Myrisstra

It was rather strange, one might think, for a gardener to be preoccupied with grand matters of state--for instance, preservation of the geopolitical integrity of a country that they were not, as such, a citizen of. You'd certainly be right, and even more so for a normal gardener. Fortunately, Myrisstra was not a normal gardener by any stretch of the imagination. You see, normal gardeners tended to not be dark elves.

They also didn't have swords on their person. Now, shrinking away against the snack table after they were done signing up for whatever it is that had required their attention in the first place? That was a lot more to be expected of a gardener in such bizarre and somewhat intimidating company. Not so much of one who could put swords to deadly use, but...

That was the position Myrisstra found herself in: she'd put her name down on the first sheet she could get at, then gone to collect some snacks and substitute eating in favour of conversation. She was hoping that if she just kept focusing on the food and didn't look anyone in the eye, she'd be able to get through this entire social engagement without actually doing anything social, and from there set the tone for the entire adventure: around, and taking part, but never actually having to talk with anyone. From the elf's point of view, that would be wonderful.

Trakel bared his sparkling green jackal teeth in a grin watching the lady bury her insides in shredded turkey meats. 'Well, she certainly has enthusiasm for food but unless she's going to eat the royal guard that doesn't help much. Or... She could eat the royal guard...' he thought, imagining becoming this girl's mint-coated man cook. Two kitchen knives and a chef's cap would be a nice form for kidnapping.

Rushing over toward the demoness, Trakel jumped and changed form in midair. He latched onto the far side of Iris's turkey bone to shift as a blade with a bone handle. "So do you prefer stabby, smacky or shooty? To me you look the type that fires lightning from their eyes and fire from their mouth." he asked, changing forms to a mace head, crossbow and wand when needed. "Don't worry, I can help with that too in my own way."

Theodyn looked at the table far at the back of the room. Many people were there, just enjoying the food. Theodyn would've been content to simply watch from afar, but then he saw that there was punch. He had tasted many different snacks and drinks, but punch was one of the many things not available in the Vale. Curious, he dropped from the chandelier, landing (luckily) on his feet, and walked over to the snack table.The large crowd around the table didn't seem to bother him, although he had nothing to talk about, as usual. He began staring at the bowl of punch and fantasizing about what it tasted like. Theodyn had essentially forgotten about everyone else in the vicinity at this point, and would likely continue to stare until his fantasies ended.

Miri’s gears were grinded when most of the would-be adventurers prefered the snack table over her speech full of useful information. Did these people have any manners? Ugh, mortals. She was about to cast a curse of stinkiness on the food but a little fairy interrupted her with a question.

RolePlayerRoxas said
"Hey, Book Person!" Morgana called to Miri cheerfully, landing softly upon the table, between the hats, "how many picture books is a Princess worth? Also, I'm not a thief! And lastly, when I steal a Princess, what's the best place to hide one?"

“My name is Miri!” Miri replied, doing her best to suppress acrimony. “I dunno, can you really put a price on a pretty princess? If you wanna know about my tome, I can tell ‘ya it’s enchanted for me so its not really useful for other people. Unless you wanna know what I know. As for hiding them… just bring them back to me. I’ll take care of them, fufufu~”

DreadPirate said
Richard then hopped closer to Miri who was dressed, well let's just say Richard didn't want to be a frog at the moment. "Excuse me madame?" He said finishing with a croak. " I know I don't look like much, but if you wouldn't mind kissing me I can explain my predicament with these rules a bit better." He croaked.

*smack* Miri gave the frog a slap across the face. “I-I’m not that kind of girl~” she said with feigned embarrassment. “I’m adding a new rule: 6) No frogging the princesses. Anything else you wanted to ask?”

After she was done with the frog, Miri took to the votes in the hats. It didn’t look like everyone voted, and somehow a chicken leg and some guacamole worked its way in there. So she just tossed it aside and rolled out a 24-sided dice to decide. “Ok now, listen up…” as she said so, the quest-takers continued to mingle around the snack table. “I said LISTEN UP! Thank you. Team Super-Awesome-the-Best is going after Lor-yan the tough in Warrior’s Kingdom, bring some band-aids I hear she’s a handful. Team Better-than-theirs is going after Rose the fair in Normal Kingdom, should be an ordinary kidnapping on your guy’s part. Oh yes, and one more thing…” Miri stepped towards Arn, handing him a crystal ball the size of a softball. “I’m going with team Better-than-theirs. Take this so we can keep in touch. Don’t forget to charge the batteries.”

