Avatar of The Irish Tree

Status

Recent Statuses

11 mos ago
Current @SaltSight Game was Astlibra: Revision. Found it on sale bundled with another game I've been wanting so I gave it a shot and got like, straight indie JRPG of the early 2000s injected into my veins.
3 likes
11 mos ago
Hate that strange ennui that hits after 100%'ing a really, really good game. Good time was had, but man am I glad it can't mess my sleep schedule up anymore.
6 likes
2 yrs ago
Rich people blood sports is how the Oscar's should always have gone. As a hot blooded american man I cant sleep at night without witnessing violence of some kind.
3 likes
3 yrs ago
So true. Anyways, play Lancer!
3 yrs ago
Final Fantasy: Stranger in Paradise is the funniest shit I've ever seen while also not being a bad game. Just crack open some cold ones with the boys, blare Limp Bizket, and Kill Chaos.

Bio

No longer an asshole!

Most Recent Posts

"This prophet of ours has never once been wrong before," Gram would say, a skeletal hand forming from a hatch in the back, carrying a tray of warm and fragrant herbal teas, a cup prepared for each of them. Gram would receive her's and sip upon it for a moment. "And, yes, if you don't wish to help we won't stop you. But at the same time, I won't be giving out charity to someone that can't pull their weight. After all, the fate of the world involves you, now. Especially since you're of a Devilish origin," Gram said, looking to Vani as Mammonie asked about her luggage and grabbed at her jubblies.

"Nope. It was just you, and we're the only ones that have been inside in...what, four hundred years?" Vani explained and asked at Gram, who nodded.

The carriage ride would continue, while Mammonie...or rather, Camilla, could feel a sense of connection to something exterior. The divide between character and player was gone...but as an avid player of MOFU, she'd vaguely see, upon looking at Vani and Gram closely...status markers. Or at least, something that was beginning to list information.

[Gram. Dragonfolk? Necromancer. Level Unknown. Kind of a bitch.]

[Vani. Elf. Paladin. Level Unknown. Has stared at your chest the entire time you searched for the Inventory screen]
Alice was dumbfounded, that even as her own IQ dropped, it was still watching Brandy's seemingly plummet with every word that left her mouth. "...Brandy, I'm fated to turn into a big dumb monster whenever there's a full moon out in full. This isn't hair dye and press-on nails," she said, much ruder sounding than usual. "But, if you insist, let's get going back to the guild hall..." Alice said, haughtily raising her nose and walking, shaking her sleeve free of Brandy's grasp before heading...in the complete wrong direction.

Looking back at Brandy, she said: "...Which way was it?" she asked, grabbing the rabbit and biting an entire leg off like it was nothing, chewing and swallowing it, fur and all. Alice was a whole lot less nice when it was this time of the month.
Well. Things were already going bad. Very bad. Insanely bad, even. So bad that Steppe Archer's entire posture froze up as she saw their lizard friend kick a ball of liquid and get his foot stuck in it. ...And now it was eating his leg. Off to a fantastic start!

"Fire would hurt him a lot more than the ice. Besides, if this thing is made of liquid, freezing it would mean that we can break it off of him," she would say, wondering if there was anything else she could do to slow the thing, or get it off entirely. But as it stood, she wasn't a mage, or an expert on sewer monsters. ...Also, the longer they waited, the longer it would be melting the flesh off of his leg.

No pressure or anything. "Big Red, are you alright?" she asked, wondering if this was as painful as it looked. She was certain that as it stood, fire would only either agitate it, or make it crawl up his body to escape. But if it was frozen, they could smash it to pieces!
At the "Double Dooch" comment, Alice didn't laugh...but her cheeks ballooned to almost double their size as she held in a MIGHTY snicker at that absolutely horrendous joke.

Also, wow, that was some strength to just *pop* that rabbit's head off. She wished she could have kept the horn, but making rabbit stew would have to suffice. "Thank you very much Sir, and if there are ever anymore, we'll be happy to take more jobs," Alice said, bowing her head to hide her bright red cheeks, embarrassed by her stomach outing her like a snitch. And Brandy, at being paid, seemed absolutely ecstatic.

