@White Feather
I don't think they're interested anymore. They never posted again and didn't respond to me.

Sorry about being inactive, life got in the way. I'll get a full post up tomorrow.

@Welshdudette
Not a problem. I look forward to seeing your post

@White Feather
Jacks surname: jack daggerswift (dat naim doe)

Dynasty:daggerswift(I guess)

invisibily limit:in the sunlight you can see a faint refraction where he is standing

Creature(I assume you mean the shadowlegs):they are the size of a wagon wheel,they are rather rare to spot,and even more rare to survive conflict with,they are mainly passive but if provoked will maul your flesh,(so can I actually add a part where he discovers the reason and way his blood was crossed with one!?)

He is sometimes driven by a bloodlust to kill but that is rare(his shadowleg blood)

How about only two dark spawn,when one dies he can replace it,but he would have to wait 120 seconds

Okay how does this sound
Positive traits:funny smart calm

Neutral traits:calm(it's a bit of both)

Negative traits:small bloodlust,sly,violent

What his shadowleg blood does to him

Bloodlust:after a while he will begin to grow a tad violent,which is when he would want to rip his enemies into pieces

Quiet:he tends to be a stealthy person

Sickness:occasionally his blood "argues"with his shadowleg blood,making him nauseous and sometimes cause him to get very,very tired and fall asleep,which would be when he were to get better

One more thing:can I make him have no family?if I can make the thing about his blood being crossed a plot then maybe I could weave a lack of family or memory of a family into it

Is it just me, or looks @Blizz's character (now that it isn't as OP) a lot like Sam? I mean, he has bloodlust, which is like Sam's animal instinct, they both use stealth and they can both turn invissible. There are even some other smaller similarities. What you think, @ViolentViolet?

P.S. is there a RedKeep now? Didn't see those among the locations.

@Blizz

Addressing a few points:

Dat naim indeed. It's right up there with Edge Maverick and Angus MacGyver for the title of "Awesome McCoolname"

Dynasty is good, but this would just be tagged on to the end of your normal name in the CS. No need to make a new section for it.
Name: Jack Daggerswift

By limit, I meant duration. He can't stay invisible forever, or else it's just unfair.

Yup, Bloodlust looks good. Sam Spark suffers something similar - could be another good plot point.

I think, personally, your character should be more stabby-stealthy oriented rather than magic based. I'd just drop the Dark Spawn altogether and replace with a more spider-like ability i.e. poison bite or constriction. All your other spells have this down, so the "summon evil monster from the realms of Oblivion" thing looks a little out-of-place.

So structured (the way I do it - everyone has a unique style) like:
Traits:
Funny, Smart, Calm - Deceitful, Quiet - Bloodthirsty, Violent
Look good?

Well, we need some kind of backstory and the GM doesn't accept "Can't remember". MAybe he accidently killed his family shortly after transforming? I don't know, I'm making stuff up here.

---------
Hey, one more thing. This might seem like nitpicking, but could you put capital letters on important details and spaces after low punctuation marks? It would just make the whole thing so much easier to read.

You have it written like -
Sickness:occasionally his blood "argues"with his shadowleg blood,making him nauseous and sometimes cause him to get very,very tired and fall asleep,which would be when he were to get better

But it would much easier to read if it looked like this -
Sickness: Occasionally his human blood "argues" with his Shadowleg blood, making him nauseous and causes him to get very, very tired and fall asleep. He generally recovers after resting.

If you want, I can PM a few things to you that would improve readability. Again, I don't mean to sound patronising, it's just a struggle for me personally.

Dat naim indeed. It's right up there with Edge Maverick and Angus MacGyver for the title of "Awesome McCoolname"

You forgot "Hero Sura."

@White Feather

Okay how about this?

Jack Daggerswift.

Age: 12

Personality

Positive traits:funny, calm and smart

Neutral traits: smart

Negative traits:sly, vengeful and violent

Race: Half Brood: Anyone or thing that has Arachnid blood mixed in with its own.

Weapons: Fang Katars.

[Abilities]
Invisibility: Able to become invisible 60 seconds.