Outside there was two wagons waiting for them. Each was pulled by two large, raptor-like flightless birds. Basically, big chickens. After mounting up, both teams snuck out in the night, under the occupying troop’s nose. By the time the sun came up, they were long gone.

Team Super-Awesome-the-Best

Thru the night the adventurers rode on the wagon, stumbling on the bumpy road. The grand sphere behind them raised itself, shining radiance upon the Hiy-on mountains. A majestic sight it was, worthy of a selfie. The journey to the mountain’s foot did not take very long, merely a day it seemed. Along the way they randomly encountered some slimes, nothing that couldn’t be handle with a rolled up newspaper and squirt bottle. The trail they followed grew wary and eventually vanished under dirt and foliage. The single path leading up the mountains was narrow and plagued with fallen boulders from rockslides. There was no way the wagon was fitting thru. Miri contacted the team via crystal ball, expecting such turn of events. “Oh, the road’s closed you say? Well, you can try to move the rocks. It might take some time, and the golems might not like it. The other option is to use the old mines.” Following her vague and hardly helpful instruction, the team was lead to a huge stone door carved into the side of the mountain. Ancient runes of a long forgotten language embossed in the door was barely visible under a century of dirt and dust caked on its surface.

“Hold on, let me use my tome translator. Hmm, it looks like a riddle lock, the door will open once the three answers are said aloud. The three riddles are:”

I have rivers without water,
Forests without trees,
Mountains without rocks
Towns without houses.
What am I?

I turn my head and you may go where you want.
I turn it again, you will stay till you rot.
I have no face, but I live or die
by my crooked teeth
Who am I?

Two brothers we are, great burden we bear
By which we are bitterly pressed.
In truth we may say
We are full all the day
But empty we go to our rest.
What am I?

“Hmm, there’s something else at the bottom. It says ‘don’t ruin the fun and use the internet’ whatever that means. Well, the choice is yours. Take the road or the mines.”

Team Better-than-theirs

Fields of flowers smiled as they were kissed by the warmth of sunlight. A sea of green grass and shallow hills stretched almost endlessly, split by the modern road inlaid with smooth stones. In the distance the tiny shape of the stone castle can be made out. There was nothing of note about any of it, the kingdom was about as ordinary as any could get. Miri sat on the front seat, applying sunscreen and working on her tan. “Anyone bring a rope? I think Princess Rose lives in a tower. That’s a normal place for a princess, right?”

The river ahead isn’t too wide or too narrow, isn’t too deep or too shallow. It was the most normal river imaginable, with an ordinary stone bridge over. On top of the bridge, seven men stood wearing an assortment of leather and fur armor and equipped with weapons ranging from maces to swords. A sign before the bridge read “Bandit Bridge: Fee 99 Gold Pieces” One of the men approached the wagon, wearing heavy steel armor a size too large for him, and carrying a tiny iron dagger. “We’re the Backroad Brigands! You can pass for 99 Gold Pieces… per person.”

Still lounging back, Miri peaked over the rim of her sunglasses at the bandits. “Haha, more like Bratty Brigands! Right guys?” she nudged her elbow playfully at Theodyn. Suddenly six more bandits popped out of the bushes behind the wagon. “Oh…” Opening her coin purse, she counted exactly five copper pieces. “Do you take checks?”

After Miri called Malakaus to attention, Team Super-Awesome-the-Best were told to head towards the Warrior Kingdom. "Yes! Awesome. This will be fun." Malakaus could imagine all the fights and adventures he'd have there, pitting his mettle against other warriors. Sure he might not be the biggest or the strongest amongst them, but he liked to think he was worthy as a fighter. He left with the rest of his team on the chocobo bird-drawn wagons as they head towards the lands of Hiy-on. For a place known for war, it was quite beautiful. He brought a post card that he'd send back home to his parents for this adventure. Along the way they fought some slimes, but aside from gumming up the wheels of the wagon with their bodies, Malakaus and his crew didn't have a problem fighting them.

Soon they were at the base of the mountain, blocked by giant rocks. He got out of the wagon and was considering just trying to climb over them, but than Miri mentioned the golems. He wanted a fight, sure, but no need to head towards danger like an idiot. Plus, he only had his flail as a blunt weapon, which he doubts would be effective against the golems. Soon they were led to a different entrance, which made him considerably think about fighting golem.s "Riddles...." A magically sealed door that only allows smart people. Like most riddles the ones presented were vague, and they couldn't use this 'Internet", whatever that was. Malakaus did try to open the door himself, but they wouldn't budge no matter how much force he put to it. Giving up, he stepped back and looked towards the riddles, trying to guess what they could mean.

