I know the feeling, I remember waddling in video games for weeks on end before getting to starting an RP I was working on. Not my finest hour.

Well, I see I've missed a lot these last few hours! I'm still trying to get used to the format of Google Docs [Not going super well] and working on another Erik post, which will most likely end up being a duo post between him and Amina. Should try and have that up soon.

@McHaggis

Oooh been there. And when you start that trilogy... yeah, you end up playing all the way through. Sometimes in one sitting.

And then you reach for Dragon Age to forget the bittersweet ending. Ah, Bioware. I love you even though you've been a life sink for me at times...

RELEVANT NOTE: ...Nope, I've got nothing.

@McHaggis Yep. It's games like them that make me want to write. If I get stuck I turn to them for some inspiration.

Downside is I then get too immersed and take a while to get back to writing. At least I have more ideas then!

@McHaggis Yep. It's games like them that make me want to write. If I get stuck I turn to them for some inspiration.

Downside is I then get too immersed and take a while to get back to writing. At least I have more ideas then!

I just end up wanting to write spacey science fiction stuff at that point; or science fantasy depending on my mood.

Alright, everyone, time to be your serious Pal for second here: I apologize for the inconvenience that whole situation caused everyone. It's dealt with now and I'm hoping we can move on and leave that all in the past.

And onward to feeling less responsible...

RP is meant to be a method of procrastination yet somehow I'm avoiding writing for 'em by replaying Mass Effect.

Nah. I allow it. When it comes between writing or playing through the Citadel DLC and bawling my eyes out at the ending - "the best"... Mass Effect will always win.

McHaggis, you kill those Reapers, and you kill them hard. Keelah se'lai.

RELEVANT NOTE: ...Nope, I've got nothing.

Don't be so hard on yourself. At least you tried. A for effort.

@Gowi. what say you to having David go on an outing with Warren and Annette? If you've got plans for the next few posts, we can have it take place later on. Just let us know if you're interested on having David team up with those two to try and secretly find weapons.

It sounds like a much better sub-plot if you read DJ's and my post. I really butchered that synopsis.

Yeah, let me get one more normal post about investigating a thief and see where it takes me and then we can plan a collab.

Honestly, you guys, I don't get how I was even considered to be causing a scene or so much as an inconvenience. I was described to be fighting or arguing when I was putting words down that's to the contrary of a claim. What's so wrong about that? This is OOC isn't it? I'm not aware that I'm posting in the wrong section. I was trying to be calm and rational and academic and professional. I didn't use exclamation marks, capital letters, I didn't call names, I didn't use vulgarities, I didn't dig up old wounds and I didn't bring in unrelated points to the table (even though I have some ammunition for this).

Then you guys kept piling accusations based on single words interpreted loosely and misunderstandings on me, and I steadily got frustrated. Has it ever occurred to you that there's a human being behind this name? A human being who is trying to get a discussion going? Who has a pet peeve with writing or reading Mary Sues that he must make sure there are no Mary Sues (real or imagined) anywhere? And then my points were ignored again and again, I treated everyone like human beings and I wasn't replied to like a human being. Instead, I was cast aside on a whim. Not that it got me going at all, not really, and what little anger I had I kept it down; I wasn't throwing a fit. Why is that so unbelievable? A raging fit would have looked even worse! It would have looked like this:



And now you guys ejected me from this RP on one single strike. I have seen far worse people being given chances, and absolutely irredeemable people given their three strikes before going out. Somehow I'm worse than that and I've set a record, for what? For getting a Mary Sue discussion going?

Can you guys please explain this to me? What is really disturbing right now is not the (so-called) argument but the fact that I feel that I'm gravely misunderstood, and the consequences seem to be disproportionate.

If you guys are reasonable people, at least talk to me about this.

I’m not sure what went beyond closed doors, but I will say this: when polite asked to take it to PM you did continue to bog down the tone of the OOC with drama that even if you felt was justified on your end was something that Pal didn’t want their OOC to become. It wasn’t a discussion to be had with productive results. I don’t presume to know Pal’s system; but even I was warned staunchly that I was out of line for comments made on a previous user and for turning the OOC tone’s into a dramatic sour one.

You should really be discussing this privately with the GM, and not making a public spectacle of it – that is a fact. Appeal your case to the GM, do not make a spectacle because it will not work in your favor.

You are an adult and you claim to be mature as well as level-headed; if so, you know that the correct course of action is to as I suggested make your appeal in a PM with the GM and not make a spectacle in public about it.

