shagranoz

What Is The Worst Movie?

Alright, it may not be the worst film ever, but there's one that crushed my very soul like no other: Gods and Generals. This is a story in two parts. The Build-Up, and The Disaster.

The Build-Up

The story of Gods and Generals began more than two decades before a single cell of film was shot, with Michael Shaara's book about the battle of Gettysburg, The Killer Angels. Shaara intended to follow up the Pulitzer Prize novel with a prequel and a sequel, but died before they could be written.

Flash forward a decade to 1990. Despite the fact that there has never been a good battlefield film of the war, and with everyone seeing no reason for this to be any different, Ted Turner has picked up the film rights to the Killer Angels. Utterly unknown director Ron Maxwell is tapped for the project, and while shooting, calls up Michael's son Jeff and asks him to write the never started other two books. Bear in mind at this point that Jeff is a rare coin dealer with no writing experience whatsoever.

Well, beginner's luck seems to be the order of the day. The film Gettysburg is a gigantic success, and Jeff's prequel novel Gods and Generals is regarded as even better than his father's work, sparking the Shaara military history franchise. As soon as the Gods and Generals adaptation is announced, every Civil War nut's thought process is as follows:

"Damn, they got nearly everyone back?? And not only is Stephen Lang returning, he's gonna be Stonewall? Maxwell's still behind the camera? This whole trilogy seems to be blessed by God himself! Holy shit, this might even top Gettysburg!"

The Disaster

However, there was one major problem: For Gettysburg, Maxwell had not needed to do anything with the home front. In fact, there is a single line from a civilian in the entire 4 hour plus film. Half of Gods and Generals was non-military scenes, and he simply was terrible with them. In addition, not using the incredible main theme from Gettysburg at all was a massive mistake, and Lang, the major star, never found his footing. The end result was what could have been a great and quite frankly needed film franchise dead in the cradle. C'est la vie.

Dr. Nidhogg's Academy of Dragonology

"Yeah. I can scarcely believe it myself." Jenny's eyes flashed over to Vivi's birds. "Cute little fellas. Better be careful with them, though. These dragons might get hungry at one point or another." She shook her head. "Granted, some of them are so big they might eat us, too."

Spells in the Dark (18+ For dark and suggestive themes)

That would work.

Spells in the Dark (18+ For dark and suggestive themes)

Hey, mei. Where's the witches collab?

Dr. Nidhogg's Academy of Dragonology

It had been the craziest thing. What looked like a giant furry butterfly had dropped off some sort of letter about a dragonology school. Obviously, a viral marketing campaign using drones, though for what, Jenny couldn't figure. In any case, she immediately put it in the shredder without a second thought.

It was a few days later, and Jenny was cooking dinner in her apartment. As she turned to grab the pasta box, a light appeared in her hand. At first, she didn't understand what was going on, and then the words 'Take this letter and dispose of it' jumped into her head. And I... Oh. Oh my God.

The light seemed to bloom, becoming so bright she had to turn her head away. Thankfully, she didn't close her eyes, so she saw the incredible transformation of the room around her into a wide-open lakeside meadow, with actual, bona fide dragons. It was all too much by half for the young woman. She fainted dead away.

Dr. Nidhogg's Academy of Dragonology

If it's alright, may I join in?

Name: Jennifer "Jenny" Miller

Age: 23

Female

Appearance: bing.com/images/search?q=black+haired+..

In-depth appearance: Jenny is a tiny girl, standing all of 4'10. She wears small gold earrings.

Personality: "And though she be but little, she is fierce!" These words might have been written four hundred years ago, but they apply perfectly to Jenny today. She never backs down from a challenge. The unknown doesn't frighten her; on the contrary, it excites her.

Hobbies: Running, traveling, reading.

College of Magic Interest thread.

I'll join. It'll be good to get a feel for some characters I'm using in a novel.

Spells in the Dark (18+ For dark and suggestive themes)

sub]in collaboration with @Meiyuki[/sub]

"Laying Eggs"

It had been one of the longest, most maddening days of Saen's life. Apparently, rats had gotten into the castle pantry, and it had fallen to her to solve the problem. Most of the day had been spent trying to figure out some sort of ward to keep them out, and the rest was devoted to repairing the hole in the masonry the obnoxious little rodents had used. There hadn't even been enough good meat on the things to make them worth hunting!

Now, as the afternoon light was dying, she was basking in what rays she could in the castle garden, relieved to be out of the cold, wet depths of the castle.

"Saen, looking lovely this evening." Alyssa's cheerful voice sounded as she rounded the corner and stepped into the garden. She wore a look of forced cheer over a deep and pervasive weariness. "What have you been up to?"

"Rats. Scurrying around the pantry and Medusa told me to ward them out." A shiver of exhaustion struck her. "It feels like my scales are starting to rot from all the dampness down there." She caught a glance of Alyssa's worn-out features. "You look like I feel. What happened to you?"