I have rivers without water,
Forests without trees,
Mountains without rocks
Towns without houses.
What am I?

Malakaus wrapped his head around this one. He remembered back in his school years about how bodies have blood that sort of flowed like water, and the rest of the riddle he just filled in with what he knew. Forest was like hair, mountains could be teeth or... Gendered things. Towns could be civilizations of those little things in his body that fights viruses and stuff. He liked to think of them as knights in his body fighting against demonic invaders. "The body." Was his answer to the first riddle.

I turn my head and you may go where you want.
I turn it again, you will stay till you rot.
I have no face, but I live or die
by my crooked teeth
Who am I?

Now this one was just weird. The first thing that came to the orc's mind was a sign, like the ones that would tell you where to go, but trying to match that up with the rest of the riddle made no sense. He felt that "Crooked Teeth" had something to do with it, and for some reason he thought the awnser was a comb. But that was also a dumb answer, so he didn't say it. "Maybe it has something to do with a grave..." Unable to come up with an answer, he skipped it to look at the next riddle.

Two brothers we are, great burden we bear
By which we are bitterly pressed.
In truth we may say
We are full all the day
But empty we go to our rest.
What am I?

For some reason the first thing Malakaus thought of was a stomach. Full as in having enough to eat, but when it gets empty you... Go to sleep? No, if Malakaus had an empty stomach, he'd go eat some more. That didn't make sense, so he put it aside for a more serious guess. Malakaus looked towards the skies, thinking that somehow this riddle might have to do something with the moon and sun. He remembered a story his mother told him along ago about how the moon and sun were siblings, but that story had the sun the brother and the moon the sister, not two brothers. "Maybe the sky and the earth...?" Malakaus looked around the door for any hints to the riddles that might help, maybe images or little scribbles that would tell him the answer. He definitely knew if he could figure out the answer, he'd carve it into a rock next to the door.

Morgana nodded brightly, her mind only really processing two things; Princesses were priceless, and thus... wait, did that mean they were too good for money, or two useless for it? She'd need to check her notes on that term later. But that book was totally worth a lot, if only Miri could use it! That would make her treasure horde much more valuable! Probably!

After, Miri rolled a dice and, not long afterward, the two groups went their separate ways. Morgana, who remained airborne for most of the journey with the wagon. It was all really quite exciting, going out to steal something people generally never stole! She was going to become so famous and awesome! Probably.
Naturally, the little fairy spent much of her time scouting her team-mates for anything that looked valuable. Might as well get some extra practise before going for something like a Princess, right? And with everyone right there... and as a bonus, Miri and, more importantly, her book was with them! Why she kept talking into a ball was anyone's guess, but hey, book!

Eventually, however, Morgana came to rest inside the wagon, her rather miniscule height making her liable to be crushed by anyone who so much as shifted position, but she she seemed less concerned with that, and more with getting a quick nap.
The lack of motion soon afterward caused the fairy to blearily open her eyes, wondering what was wrong. Had they made it to a Kingdom yet? Oh, was it time to steal things?!
Morgana immediately fluttered into the air, looking around excitedly. Huh, sure was a lot of tough-looking guys around. Slightly confused, Morgana turned to her team, "So, uh, are these the Princesses? They don't look all that valuable to me."

The Wyvern pounced towards the deer, but it skittishly dashed away. He chased after it slowly. It had been so long since he had last ate, he had to eat something, anything... And this deer had caught his attention. Vulviinkonahrik let out a blast of flame, which managed to hit the deer and knock it to the floor. Like a Komodo Dragon, he bolted forwards and fell upon his prey, tearing it's neck out with his teeth and quickly devouring it, tearing parts of it's body and gulping them down his black maw. It felt so good to taste food again, after all these years! He glanced up to the boundless black sky, and licked his lips, turning and walking away from the scene of the kill and heading towards the meeting place... Before realising he had been left behind as he watched the wagons move away. "Aam?!" His eyes widened, before he sighed and followed after the wagons, picking one and trudging after it.