Blacken: Creates a thick mist that only jack can see through(nothing more to it other than its a defensive ability.)

Story: Jack grew up with his family, Arin and Alice Daggerswift, who were monster hunters.When jack reached the age of twelve his family gave him the families prized weapon: the Arachnid Katars, ever since then he would hunt monsters and train.

One day a band of strangers called the Dark hellions abducted jack, he awoke in a strange place he had known about, he saw scars on his arms as well as hundreds of dead Shadowleg spiders, he woke up the next morning thinking it was a dream, an hour later he fell unconscious and had visions of the same place.He then awoke in the middle of town and saw it in ruins, the people were slaughtered, houses were cuts in pieces and he was right in the thick of it.After that day he never looked back and always kept running as if something were after him, never knowing what ungodly things were done to him that night.

Effects of Shadowleg blood.

Sickness: sometimes his crossed blood "argues"with itself which would make jack somewhat sick, however a simple nap would fix the problem.

Stealth: Jack is very stealthy.

Bloodlust: Every few weeks jack grows hungry for blood, which is when he would storm off to kill an animal or his enemies.

@White Feather
One more thing:Jack has no idea why his blood was crossed or why it was, In fact: he is unaware that was crossed at all.

@NightmareInd
I messaged them and said they aren't right for the role play. I'm not accepting their characters. So don't worry about it okay? *smiles*

Did I type the wrong thing O.o I was working on that right after a Game of Thrones rp so I probably just typed the wrong one lol

Hey, don't you think you're all being to harsh to the poor boy? We're here to have fun, not to follow thousands of rules. Not everyone has the same experience as a roleplayer and they need to make mistakes to learn.

Hey, don't you think you're all being to harsh to the poor boy? We're here to have fun, not to follow thousands of rules. Not everyone has the same experience as a roleplayer and they need to make mistakes to learn.

And they can do it somewhere else. I'm harsh, but I'm honest. I did take a look at their post history and I'm not dealing with a bunch of one-liners with bad grammar. That's for the free section.

@ViolentViolet

Okay... But that sounds pretty scary. *hides*

This is why I used to not rp, people like you that judge people just by grammar that they choose to use on the internet. I personally don't give a dam(dam not damn)about someone's grammar.This is the internet, not a hostage situation or a job interview, don't make it seem like your life will end if it doesn't go your way.-leaves.-

@Neko Sensei
Why does that sound scary? I warn my players before hand that I don't mind a few mistakes here and there as long as the vast majority of them are cleaned up all nice and pretty; I just abhor dealing with people who won't A) make their own characters properly, B) continually not check their messages for improper use of punctuation or sentence structure, and post it anyway.

I get people make mistakes, but I want a plot and I can't if have to make it friendly for someone who can't handle it. I'm the bad guy because I'm honest and up front telling someone they can't handle it. That's all I do.

So since your're lurking @Blizz, I'm not going to ask you to stay or encourage you to get better. Because you've seen me before, and you know what I would expect. I don't like players like you and it makes it hard to make a story. SO go right ahead an leave, no ones stopping you.

What I'm gonna say is something I don't want taken as offense,just know that now,

I used to hate roleplay because I knew there people no different from you:people that can't accept human error, I get you don't like me and I'm not saying I don't like you,I'm just saying that I don't appreciate the fact that some people can't accept another persons writing style, which is exactly why I've started two role plays:so people from free to advanced can come as one and not have to think they would be turned down just because of where they stand.

@ViolentViolet

Okay, I understand. There's no need to scold me. >.< Sorry. I just thought that it could work if you just taught that person how to play in the proper way, nothing more.

@Neko Sensei

In my experience, if they want to learn, they would try. They should have messaged me first when I asked them too.

I'm not scolding you Neko *pats head*

All that effort... Wasted.

And it was going so well...

@ViolentViolet

Yeah, I guess I know what you mean.

Meow~ Neko is happy. ^.^
_{But I think I should go and write my reply already... :3}

@White Feather
Sorry, but you didn't have to try and help them. Players should try to help themselves before having someone else do it for them.

@Neko Sensei
Lol, of course you should. Take your time though hun.