A spectacle is two people screaming at each other or fighting, we're clearly not doing that, so hear me out:

That's because I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried every avenue, but Pal seems dead set on asking me to resign, but he was just as calm as I was. So I'm back here again, and I figured I'll try the process from bottom-up again. Just thought I'd appeal to both people and ruler, as this is how it usually goes in real life as both have some power even if everything says otherwise.

Coming back to the thread is all I got left. So I'm appealing to you guys (and Pal, since this is public), can't this be worked out? You guys do know that I don't mean anything right? I mean, I've repeatedly stated my intentions to discuss, and I truly believed that it was going somewhere. I was trying to build confidence around my character and therefore help the RP.

Because if I'm out on one strike for something I believe is a debatable offense, then this RP's system is more penalising than most militaries and countries in the world based on principle (and not the acts they are penalising).

You may be wondering, why am I fighting so hard when this is just an RP? Because I feel extremely misunderstood. There're people behind all these names, which therefore makes this real. Doesn't matter if this is on the internet, the feeling's real, and it's eating me inside out. All I wanted is to talk and be understood, at the end of the day, and before that, all I wanted to do is to participate in this RP, and I was putting all my effort into it because it's that good.

EDIT: Anyway, me and Atomika had a talk. He gave me permission to put it up for the sake of my appeal:
[02/05 1:11 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Well
[02/05 1:11 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I guess it's the not aware of themselves bit
[02/05 1:12 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: But tolerance is also a virtue.
[02/05 1:13 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I just think you were...overreacting to a trivial issue. I mean, I know RPing and stuff is one of our shared loves but getting so worked up over a fictional work is...weird. And kinda sily, don'tcha think? Like, we're better than this, right? Why do we need to have silly arguments over things that can be settled amicably like real people?
[02/05 1:14 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, but I'm not exactly with you either. Cause I prefer not having fighting amongst people I see as colleagues or whatnot.
[02/05 1:14 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Call me a coward but I dislike fighting amongst other people.
[02/05 4:44 pm] xbriannova: The problem is, I wasn't arguing. I wasn't even worked up. Is the idea of the discussion dead?
[02/05 4:45 pm] xbriannova: Seriously, I'm not using exclamation marks, I'm not using capitals, I'm not calling names, I'm not calling vulgarities, and I'm not digging old wounds or trying to bring unrelated points in to hurt people
[02/05 4:46 pm] xbriannova: It makes me wonder what people in roleplayerguild consider an argument because I seriously think right now that I seem to be roleplaying with aliens or something.
[02/05 4:47 pm] xbriannova: She said my character is a Mary Sue, so I bring up points to say that she's not. What's so offensive about that?
[02/05 4:54 pm] xbriannova: How on earth is that fighting at all?
[02/05 5:04 pm] xbriannova: How was I not discussion things amicably
[02/05 5:04 pm] xbriannova: How was I not tolerating
[02/05 5:04 pm] xbriannova: Instead of throwing a fit, I sat down and talked things out
[02/05 5:04 pm] xbriannova: Honestly, something is wrong here
[02/05 6:23 pm] ‪DJ‪Atomika‬: Then perhaps your wording was simply taken the wrong way.
[02/05 6:23 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: As much as your intentions are good, wording also plays a part.
[02/05 6:24 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I don't know, honestly. I just don't see a reason why you argue.
[02/05 6:24 pm] DJ‪Atomika: Or why they argue.
[02/05 6:24 pm] xbriannova: I wasn't arguing 😭
[02/05 6:24 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: *Shrug* I don't know man.
[02/05 6:25 pm] xbriannova: Thing is, I've tried my utter best to be nice. And my words could be taken in a few ways. They chose the most negative way to handle it
[02/05 6:26 pm] DJ‪Atomika: I just don't know man.
[02/05 6:26 pm] xbriannova: Despite being told essentially that I'm utter rubbish. The Mary Sue is the worse insult to hurl at a writer.
[02/05 6:26 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I don't handle these things the way you do.
[02/05 6:26 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I at least admit that I'm in the wrong.
[02/05 6:26 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Then take steps to make what's wrong right again.
[02/05 6:27 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: But I can't totally convince you to think that way cause we're all human.
[02/05 6:27 pm] xbriannova: How can I admit that I'm wrong if I'm not? An innocent man fights the hardest, which is why I'm committing so much time to clear this
[02/05 6:27 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Entitled to our own thoughts and opinions and whatnot.