When it came to a stop in the early hours of the morning, the Wyvern was a half mile behind. Eventually, he caught up and read the words that were written on the side. 'Team Super-Awesome-The-Bests Wagon.' Well, he was Super awesome and was the best, so it was a very fitting wagon for him to follow. He looked to the other adventurers and gave a wide, toothy grin that probably looked more like an aggressive snarl. "I am sorry that I am late. It refused to let me eat it easily." He said, as if he expected them to know what he meant, he looked to the runes on the wall, and nodded, working on the riddles in his mind as his head tilted "Is the first a map? It has rivers drawn in ink, not water, mountains drawn in ink, not rock. The Second I am unsure of, perhaps a lock. When you lock a door, you are trapped, when you unlock it, you are free. The tumblers are teeth, and if you break the tumblers you can open the door and have thus 'killed' the lock... Is the third twin peaks? They could be 'bearing the weight of the sky" He said, as he read them over slowly

The elf had made it thus far not saying anything, but when it came to the riddles... well, she didn't get all that much practice, but her normal job gave her plenty of time to mull these over once she heard them--and it wasn't as if she hadn't lived long enough to hear a hell of a lot of the things, without being so old she was used to riddles in a foreign tongue.

Once the wyvern--scary thing that it was, started giving answers, she listened. Unlike the orc, he seemed to be... somewhat on the right track, at least at first. Further on, though... "Map ith right... but... key, not lock."

The gardener shook her head. A lock was close, but it was getting things backwards: it wasn't the lock that you turned, and the lock rather did have a face. Plus, of course, the 'live and die' thing--skeleton key. Plus not all locks turned in the first place, and some didn't have tumblers, so that was hardly it...

Having said that much, the dark elf clammed up, and stopped saying anything further, regardless of whether she knew the answer or not.

When Vivien had heard that his team would be going to the Warrior Kingdom, he had mentally prepared himself for a fight. After all, kidnapping royalty from a place that called itself the Warrior Kingdom was certainly going to be no easy feat, even if the team had some semblance of a plan. However, he was unpleasantly surprised by the riddle-locked door his team came across. He had never liked word puzzles, and while most of the disdain he felt towards them could be attributed to his overall unwillingness to speak, he in fact disliked them because he found them to be total wastes of time.

He hopped off the cart and walked towards the door, standing beside the orc - Malakaus, was it - as he read the riddles one by one. All of them looked to be just a bunch of random words put together into something that vaguely made sense, but Vivien decided to give solving them a try anyway. At the very least, he would look helpful and not appear to be the dead weight of the team. The first two riddles stumped Vivien, but the last one looked interesting enough for him to devote more brainpower towards solving it.

Two brothers we are, great burden we bear
By which we are bitterly pressed.
In truth we may say
We are full all the day
But empty we go to our rest.
What am I?

The first thing that came to Vivien's mind echoed Malakaus' suggestion, but while the earth had a great burden to bear, Vivien was hard pressed to think about what sort of burden the sky had. Besides, only the earth was 'bitterly pressed'. The sky was just...There. Focusing on the bit about the items being 'brothers', Vivien thought about items that were similar to one another or came in pairs. Tapping his chin - or the bit of scarf that was over his chin - with a finger, he then tried to narrow the list of items in his head to those that fitted the requirements of the riddle. "Could it-" He began. but then the words all collided with one another somewhere in his throat and came out like a meaningless gurgle. Clearing his throat and pulling down his scarf, he said, "For the last riddle, uh, I was wondering if perhaps the answer is-"

Once again, he was cut off, but this time he could take solace in knowing that it was of no fault of his own. Instead, it was because a wyvern chose that moment to make itself known. "Wyvern!" Vivien shouted out, his voice breaking slightly, and pulled his crossbow from its sheath behind his shoulder. With a touch of a button, the metal limbs sprang into position and readied the pre-loaded bolt for firing. Just before he pulled the trigger, however, the wyvern spoke, apologizing for being late for some reason. It was all very baffling to Vivien, but at least it did not seem to want to eat them. It was intimidating, sure, but it seemed friendly.

Vivien sheepishly collapsed his crossbow and returned it to its sheath. "Sorry about that," He said to the Wyvern, though he wondered if the creature could hear his soft voice. "I, uh, hope you understand. Just being cautious." With that, Vivien turned back to the door and cleared his throat, hoping that the embarrassing situation would somehow clear itself up. "As I was saying," Vivien said to Malakaus. "For the last riddle, I was, um, wondering if perhaps the answer is 'Shoes?' They are similar, like twin brothers, and they are bitterly pressed by the wearers. In the day, they are full with feet but at night they are empty."

