small words so you’ll actually be able to understand what I’m saying. So, basically, Queenie over there (not the Brave Little Toaster, the other one) found out your shithole of a city is the site of a Metaphysical Aetheric Generating Infinitely Coalescing Nexus, which she’d like to use for her own purposes, whatever the hell they are. Unfortunately for her, you and your little pals already live there, so to test your defenses, such as they are, she sent a bunch of wendigos to fuck shit up. Unsurprisingly for a group that includes the Tin Titan herself, you kicked their furry asses, leading Queenie to decide, in a rare moment of lucidity, that maaaybe deploying her invasion force in the center of the fucking city wasn’t such a great idea. Instead, she decided that attacking some random town in the middle of farm animal fucking nowhere and using it as a staging area was a much better plan. And it would have been, if only said town’s sole fucking magical girl wasn’t also a popular streamer, which, let’s be honest, with everyone and their fucking dog streaming shit nowadays is something Queenie really should have considered in whatever passes for her ‘planning sessions’. Anyways, I’m sure even you can figure things out from there, though you really shouldn’t worry about any of this shit, since Phase Two here is handing those moronic Wonderlanders their collective asses as we speak. Oh! But you’re probably wondering what Phase Two even is, right?!” the Monarch of Mad Science added with a gleam in her many glowing eyes. “Well, they’re nothing less than the next generation of magical girl, easily capable of rendering you and your pathetic little pals completely obsolete, and all of them were created by ME, DOCTOR NYKANNIS, QUEEN OF THE MAD SCIENTISTS!!! NYAHAHAHAHA!!!”

"I'm just here to party." Jen casually added, glancing over at Primus-04's direction. "Speakin' off, ally-oop!" She launched herself off of Nykannis' shoulder, and with a quick teleport, landed on the tank 04 had captured. "Sooooo, calling shotgun?" She grinned.










“My heavens!” the Angel of Hope exclaimed as she and Gaia drew closer to the new arrivals and their apparent leader. “Such horrific implements of violence! Truly, it pains this humble servant’s heart simply to gaze upon them!” she added, placing her hands atop her chest.

Holy shit! They all look so fucking badass! And that huge-ass bitch cabbage tits is talking to looks like she’s packing enough firepower to solo ten behemoths! Damn it! I’d fucking kill to have weapons like those! Instead, I get this lame as fuck staff that can only heal people…

A moment later, Annabelle sounded a retreat after witnessing the tanks destroy one of her gigantic sunflowers, a sight that brought Gaia a twinge of pain.

May you rest in the peace of Mother’s embrace, noble guardian, she bade the flower silently.

“Good idea,” Nykannis agreed with a smirk. “You should leave the rest of these losers to the professionals!

“Indeed!” the Angel concurred. “There may yet be those in need of healing at the evacuation shelter and we must not delay in aiding them! Farewell, mighty champions!” she called to the new arrivals. “Know that this humble servant prays for your success and safety!”

Smug fucking bitch…

As they headed back to the center of town, Gaia noted that Annabelle was setting up a number of smaller sunflowers to serve in both a point defense and anti-infantry role.

“Excellent thinking!” the verdant maiden commended. “Please allow me to bolster their capabilities,” she added, raising Nature’s Blossom high and infusing the flowers with additional strength and vitality.

“This humble servant shall provide a blessing upon them as well!” the Angel declared, conjuring a radiant aura around each plant.

Well, I guess these two aren’t complete amateurs…

Back in the shelter, Connie had just been freed from MDP’s crushing embrace when she noticed that someone new had joined them. “Eep!” she yelped, their sudden arrival having startled the incredibly nervous girl. “O-Oh, u-um, h-hello…” she greeted the magical boy in a voice barely above a whisper. “S-Sorry a-about t-that… I-I’m C-Connie,” she introduced herself, her mask forming a tentative smile. “I-It’s n-nice to m-meet you, A-Aurelio.”




“Like, thankie wankies for the helpy welpy, mister wister Aurelio Welio~! (giggle!)” MDP cheered as she bounced over to Aurelio and gave him a big hug. “Golly wolly~!” she exclaimed after getting a better look at the magical boy. “You’re, like, totally wotally a magician wician person werson~! Like, can you do magic wagic tricky wikies~?! And, and, can you, like, makey wakey those funny wunny baloonie woonie animals, too~?!” she asked, jumping up and down in childish wonderment. “Can you~?! Can you~?! Can you~?!”

