SilverWolfAngel

Demon Within (REbooting)

Hey, @KatherinWinter Are all the rooms full, as in decorated with furniture, are they mostly empty, or a bit of both?

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

Ok; I did Killing Alex, and here is my reply's and thanks to those who have reviewed it.

PlatinumSkink

@PlatinumSkink

Thank you for taking the time to read it and bother with a review. I see what you are saying and after thinking about it and letting the thought stew, I'm gonna say I agree, and I guess that's partly what I'm here for, to get others to look at my work and say; "That bit there could be done better." so, well, yeah. Thanks. :)

Also while I'm here and thinking about it, thanks for your review on Raggle Taggle Gypsy for RPGC 1. :)

CaughtInTheRiddle

@CaughtInTheRiddle

Thank you for choosing mine and taking the time. I will apologize for grammar mistakes, I'm still learning and a bit rushed, although that should probably never be used as an excuse, it is my reason. I completely missed that I had changed from past to present tense, I normally wright first-person, present-tense, when not role-playing, and was juggling working on something else, my guess? I switched from the other one, typed a bit, and switched back, never seeing the tense change.
As for her death itself, I could probably have done better, but I certainly intended her to get hit by a car, the challenge I believe was:

Write a death scene for your character. Make it unpleasant. No dying peacefully on their death bed, unless that happens to be a particularly bad way for them to go. All deaths are final. Ensure they do not return, and ensure they are not made a martyr of except perhaps against their will.

And I really did have to think for a while, after figuring out my favored character, as to how I would kill her.
I had considered having her simply swamped under by MP's and die in Hack, with her body just collapsing dead in the real world, although I do not know what happens if they die in Hack, but every time it just came back to being hit by a car.
Technically it was unpleasant, and sure as hell wasn't peacefully on her death bed. And who would make a martyr out of some random kid that became road-kill? It also never said anything about the death having to be dramatic, or amazing, just that we had to kill them. So I killed her, (And she hates me for it) and I killed her in a way I felt suited this.
I guess that what I am trying to say here is that, yes; I agree it was rushed and messy, but no; I would have still killed her off by being hit by a car.

So I'm sorry if Killing Alex was less than enjoyable to you.
I will now stop attempting to make excuses for my poor and rushed work and buckle down and accept it.
I will keep your review in mind when writing, but won't let it put me off, although I doubt that that was your intention. :)
I am Not asking to be reconsidered for winning, I can accept that I didn't, I don't even completely know why I am even writing this, but mostly I guess it is to prove a point that I don't even remember, and I guess to thank you for the review, and to acknowledge the points you made, even if I have to do it in my long-winded, rambling way.

Thank you for your time, and sorry if this is long.

(Also sorry if I sound rude, I can be a bit prickly when taking criticism, but am attempting to get better.)

So yeah, now I'm gonna go sulk before attempting the new RPGC challenge, and then you can read even more of my dubious work! :)

01101001

:) Yep, apparently that worked. :) thanks.

Edit; I'll trust you on that. I've heard the talking book of war of the worlds, but it was just a tad messed up as the thing kept skipping to random tracks, like it was on shuffle or something, although I'm not sure CD players are supposed to have shuffle, but anyways, now that you say that, I can kinda see it, kinda. :)

01101001

Meh, I can't seem to change the colour of John Doe's reply thingie. I re typed it, and re typed it again, so, it can just exist as is.

01101001

"I'm just on a chat group at the moment that I found online, Well... it looks like only 4 people have access to it, and two are online."

“Uh, huh.” She thought for a sec, that was more Rick’s area of expertise, but curiosity still nibbled at her, causing her to ask, “Can I see?” Although she ended up being rather rude, shuffling behind him to peek at the screen. The green writing caught her attention, making both sense while meaning nothing. Reading it a second time she finally took in the words on his screen;

==Hack Live==
> Anon - Offline
> John Doe - Online
> Rawr_Pwr - Offline
> xxYangtze92 - Online

Followed by

> Rawr_Pwr: "Hello?"

And a reply;

> John Doe: cant talk fighting monster will get back to you

Her eyes shooting wide, Alex paled slightly, remembering the terror from last night. The gnashing shard-teeth of the dog, the one that had tried to tear her apart. She didn’t even notice as one of the leftover tools in her hands slipped, but the clatter as it hit the concrete ground dragged her wandering mind back to reality with a jerk. "Ah, sorry."

Grinning sheepishly she bent to pick up the spanner, backing away a bit and turning back to the bench without looking at Akio, moving lose bits around without really paying attention, mostly just a way to calm herself down, to do something even if that something was just making the already disorganized bench even messier.

Half of her wanted really badly to ask what he knew about all The Hack business, but half of her was reluctant to admit that any of it might have been real and not just a screwed up dream.

Realty seemed to disagree with the dream theory however, as her username had appeared on a strangers phone. Yeah, reality was messing with her, a lot.

"So, …uh ……what do you know about that ………uh …… the …… uh ………… The Hack?" she muttered saying the last two words in a bit of a rush.

01101001

large, silvery, three-legged machine.

Shit, hunter …Run!!!!

Was literally my first thought upon seeing that picture.

From Earthfall by Mark Walden, Hunters look kinda like that but instead of legs they are tentacles, and the things drift around making a sort of humming noise. Alien technology. If they sting you, you die, slowly and painfully.

01101001

Sup bro?

(The sky, duh.)

Sorry I should never be allowed to use slang, ever.

What Are You Listening To?

I'm a Taniwha - JGeeks

For those who don't know, a Taniwha is like a giant sea dragon/serpent like thing, in Maori legends.

Quotes of the Day.

Though good quotes can sometimes be hard to find.

@Song Book

Yep, but we try our best. :)

@Ebil Bunny course they are, I've got a few of my own in here somewhere, Love your one in german by the way:)

Oasis (Survivors Wanted join anytime)

Snapping her eyes open, Exo frowned for barely a second, gathering together her conscience enough to work out where she was. She hadn't really fallen asleep, just a tad more asleep than she had intended. Slamming her eyes closed against the blinding light, she sat up, just as the jeep pretty much literally jumped a massive sand dune, evicting a grunt from Exo.

After the jeep had finally felt like it had settled back on the ground, she started fumbling through her pockets, fishing for something, growling softly as she couldn't find, ……… got it. Hooking a long thin strip of material out, she wrapped it round her eyes, protecting them from the sun. The material was still thin enough to see through, although it stopped the sun from getting to her eyes quite so easily. It didn't really impair her vision, but rather, saved it for the night.

Exo's night vision was, by far, better than her seeing during the day, but it also meant that she sometimes had a problem with the brightness of the sun, something she was getting better at dealing with.