Theodyn had ceased his staring when everyone was yelled at to listen. Team Better-than-theirs was going to Ellorn, the normal kingdom. This pleased Theodyn, as he would be able to 'cause a disturbance' for real this time. He followed the rest of Team Better-than-theirs outside, where he climbed into his team's chariot, and waited for it to leave. By the time the chariot had left, Theodyn had fallen asleep.
And he remained asleep until he was nudged awake by Miri, surprised, he opened his eyes to see several bandits in front of the cabin he never managed to hear what the bandits were saying, and they had their weapons drawn. Theodyn put 2 and 2 together and assumed that they were going to attack. While he was thinking about what he was going to do should any movements be made, he found himself staring at the bandit in large steel armour with a stern expression. As Theodyn assumed him to be the leader.

Suddenly Trakel was commanded to halt his shenanigans by the lady in front wearing mostly her own skin as her dress. Only two words in and he already didn't care. The job was simple, steal some defenseless little girls that in normal circles wouldn't be in an arranged marriage at five and maybe some treasures along the way. He listened for names only, considering that even with a simple job you have to know who you're kidnapping. For the rest he mimicked a hand on Iris's staff making 'blah blah blah' motions. During this he pondered why he normally can't walk around without passing out of fatigue but he's been moving and shifting around constantly since he barged in here. Then their chicken drawn carriages arrived. He considered them cute and nasty at once, then realized he was sitting on someone who probably envisioned them on a rotisserie.

"Try not to eat them on the drive over, huh?"

~~

The first half of the trip was fairly uneventful, the most excitement came from a bird flying into the back of the carriage before politely leaving. It might as well have said 'Excuse me kind sirs and ma'ams, you wouldn't happen to know which way South is? My chirpy little brother mistook this gentle summer day for winter migration.' It didn't even have the common decency to defecate inside to cause a stir. Trakel very much wished he could sleep though it but he hasn't done that in fourty or so years. Then came a bridge carrying people who wanted money. Ah money, the most common instigator of violence has saved Trakel once again.

"Hey, I can pose as the toll money. More than enough toll money actually." said Trakel, making sure the bandits did not hear him. The idea came to him from experience, this was alongside the dartboard scheme. He actually had done similar antics in many bars for about two years, as he used to support a con artist. They would rip off patrons in their free time. It probably shouldn't be surprising since he's off nabbing royalty right now for the hell of it.

Karin had stayed mostly quiet during the journey thus far, which was actually quite odd for her. She was more the type of person to constantly be talking to everybody about whatever, but she had been tired lately. It must have had something to do with that stupid curse; it was always getting in her way. The only thing that made her feel better about her condition was how much worse off the slimes had it. Heh! Those were even weaker than her current body was! You wouldn't see her running in fear of a couple of newspapers! She was was too cool for that!

...Oh god, how far had she fallen? Was this how badly off she thought she was now?
Stop thinking like that! I might not have a tough body, but I make up for that with my skill and general coolness! I shouldn't be compared to those slimes!

She shook off these thoughts as they arrived at the blocked path. That woman, Miri, gave very vague directions as to what should be done about it, but at least they had options. Thank goodness for that, too. She would be absolutely useless with moving those rocks. At the door, she remained quiet, thinking about the answers to the riddles.

"Rivers without water? Towns without houses? Forests without trees? Books have all of those. The one about the teeth..." She started thinking about objects with teeth - combs, gears, dentures, and the like - when she heard some of the other suggestions the others came up with. The one about the lock seemed pretty logical, but the elf who suggested the key made a lot of sense when she thought about the riddle a bit more. She turned to the guy talking to... Malakaus, she thought he called himself? "That answer with the shoes is pretty brilliant. And I guess what that other guy...err, wyvern, said about the map is about the same as the book..." She mumbled to nobody in particular.

Iris was busy chewing on the bone as the talking cat spoke again, and changed into another form. She was intrigued by this even if she didn't particularly show it. When she was asked whether she liked shooty, stabby, or smacky, she turned her eyes to briefly gaze at the talking cat. "Silly kitty." She replied while continuing to chew on the bone. "I can't shoot lightning from my eyes! If I could, I'd have made fish sticks out of miss squid lady over there!" she almost too happily replied. Before she could elaborate, however, she was interrupted by some person. Ah right. She did sign up after all, that meant she probably had some obligation to whatever it was she was doing. However, just as she was about to get into one of the carriages, her eyes lingered on the woman named Miri for only a brief second. Whatever she had seen was quickly replaced by envisioning the large chickens pulling the carriage on a rotisserie.