[02/05 6:28 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Well maybe they see the concept of a ten year old with almost perfect survival skills as a mary sue trait.
[02/05 6:28 pm] xbriannova: Her survival skills are far from perfect
[02/05 6:28 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: If you want my honest opinion, just say so. I don't want to add any more fuel to the fire if I can avoid it.
[02/05 6:28 pm] xbriannova: Haven't you been honest with me?
[02/05 6:29 pm] xbriannova: And I'm fine with everything you're saying
[02/05 6:29 pm] xbriannova: I'm just discussing with you, doing the same thing
[02/05 6:30 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Well, to be honest, Valentina is far from average. This is my opinion, by the by. Doesn't affect anything.
[02/05 6:30 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: The way you worded her sheet, it made her look too perfect.
[02/05 6:30 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: The weaknesses are okay
[02/05 6:30 pm] ‪DJ‪Atomika: But the strengths are...worded more suiting an adult or a young lady rather than a child.
[02/05 6:31 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I'm actually looking at her sheet now, just giving my honest opinion.
[02/05 6:31 pm] xbriannova: What about the recent changes I'd made? Based on what Mchaggis said?
[02/05 6:31 pm] ‪DJ‪Atomika‬: Eh? Changes?
[02/05 6:31 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I'm looking at the sheet you posted on page 8 of the OOC pardon me XD
[02/05 6:31 pm] DJ‪Atomika: Perhaps you should pm me the proper sheet.
[02/05 6:32 pm] xbriannova: Oh lord, that's of course bad
[02/05 6:32 pm] xbriannova: I've moved the character sheet to the character sheet section
[02/05 6:32 pm] xbriannova: I called my thread the hotel of the forlorn
[02/05 6:32 pm] xbriannova: There were serious changes since
[02/05 6:33 pm] DJ‪Atomika: Tell me which sections you changed so I can compare with the original
[02/05 6:33 pm] ‪DJ‪Atomika‬: Don't have to, like, detail everything, just the section.
[02/05 6:34 pm] xbriannova: Actually the changes were extensive. Only the skills section remain unchanged
[02/05 6:34 pm] xbriannova: Even before Mchaggis' suggestion, the cs was considered accepted
[02/05 6:35 pm] xbriannova: So it should be even better now with Mchaggis' suggestions
[02/05 6:35 pm] DJ‪Atomika: Well if it's acceptable
[02/05 6:36 pm] ‪DJ‪Atomika‬: Then the only problem now is what's going on with the players, not the characters.
[02/05 6:36 pm] xbriannova: So this really begs the question. Shouldn't Mchaggis be ejected with me since she created the scene in the first place? But by my definition, it isn't a scene...
[02/05 6:36 pm] xbriannova: Just even more inconsistencies with what is going on
[02/05 6:36 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I think what's in order here is a big ol "ya'll sit down and shut up".
[02/05 6:37 pm] xbriannova: Since she knew it was accepted and yet steadily criticised the character
[02/05 6:37 pm] xbriannova: What do you mean by that? I'm not familiar with that expression
[02/05 6:37 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Everyone just calm your tits, is what I'm saying.
[02/05 6:38 pm] DJ‪Atomika: I think it just might be her problem.
[02/05 6:39 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Even though I see where she's coming from, Valentina isn't exactly perfect in a character sense, but in an objective, skills and background based sense, she is. She's got the tough upbringing of the outbreak, smokes and drinks like an adult, already has an array of sharp things, swears like a sailor and whatnot
[02/05 6:39 pm] ‪DJ‪Atomika‬: I know you can justify it
[02/05 6:39 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I'm not saying anything is wrong
[02/05 6:40 pm] xbriannova: Also, she's reckless, careless, inexperienced...
[02/05 6:40 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: But the thing is if I can see it that way too then something is a little bit off.
[02/05 6:40 pm] xbriannova: Everything she does will have something going wrong because of that
[02/05 6:40 pm] ‪DJ‪Atomika‬: Yeah, but that doesn't take away from the fact that she's still extremely well equipped for the present situation.
[02/05 6:40 pm] xbriannova: Have you seen my first post before I deleted it?
[02/05 6:41 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Yeah, I saw, and a great post too.
[02/05 6:41 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: I got stopped by that cause I was thinking about having Ames interact with her
[02/05 6:41 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: But then all this came up
[02/05 6:41 pm] xbriannova: She's a complete klutz, a completely bumbling mega-mistake maker
[02/05 6:41 pm] xbriannova: Though part of that is because she hasn't eaten in days
[02/05 6:42 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: But her sheet doesn't reflect that, as far as the general gist of it goes.
[02/05 6:42 pm] DJ‪Atomika: From what I read anyway.
[02/05 6:42 pm] xbriannova: Is it because I summed it up in fewer words?
[02/05 6:42 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: If, perhaps, the wording less emphasised on her strengths and more on how they still barely make a difference cause she's a kid then perhaps it would make more sense.

