Njorne, I looked at your CS. Personality and Bio are fine as they are, and the equipment is pretty cool. The only problem is that it's a bit OP for a starting character's equipment. I have two ways to fix this. The first is to simply start without most of them and acquire/create them later on as you gain more levels since the parameter requirements to wield them will probably be too high for a new character. The other is to start with all or most of them in a primitive state, ie. they don't start with all of the abilities suggested. The way you'd get them up to top performance is through skills you acquire later. That will make a bit more sense once skills are presented, which will hopefully be before I go to sleep tonight.
Another note for everyone (which I'll add to the OP under the new section "Lore"), Mana is something that is more of a form of energy than anything else. It's not tangible in its natural form, only taking shape when a human uses their ability to control their mana to create something. In other words, there's no naturally-occurring "Mana Crystals". There are, however, special ores that don't do much on their own but conduct Mana extremely well and can be charged to contain and store mana like a battery.