But...Irresistible? Impossible? Alice wondered if Brandy knew what those words really meant...along with many others as Alice was left stunned by her calling them "de-flowered adventurers". "Um...that...doesn't mean that. That means we're not virgins," Alice said, trying to avoid the assertions about her stomach. Then...wait, was Brandy hitting on her. "T-T-T-Tussle!?" she asked. "I don't really swing that..." she started, before falling silent, staring up at the moving clouds overhead, shifting and parting to reveal the full moon overhead. "...Balls," she started, before she clutched her sides, growling as she said: "Brandy. Go back to town without me. Werewolves don't act right in full moons..." Already, her brown hair was taking on a silver hue to it, her claws turning from what had previously just been decently sharp looking nails turning into hardened things resembling actual claws. "I'll just...sleep in the woods. Good 'ol woods."
"No friends of anyone, graverobbers. Also, you won't be fighting a true "God", as you probably know them from your realm. Here, Gods are more...more or less just very powerful individuals," Gram said. "Even individuals who draw power through their faith in deities, such as Vani, more or less aren't channeling true Divinity."

Vani would look away, not exactly wanting to admit that. "That's not common knowledge, Lady Gram. But, yes. Basically, we're asking you to kill someone who's superhuman. Problem being, they're currently not even alive. We're working off of a prophecy from the most renowned Seer in the realm, Moria Strix." Vani would walk a bit ahead, the blinding snow giving way to the radiance that followed him from his spell showing Mammonie that there was a carriage being pulled by what appeared to be entirely skeletal horses, the carriage also matching Gram's personal aesthetic of black and white everything, split down the middle. Which was...kind of tacky.

"You don't need to agree if you don't feel like it. But we should at least get you out of this place and somewhere more...civilized," Gram would say, stepping into the carriage and offering Mammonie a hand to help her in. "After all, as far as we're aware, the only way to send you home would be that selfsame God's powers, channeled through an apparatus."

Vani didn't look particularly pleased about...any of this, really. Either from conscience or general dislike about having to kill a God, the elven paladin seemed reticent. But of course, Mammonie might not even care. Gram seemed to be all smiles and pleasantries, as if everything and every word was going as she willed it. The carriage was warm and comfortable, adorned with intricate small decor...and a skull. Like, that was a real human skull just above Gram's seat. In all likelihood, she was a necromancer of some caliber, given that the carriage had no driver at all, a mere snap of Gram's finger being all it took for it to begin moving rapidly.
Levia would curiously dig at the ground, smelling flakes of what appeared to be some sort of ore in a bit of rubble. Huh. It sure was...something. She wasn't quite sure what KIND of ore it was, given that her job was almost exclusively to break things instead of deeply analyzing them like some sort of geologist, but she was certain one of the brainier members of their merry band of misfits would be perfectly suited to the task of figuring out what to do with it.

Speaking of brainy, her skeletal coworker would give her new orders: To harvest the Bauxite and prepare it for transportation via the Cyber Skeleton's caravans that were going to be arriving to ship everything away. "Got it! We'll bleed the mountain dry, and let Lady Faetalis sleep easier," she would say, all the while packing power into her hands, not shaped into fists, but fully spread out, claws extending as she began furiously digging, a toxic cloud in the air from her constant re-poisoning of herself.

By the time the skeletons would arrive, a gargantuan divide had been made into the rocks around her, physically yanking ludicrous amounts of ore and rock, which she carefully divided with her mastery of destructive capabilities that lead to chunks of ore so massive, that any normal human blacksmith might drool at the thought of converting it into countless works of their craft. So massive that, embarrassingly enough, Levia had to cut them into smaller chunks just for the wagons to carry them off.

With the sun slowly rising over the horizon, Levia would remove the cap from her head, waving it as she approached Tungsten. "We did great, right Tungsten!?" The chimeric dragon was always generally cheerfull, but this dawn even moreso. She had finally served a meaningful purpose, wheras before her entire job was to basically be handed mediocre items to be crushed into the most basic of materials. But now, she'd finally had a chance to gather, explore, destroy, and aid the Guild in ways she never had before.

Despite her excitement however, it also couldn't be understated that even with Levia not directly assaulting a single living thing, the mere act of her presence with her need to poison herself via her own breath weapon also meant a huge amount of collateral. No rabbits were spared harmed in the production of Infactorium: A New 4Xpansion (Overlord RP)
At finally getting to hear the name of her savior, Cera scarcely have time to introduce herself before the boat started getting rocked by cannonfire. "I'm Cera...and I hope we aren't going to die here," she said frankly, as Kukui seemingly melted through the floorboards. Gathering up her still-unconscious wards, she would get them inside so that they would at least be safe from most of the cannonfire before she went back up deck to the imprisoned beast Fenrir.

She hoped that whoever owned this ship would arrive soon while there was still a ship to sail away with. Even if they were pirates, it was better than sticking herself back in a cell, waiting to get killed or to be auctioned off for the second time in her life. She eyed the wheel of the ship but quickly cast her eyes down, having absolutely no idea how to navigate. Then, the fatigue of it all hit her once again as she slumped against the railing, shuddering as she felt the gouges in her back. "I'm going to need a doctor of my own soon..."