However, before the magical boy could respond, something new caught the easily distracted Princess of Dreams’s attention…

“Wowie zowie~! Samurai Wamuri-chan and her sister wister are heresie weresie, too~! (giggle!)” MDP exclaimed happily as she darted over to glomp the two sisters. “Magical Dream Princess is sooo super duper happy wappy to see you againsie~! (giggle!) Ooooohh~! And she just wuvs your matching watching outfit woufits~! (giggle!)”






Gaia smiled in grim satisfaction as she watched the Spade she’d fired upon explode above a squad of Club soldiers, pelting them with flaming shrapnel.

That’s one down, at least…

All in all, the battle actually seemed to be turning in their favor, with every member of the Oz-themed unit having been eliminated, save the towering Tin Man, and it looked like he was on his proverbial “last legs”. Indeed, as Gaia watched, the magical boy who had climbed atop the metallic colossus shifted away with its multiple hearts. Bereft of its apparent power source, the Tin Man wobbled for a moment, before falling with an almighty clang.

Right onto the twin barriers shielding the town, completely shattering them both…

Damn it… Gaia hissed under her breath. Of course that was going to happen…

“Oh my heavens! How absolutely awful!” the Angel of Hope cried in horror, placing her trembling hands over her open mouth.

Seriously?! Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Aaaaargh! Well, at least the artillery’s died down a bit… I guess that’s something… Still… With nothing to shield them, the poor souls of this innocent village are now completely at the mercy of these horrid invaders! And I fear I lack the mana needed to create the Aegis anew! Oh, whatever shall we—

An instant later, the heavenly beauty’s thoughts were cut off by a barrage of missiles, energy beams, actinic lightning, glowing crystalline spikes, and swirling streams of warped reality, which utterly laid waste to the closest Clubs attempting to take advantage of the fallen barriers.

Whirling around, both the Angel and Gaia were greeted with the sight of over two dozen ultra-tech magical girls, all heavily armed with a dizzying array of incredibly bizarre and incredibly powerful-looking weapons.

“Mother’s Mantle…” Gaia whispered, her eyes widening in stunned amazement.

What.

The.

Fuck.


Meanwhile, Oliver had carried Connie to the evac shelter, where the now-awakened townsfolk were starting to have a bit of a freak out…

As was Connie herself…

After the incredibly harrowing and embarrassing experience of being bridal carried through a war zone by a boy she’d only just met minutes before, the timid girl felt like she was on the verge of a full-scale panic attack. And maybe a heart attack as well…

Ohgoshohgoshohgoshohgosh her frantic mind raced as she was presented with yet another distressing sight, the townsfolk’s frantic hysteria only adding to the kind-hearted girl's own. Then she heard Oliver ask her a question. “O-Oh!” she gasped, having been slightly started by the sound of her name. “U-U-Ummm, w-well… N-N-Not r-really…” she replied, her masked visage looking very despondent. “I-I, u-umm o-only h-have n-n-nightmare m-magic,” she explained. “A-A-And, I-I d-don’t r-really t-think t-that w-would h-h-help v-very m-much… I-I’m s-sorry f-for b-being s-so u-useless…” she added in a soft whisper, while hanging her head in despair.

“Awww, like, don’t worry, Connie Wonnie~!” a startlingly cheerful voice called out from behind them.




“Magical Dream Princess is heresie weresie to helpy welpy~! (giggle!)”

“M-Magical D-Dream Princess?! W-When did y-you g-get here?!”

“Just nowie~! (giggle!)” the whimsical girl chirped as she skipped into the shelter. “Like, hi, everybodywody~!” she greeted the gathered villagers with a bright smile and an energetic wave. “Magical Dream Princess knows thingie wingies are super duper confusing wusing and scary wary right nowie, but, like, everythingie wingie is gonna be okie dokie, cause, like, this is just a really bad dreamy weamy, and Magical Dream Princess is gonna makey wakey it into a super duper sweety weety dreamy weamy instead~! (giggle!)”

With that, the whimsical girl waved her glittery wand and sent a prismatic wave of dream magic through all the frightened townsfolk, instantly placing them in a contented slumber, while sparkly pink clouds were conjured to catch them before they could fall to the hard floor.

