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1 mo ago
Current best I got's a microwave burrito and a handle of popov, straight
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4 mos ago
when you smash ron after someone else calls riichi for one han just to make sure they get nothing
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10 mos ago
To this day, I regret not being able to try pre-nerf four loko
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10 mos ago
FREEDOM NEVER SLEEPS
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1 yr ago
are you seriously asking for a savage carry on RPG
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CMDR SAGAN "VULTURE" KODOS


"Talk to me, Gunns. How's our TO&E look for this deployment?" They sat in the crew chief's office in the corner of the hangar, sipping sodas. It would have been booze and smokes, but it was still on-duty hours. That, and both of them knew one of them in here could be deploying at any time within the next seventy-two hours.

"Well, sir, it'd look a damn sight better last tour." Came the chief's response, to which Sagan sighed, removing his ever-present, non-regulation shades to pinch his brow.

"Was afraid of that. Can guess why too, between all the custom and limited production models."

"You said it, sir. Not me." Chief Gunns threw his hands up with a grin. "Let's see...obvious ones first: you're fine, we all know you're just gonna do that Vulture shit anyways. Laurent and von Brandt're good, they're piloting models close enough to production standard. We've got the specs recorded for the Sparrowhawk's tuning and the Secutor doesn't need anything fancier than more armor. Vess's Blackout is dicier: legs have to be custom spec. If she has to get shot, tell her to take it in the arms. Virtanen's Griffin's fine, we got enough spare parts. Now, as for the elephants in the room..."

"God damn nepo baby shit." Sagan finished for him, grumbling. "Dunno what's worse, Commie's new crotch rocket, which he's halfway to burning out already on training manuevers, or the new kid's fucking Venator. Which defense industry contact did his daddy blow to score that?"

"Can't deny it'll kick ass, Commander."

"If some Coalie doesn't core it. New meat hasn't seen a minute of real battle yet. He manages to total his ride and live, he's going in a Sentry-"

"General Quarters, General Quarters. All hands to battle stations. I repeat: General Quarters. General Quarters..."

"And here we go. Keep the hanger crew prepped, Chief. It'd take the baby Space Jesus Himself for us to make it outta this coming furball with all our mechs intact."

"Will do, Commander. Happy hunting out there."

___

> Confirming Pilot Assignment: CMDR SAGAN KODOS
> ...Pilot Confirmed
> Initializing systems...


Well. At least it looked like all that drilling he'd done for the squad to go from rack to cockpit in ninety seconds had paid off. Damn near everyone seemed to be on time.

> Reactor: Online_
> Life Support: Online_
> Shield Generator: Online_
> Weapon Systems: Online_


"Hah! Fuck you Hex!"

"DAMMIT!"

Sagan took a second to take a deep breath, close his eyes, and think of the pension. Space Christ on a crutch, would it kill them to at least use private channels? He opened his eyes again, proceeding with final checks and startup while cueing his comms.

> All Calibrations Complete
> All Systems Nominal
> Standby for Launch


All systems green. He radioed flight control first.

<< Tower, Vulture. Green to go, moving to launch. >>

Next, squad comms.

<< Alright, boys and girls: this is your commander speaking. Sit down and raise your hand if you want to go to the bathroom, because class is starting. We had the briefing yesterday, but guess what? You're still gonna have to listen to me yammer on before we launch. High Command, in their infinite wisdom, has decided to send special ops units straight into the goddamn grinder. Most of you are familiar with furballs. A couple of you ain't. Few words of advice: stick with the rest of the squad. We watch each other's backs and fight smart, we'll break through. Try to be a hero in this shitpile, you're gonna die. That's why the rest of us're trying to make sure you don't. >>

<< Now, those of you who ain't given green lights yet, sound off! I want us in vacuum while the Coalies're still shitting themselves from the alarm! >>

@The Otter @Click This

"Neither of you have nearly enough parental issues in your profiles to get away with that." Kayliss groused, taking the reports she was given and starting to read through them. The thermos of coffee was taken without a word and drank through in record time. After several minutes of reading, the veteran SEED set the reports down and tucked them away.

"Well," She began, taking a moment to massage her temples. "No one can say you haven't been busy. Dame-Commander, and congratulations on the promotion, I'll make sure yours makes it to the Overseer."

Kayliss sat in the room's only chair, one leg crossed over the other.

"You two do realize, by the way, that this information is more than enough to net you King Leonhart's ten million gil? Food for thought. In any case, you've done well. Ordinarily, this is where I'd call for at least Mathiassen to return to Skael with me for redeployment. Though something tells me you two would protest that at this point."

She pulled an antique-looking timepiece out of her tunic, taking a moment to set it.

"Five minutes. Convince me."

___

@VitaVitaAR @vietmyke @HereComesTheSnow

"Gah!" The highwaymen's attempt at robbery failed to pan out, the three remaining of the group that hadn't been slain looking at each other helplessly for a moment before unaninmously deciding to throw down their weapons.

"Enough, enough! We lay down our arms!" Cut-and-thrust swords clattered to the stones, the masked men putting their hands up, palms open. "Himstus be damned, you people fight like demons!"

"That's a Dragoon, you dolt! How in the hells did we even run into one out here?! I thought we left all that shite behind with Edren!"

"Forget him, why's the boy in the stupid uniform fight like a godsdamn copy of the Cap'n?"

Somehow, the goons managed to forget they were being held at sword and spearpoint as they started to bicker among themselves, though not without inadvertently revealing some choice information...