Today was an immensely strange day in Cera's life. First she was kidnapped, then made to fight to the death, then ferried three people on her back while bleeding out from being attacked by a bird man. ...And boy was she feeling tired. And sleepy. The only thing keeping her awake at this point was the hail of cannonfire impacting the ship and the water around her. Dragging herself below deck, she would collapse once more, struggling to move her body while Kukui fought to keep the ship afloat.
At being told that, point blank, saving the world was going to cost her, Gram only had a smile and words to return, saying: "Thankfully, my treasury hasn't been emptied yet. And I assure you, wealth beyond measure is only the start for someone that saves the world."

Vani and Gram would lead the gilded woman forward, with Vani being surprised she could balance perfectly fine with all that...

Everything.

As they would exit the room that Mammonie had been inside, the dim ruin would be lit up in a brilliant blaze of luminance as Vani raised his hand, palm open and two fingers together raised. "Lumin," he said, before there was a ball of shimmering light trailing behind him. And then, the sight and stench that no ordinary person was prepared for would hit Mammonie...that of death. Of blood. Of long-since rot crawling its way back to the surface as soon as virgin senses were there for them to foul. Littering the ruin were countless half-rotted corpses, preserved in the cold with a fair number looking like very...very fresh corpses.

Gram would approach Mammonie and offer her a handkerchief without looking at her. "Its an intolerable stench in its own right. And part of the reason we've summoned you." Gram didn't seem all that particularly bothered by the bodies...likely because her and Vani had already seen them, and perhaps partaken in eliminating them. Gram wasn't certain if Mammonia was weak enough to vomit from something like this, but it was better to not take chances and have her vomit in the holy ruins. "In summary, the reason that we've summoned you here is because a God needs to remember how to die..." the draconic woman would say, stepping down from the last piece of a staircase leading out, crushing a skull that rolled under her heel.

"Before they restart the war that took the combined efforts of every other God in order to stop."
Alice, being the shareholder of the party's braincells, would gently pat Brandy's shoulder before saying: "Brandy, this is Dooch's daughter, most likely. Hello, we took a job from your father to take care of a...pest problem. One horned rabbit, to be precise."

Alice had no idea where Brandy had come from where people suddenly got sex changes in the middle of the day...though, she had heard there was some experimental research being done into an alchemical sex-change potion. Results on that were varied and often resulted in hormonal imbalance, but hey, progress! Either way, Alice thankfully had the nose of a true hunting dog, and could smell the difference as well as see it. Wheras Dooch smelled like decades of hard work and other masculine things, his daughter, while also a hard worker, definitely at least used a little something here and there to have a scent that was pleasant.

"Ohh, the jackalope Pa' hired some 'venturers for. Them's you?" she would ask, to which Alice said: "Mhm!"

"Lemme jus' go get him out here so you gals can be on yer way," the young orc would say, before heading inside. Alice would wait outside with Brandy, while the very-much-not-genderbent Mr. Dooch would arrive. "I don't know how you girls did it, but that there is the rodent we've been looking to have off our lands. Much obliged, ladies."

Alice would proudly present the rather beaten up looking horned hare, showing that they had in fact done the deed, though the actual head-removal might have to come later if Dooch wanted to keep it as a trophy. A slight gurgle would resound from Alice's stomach as well. "Um...I don't suppose you would mind if we kept everything below its neck? Kinda staked out for a long time waiting for it."
"...Wally?" Vani would question, confused on the girl getting his name wrong. But she did seem sincere, so...guess that was just going to have to slide.

Gram would present her with a mirror, a relatively mundane looking compact one with a brass casing. And, despite her well-wishing about tricks of the light, she could be 100% certain that was not her face.

"I understand that I haven't answered all of your questions yet, but those will be answered. Its just, you, as someone who has likely never been to this world would have no frame of reference. I could tell you where we are, what I do for work, my political position, but then you'd be asking questions we don't have time for. Unless, that is, you prefer sitting on freezing stone in the farthest North. But I can at least say what is going on. The world is in need of someone capable of preventing it from collapsing entirely."

The dragon woman would walk with her hands behind her back, while Vani waited to help Mammonnie to her feet, doing his damndest not to stare. ...A bit hard, admittedly, considering that she was not only a scantily clad buxom woman, but was also gold in a room filled with grey and brown stone. "I know a lot of this must be confusing but...we could really use your help. I don't know if anyone else can stop a Second Final War.," Vani said, as if that last ominous term meant anything.
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet