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[OOC] Dragon Age: Origins (Remix) Page 7

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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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Oh, okay I just don't know how to post any other way, but I see what you mean
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Too Old 4 This
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Automaton said
Oh, okay I just don't know how to post any other way, but I see what you mean


In creative writing class the first thing you should hear on day one is 'show don't tell.' It's like one of the mantras of writers up there with 'may plot be with you' and 'never introduce a bomb you don't intend to explode'. It mainly exists for the purpose of avoiding 'passive voice' but there's a host of other reasons. For the RP, though, avoiding it is more about removing an opportunity for metagaming and heightening immersion by making the limited perspectives of the characters match more accurately the limited perspectives of the players. In other words, if it works you feel a bit more like your character and bit less like someone writing the character.

Don't mistake me harping on it for some kind of warning. I totally understand slipping into omniscient voice and I will do it too, if I haven't already. I'm just trying to make sure people remember, because you're right many RPs are done in passive voice which would make sense... if the RPs were set on Betazed.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by PerniciousIntent
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I should get a post up today around noon est.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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It's cool 2old, I've never taken a writing class so thank you for teaching me a little about creative writing. Also I edited my post.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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Automaton said
It's cool 2old, I've never taken a writing class so thank you for teaching me a little about creative writing. Also I edited my post.


Also, next week might be very hectic in terms of work, so I probably won't b on much.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by PerniciousIntent
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Alright, my first post is finally up! How'd I do, GM? I tried my hardest to included nothing but observable facts, as I believe that's the gist of what were trying to do. :B
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Too Old 4 This
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@rpg101 Heads up, post directed at your character

@Wired I like your little subplot there. I'll sometimes intercede in these and pick up an NPC, but not always. Sometimes it'll just be up to you. This is one of those occasions due to how much is going on.

PerniciousIntent said
Alright, my first post is finally up! How'd I do, GM? I tried my hardest to included nothing but observable facts, as I believe that's the gist of what were trying to do. :B


Yeah it looks good. Remember I don't mind if you write from a perspective (like a dwarf's posts which obsessed over the vastness of the sky because he's lived underground his whole life). Just no verbatim thoughts or explicit feelings.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by PerniciousIntent
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I shall keep that in mind in the future
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Zordon
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Sorry guys. I started a new job and such, so haven't really been on. Give me a chance to read up on the IC and I'll work on a post.

Edit: Posted. Also, can I just say that not telling what is going on in my characters mind is proving harder than I thought. It's pretty much instinctual.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by PerniciousIntent
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I hadn't actually meant for her to stink xD. Just her breath
At least her concentration skill is useful after all lol. I hadn't originally planned to start her off so sick, but if they had traveled a few weeks I figure that it would have progressed.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Wired
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Zordon said
Sorry guys. I started a new job and such, so haven't really been on. Give me a chance to read up on the IC and I'll work on a post.Edit: Posted. Also, can I just say that telling what is going on in my characters mind is proving harder than I thought. It's pretty much instinctual.


Ha, yeah, it's a very hard habit to break.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Zordon
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PerniciousIntent said
I hadn't actually meant for her to xD. Just her breathAt least her concentration skill is useful after all lol. I hadn't originally planned to start her off so sick, but if they had traveled a few weeks I figure that it would have progressed.


Lol. I only meant it as a fellow mage, I may be more attuned to it.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by rpg101
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Got my post up!

Wired said
Ha, yeah, it's a very hard habit to break.


It is a bit different, but I rather like it.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by PerniciousIntent
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I woyldnt have thought of it specifically, but I think it really serves it's purpose. I know I can't be the only one that's accidently included some private information just because it was provided.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Too Old 4 This
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@rpg101 Nice post. I liked how you took the scene and put it in your character's perspective. That's a useful trick and something I often forget to do.

@All Remember that if you're struggling for things to fit into your post without introspection that I DO NOT enforce post size limits so there is never any need to struggle. When you have nothing more to describe... stop. Often one paragraph posts are perfectly suitable. I don't have anything against long posts in particular, but I don't require them.

I will have an encounter with the Queen and Loghain soon enough, but I kind of want Joras and his ward to split off before then so those two scenes happen concurrently rather than sequentially. That should speed things up.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by PerniciousIntent
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I should be able to get a post up tonight.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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Posted. Also, are we going to do the original attack of dark spawn because if not I had an idea, they could come up from the ground as a surprise attack.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Too Old 4 This
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Automaton said
Posted. Also, are we going to do the original attack of dark spawn because if not I had an idea, they could come up from the ground as a surprise attack.


I wouldn't discuss that kind of thing with the players unless I wanted to destroy all suspense. All I can tell you is what your character knows from overhearing scouts at the camp. The Horde is growing and it is closing.

Also know that when you give me a suggestion, I automatically can't do it. The PCs are now expecting this twist so it looses all purpose.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Too Old 4 This
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@automaton So there's something I'm missing, probably my fault, what does NHS stand for? Also you don't need to wrestle with the 3rd person limited to make it be 3rd person omniscient. Just write what happens and your character's personality and feelings will gradually become clear without effort. Interact with other players and they will ask your character questions and you will be able to explain what you feel without having to constantly imply it.

@all The mage who is not riddled with taint may have sensed the radiation of magic emanating from the golem. I'll give you a chance to respond to it before I throw NPC mages or templar in his direction because it would be a good opportunity to start binding together PCs into something resembling a coherent group.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Automaton
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NHS was a typo, thank you for pointing it out to me. Also cleaned it up a little bit, I apologyze again for my bad grammar/spelling, my computer is getting fixed.
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