---

The ride was relatively uneventful for Iris. She rather enjoyed the calmness of the whole situation. Perhaps this was a good thing coming along with them. As long as she got free food, she'd be happy. More or less. When Miri posed a question about rope, Iris quickly chimed in. "I don't have rope, but I can make an a skeleton dance!" What that had to do with anything, was completely unknown. It seemed to make sense to her, in whatever twisted logic she used at least.

Iris didn't even seem to notice the brigands. If she did, she didn't even acknowledge them.

Malakaus was just about to start carving into the stone work when his allies actually came up with some pretty smart answers. Sure a heck of a lot more intelligent that what he was thinking. When the dragon showed up (Well, Wyvern, but it's not like Malakaus knew the difference) showed up he was excited that they could skip this boring question game and get to fighting, but it looked like the dragon was on their side. The orc had mixed feelings about this; on one hand The Super Awesome team gets a dragon! But on the other hand, they were still stuck dealing with this riddle. Still, the dragon did give his suggestions, which were sound. For the first riddle he suggested a map. Malakaus could see how it would work; people would often draw rivers, forest, mountains, and towns on maps, but without any of the actual stuff on it unless it was one of those magical three dimensional maps. The second suggestion was a key. The dragon at first suggested it was a lock, but the dark elf corrected him staying it should be a key. You turn the key one way to leave, and you turn it the other way to lock, and it has teeth. Usually. Made sense to Malakaus. The last person to suggest answers was some human he hasn't seen before. Actually, he did see him at the meeting, but he didn't seem to really stick out. At least he was smart though, so the orc didn't think badly of him. Though the idea that shoes were the answer seemed odd. But everyone was pretty sure of their answers, and no one else had any other suggestions. With the answers in mind, Malakaus walked over towards the doors.

Unsure of how they were suppose to give the door the answers (Just say them out loud?) he decided that he would just recite each riddle, followed by their answer.

I have rivers without water,
Forests without trees,
Mountains without rocks
Towns without houses.
What am I?

For the first riddle Malakaus went with the dragon's suggestion. "You are a Map."

I turn my head and you may go where you want.
I turn it again, you will stay till you rot.
I have no face, but I live or die
by my crooked teeth
Who am I?

This time he went with the dark elf's suggestion for the key. "You are a key."

Two brothers we are, great burden we bear
By which we are bitterly pressed.
In truth we may say
We are full all the day
But empty we go to our rest.
What am I?

And now he went with the human's idea of shoes. It still seemed strange to him, but it was worth a shot. What's the worse that could happen? "You are shoes."

Vulviingkonahrik made a small gesture with his wings, which seemed to be similar to a shrug given what he said next
"I have not seen a lock in an age, let alone used one. I will agree with your reasoning, as it is the case you have likely seen more locks in your short span than I have in a life time." He said, eying the Dark Elf with his old, green eyes. Then, slowly, he turned his head to regard the human with the crossbow. At first he seemed slightly amused and opened his mouth and began to speak in the same tone as before... Until he realised it was a crossbow and not a sword that had been pointed at him. Suddenly his wings slowly began to turn an fiery orange, and he let out a short roar "Point that evil boltshot at me again, and I will have myself a snack!" He snarled, his jaws snapping at the air viciously, between his teeth still hung pieces of the deeds corpse from earlier that day "And what are these, shoes... What little mechanisms are these shoes, something else to ground the skyborn?" He let out a roar, and for a moment it looked as though he was about to attack the man, but a moment later he slinked back to a normal posture, save the bright orange wings and a glare of pure anger towards the crossbow as the man shouldered it, his gaze softened though his wings remained their fiery orange "I apologise, little one... That weapon reminds me of darker times." From the way he said weapon, it was clear he saw Crossbows as the spawn of Satan or something, to be destroyed wherever they were found. "At least you named me true." He murdered. What a wonderful start to the journey this was, he thought, I've likely made all these little ones wish to mount my head on a wall...