“Ta daaa~!” MDP declared, striking a cute pose. “All better wetter~! (giggle!) Wowie zowie~!” she exclaimed a moment later. “Oliver Woliver’s heresie weresie, too~! (giggle!)” Bouncing over, she quickly wrapped both the ghost boy and Connie up in a group hug. “Magical Dream Princess is super duper sorry worry she took so longy wongy to get heresie weresie, but, like, she was super duper busy wusy making waking some new friendy wendies~! (giggle!)”

“N-New f-friends…?” a still rather shaken up Connie asked.

“Yeperoonie~! (giggle!)” MDP confirmed. “In facty wacty, they’re right outsidey widey~! (giggle!) Cause, like, they wanted to helpy welpy too~!”





* * *

Epilogue-
Instruments of Destruction


* * *


After making a suitably grand entrance, the members of Phase Two set to work annihilating the Wonderland forces. Team Tertiarius, being composed of aerial combat specialists, took to the skies, where they began methodically vaporizing the remaining Spades with polyphasic photon blasters, monomolecular hyper-quantum hyperion lances, and variable-vortex digi-destructo cannons. Simultaneously, the long-range heavy bombardment specialists of Team Quaternarius set their sights on eliminating what was left of the Wonderland artillery. Focusing their attention on the field pieces furthest from where Penny was engaging the Queen of Hearts, they began their assault with a world-shattering blast from Quaternarius-01’s superheavy infinite hyper-hellbore siegebreaker cannon. The ruinous cylinder of annihilation it vomited forth effortlessly penetrated the hillside behind which the artillery had erroneously believed they were protected, gouging a molten hole through the mound of earth, before utterly obliterating the hapless war machines beyond.

And as for the advancing Clubs, well…

“Hahahaha! This isn’t even a challenge!” Primus-04 laughed in sadistic glee as she incinerated several Club troopers in a gout of technomantic flame.

“I believe that is the entire point,” the calm voice of Primus-06 replied as she impassively watched her pet cyber-shark go on a feeding frenzy throughout the Clubs’ ranks, sending limbs and gore flying in every direction. “After all, for what other reason were we given life?”

Meanwhile, the one who gave said life was admiring her handiwork…



No, I’m NOT a PC. Yes, I AM taking part in this event. And yes, Plat, those really ARE my actual stats. DEAL WITH IT!!! NYAHAHAHAHA!!!

-Doctor Nykannis


“Nyahahaha!!!” Doctor Nykannis cackled maniacally. “Now THIS is what I’m talking about!”

Even as she watched her creations tear the Wonderlanders to shreds, data accumulator-tipped mechadendrites extended to scan various pieces of Wonderland tech, a rifle here, a helmet there, while a quartet of drones detached from the Monarch of Mad Science’s towering Combat Form to run a full spectrum analysis on the Tin Man’s remains. Simultaneously, a fifth drone also detached, only to blink out of existence a moment later, having shifted to the Overcity in order to analyze the Tin Man’s hearts (even if it had to follow them into The Cradle to do so).

It was about then that she noticed the approach of one of the local defenders, a green-skinned young woman who greatly resembled a forest nymph.

For her part, while initially startled by the new arrivals, Gaia had quickly realized that they were on the same side. Not only that, but the largest among them was somewhat familiar…

“I thank you for the most welcome assistance,” the verdant maiden told the technomantic titan looming over her. “If I am not mistaken, you are that scientist my dearest Connie and I met at the Christmas party,” she added. “Doctor Nykannis, correct?”

“That’s right,” the Mad Scientist Supreme replied with a grin. “I normally tend to avoid getting involved with this kinda shit, but these guys needed a proper field test, and I thought the little clusterfuck you’ve got going on here would serve to facilitate that rather nicely. So you and your pals can just sit back and enjoy the sh— WHAT THE?!!” Nykannis exclaimed in shock, her train of thought having been momentarily derailed by the sudden appearance of something on her shoulder. An instant later, she had regained her composure, after realizing exactly who the strange young woman in question was. “Oh, hey Jen,” she greeted her chaos-craving friend. “So, I guess you finally decided to experience the insanity of this reality plenum firsthand, huh?” she inquired with a smirk. “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” the Monarch of Mad Science added, gesturing to the various members of Phase Two. “I gotta say, they’re easily some of my finest work, all either Diamond or Challenger Grade. Hell, take the Grand Magistrate out of the equation, and they’d cream Justine, Penny, and Rachel in less than two seconds.”

