This isn't a Christmas story, but I'd like to think it's enjoyable nonetheless!
"As per Bjorls tradition, he shall fight in the final match unclad!"
Beren turned around, and his face went from incredulity to aghast. The hulking, seven foot Northman entered the ring, stark naked in all of his glory. Immediately Beren averted his eyes and let out an 'ugh' as the ladies within the crowd let out whoops.
"Ew, that is just disgusting and pretty gay. Are we re- are you really going to-" Beren began, then sighed. Bjorl looked at Beren with a raised eyebrow, as if the very questioning of this was beneath him. All around the crowd watched. Many of the maidens eyes were intently on Bjorl, and did not notice the humorless look in Beren's eyes.
"Match ready?.... Begin!"
Bjorl flexed his abdominals, and spread his big arms wide. He showed his teeth and set a grim visage on his face, and charged forward like a bull, intent on bowling Beren over and winning this match with a fierce offensive. Some of the crowd cheered as they watched, in sure belief that this single attack would end the match before it had even begun. Secret gasped. Bjorl stamps drew ever closer to his adversary in a thundering roar of muscle and hair!
Beren kicked Bjorl straight in the nuts.
The painful, squealing wheeze of Bjorl cut through the crowd's gasps like a Knife, and the big man fell to his knees as intense pain wracked his body. "Sorry, but you kinda left yourself way too open." Beren declared.
Doubled over, Bjorl's head was nearly touching the ground as he gasped for air and whimpered. The Eru'Dai stood over him. "This is a serious fight." he said. "You're a murderer, a thief, a raider, and worst of a all a narcissist. I'm not going to let you both show off, and make me uncomfortable at the same time with your unclad strategy. I fully intend to fight you honorably, but as long as you fight unfairly, I will."
The high born ladies screamed for Beren to be disqualified, and one of them was weeping.
Bjorl couldn't speak yet, but glanced upwards and gazed at Beren with what could only be described as seething hatred. Beren just shook his head, sheer deadpan annoyance on his face. "Can't believe I'm fighting a naked man."
Eloryan ran out of the crowd, stopping at the edge of the ring. "Beren, what the hell is wrong with you?"
Beren turned to the Elf, and he could see Secret shaking her head as she strode over as well, hands on her hips. Beren still looked fairly done with the whole situation. He pointed behind him towards Bjorl. "This guy was naked! I wasn't about to let that stand...or dangle."
Eloryan facepalmed, and Secret did her best to hide her continued astonished laughter. "You do realize doing that gives him an advantage, right?" the Elf asked.
Beren shrugged, and turned back to Bjorl. The big warrior seemed almost able to speak now, shuddering and still on his knees. "Now, I will give you an hour to collect yourself, and if you put some pants on and can actually walk straight by then, we'll have a real fight. Do you agree?"
Through clenched teeth, Bjorl sucked in deep breaths as he glared daggers at Beren. "Aye." he croaked. His next words were barked at his servants. "Get me some trousers!"
With that, the young southerner turned and strode back to his corner of the sidelines. "And they call me the savage." he muttured. The High born ladies were still yelling at him and lamenting Bjorl being so hurt by a brute. One of them pointed at Beren and threatened to have him imprisoned.
Beren pointed back at them. Secret was grabbing at his arm before he could say something out of line, but he kept speaking. "This is about combat and honor! Not your sick sexual fantasies! Go buy yourself some men and leave my hobby alone!"
Also, kudos to all of you for being awesome :)