Securely wrapped up in the blanket Iris glanced towards the TV noticing how Miles had placed a film on at her request, smiling at the gesture she shifted her weight into a more comfortable position on the couch and tried to follow along to the film. In reality she couldn’t care about what was on the screen, it was just noise to fill in the silence of the room as she had realised, she found it difficult sleeping when there was silence. The silence reminded her of the rebel prison, the penitentiary and the hospital which all gave her bad memories and flashbacks. Something she had been trying to avoid dealing with for quite some time as in her mind if she just ignored it, then surely it wasn’t real, and she could carry on as normal. If only it worked like that.
Closing her eyes, she listened to the movie playing in the background as she tried to settle, the blanket wrapped around her giving her some sort of comfort as if she was protected. The soft fabric wrapped around her skin as she tried to get some rest, sleep had been very hit and miss lately. Some nights it would be smooth, she’d get a good few hour’s rest and other nights she just couldn’t shut her mind off, focusing on various scenarios and what ifs. Then there were the times she’d see flashes of the past, horrible things that still were imprinted on her mind. The photos of her dead father for one, something that had truly unsettled her back when she was being interrogated and she didn’t know how she kept composure in the prison.
Already she was feeling like this night was going to be like the others, finding it hard to just ignore her own thoughts and pay attention to the sounds and voices from the movie. Clutching the blanket tighter she repeated the same words in her head, it’s not going to happen. I’m fine. I’m safe. The three phrases she found a slither of comfort in. Forcing the three phrases over and over, repeating them in her head she tried to get some rest for the night telling herself to just breathe in and out.
It was as if something clicked, somehow, she had started to doze off into her dreams and a part of her didn’t comprehend that she had actually fallen asleep because her imagination had started to take over. Scenarios started to play out and even though she was asleep she didn’t know it, all she could see right now was the scene unfolding in her dreams a scenario that she still feared in the back of her mind.
As if it was any other normal day Iris was curled up on the sofa with the blanket in tow, someone was shaking her awake and she groaned opening her eyes looking to see who it was. Half asleep she pushed at the figure before she finally came to realisation on who it was, Ethan. “W-What!?” Chocking out as she tried to jump to her feet, but everything felt slow, he didn’t have a crazed look in his eye like she had seen before.
“Iris! We need to leave. They’ve sold you out here. They never had your back. The guards are coming right now to kill you. Come on!”
“Ethan, you hate me.” Iris couldn’t help but whisper, but her mind was frantic at the idea she was finally going to be killed.
“Come on!”
Then just as Iris was about to take his hand from the sofa it disappeared into thin air, smoke rising, and the room went black leaving her stood in utter confusion as to what had just happened. Touching her hand to her chest she could feel it was racing, the dread rising as she could only feel like something was majorly wrong right now. I don’t understand. Thinking to herself as she looked down at her hands only to see her usual pale complexion covered in blood, gasping she held out her hands in front of her and tried to shake it off but nothing was working.
“That’s my blood on your hands.”
Hearing the cool composed voice of her father ring out in the darkness as she stared at the blood on her hands shaking as all these insecurities started to ebb away at her. Telling her that she wasn’t good enough, that she was worthless and that nothing she could ever do would make up for everything she had done. Betraying her father, betraying Caspian and betraying the rebellion when it was for a good cause. That her mother would hate her if she was alive and could see what a disgrace to the family she had become.
“What did I say. Disgrace, I should kill you right now.”
Looking up from her bloodstained hands she could see her father stood there, a mangled corpse as that lasting image of him was burned into her memory. Eyes caught sight of a silver knife and before she could say anything it plunged into her.
Gasping for air as Iris woke with a start on the sofa before she could even fathom the feeling of being stabbed, chest heaving from whatever dreams well nightmares had plagued her that evening. Frowning to herself she glanced around seeing a slither of sunlight brighten the room and she let out a sigh realising it had to be morning and she had just made it all up in her head. I really need to see if there is something I can do for that. Iris grimaced rubbing her eyes sleepily from her rude awakening, at least it was a new day and she could hopefully see Cas again.
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