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Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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Let's wait for Nallore, shall we?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Nallore
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I'll get a post up tonight.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
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Posted my CS
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by datadogie
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@Jasonhero
Right, so having a read through I have a few things to say about your CS and a few things you have done in it. Others may comment on this, too;
-The Rubble was a (I'll put this simply) colony, of sorts, of a massive amount of interconnected asteroids, built by the survivors of Madrigal. It was also an insurrectionist hideout. That's just a small fraction of the story of the Rubble. What you wrote did not align with the storyline.
-You've changed the storyline slightly by including Spartan-117 clearing a path for the marine to evac the wounded. I'll cut you some slack, as you did say he was on his way to another objective, but you see what I mean.
-I'm very unsure that just because someone saw Spartan-117 and survived the flood would mean that they are granted a place in the Spartan-IV program.

I also believe your character to be, well, I'm unsure how to say it. Jason seems to run into enemy fortifications/forces single-handedly, and get out unscathed, and also with the burden of an additional soldier he is trying to save.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
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@datadogie

The Rubble was originally a mining Station. It was converted by the Survivors of Madrigal and insurrectionists. I said buisness trip, as it was what Jason thought. I had planned to reveal later that since then Jason had discovered his Parents to be insurrectionists. It was where covenant forces worked with humans in a bid to get the slipspace capable asteroid and over run earth with Unggoy. It was destroyed by Thel Vadamee's elite squad.

Spartan 117 was on his way to the crashed ship to blow it's engines. He met the crazy marine (I'm sure most of you shot him like I did while playing halo 3). Then proceeded on. Master Chief did clear a path, as he killed all the flood. Jason simply went after the Spartan and was evaced by a Pelican along the way. Which doesn't change the story, as 117 still followed the same path and killed everything in his path.

Meeting a Spartan puts you on ONI'S watchlist, as they want to ensure you don't say anything incriminating. Coming into contact with anything ONI has Secrets about Puts you on their watchlist. Surviving the Flood does the same, as Sergeant Avery Johnson did both (though he cheated cause he can't be infected. Jason can) and ended up with ONI eyes on him. Not to mention ONI has eyes on everything according to 'Thursday War' and such novels about ONI. ONI noticed that he would make a good candidate for SPARTAN IV after watching him for a while.

I would also like to point out that at no point did I say he came out unhurt. I assumed that you would figure that a lone man charging covenant outposts alone would get wounded. As he has quite often. I intended to get him wounded doing something stupid like that in this rp as well.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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I'd like to point out that Sergeant Johnson was a member of the Orion Project, the original Spartans. I forget where I read it, but I know that's canon. I'd also like to point you that you're lucky Nallore is a forgiving GM, cause I kill people when they do things they know are stupid. Not because I'm an ass, but because realistically, that's usually what happens. Unless you're Chief, then you can defy the laws of fucking physics and call it a normal day XD
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by datadogie
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-Indeed, The Rubble was originally a mining station. However, the way you wrote it described it as a small mining station of which the Covenant attacked and a group of people escaped. You also said it in a way which indicated the Covenant attacked it while it was still a small mining station. Also, the plan was to get Slipspace navigational data from the insurrectionists, as well as functioning Slipspace drives, not just overrun the asteroid with Unggoy. They could easily do that with any asteroid.
-I agree with your second point.
-Spartans are expensive. ONI watches him, they'll put him off because he's acting all suicidal.
-At no point did you say he came out hurt, either. Your point is invalid. You wrote about it and then gave no indication of injury, nor did you write he was uninjured.

Zarkun also supplied an additional point. Sergeant Johnson was part of the ORION/Spartan-I project.

And good afternoon, Zarkun. ^_^
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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Morning, data.

Another point I'd like to bring up is that you wrote Battle of New Mambasa. The Flood invasion was not the first battle, it was the second. The events of the first battle took place in Halo 3: ODST, which I trust you knew already. Also, it is in your best interest, to get a character accepted quickly, to write out little details like injuries sustained while being suicidal. I also have to agree with Data on the whole rescue marine thing. That is established Canon. Even my Spartan-II never crossed paths with Master Chief, especially where in game events occurred. I mean, it's a cool idea, but there's a reason we're toying with Post-Halo 4 stuff and that's because there's no established canon for it as of yet.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
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@Zarkun
On a note unrelated to my character, I'm pretty sure chief is having a bad day if he doesn't defy physics at least 20 times.

Whenever the UNSC showed up, the plan did change to overrun the asteroid. Then take it to earth (Referring to the slipspace capable one). The Battle of New Mambasa is both. I'm guessing from the way you said that I forgot to add in the 2nd part to that so that is definitely my bad.

I need to add the injuries? His hand is gonna be prosthetic. Got cut off by an elite with an energy sword. (Star Wars reference!). I can fix all that later cause work and AP resting and whatnot (Yay -_-)
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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AP resting? That's a class?! Where can I sign up?!
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by datadogie
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Well, considering you just stated he would have a prosthetic hand, I'd have to call you stupid if you didn't include that in your CS's bio/CS somewhere. No offense.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Nallore
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Jason your character is accepted just make whatever edits Zar and data have made, also there is post Halo 4 canon stuff, such as some of the issues of Halo Ecalation, particularly The Next 72 Hours Arc which is 3 days after the game. Also some of the RP is based off of it sort of, but anyway sorry I didn't post last night I ended up getting sick and yeah.
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Jason your character is accepted just make whatever edits Zar and data have made, also there is post Halo 4 canon stuff, such as some of the issues of Halo Ecalation, particularly The Next 72 Hours Arc which is 3 days after the game. Also some of the RP is based off of it sort of, but anyway sorry I didn't post last night I ended up getting sick and yeah.


Ahh sickness, what a friend...



Also:

Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
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Fixed the issues.

I noted that the Rubble is a colony not a mining facility. Added his injuries, clarified that Chief wasn't clearing a path specifically to help me (He's chief he kills shit).

Since Nallore said that I was accepted after those chances, am I good to post?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Nallore
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Yep you are all good to post. :)
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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Like she said, you're good. Nallore, some of us are waiting on you though XD
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Nallore
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I'm working on it now lol, again sorry for making you all wait, worked all day and with a cold/alergies doesn't help with writing lol.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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Allergies suck. They're strong this year too.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Charter
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The allergies are strong in this one...

Also, here's some more:

I find you're lack of tissues... disturbing.

I'm just being Flooded by allergies today.

... I'll take my leave now.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Revans Exile
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Fuck it, I am done with this.
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