The Chief Maid had sat quietly during the ride, occasionally checking her things for necessities. She had a bit of everything with her; first aid kit, previsions, weapons, camping gear, various books and tomes, fishing gear, a map. That was just a tip of the things she had. The last thing she checked on was her twenty-sided dice; the very thing that decided her fate. And soon her fate would be tested; they ran into a bandit bridge. Miri, their party leader of sorts, taunted the bandits but than quickly became meek when she discovered that she didn't have much money on her. She heard Trakel suggest that he could pass off as the money they needed, but The Chief Maid had her own idea. She rolled to Bluff.

"Gentlemen, surely you can see that we are merely refugees of war. We have nothing of value on us. There is no need to waste time trying to squeeze water from a stone, or money from us." The Chief Maid let her natural charisma flow, her voice soothing and alluring, but also firm. She leaned out of the wagon and showed off some of her more... Appealing assets, but kept her tentacles (And some of the knives hidden within them) out of sight of the bandits. In the event that they still will resort to violence, The Chief Maid was not going to allow herself to be caught off guard.

Arn felt like he was the right leader for the group he was assigned. It had all in all a lack of humans which was something he was comfortable with. In fact he was more interested in their stories than he was in his fellow humans. He enjoyed their company as they walked forth to their first target. It hadn't been the path he had voted for, but he wasn't petty enough to share that or have it worry them. Every nation was on their list. The order they went in was simply subjective to each persons desires. His group seem to like to take a hit in the nose and strike back rather than dodge and strike. Fine by Arn. He may fight like an elf, but he had his share of human pride branded in him by his dad. While they slipped into the night he constantly stayed in the back as he watched his team maneuver the shadows.

When the town was behind them he gave himself a proper introduction. He felt compelled to provide some encouragement to his team. He told them he had been asked to lead them and that he was happy to answer the call. He also had their names memorized by morning and was happy he was able to pronounce them though rudimentary in the Orc's name he was still able to say it in one breath by the afternoon of their first day out of town. The time spent after they split from the other group was mostly spent traveling in reasonable silence. Since his time with the elf's had taught him tracking Arn was in the front so he could identify markers left from patrols and help the team avoid any unnecessary attention. Several days later and the team was met with the one thing he hadn't expected.

"Great a brain teaser..." He said looking at the riddles with a look of a man who just lost his last dollar in a poker match. Riddles were never his strong suit. Especially when it came to his villages humor. Joke Killer was a nickname he held for a few summers after so many of the new jokes had gone over his head. Thankfully he was better understanding of Elven humor; however, that is because theirs was based around natural things. Arn remained silent as he listened to his teammates begin to think through the riddles. He heard several ideas that made sense to him. He figured he could be of some help elsewhere. "I'll be back." He said as he walked back on the track they had found for a few hundred feet.

"Thhhhhhffffp! Thhhhffffpp!" Arn called out a few times and then a few times more. He stopped short as he began to listen around him. A few moments later the same call came back almost as an echo only it seemed more strict in tone. Arn smiled as he made the call two more times. "Thhhhhhffffp! Thhhhffffpp!" Again it got a call back only this time it was closer and obviously moving towards him. The young man pulled an arrow from his quiver and watched the direction the call was coming from. A moment later the sound of wings could be heard as a massive waterfowl flew over the trees and into his sights. Arn let fly an arrow that flew straight and true right into the bird. It seemed to go limp and fall instantly towards the ground. Picking up his kill the leader returned to his team. "The best part of dinner goes to whoever opens the door."

Konica said
Miri gave the frog a slap across the face. “I-I’m not that kind of girl~” she said with feigned embarrassment. “I’m adding a new rule: 6) No frogging the princesses. Anything else you wanted to ask?”

Richard rubbed his cheek with his webbed hand. He was slightly insulted at the new rule but I mean it wasn't like he was going to be a frog when he did what he did best. Well maybe if there is a frog princess... Which would be sort of a paradox really because of Richard's condition. I guess either way no real "frogging" would be done.
"Err... No ma'am, I guess some other lady will have to do." He then hopped away and waited for the votes to be counted. Richard was really hoping for something besides the normal kingdom, because what's exciting about something you've trained to do? Richard crossed his froggy fingers but it ended up being useless when they discarded votes and rolled a die. He scoffed as his team received the normal kingdom. Just his luck, well off to the wagon with him.

---

Richard had been riding comfortably at the feet of all the others just pondering if he knew princess Rose or not. He had met so many it was hard to remember them all, however many of them didn't know about his "amphibian condition". That would've put a huge elephant in the room, and Richard was allergic to elephants. His tongue swelled and his skin was invaded with blotches, not fun for anybody. The suddenly the cart stopped and Richard immediately jumped up to the top rail of the wagon to see what was going on.