And yeah.
[02/05 6:43 pm] xbriannova: I wished Mchaggis and Gowi could talk like you do
[02/05 6:43 pm] xbriannova: You certainly haven't blocked me yet
[02/05 6:43 pm] DJ‪Atomika: I don't block anyone unless given a good reason to.
[02/05 6:44 pm] DJ‪Atomika: It's part of who I am.
[02/05 6:44 pm] ‪DJ‪Atomika‬: I tolerate a lot of things.
[02/05 6:44 pm] xbriannova: I'm doing the exact same thing as I was in ooc. And yet... 😭
[02/05 6:44 pm] xbriannova: So you see what I mean? What we're doing now is what I'm going for
[02/05 6:45 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: Well then.
[02/05 6:46 pm] DJ‪Atomika‬: You could always transfer this log to the OOC, let them see exactly what you mean.
[02/05 6:47 pm] xbriannova: Alright. Anyway, what you've said would have further refined my cs to even greater heights
[02/05 6:47 pm] xbriannova: Anyway, I think I will

I don't stand on any side of the line. I stand on it. I hate it when people argue or bicker amongst each other. C'mon, we're all more civilised than this, right?

It’s not up to me to make a stance of authority here, unless I am adopted a role of authority. However, I disagree with you that this isn’t a spectacle – this seems like a public and very dramatic state of causing a huge spectacle around what should’ve been a very private matter. Had I been GM in Pal’s place I would most certainly be far stricter in certain areas and less in others. We all have different GM and role-playing styles, after all.

However I am not a fan of the public cry for attention by any means.

“I’m innocent! I’ve done nothing wrong! Other co-writers please agree with me!”

I understand your feelings and perspective, I just don’t think they are being expressed in the proper channels and to put it lightly you are only digging yourself further into the dirt.

My only opinion on the matter is that this should be private and not thrown into a dramatic call for arms on a OOC that has been stated before that should be light and drama free. The initial argument should have always been a private discourse based on that alone and when I told you to halt your argument on request you attempted to carry on thus ignoring me.

Alright, this time around I'll cease and desist, and wait for Pal's reply. I hope he replies soon. Anyway, I'll just go back to working on my real writing.

I just hope we're on equal level now in terms of understanding each other, and it seems that we are, since you said so. If nothing else, at least we've achieved this. But I promise, if I get through this without still getting ejected, I'll be able to talk to you guys better since I know you guys better, and how we're different.

EDIT: At first I regretted deleting my post, but I realised I've backed it up in my computer. So fingers' crossed.

If you or anybody wants to clear anything with me ever; my skype is up publicly in my profile and I will add and talk to anyone. But remember I am only a member of this role-play, my authority and perspective is null in the face of who is actually in charge.

Alright, but I think we've concluded this one very successfully. I'll PM you if anything comes up. I don't have skype because I have an unreasonable fear of it.

@Darkraven, I normally try to be kind and soft with these things, because no one likes to be removed from any RP, but I'm going to be blunt now here, in the OOC, because we both know we've discussed this through PMs and it's still not sitting with you. Yeah, I don't like arguments in the OOC, but you're still not listening to my PMs.

I've already asked you to resign, my way of saying "you're out". I was nice about it, and you know I was. That was early last night. You continued to PM me defending yourself, getting emotional and personal about it, even after I stopped replying as I felt it wasn't worth it anymore. Then you continue to seek approval from everyone else, even after I've told you you were out. The bottom line here is that you're not in this RP anymore. You have no reason to keep posting here.

At this point, it's not how you acted before that's made me decide to publicly boot you. It's how you're still acting about it. As I said in PMs, this RP is not your life; drop it, move on, and forget about it. It's not worth the energy you're spending on it. Join another RP, start your own. You're getting too worked up over this when you really don't need to be. Stop stressing over this one; it's not worth it. You can find something better, something more suited to you. This is not that.

Now, please, stop posting in this RP, and I'd like to ask you refrain from PMing me anymore. I'm sorry it came to this, but it did. Now let's leave it alone and get on with things. You don't need to reply to this. Just read it and go on with your day.

So.... where were we? I think it was discussing the pros and cons of a Mass Effect session when suffering from writer's block, no?

Oh, also I wanted to say that I've got a lot of free time over the next week (Bank Holiday on Monday and then I've got Friday-Sunday this week coming booked off as holiday also) so I'll be available then for the collaborative posts. That was if that was still the plan. It's my first day off in a while so I'm all outta sorts.

I can nix David's plot whenever, by the way; seems I'm not sure where I'm going with it.