However, before the disguised (false) Witch of Time could respond, Primus-01’s voice sounded out. “Deployment Zone secure, Doctor Kannis,” she stated. “Should we now move to eliminate the Wonderland Monarch?”

“Negative,” Nykannis replied. “That’s Penny’s fight,” she added, her many eyes glowing with even greater intensity as a toothy grin spread across her face. “And I’m VERY interested in seeing how she fares…”



Upon finally catching up to Nicole, Dana had helped Penny calm the panicking redhead down a bit, before agreeing to follow the fashion-conscious Hastan to a local clothing shop. No sooner had they walked through the door, then her team leader had begun searching for the perfect swimsuit with an intensity that was both comical and more than a little concerning… After all, Dana herself was certainly no fashionista and she had never really understood why so many girls were so obsessed with how they looked. The cheerful Norban felt perfectly comfortable with herself just the way she was and didn’t see the point in pretending to be something she wasn’t just to fit in, or impress a member of the “popular crowd” so much that they’d want to include her in their circle of friends. If people didn’t like her for who she was, then they really weren’t the sort of people she’d want to be friends with in the first place.

Then there was price tag to consider. Although she had grown up in a fairly wealthy household, Dana had never let her prosperity go to her head. Instead, she had used the resources she’d been blessed with to help those who were less fortunate. Knowing that she had spent a small fortune on a designer dress, handbag, or swimsuit when so many people were struggling just to eat was something the kind-hearted girl could never be okay with. Besides, while her clothing choices might have been cheap, they were comfortable and looked nice, at least in her opinion, and that was the important thing, wasn’t it?

Thus, when she boarded the Assurance the following day, Dana was garbed in a simple, bright yellow bikini and jean shorts combo that perfectly mirrored her sunny demeanor. Placing her hands on her hips, the cheerful Norban surveyed the various goings on, a brilliant grin quickly spreading from ear to ear. Although she’d never been to a party quite like this, and especially not one on a luxury yacht, the bundle of excited energy that was Dana Noel knew one thing for certain- this was gonna be fun.

“Wow, Aiya! This is really some boat!” Dana noted when their host welcomed them aboard. “I know ya just wanted to see Nicole again, so thanks for lettin’ us tag along!” she added with a playful wink, while putting her arm around Penny. “I’m sure we’re gonna have a great time!”

The two hours that followed saw the bubbly Norban bounce from group to group as she took a self-guided tour of the opulent ship. She knew some of the other guests, Cara and Priya, of course, and Noah, too, but the majority of the cadets were new to her, and the ever-friendly Dana wasted no time in getting acquainted. Yet, even between making new friends and making sure Penny wasn’t totally freaking out, she’d still managed to find time for a harmless prank. Having retrieved a chocolate bar from the travel bag slung over her shoulder, the mischievous Ars Magi had removed the wrapper and nonchalantly thrown it backwards over the side of the boat and right into the middle of some unsuspecting swimmers. Still, even with all the dancing, games, and overall wild revelry, Dana couldn’t help but feel that something was missing, and once she’d realized what it was, she wasted no time in seeking out Aiya to address the matter.

“Hey, Aiya!” the grinning Norban called with a wave as she made her way over. “Where are ya hidin’ the water guns?!”



Dana listened as Penny explained why her haunted house suggestion probably wasn’t the best idea, her eyes growing wider as the bespectacled girl went on.

“Wow…” a stunned Dana said once her roommate had finished. “That must have really been somethin’, huh? I mean, it totally sucks that people actually got traumatized and all,” she added with a frown, before her smile returned with full force. “But now I almost wanna see it even more, y’know?!”




“Swimsuit?” Dana echoed in slight confusion when Nicole inquired if she and Penny had packed swimwear. “Uh, yeah, I’ve got my usual one,” she added. “But I don’t really know how cute it is…” After all, Dana had never really been one for fashion, instead, simply wearing what felt comfortable. However, further discussion on the subject would have to wait, as Nicole proceeded to have something of a minor freak out before bolting out the door, leaving a not-so-small gust of wind in her wake.

“Uh, do ya think we should go after her?” Dana asked her roommate. “She looked kinda upset…”
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