This was not good, he didn't bring any money. And he'd rather die than give up his crown, it would take some mighty fine persuasion to convince him to give it up. Doing the only thing he knew how he jumped into he middle of the wagon and croaked as loud as he could.
"Quick!" he shouted with a croak following. "Somebody kiss me! I will explain after!" He didn't mean for it to sound urgent but he figured if they thought he had a plan he might have more of a chance of getting kissed. Richard didn't really have a plan except run, which he couldn't outrun anybody as a frog. Well maybe he could jump into the shirt pocket of someone if all these women weren't into the idea of kissing a frog.

"Thhhhhhffffp! Thhhhffffpp!"

As that imitation of a waterfowl's mating call sounded through the forest, it wasn't just a mere fat bird that responded, but that of a Mai-Rizzle Peony, a majestic winged horse with a wild rainbow mane, sparkling with the magical power of friendship. It was the perfect companion to its rider, a blue-haired angel in a dark suit. Descending from the heavens as a light breeze tousled her sleek, sea-colored hair, she dismounted in an elegant leap, the gilded tails of her coat rising and then falling dramatically with her entrance. From her bag of holding, she produced a gleaming, red apple, still wet from the cold water that it was rinsed from. The princely girl stroked the side of the Mai-Rizzle Peony and fed the winged horse its treat before sending it off.

It was only after the awe-inspiring mount went to the skies once more, merging with a bright blue cloud, that she took her bearings. She had been here before, still recognizing the name of the mountain that she saw on the world map. The face of the mountain was familiar, unchanged, yet the vegetation seemed to have evolved. And there were also these runes on the side. Readable, of course, but still...she guessed that a wizard or witch must have gotten bored one day and sealed off a cave system of the mountain. It was quite an avant-garde riddle-lock as well, for, while it sounded poetic, didn't use any phrases that were exceedingly abstract or plain nonsensical.

And then, of course, there were the group of princess-kidnapping criminals that she was sent to monitor and assist. The face of crime, it appeared, had grown quite diverse over the centuries. From young, fluffy girls to manly orcs to warrior women, it all looked rather eccentric. And elves too. Who would have thought that only a millennium was sufficient to turn such an artist, gentle, loving race into a bunch of bandits, working alongside orcs?

At the very least, she was prepared for such oddness already. The Kingdom of Bur-something must be quite strange, for so many people to only have one lover, or, gods forbid, be living forever alone.

Nevertheless, she brought herself into a traditional male show of courtesy towards her new companions, first thumping her left breast with her right fist, then flicking her bangs with the same hand, and finally spinning around once, drawing a rose from the bag of holding, before offering that flower to the closest lady in the vicinity.

“You are the Team Super-Awesome-the-Best, the princess-kidnappers venturing into the Lands of Ni-Yan, yes? I am Princess Kalri-Qua, eldest daughter of the late King of Bishies, Yuu-Rito, and the sole surviving member of the Dynasty of Moe. As I have a debt to Miri, I shall be partaking in your criminal activities. So, as they say...”

<<Tu-tu-ru~ Kalri-Qua, Level 99999999 Formerly Comatose Harem Prince(ss), has joined your party~!>>

Team Super-Awesome-The-Best

Karin stared at the flower, very surprised at the appearance of this...um...she wasn't sure, actually. Part of her was saying that this was a flamboyant (if perhaps a bit odd to her) male, but another part of her was shouting in her head that this person was clearly female. Either way, he/she actually was very attractive. Not that she cared or anything! It was a simple observation!
A little too confused to think clearly, she actually accepted the rose before realizing that it was probably a way of flirting and that she probably wasn't the best person to take it. Unable to decide what to do with it, though, she just held on to it. She'd slip it into someone else's possession later.

"Well, that was quite an entrance. You're a bit late to the party, but you haven't really missed much. And I guess Miri already filled you in, so that's good." She crossed her arms and fixed her posture, adopting a strong stance and somewhat trying to emulate the noble looking princess in front of her. "You may call me Karin if you wish. At least, that's what everyone else is calling me now, so I don't much mind if you do."

The change in stance didn't really do much for her in her current form. It never had since she became like this, but it remained a habit no matter how much like a living doll she had become. She was still a warrior in spirit.