mattmanganon said
So, how are my guys on page 9? Anything that you think needs changing?
Okay, here's my review, Mattmanganon:
Male levinti picture is either missing or broken.
Leviniti have 4 traits? I thought we were only supposed to have two? I guess that's a GM question to settle.
Mogg - don't really have a disadvantage trait, but do have an advantage trait? Possibly another GM thing.
Kenris - if one is cut off they do nothing - yet they can communicate so long as they're in the same universe - so how could you possibly cut one off from the hivemind?
Galfan - *
wear and tear (minor mispelling)
Maybe collab to have them all run from some other PC race that then lost interest for whatever reason? Just a thought.
Culture/Society: "they landed on the Lush planet that way Brittania" (another minor spelling/grammar thing; I think you meant to say "that they named Brittania")
Galfans and Levinti can breed? Interesting. Kinda neat. Raises a "is Solus real?" question.
Mecha. Ugh. (That's strictly a personal and arbitrary hatred of mecha on my part; it looks fine [in fact, i like how it gives the leviniti a
robotGalfan-like form. I think it works, and is therefore an exception toward my general attitude toward mechas. Heck, it even reinforces the "is Solus real" theme.])
Why are Praetorians only sent to code black battles? Too few to have on every field? It makes sense from a meta RP perspective, but it's not quite explained from an in-universe perspective.
They seem interesting. They have a uniqueness to them in that you've got five separate species, so it
feels like a federation. One that could fly apart at any moment. So they've definitely got character. I can't speak much to the military side of things. It seems like you care about RP'ing them more than "winning" with them, so that's good.
Name: The Grand Brittanian Federation
(scores out of 5)
Uniqueness: 4
RP-ability: 3 (it might be annoying to have to RP each species' reaction to every event. You've got like five factions in one here!)
Interactivity: 4 (seems like people will be able to interact with your species)
Drama Potentiality Factor: 5
Fleshed Out: 4 (you could add some stuff to history if you wanted to)
Potential to Survive: 3 (I could see them imploding or surviving; it depends if they work together or not)
Theme/Metaphor Bonus: 2
(4/5+3/5+4/5+5/5+3/5+2/5)/5 = 21/25 = 84%
Here's my review on my race, for fairness' sake:
Name: Kerbal Interstellar Program
Uniqueness: 4 (space lemmings seems very unique; stealing directly from a videogame... less so)
RP-ability: 3 (what are you going to do outside of launching rockets at places? seriously!)
Interactivity: 2 (Um. You don't even have a central government)
Drama Potentiality Factor: 1 (They don't even care if they get killed!)
Fleshed Out: 4 (you could add some more history, but other parts seem thought-out)
Potential to Survive: 2 (HA!)
Hilarity Bonus: 5
(4+3+1+2+4+5)/25 = 19/25 = 76%
Member
PrinceAlexus,
Izurich,
Sep,
Forsythe
