Name:
Jordan Phillips

Age:
19

Weapon:
Your friendly neighborhood icepick and an aluminum baseball bat.

Nationality:
American

Relationships:
Single Pringle

Family:
Marcus Phillips (Father, Alive)
Heather Phillips (Mother, Deceased)
Timothy Phillips (Brother, Deceased)
Mary Cunningham (Sister, Alive)

Personality:
If one were to see Jordan on stage, one would likely say that the little woman is just a joyful spring of raunchy happiness. That’s not too far off the mark either. Jordan can be rather upbeat and definitely an optimist. The chick is just not one to get too worked up over things. Life’s a cruel joke, so why not just laugh? Take things too seriously and you’ll just get crushed.

But the real Jordan Phillips is a bit different. She can be a bit brash, loud, sarcastic, and stubborn. When the girl thinks she’s right, she knows she’s right. And dammit, she likes being right.

There’s not much of an outward serious side to Jordan, which can be frustrating for some, but who cares? In the end, the only one a gal can count on is herself. And besides, Jordan is serious when it counts...where it counts. On the inside. Numero uno is number one. She’s not above lying, cheating, or even stealing if it means just surviving another day. Because that’s what she is. A survivor. Selfishness is only selfishness if you die, and she ain’t planning on dying anytime soon. Survival’s just another game she’s trying to win.

History:
Marcus Phillips and his wife, Heather, had three children in a small town outside Savannah. First came Tim, then came Mary, and finally our Jordan. Marcus was a construction worker and Heather was a nurse. So growing up, the Phillips household did pretty alright, at least financially. And really, it was a pretty normal household. No big family secrets, the parents got along pretty well, and hell, the kids stayed out of trouble for the most part, maybe a little pot here and there, but these things happen.

So pretty standard, yeah?

At least, Jordan didn’t have any complaints growing up. She was a pretty simple kid, not wanting for much. She had some friends in school, but wasn’t particularly popular. She was just a quiet ginger girl to most. She wasn’t the worst academically, but she was definitely out of the race for valedictorian.

Then about the time she was in seventh grade, her father and brother got into a car accident. They had went off hunting one morning, and the two of them apparently got pretty wasted. On the way home, Marcus, in his inebriated state, ended up driving off of the road and spiraled into a river. They managed to escape the car, but Tim’s inability to swim caused him to swept away. He ended up hitting his head on a rock and drowning. Marcus got out with just some cuts and bruises.

Heather was distraught at the loss of her only son and sickened at the sight of her pathetic husband. He had slipped into a bit of an alcoholic spiral and it was just too much for Heather. She took her own life a couple weeks later.

Jordan and Mary handled this different ways. Mary started to act out, getting into fights, got multiple piercings and tattoos, and eventually Mary got pregnant by this kid named Tom who said he was in love. Surprisingly enough, he really was. They ended up getting married and moving off to Texas where Tom got a job on the oil fields.

Jordan...well, she went numb for a while. Then she started to act out a bit as well...but not with her fists. She laughed her way through the pain. She became disruptive in class, her grades dropped. But she was funny. Her classmates thought so at least. And her friends. And, after she turned eighteen, she found out that complete strangers thought so as well, as she started performing stand-up at local clubs for Open-Mic.

She’s spent the year after graduation living in Savannah proper with a couple friends from high school, working odd jobs while occasionally getting paid gigs. Maybe it wasn’t the most glamourous life, but hell, it was enough for her. For now. New York was in her future, she could feel it, she just had to put in her time first...

Other:
-Jordan stands at about 4’10” and weighs 104lbs.

-Jordan is a bit of a geek. She is a recovering World of Warcraft addict.

-Jordan, despite being raised a Baptist, considers herself to be an Atheist. She’s not too vocal on that particular point though.

-Jordan can play guitar pretty well. She often would incorporate it into her stand-up routine, inspired by the likes of Stephen Lynch or Demetri Martin.

-Jordan is not exactly athletic. About the most moving she’s done was as a waitress. That job sucked.