___

Ranbu no Izayoi


Izayoi sat on the patio of a local bistro with Ciradyl, enjoying dinner. Nothing else happened.
Renar Hagen


Renar was already halfway towards scattering as Fanilly gave the order, his eyes tracking the gigantic wooden snake's movements, and his mind already racing with countermeasures. Unfortunate that the most straightforward solution would be the most counterproductive to their actual goal here. A shame, too. He would have liked to see how this creature burned.

Fortunate that he was at least better equipped in this situation than a swordsman would be. Certainly, the head of his poleaxe wouldn't be as effective as a real woodcutting axe would be, but enhanced with runes and dwarf-forged as it was, chances were very good that cutting into would repeatedly at least wouldn't damage the weapon. Failing that, there was still the hammer head.

As Fionn started clambering up snake, much like Renar had done with Thrinax, the latter knight took an alternate approach. While the foe would be distracted by that and Tyaethe's charge, Renar half-climbed, half-leapt up a tree close to where the snake was, his training having paid dividends in regards to his swiftness. Upon scaling to a decent enough height, he clutched his poleaxe in his right, hung off the tree with his left, and braced both of his knees in a crouch before leaping off the tree as a springboard, aiming to circumvent climbing the snake altogether and plunge onto it, his weapon in both hands and crashing down towards its body.


Lady Safina Haliel


"Two sirloins, pink in the center. With roast capon, and some greens." Safina ordered without a hint of shame. If there was one perk to the guise of nobility that she had no hesitation in abusing, it was access to fine food.

With that finished, she settled onto the topic of business after the maid had left.

"If Rhinecliff has liquid funds at his disposal, they weren't in any nook or cranny of his estate. We found geas-contracts. Dozens. One for each guild in Odonfield, and with several businesses in other duchies as well. It seems the good Duke has his fingers in no few pies. We took them, of course."

She reached for the wine and a spare goblet, pouring herself little more than an ounce or two at most.

"My people are holding them for now. Once we're finished here, I'll be overseeing the scrolls' transport from headquarters to the castle here. Too many for us to move them discreetly all at once."

The elf's ears twitched, and she deliberately said nothing further as the maid returned with Safina's rather large meal. A wave of her hand dismissed the girl before she tested each portion for toxins with an alchemically-treated needle. When satisfied, Safina took up fork and knife and started to set in on the platter of meat and greens, dining with impeccable table manners despite the rapid pace at which she was eating. One wondered where she put it all, considering her figure.
@Raineh Daze @Ithradine

A chortle came from the man for whom fat was a gross understatement of a descriptor.

"Soriel, Soriel, Soriel. Everyone's talking about her these days, it'd seem. Makes sense, what with all of the Blight nonsense going on. Good for business in the short term. In the long term? Well, I don't much fancy dying should it reach here, regardless of what our illustrious Grovemasters say." The Gardner took a puff of his pipe, blowing smoke out in lazy rings.

"I can provide many things, oh tall, dented, and dinged. Exact location would be a stretch, even for a king's ransom. That woman comes and goes like the wind, with only rumor left in her wake. But I could point you in the right direction. For a...more than reasonable sum, of course." His teeth flashed in a grin. Silver, every last one of them.

"Three hundred thousand gil. Convince me you're not out to kill her, and I might lower it." An absurd price. Not exactly spending change, even for high nobility. One could buy a small plot of land with that high of a sum.
In general, although I mostly just use the Bing one.
Lady Safina Haliel


Unfortunately for Elysabeth, she would be left waiting until nightfall. By the time she took dinner in private, a hand would reach out while she dined, pouring wine from a carafe into the Countess's goblet.

"I see everyone has decided to take a leave of absence. Had I known, I would have taken a detour until Her Majesty's return." Safina mused, setting the carafe down and striding over to sit down in the seat next to Elysabeth's while clad in her noble guise's usual finery.

"Reporting back. Is Her Majesty afield? What is our current situation?"

What went unsaid was the pointed look Safina gave Elysabeth. Ruling a kingdom from the shadows, for however long until Evelyn or that young ponce Vulluin returned, had never been supposed to be in the cards for Safina. She led only one thing: her own people. Could Elysabeth handle things here without Safina's intervention?
I don't mind at all, I use AI gen for character images when there's absolutely nothing that fits my concept otherwise.
Iraleth Kyrios


Iraleth's thoughts were interrupted by yet more crazed ranting. The principal? She sneered. What good would that do Ciara now?

"Does it even matter, in the end?" Iraleth murmured out loud. "Perhaps you do hear voices in your head that turn you into an insane mummer. All that proves is that you're a danger to those around you." She continued to gaze down at the delirious witch.

"What do you think would have happened if you'd dueled someone that couldn't have fended you off? Bronsteel would have crumpled the second you laid hands upon him. And then he would be dead, Ciara. Because you couldn't control yourself."

She eyed the pillow Ciara was laying on. The madness could all end here, before anyone could actually be seriously hurt or killed. It would be so easy...

But was that right? Did Ciara even deserve trial at this point? Her actions were almost guaranteed guilty. Would it be a mercy to simply snuff her out here and save her a humiliating trial and most probable execution...?

Iraleth froze. What the hell was she doing? This wasn't the field. Ciara was a prisoner at this point. Had she really been so personally affected by the duel that she'd been legitimately contemplating playing judge, jury, and executioner all on her lonesome? It wasn't as if she believed that Ciara wouldn't be killed for this. The duel in the Record was damning. But it wasn't her decision, her authority to uphold.

The paladin forced herself away from Ciara's bedframe, brushing past the curtains to emerge out into the rest of the infirmary room. And she set out into the hall, intent on finding someone that had Adapa access to Raja.
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