Alyssa wondered at the irony of sending a lamia to deal with a rat infestation. It was amusing to imagine Saen pouncing on wayward rodents, but obviously the woman didn't enjoy the task, so she kept her thoughts to herself. "What a compliment to pay a lady!" She laughed.

"My attempts to aquire either a child or my sister's attentions have gone awry." Taking a seat on one of the benches overlooking the flowers of the garden she sighed. "But at least we won't need to worry about facing each other on the battlefield you and I. If Sousiel's to be trusted anyway."

"I've heard the same. Probably the best for me, my magic is of little use in a war." Saen's nose wrinkled as she smiled. "I can understand Lorelai being infatuated with her new little girl, but a child? Why don't you do what the fae do and just kidnap one? Doesn't take near as long... though I'll admit, it takes all the fun out of the process, too."

"I could just kidnap one," Alyssa sighed, rubbing her temples. "But my bloodline is dying, and I need a daughter with the gift if the Von'Strausses are ever to regain any of their old glory."

"I'm not as black-souled as my sister, I can't just taint someone with the Tongue." She laughed wryly. "Which leaves me with the traditional method."

She turned to Saen, head tillted in curiousity. "Excuse me if this is entirely too personal, but... how do you... reproduce?"

"Tainting someone? I've never heard of such a process." Saen's eyebrows crawled up to her hairline at the last question. "The same way as you do, though we do not necessarily need a man. So I could give you the daughter you seek with no issue, but to have her innately understand the Dragon's Tongue, well... it seems to me you do not have the parts needed. Unless, of course, you're hiding something unexpected under your clothes."

"It's a vile process, frowned on by even the most debached of my clan." Alyssa explained, mostly to buy time as she considered Saen's offer. "It... it actually involves... um... growing a male appendage."

"Speaking of male appendages..." Alyssa shifted uncomfortably, her cheeks coloring brightly. [color=0072bc]"Uh... there's a... _{ritual for that}." by the end of her sentance her voice was but a shy whisper.

"My mother claimed there was a ritual for just about everything, but I never expected there was one for that." Saen gave Alyssa a look. "You say you wish to preserve your traditions? Well, I wish to preserve mine as well. If we are to do this, we shall do it in the way of my people. She will be raised as a lamia and a human both. Those are my terms."

"You've little to worry about there, Von'Strauss aren't raised as humans." Alyssa blinked several times. Was Saen really willing to have a child with her, just like that? Was she really going to go through with it> "Wait... you're serious? You'd do this?"

"Truth be told, I'm in a similar situation to you. There aren't as many lamia as you'd think, and most of us live thousands of miles away. Our children would only be half-bloods, but there is very little stigma attached to the term among us, and every species wishes to spread." Saen slithered over to a fallen oak branch and began plucking off leaves. "First, though, I must make my nest. Would you mind helping? This is as much your child as mine, after all."

Alyssa paused for a moment, her mind still reeling, before standing to join Saen at the task. "A lamia demon-binder..." Her face bloomed into a smile. "I... I never thought I'd have to perfect a ritual to grow a member."

She laughed warmly. "I also never thought my daughter would be a lamia, or need a nest, or..." She fell silent, her eyes on the small pile of leaves she was adding to. "Thanks Saen."

"It's no problem, truly. And yes, they do need a nest. The leaves keep the eggs protected from the elements, and as they rot, they give off heat to keep them warm. I can lay them almost immediately, but they'll still need a week before they're ready to hatch." A few more leaves, and the pile was about two feet high. "That should do quite nicely. Now, about this ritual..."

Spells in the Dark (18+ For dark and suggestive themes)

Anyone at the castle who wants to join Fetz and I, come on down!

titanpad.com/I6EIVuPdzA

Wild City- A Dresden Files roleplay.

And now, for our erstwhile GMPC!

Name: Michelle Sanders

High Concept: Policewoman Psychometer

Trouble: Can't Keep Her Mouth Shut

Aspect 1: Broken Bird

Michelle grew up in a troubled household. Her father Charles was a heavy drinker and a violent drunk. Not a good combination. Her often took out his alcohol-induced rage on Michelle's mother, and occasionally on Michelle herself. Thankfully, he drank himself all the way to death one August night, but the past still haunts Michelle, and she bears many psychological scars.

Aspect 2: A Thirst For Knowledge

In high school, Michelle fell in with the goth kids. As they have a tendency to do, they got their hands on some occult books, namely those on what could be called psychic abilities. Michelle took one of the books home, and when she started following the instructions for psychometry, lo and behold, she got an image. This fueled many a late-night research binge, although knowing about a subject and being able to put that knowledge to practical use are often two different things.

Aspect 3: The Law, Right or Wrong

Michelle's difficult upbringing toughened her resolve to prevent others from having to go through what she did. She cleaned herself up, got a Criminal Justice degree, and got a spot on the Philadelphia Police Department's Domestic Violence Task Force. Her psychometric abilities, while obviously not admissible in court, were able to lead her down the right paths and confront perps with descriptions of their crimes, often getting them to break.